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She wept-but wept not long; to arms she flew,
THE MODERN FINE GENTLEMAN.
Quale portentum neque militaris
Just broke from school, pert, impudent, and raw,
A monster of such complicated worth
Next, because business is now all the vogue,
[full. Fierce without strength; o'erflowing, though not
Now quite a Frenchman in his garb and air, His neck yoked down with bag and solitaire, The liberties of Britain he supports, And storms at placemen, ministers, and courts ; Now in cropp'd greasy hair, and leather breeches, He loudly bellows out his patriot speeches; King, lords, and commons ventures to abuse, Yet dares to show those ears he ought to lose. . From hence to White's our virtuous Cato flies, There sits with countenance erect and wise, And talks of games of whist and pigtail pies; Plays all the night, nor doubts each law to break, Himself unknowingly has help'd to make; Trembling and anxious, stakes his utmost groat, Peeps o'er his cards, and looks as if he thought: * Parody on these lines of Sir John Denham: Though deep, yet clear; though gentle, yet not dull, Strong without rage, without o'erflowing full.
Next morn disowns the losses of the night,
Devoted thus to politics and cards,
Thus poor in wealth, he labours to no end,
And yet in this so bad is his success,
* Two noted pugilists.
Quickly again distress'd for want of coin, He digs no longer in the exhausted mine, But seeks preferment as the last resort, Cringes each morn at levees, bows at court, And, from the hand he hates, implores support: The minister, well pleased at small expense To silence so much rude impertinence, With squeeze and whisper yields to his demands, And on the venal list enroll'd he stands ; A ribbon and a pension buy the slave, This bribes the fool about him, that the knave. And now arrived at his meridian glory, He sinks apace, despised by Whig and Tory; Of independence now he talks no more, Nor shakes the senate with his patriot roar, But silent votes, and, with court trappings hung, Eyes his own glittering star, and holds his tongue. In craft political a bankrupt made, He sticks to gaming as the surer trade; Turns downright sharper, lives by sucking blood, And grows, in short, the very thing he would : Hunts out young heirs who have their fortunes
spent, And lends them 'ready cash at cent. per cent. Lays wagers on his own and others' lives, Fights uncles, fathers, grandmothers, and wives, Till death at length, indignant to be made The daily subject of his sport and trade, Veils with his sable hand the wretch's eyes, And, groaning for the bets he loses by't, he dies.
LOVES OF THE TRIANGLES,
A MATHEMATICAL AND PHILOSOPHICAL POEM.
INSCRIBED TO DR. DARWIN.
Argument. Warning to the Profane not to approach-Nymphs and Deities
of Mathematical Mythology-Cyclois of a pensive turnPendulums, on the contrary, playful-and' Why ?-Senti. mental onion of the Naiads and Hydrostatics-Marriage of Euclid and Algebra-Pulley the emblem of MechanicsOptics of a licentious disposition-distinguished by her TeJescope and Green Spectacles.--Hyde-park Gate on a Sunday morning-Cockneys-Coaches.--Didactic Poetry-Non. sensia - Love delights in Angles or Corners - Theory of Fluxions explained-Trochais, the Nymph of the WheelSmoke-jack described—Personification of elementary or cali. nary Fire.-- Little Jack Horner---Story of Cinderella--Rectangle, a Magician, educated by Plato and Menecmus--in love wiih Ihree Curves at the same time--served by Gins, or Geni-transforms himself into a Cone- The three Curves requite bis Passion-description of them, Parabola, Hyper. bola, and Ellipsis-Asympiotes--Conjugated Axes-Hlustrations-Rewbell, Barras, and Lepeauxấthe three virtuous Directors--Macbeth and the three Witches--the three Fatesthe three Graces~King Lear and his three Daughters-Derby Diligence-Catherine Wheel.-Catastrophe of Mr. Gingham, with his wife and three Daughters overturned in a one horse Chaise-Dislocation and Contusion two kindred FiendsMail Coaches-Exhortation to Drivers to be careful-Genius of the Post Office-Invention of Letters-Digamma-Double Letterg-remarkable Direction of one-Hippona, the Goddess of Hack-horses-Parameter and Abscissa unite to overpower the Ordinate, who retreats down the Axis Major, and forms himself in a Square-Isosceles, a Giant- Dr. Rhomboides, Fifth Proposition, or Asses' Bridge-Bridge of Ludi -Buonaparte-Raft and Windmills - Exhortation to the recovery of our Freedom-Conclusion.
STAY your rude steps, or e'er your feet invade The Muses' haunts, ye sons of War and Trade!