The PLACE of the DAMNED.

Written in the year 1731.

ALL folks, who pretend to religion and grace,
Allow there's a HELL, but difpute of the place:
But if HELL may by logical rules be defin'd
The place of the damn'd- -I'll tell you my mind.
Wherever the damn'd 'do chiefly abound,

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Moft certainly there is HELL to be found: Damn'd poets, damn'd critics, damn'd blockheads, damn'd knaves,

Damn'd fenators brib'd, damn'd prostitute flaves; Damn'd lawyers and judges, damn'd lords, and damn'd fquires;

Damn'd fpies and informers, damn'd friends, and damn'd liars;

Damn'd villains, corrupted in every station;
Damn'd time-serving priests all over the nation.
And into the bargain I'll readily give ye

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Damn'd ignorant prelates, and counsellors privy.
Then let us no longer by parfons be flamm'd,
For we know by thefe marks the place of the

damn'd:

And Hell to be fure is at Paris or Rome.
How happy for us, that it is not at home!

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JUDA S.

Written in the year 1731.

BY the juft vengeance of incensed skies
Poor Bishop Judas late reprenting dies.

VOL. VIII.

R

The

The Jews engage'd him with a paltry bribe,
Amounting hardly to a crown a tribe;

ΙΟ

Which tho' his confcience force'd him to restore, 5
(And parfons tell us, no man can do more),
Yet, through defpair, of God and man accurft,
He loft his bishoprick, and hang'd or burst.
Thofe former ages differ'd much from this;
Judas betray'd his mafter with a kiss:
But fome have kifs'd the gospel fifty times,
Who's perjury's the leaft of all their crimes :
Some who can perjure thro' a two-inch board,
Yet keep their bithoprics, and 'scape the cord.
Like hemp, which, by a fkilful spinfter drawn
To flender threads, may fometimes pafs for lawn.

As ancient Judas by tranfgreffion fell,
And burft afunder ere he went to hell;
So could we fee a fet of new Ifcariots

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Come headlong tumbling from their mitred chariots;
Each modern Judas perifh like the first;
Drop from the tree with all his bowels burft;
Who could forbear, that view'd each guilty face,
To cry, "Lo Judas gone to his own place;
His habitation let all men forfake,

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"And let his bishoprick another take?"

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On Mr. PULTNEY being put out of the council.

Written in the year 1731.

IR Robert * weary'd by Will Pultney's teafings, Who interrupted him in all his leafings, Refolved that Will and he should meet no more; Full in his face Bob fhuts the council door;

* Sir Robert Walpole.

Nor

Nor lets him fit as juftice on the bench
To punish thieves, or lafh a fuburb wench.
Yet ftill St. Stephen's chapel open lies
For Will to enter-what fhall I advife?

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E'en quit the HOUSE, for thou too long haft fat in't,

Produce at laft thy dormant ducal patent;

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There, near thy mafter's throne in fhelter place'd,
Let Will unheard by thee his thunder wafte.
Yet ftill I fear your work is done but half:
For while he keeps his pen, you are not safe.

Here an old fable, and a dull one too; Yet bears a moral, when apply'd to you.

A hare had long efcap'd purfuing hounds,
By often fhifting into diftant grounds;
Till finding all his artifices vain,
To fave his life he leap'd into the main.
But there, alas! he could no fafety find,
A pack of dog-fifh had him in the wind.
He fcours away, and to avoid the foe
Defcends for fhelter to the fhades below.
There Cerberus lay watching in his den;
(He had not feen a hare the Lord knows when);
Out bounce'd the maftiff of the triple head;
Away the hare with double fwiftnefs fled.
Hunted from earth, and fea, and hell, he flies
(Fear lent him wings) for fafety to the fkies.
How was the fearful animal distrest!
Behold a foe more fierce than all the rest:
Syrius, the fwifteft of the heavenly pack,
Fail'd but an inch to feize him by the back.
He fled to earth, but first it coft him dear;
He left his fcut behind, and half an ear.

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Thus was the hare pursu'd, thɔ' free from guilt; Thus, Bob, fhalt thou be maul'd, fly where thou wilt: Then, honeft Robin, of thy corpfe beware; Thou art not half so nimble as a hare:

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40 Too

Too pond'rous is thy bulk to mount the sky;
Nor can you go to hell, before you die.

So keen thy hunters, and thy fcent fo ftrong,
Thy turns and doublings cannot fave thee long.*

The author having been told by an intimate friend, that the Duke of Queensberry had employed Mr. Gay to infpect the accounts and management of his Grace's receivers and stewards, (which however proved afterwards to be a mistake), writ to Mr. Gay the following poem,

In the year 1731.

"OW could you, Gay, difgrace the mufes train, To ferve a taftelefs court twelve years in vaint! Fain would I think our female friend + fincere, Till Bob, the poet's foe, poffefs'd her ear. Did female virtue e'er fo high afcend, To lofe an inch of favour for a friend?

Say, had the court no better place to chufe
For thee, than make a dry-nurfe of thy mufe!
How cheaply had thy liberty been fold,
To 'fquire a royal girl of two years old;
In leading-ftrings her infant fteps to guide,
Or with her go-cart amble fide by fide!

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This hunting ended in the promotion both of Will and Bǝb. Bob was no longer first minister, but Earl of Oxford; and Will was no longer his opponent, but Earl of Bath.

See the libel on Dr. Delany and Lord Carteret, in this volume.
Mrs. Howard, fince Countefs of Suffolk.

But

But princely Douglas *, and his glorious dame,
Advance'd thy fortune, and preferv'd thy fame.
Nor will your nobler gifts be mifapply'd,

When o'er your patron's treasure you prefide:
The world fhall own his choice was wife and juft,
For fons of Phoebus never break their truft.

Not love of beauty lefs the heart inflames
Of guardian eunuchs to the Sultan's dames;
Their paffions not more impotent and cold,
Than thofe of poets to the luft of gold.
With Pæan's pureft fire his fav'rites glow,
The dregs will ferve to ripen ore below;
His meaneft work: for had he thought it fit,
That wealth fhould be the appendage of wit,
The god of light could ne'er have been fo blind
To deal it to the worst of human-kind.

But let me now, for I can do it well, Your conduct in this new employ foretell.

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And first: To make my obfervation right, I place a ftatefman full before my fight, A bloated minifter in all his geer, With shameless vifage, and perfidious leer; Two rows of teeth arm each devouring jaw; And, oftrich-like, his all-digefting maw. My fancy drags this monster to my view, To fhew the world his chief reverse in you. Of loud unmeaning founds a rapid flood Rolls from his mouth in plenteous ftreams of mud; With these the court and fenate-house he plies, 41 Made up of noife, and impudence, and lies.

Now let me fhew how Bob and you agree, You ferve a potent prince †, as well as he.

The Duke of Queensberry.

A title given to dukes by the heralds.