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" And can ! then be faulty found
“In dreading this vexatious round?
Can it be itrange, if I eschew
“ A fcene fo glorious and so new?
« Or is he criuinal that flies
" The living luftre of your eyes?"

165

* A NEW SIMILE for the LADIES.

With useful ANNOTATIONS.

By Dr. SHERIDAN.

To make a writer miss his end,
You've nothing else to do but mend.

Written in the year 1731.

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I Often try'd in vain to find

A finile + for woman-kind,
A fimile I mean to fit 'em,
In ev'ry circumstance to hit I 'em.
Through ev'ry beast and bird I went,
I ransack'd ev'ry element;
And after peeping thro' all nature
To find so whimsical a creature,
A cloud presented * to my view,
And straight this parallel I drew.

10

Clouds turn with ev'ry wind about, They keep us in fufpenfe and doubt; Yet oft perverse, like woman-kind, Are feen to fcud against the wind :

† Mof ladies in reading call this word a smile ; but they are for we, it conlfis of three syllables, si-mi-le, In English, a likencts.

Nt to hurt them.
fut like a gun or pisol.

And

And are not women just the same ?
For who can tell at what they aim t?

15

Clouds keep the stouteft mortals under,
When bell'wing they discharge their thunder:
So when the alarum-bell is

rung,
Of Xanti's || everlasting tongue,
The husband dreads its loudness more,
Than light’ning's flash, or thunder's roar.

20

Clouds weep as they do, without pain, And what are tears but womens rain ?

+ This is not meant as to shooting, but resolving.

The word bellowing is not here to be understood of a bull; but a cloud, which makes a noise like a bull when it thunders.

| Xanti, a nickname for Xantippe, that scold of gloriolis memory, who never let poor Socrates have one moment's peace of mind; yet wi:h unexampled patience he bore her peftilential tongue. I shall beg the ladies pardon, if I insert a few palages concerning her; and at the same time I assure them, it is not 10 lesen ihose of the present age, who are possessed of the like laudable talents: for I will confeis, that I know three in the city of Dublin, no way inferior to Xantippe, but that they have rotas g: cat men to work upon.

When a friend asked Socrates, how he could bear the 'scolding of his wife Xantipe ? he jetorted, and asked him, how he couid bear the gaggling of his geefe ? Ay, bui my geese lay eggs for me, riplied his friend. So doth my wife bear children, said Socrates. Lig. Laert.

Being asked another time by a friend, how he could bear her tongue ? he said, she was of this use to him, that ft.e taught him to bear the impertinences of others with more ease when he went abroad. Plut. de capiend. ex hoft. uli.ir.

Socrates invited his friend Euthydemus to supper ; Xantippe in great rage went in to them, and overiet the table : Euihydemus rising in a pasiion to go off, my dear friend, tay, said Socrates ; did not a hen do the same thing at your house the other day, and did I Thew any relentment? Plui, de ira cekibinda.

Iculd give many more instances of her termagancy, and his philofophy, if such a proceeding might not look as if I were glad of an opportunity to expose the fair sex; but to thew I have no such design, I declare solemnly, that I had much worse stories to tell of her teha. viour to her husband; which I rather pafled over, on account of ine great efteem which I bear the lad.es, especially those in the horour. able station of matrimony,

The

The clouds about the welkin roam And ladies never stay at home.

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The clouds build castles in the air,
A thing peculiar to the fair ;
For all the schemes of their forecasting t
Are not more folid, nor more lafting.

30

35

A cloud is light, by turns, and dark;
Such is a lady with her spark ;
Now with a sudden pouting # gloom
She seems to darken all the room ;
Again she's pleas'd, his fears beguil'd ,
And all is clear when she has smil'd.
In this they're wondrously alike,
(I hope the fimile will strike **),
Tho' in the darkest dumps tt you view 'em,
Stay but a moment, you'll see thro' 'em.

40

The clouds are apt to make reflection 11,
And frequently produce infection;
So Calia with small provocation
Blafts ev'ry neighbour's reputation.

45

The clouds delight in gaudy show, For they, like ladies, have their beau ; The graveft matron * will confefs, That she herself is fond of dress.

# Ramble.
+ Not vomiting.
I Thrusting out the lip.

This is to re underliood, not in the sense of wort, when brewers put yeast or barm in it; but iis true meaning is, deceived or cheated,

** Hit your fancy,

++ Sullen fi:s. We have a merry jigg called Dumptey Deary, invented to rouse ladies froin the dumps.

11 Reflection of the sun. * Morherly women.

Observe

so

Observe the clouds in pomp array'd,
What various colours are display'd,
The pink, the rose, the vi'lets dye,
In that great drawing-room, the sky;
How do these differ from our graces +
In garden-filks, brocades, and laces ?
Are they not such another sight,

55 When met upon a birthday-night?

The clouds delight to change their fashion :
Dear ladies, be not in a passion,
Nor let this whimn to you seem strange,
Who ev'ry hour delight in change.

60

In them and you alike are seen
The fullen symptoms of the spleen;
The moment that your vapours rise,
We see them dropping from your eyes.

65

In evening fair you may behold
The clouds are fringed with borrow'd gold ;
And this is many a lady's case,
Who flaunts about in borrow'd lace t.

Grave matrons are like clouds of snow, Their words fall thick, and swift, and flow; While brisk coquettes ll, like rattling hail, Our ears on ev'ry side affail.

70

Clouds, when they intercept our sight, Deprive us of celestial light :

† Not grace before and after meat, nor their graces the duchefses; but the graces which atien ed on Venus.

| Not Flanders Jace, but gold and silver lace. By borrowed, is m.ant such as run in honest tradesmens deb:s for what they were nt able to pay, as many of them did for French filver lace against the laft birthday.

|| Girls who love to hear themselves prate, and put on a numb.r of inonkey-airs to catch men. Vol. VIIJ.

X

So

So when my Chloe I pursue,
No heav'n besides I have in view.

75

Thus, on comparison *, you see,
In ev'ry instance they agree,
So like, so very much the same,
That one may go by t'other's name.
Let me proclaim t it then aloud,
That ev'ry woman is a cloud.

80

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An ANSWER to a scandalous Poem, where

in the author most audaciously presumes to caft an indignity upon their Highnesses the Clouds, by comparing them to a Wo

MAN.

Written by Dermot O-NEPHELEY, Chief Cap

of Howth I.

Written in the Year 1733.

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PResumptuous bard! how could you dare

A woman with a cloud compare ?
Strange pride and infolence you show,
Inferior mortals there below.
And is our thunder in your ears
So frequent or so loud as theirs ?
Alas! our thunder foon goes out ;
And only makes you more devout.
Then is not female clatter worse,
That drives you not to pray, but curse?

10

* I hope none will be . uncomplaisant to the ladies, as to think th fe comparis ins odious.

+ Telliit to the whole world, not to proclaim them as robbers and Tapparees. İ The highest point of Howth is callel the Cape of Honth.

We

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