'Tis true, fay they, cut off the head,
And there's an end; the man is dead;
Because, among all human race,
None e'er was known to have a brace;
But confidently they maintain,

That where we find the members twain,
The lofs of one is no fuch trouble,
Since t'other will in ftrength be double.
The limb furviving, you may fwear,
Become's his brother's lawful heir.
Thus, for a trial let me beg of

Your Rev'rence but to cut one leg off;
And you fhall find by this device,
The other will be ftronger twice;
For ev'ry day you shall be gaining
New vigour to the leg remaining:
So, when an eye hath loft its brother,
You fee the better with the other:
Cut off your hand, and you may do
With t'other hand the work of two :
Because the foul her power contracts,
And on the brother-limb reacts.

But yet the point is not fo clear in
Another cafe, the fenfe of hearing;
For though the place of either ear
Be diftant as one head can bear;
Yet Galen moft acutely fhews you,
Confult his book de partiam ufu).
That from each ear, as he observes,
There crept two auditory nerves,
Not to be feen without a glafs,

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Which near the os petrofum país;

Thence to the neck; and moving thorough there

One goes to this, and one to t'other ear,

Which made my grand-dame always ftuff her ears,

Both right and left, as fellow sufferers.

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You fee my learning; but to shorten it,
When my left ear was deaf a fortnight,

Το

To t'other ear I felt it coming on:
And thus I folve this hard phenomenon.

'Tis true, a glafs will bring fupplies

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To weak, or old, or clouded eyes :

Your arms, though both your eyes were loft,

Would guard your nose against a post:

Without your legs, two legs of wood

Are stronger, and almoft as good:
And as for hands, there have been those,
Who wanting both, have us'd their toes *;
But no contrivance yet appears

To furnish artificial ears.

Nell fcolded in fo loud a din,

That Will durft hardly venture in ::
He mark'd the conjugal dispute;
Nell roar'd inceffant, Dick fat mute;
But when he faw his friend appear,
Cry'd bravely, patience, good my dear.
At fight of Will fhe bawl'd no more,
But hurry'd out, and clapp'd the door.

Why Dick! the devil's in thy Nell,
(Quoth Will), thy house is worse than hell:

foot,

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There was about this time a man fhewed, who wrote with his

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Why, what a peal the jade has rung!

Damn her, why don't you flit her tongue?
For nothing elfe will make it cease.

Dear Will, I fuffer this for peace:
I never quarrel with my wife;
I bear it for a quiet life,

Scripture, you know, exhorts us to it;
Bids us to feek peace, and enfue it.

Will went again to visit Dick;
And ent'ring in the very nick,
He faw virago Nell belabour,

With Dick's own ftaff, his peaceful neighbour: Poor Will who needs muft interpofe,

Receiv'd a brace or two of blows.

But now, to make my story fhort,

Will drew out Dick to take a quart.

Why, Dick, thy wife has dev'lish whims;
Odfbubs, why don't you break her limbs ?
If he were mine and had fuch tricks,
I'd teach her how to handle sticks :
Z-ds, I would fhip her to Jamaica,
Or truck the carrion for tobacco;
I'd fend her far enough away-

Dear Will; but what would people fay?
Lord! I fhould get fo ill a name,

The neighbours round would cry out, fhame.

Dick fuffer'd for his peace and credit;
But who believ'd him when he faid it?
Can he who makes himself a flave,
Confult his peace, or credit fave?
Dick found it by his ill fuccefs,
His quiet finall, his credit lefs.

She ferv'd him at the ufual rate?

She ftunn'd, and then the broke his pate.
And what he thought the hardest cafe,
The parish jeer'd him to his face;

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Thofe

Thofe men who wore the breeches least,
Call'd him a cuckold, fool, and beaft.
At home he was purfu'd with noife;
Abroad was pefter'd by the boys:
Within his wife would break his bones;
Without, they pelted him with ftones:
The 'prentices procur'd a riding
To act his patience, and her chiding.

*

Falfe patience and mistaken pride!
There are ten thoufand Dicks befide;
Slaves to their quiet and good name
Are us'd like Dick, and bear the blame.

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A riding, a humorous cavalcade fill practifed in fome parts of England, to ridicule a feolding wife and hen-pecked husband. A wo man beftrides the horfe, and with a ladle chaftifes a man,, who fits on a pillion behind her, with his face to the horse's tail,

[Some ingenious gentlemen, friends to the author, ufed to entertain themfelves with writing riddles, and fending them to him and their other acquaintance: copies of which ran about, and fome of them were printed both in England and Ireland. The author at his leifure-hours fell into the fame amufement: although it be faid, that he thought them of no great merit, entertainment, or ufe. However, by the advice of fome perfons, for whom the author had a great efteem, and who were pleafed to fend the copies, the few following have been publifhed, (which are allowed to be genuine); because we are informed that feveral good judges have a tafte for fuch kind of compofi

tions.

A

A RIDDLE.

Written in the year 1724

I.

IN youth exalted high in air,

Or bathing in the waters fair,
Nature to form me took delight,
And clad my body all in white:
My perfon tall and flender waste,
On either fide with fringes grace'd;
Till me that tyrant man espy'd,

And dragg'd me from my mother's fide ;
No wonder now I look fo thin;

The tyrant ftripp'd me to the skin :

My skin he flay'd, my hair he cropt;
At head and foot my body lopt:

And then with heart more hard than stone,,
He pick'd my marrow from the bone.
To vex me more, he took a freak
To flit my tongue, and make me speak ::
But that which wonderful appears,
I fpeak to eyes, and not to ears,
He oft employs me in disguise,

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And makes me tell a thousand lies ::
To me he chiefly gives in truft

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To please his malice, or his luft.
From me no fecret he can hide :
I fee his vanity and pride :
And my delight is to expofe
His follies to his greatest foes.

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All