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GENERAL AGENCY.

duce them to continue their agency, that being the chief object of Messrs. P. and Co.

It will, in particular, be required to prove that the easiest, shortest, and cheapesi mode of transporting a large number of skilful workmen, that their egrrespondents had wished to be sent into Biscay, to assist in the operations of some very particular friends there, was, by landing them, with their suols and engines, at Lisbon and Corunna, to proceed from thence through Portugal and Spain, to the places where their assistance was necessary.

It is hoped that it will not be found impossible to prove that Lisbon and Corunna are much nearer to the river Ebru than Bilboa or Tarragona; as, although every System of Geography, from Ptolemy and Moll to Pinkerton, is unfavourable to that position, Messrs. P. and Co. are convinced that those Systems are erroneous, and that a sound and ingenious logician will find no insuperable difficulty in such a demonstration.

The correspondents of Messrs. P. being also somewhat dissatisfied with the small number of horses and engines that were sent with the first division of the workmen, it will be required to prove not only that Messrs. P. and Co. had at that time neither horses nor engines; but that if there had been any in this island, it was impossible to have hired ships to take any more across the water at that time. If, at the meeting, it should be said by any of the correspondents, that Messrs. P. and Co. had not only great numbers of horses and engines, but also several very large ships, in which they might have been sent over with the workmen, it must be proved that horses cannot possibly be transported in those vessels, which are only calculated for stowing bullocks, whose horns greatly facilitate the operation of getting them on board, and of slinging them between the guns. As it will be necessary to prove, that Messrs. P.

and

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ALL THE TALENTS.

and Co. have been able, prudent, vigilant, active, and vigorous, beyond any other agents--that they have been invariably right, and their correspondents invariably wrong—it is hoped that no one will apply who cannot prove that the concerns of their correspondents have been conducted in a manner perfectly congenial to their wishes, and such as was most conducive to their interests, and cannot be so well conducted by any other persons:

Apply by letter (post paid) to Messrs. P. and Co. general agents, Whitehali.

(From the Oracle, Jan. 4.]

ALL THE TALENTS.

[From the Morning Post, Jan. 5.)

THE

HE day approaches, thanks to Fate,

When we our fury may display;
Regardless of the nation's hate,
Then the little shall seem great,

The honest to the bold give way.
In Saint Stephen's chapel fam'd,

Thundering speeches we will make :
Yestill we 're from the practice sham'd,
As we were wont, though we were blam'd,

We'll make the heads of hearers ache.
Noise and nonsense, quibble, pun,

In succession quick shall flow ;
With wish to dim Britannia's sun,
Abuse in copious streams shall run,

Nor be diverted by the foe.
Whate'er's perform’d, that we'll condenin :

This has been our practice ever ;
And perseverance is a gem,
Which, stripp'd from Virtue's diadem,
None shall from the Talents sever.

Advance,

EPIGRAM.

Advance, retreat, return, attack,

Factious slaves 't is known can do;
Like Indian tribes we'll cut and hack,
In hopes we may the Treas'ry sack,

The tempting object we've in view.
What though our weapons inay recoil,

As they have often done before,
Defeat makes party spirit boil,
And oft it makes our leaders broil,

And with redoubled loudness roar.
'Tis true John Bull doth us despise,

Yea loaths the constellation ;
But his contempt creates surprise,
And each one of the Talents cries,

It proves his vacillation.
To punish which, if we succeed,

And rule the state once more, Sir,
It has been mov'd, and 't is agreed,
Sans all remorse, with dashing speed,

To make the traitor roar, Sir.
And if perchance the brute goes mad,

As we will strive to make him,
Indeed the Talents will be glad,
For charming pickings may be had

When all his wits forsake him.
“ Ay," quoth the friend, to whom address'd

This ludicrous oration,
But till that time assur'd pray rest,
Though • All the Talents' strive their best,

They will not rule the nation."

FOR THE TIMES.

[Jan. 5.) MR. EDITOR, SOME of your readers being at a loss to know how

the Board of Inquiry meant to divide their two qualities of “ zeal and firmness” among the three

generals,

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TWELFTH NIGHT.

generals, the following parody of a well-known epigram may, perhaps, solve the difficulty.

EPIGRAM.
Three generals in three sister kingdoms boril,
Fair Ireland, England, Scotland, did adorn.
The first * in zeal, in ardent zeal surpassid ;
The next + in firmness; and in both the last 1.
The force of nature could no further go;
To make a third-she join'd the former two.

TWELFTH NIGHT.

[From the British Press.] DR RAWING for King and Queen was general

throughout this great metropolis, as well as in the festive Christmas parties assembled at the different noblemen's seats in the country. We have been favoured with a few :

Mr. PERCEVAL-Mother Cele:

Mottom" What will become of this poor country when I am laid low?"

Mr. CANNING-Serjeant Eitherside :
Motto--“ For I'll be Vicar of Bray.”
Lady E. BEST-Eloisa :
MottorMake me but mistress to the man I love."
Viscount CASTLEREAGH_Jack the Giant Killer :
Motto_" Fee, faugh, fum, I smell the blood of an
Irishman."

Lady H-M-LT-N-Doll Tear-sheet :
Motto -“ Oh! the days when I was young!"
Countess of B-CK-NGH-MSH-RE-Dame Quickly :
Motto- What a Beau your Granny was !”
Earl of GUILDFORD-Comus :
Mottom". Let all here be mirth and jollity.”'

Sir Arthur. + Sir Harry had all the firmness he was so firm, that Sir Arthur could not get him to move.

# Sir Hew.

Alderman

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Alderman BIRCH-Major Sturgeon:
Motto-" I will lead them on."
The Marquis of AB-RC-RN-Blue Beard :
Motto I will have six more if I can."
The Earl of L Sir John Brute :
Motto Keep off, or I will kuock you down."
The Countess of A-

Jenny Diver:
Motto—“. Without your cash your kissing won't do."
The Marchioness of A N-Hermione :
Motto" Do but hear me."

THE NEW YEAR-1809.
A FRAGMENT, IN IMITATION OF THE STYLE OF

THOMSON.

[From the Morning Post, Jan. 10.) HA TARK! 't is the voice of merriment

In every quarter of the echoing town
The sound of dissolute debauch is heard ;
Alike in the proud square and humble lane,
The gorgeous palace and the wretched shed,
Reigns revelry omnipotent.

And wherefore grows this universal joy,
This happiness which even o'er the face
Of squalid misery spreads the looks of mirth?
Have mankind learu'd the lesson to be just,
To know their fellow-mortals but as friends
Journeying together the same dreary path,
Which mutual love alone can render good;
Or have they, in the school of wisdom, learnt
To bid accursed war and all its train
Of horrid forms for evermore to cease,
Nor fill the world with widows' piercing cries,
The tears of orphans, and the mournful groans
Of parents reft of children and all this
To gratify some villain's lust of rule,
Or add a jewel to a lyrant's crown-
Were such the causes, then 't were worthy men
To give all sorrows to the winds, and plunge

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