"And can I then be faulty found
"In dreading this vexatious round?
"Can it be ftrange, if I efchew
"A fcene fo glorious and fo new?
"Or is he criminal that flies
"The living luftre of your eyes ?"

165

I

* A NEW SIMILE for the LADIES.

With ufeful ANNOTATIONS.

By Dr. SHERIDAN.

To make a writer mifs his end,
You've nothing else to do but mend.

Written in the year 1731.

Often try'd in vain to find
A fimile + for woman-kind,

A fimile I mean to fit 'em,

In ev'ry circumftance to hit ‡ 'em.
Through ev'ry beast and bird I went,
I ranfack'd ev'ry element;

And after peeping thro' all nature
To find fo whimsical a creature,
A cloud prefented to my view,
And straight this parallel I drew.

*

Clouds turn with ev'ry wind about, They keep us in fufpenfe and doubt; Yet oft perverfe, like woman-kind,. Are feen to feud against the wind:

Moft ladies in reading call this word a fmile; but they are fo sote, it confifis of three fyllables, fi-mi-le. In English, a likencfs,

Nt to hurt them.

Not like a gun or piftol.

And

And are not women juft the fame ?
For who can tell at what they aim †?

Clouds keep the ftouteft mortals under,
When bell wing ‡ they discharge their thunder:
So when the alarum-bell is rung,

Of Xanti's everlafting tongue,

The hufband dreads its loudness more,
Than light'ning's flafh, or thunder's roar.

Clouds weep as they do, without pain,
And what are tears but womens rain?

This is not meant as to fhooting, but refolving.

15

20

The word bellowing is not here to be understood of a bull; but a cloud, which makes a noife like a bull when it thunders.

Xanti, a nickname for Xantippe, that fcold of glorious memory, who never let poor Socrates have one moment's peace of mind; yet with unexampled patience he bore her peftilential tongue. I fhall beg the ladies pardon, if I infert a few paffages concerning her; and at the fame time I affure them, it is not to lefien thofe of the prefent age, who are poffeffed of the like laudable talents: for I will confefs, that I know three in the city of Dublin, no way inferior to Xantippe, bu: that they have not as great men to work upon.

When a friend afked Socrates, how he could bear the fcolding of his wife Xantippe? he retorted, and asked him, how he could bear the gaggling of his gerfe? Ay, but my geefe lay eggs for me, replied his friend. So doth my wife bear children, faid Socrates. Lig. Laert.

Being asked another time by a friend, how he could bear her tongue? he faid, fhe was of this ufe to him, that fe taught him to bear the impertinences of others with more eafe when he went abroad. Plut. de capiend. cx boft. uti.it.

Socrates invited his friend Euthydemus to fupper; Xantippe in great rage went in to them, and overfet the table: Euthydemus rifing in a paffion to go off, my dear friend, fay, faid Socrates; did not a hen do the fame thing at your houfe the other day, and did I fhew any refentment? Plut, de ira cekibenda.

I could give many more inftances of her termagancy, and his philofophy, if fuch a proceeding might not look as if I were glad of an opportunity to expofe the fair fex; but to fhew I have no fuch defign, I declare folemnly, that I had much worfe ftories to tell of her teha. viour to her husband; which I rather paffed over, on account of the great efteem which I bear the ladies, especially thofe in the honourable station of matrimony.

The

The clouds about the welkin roam And ladies never stay at home.

The clouds build caftles in the air,
A thing peculiar to the fair;

For all the fchemes of their forecasting t
Are not more folid, nor more lasting.

A cloud is light, by turns, and dark;
Such is a lady with her fpark;
Now with a fudden pouting ‡ gloom
She feems to darken all the room;
Again fhe's pleas'd, his fears beguil'd,
And all is clear when she has smil'd.
In this they're wondrously alike,
(I hope the fimile will strike **),

Tho' in the darkest dumps †† you view 'em,
Stay but a moment, you'll fee thro' 'em.

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30

35

The clouds are apt to make reflection ‡‡,
And frequently produce infection;
So Calia with fmall provocation
Blafts ev'ry neighbour's reputation.

40

The clouds delight in gaudy fhow, For they, like ladies, have their beau;

45

The graveft matron * will confefs,
That the herself is fond of drefs.

Ramble.

+ Not vomiting.

Thrusting out the lip.

This is to be underfood, not in the fenfe of wort, when brewers put yeaft or barm in it; but its true meaning is, deceived or cheated. **Hit your fancy.

tt Sullen fits. We have a merry jigg called Dumptey Deary, invented to roufe ladies from the dumps.

1 Reflection of the fun.

Motherly women.

Obferve the clouds in pomp array'd,
What various colours are difplay'd,
The pink, the rose, the vi'lets dye,
In that great drawing-room, the fky ;
How do thefe differ from our graces †
In garden-filks, brocades, and laces?
Are they not fuch another fight,
When met upon a birthday-night?

The clouds delight to change their fashion :

Nor let this whim to you feem ftrange,

Dear ladies, be not in a paffion,

Who ev'ry hour delight in change.

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55

60

In them and you alike are seen
The fullen fymptoms of the spleen;
The moment that your vapours rise,
We fee them dropping from your eyes.

Their words fall thick, and fwift, and flow;

70

While brifk coquettes, like rattling hail,
Our ears on ev'ry fide affail.

Clouds, when they intercept our fight, Deprive us of celestial light:

+ Not grace before and after meat, nor their graces the ducheffes; but the graces which attended on Venus.

Not Flanders lace, but gold and filver lace. By borrowed, is m.ant fuch as run in honeft tradefmens deb:s for what they were n t able to pay, as many of them did for French filver lace against the laft birthday.

Girls who love to hear themselves prate, and put on a numb.r of monkey-airs to catch men.

So when my Chloe I purfue,
No heav'n besides I have in view.

Thus, on comparison *, you see,
In ev'ry inftance they agree,

So like, fo very much the fame,
That one may go by t'other's name.
Let me proclaim † it then aloud,
That ev'ry woman is a cloud.

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An ANSWER to a fcandalous POEM, wherein the author most audaciously prefumes to cast an indignity upon their Highnesses the CLOUDS, by comparing them to a Wo

MAN.

Written by DERMOT O-NEPHELEY, Chief Cap of Howth I.

Written in the Year 1733.

PRefumptuous bard! how could you dare
A woman with a cloud compare?
Strange pride and infolence you show,
Inferior mortals there below.
And is our thunder in your ears
So frequent or fo loud as theirs?
Alas! our thunder foon goes out ;
And only makes you more devout.
Then is not female clatter worse,
That drives you not to pray, but curfe?

*I hope none will be funcomplaifant to the ladies, as to think thefe comparif ns odious.

Tell it to the whole world, not to proclaim them as robbers and rapparees.

The highest point of Howth is called the Cape of Howth.

We