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ALL folks, who pretend to religion and grace,

Allow there's a HELL, but difpute of the place: But if Hell may by logical rulcs be defin'd The place of the damn'd—I'll tell you my mind.

Wherever the damn'd'do chiefly abound, 5 Most certainly there is Hell to be found: Damn'd poets, damn'd critics, damn'd blockheads,

damn'd knaves, Damn’d senators brib’d, damn'd prostitute slaves ; Damn'd lawyers and judges, damn'd lords, and

damn'd squires; Damn'd spies and informers, damn'd friends, and

damn'd liars ; Damn'd villains, corrupted in every station; Damn'd time-ferving priests all over the nation. And into the bargain I'll readily give ye Damn’d ignorant prelates, and counsellors privy. Then let us no longer by parsons be flamm'd, 15 For we know by these marks the place of the

damn'd : And Hell to be sure is at Paris or Rome. How happy for us, that it is not at home!



Written in the year 1731.

Y the juft vengeance of incensed skies

Poor Bishop Judas late repreoting dies.
Vol. VIII.



The Jews engage'd him with a paltry bribe,
Amounting hardly to a crown a tribe ;
Which tho’his conscience force'd him to restore, 5
(And parsons tell us, no nan can do more),
Yet, through despair, of God and man accurft,
He lost his bithoprick, and hang'd or burst.
Those former ages differ'd much from this ;
Judas betray'd his master with a kiss:
But some have kiss’d the gospel fifty times,
Who's perjury's the least of all their crimes :
Sone who can perjure thro'a two-inch board,
Yet keep their bithoprics, and 'scape the cord.
Like hemp, which, by a skilful spinster drawn 15
To flender threads, may sometimes pass for lawn.


As ancient Judas by transgreffion fell, And burst asunder ere he went to hell; So could we see a set of new Iscariots Come headlong tumbling from their mitred chariots; Each modern Judas perish like the first;

21 Drop from the tree with all his bowels burst; Who could forbear, that view'd each guilty face, To cry, Lo Judas gone to his own place; " His habitation let all men forsake,

25 “ And let his bishoprick another take?”

On Mr. PULTNEY being put out of the


Written in the year 1731.

IR Robert * weary'd by Will Pultney's teasings,

Refolved that Will and he should meet no more : Full in his face Bob fhuts the council door ;

* Sir Robert Walpole,


Nor lets him fit as justice on the bench

5 To punish thieves, or lash a fuburb wench. Yet itill St. Stephen's chapel open lies For Will 10 enter-what shall I advise ? E'en quit the House, for thou too long hast fat

in't, Produce at last thy dormant ducal patent ; There, near thy master's throne in shelter place’d, Let Will unheard by thee his ihunder waste. Yet still I fear your work is done but half: For while he keeps his pen, you are not safe.


Here an old fable, and a dull one too; Yet bears a moral, when apply'd to you.


A hare had long escap'd pursuing hounds,
By often shifting into diftant grounds;
Till finding all his artifices vain,
To save his life he leap'd into the main.

But there, alas! he could no safety find,
A pack of dog-fith had him in the wind.
He scours away, and to avoid the foe
Defcends for shelter to the shades below.
There Cerberus lay watching in his den;

25 (He had not seen a hare the Lord knows when); Out bounce'd the mastiff of the triple head; Away the hare with double swiftness fled. Ilunted from earth, and fea, and hell, he flies (Fear lent him wings) for safety to the tkies. 30 How was the fearful animal distrest! Behold a foe more fierce than all the rest : Syrius, the swiftest of the heavenly pack, Fail'd but an inch to seize him by the back. He fled to earth, but first it cost him dear; 35 He left his scur behind, and half an ear.

Thus was the hare pursu’d, tho’ free from guilt; Thus, Bob, shalt thou be mauld, fly where thou wilt: Then, honest Robin, of thy corpse beware; Thou art not half so nimble as a hare:

40 Too,


Too pond'rous is thy bulk to mount the sky;
Nor can you go to hell, before you die.
So keen thy hunters, and thy scent so strong,
Thy turns and doublings cannot save thee long.*

The author having been told by an intimate

friend, that the Duke of Queensberry had employed Mr. Gay to inspect the accounts and management of his Grace's receivers and stewards, (which however proved afterwards to be a mistake), writ to Mr. Gay the following poem,

In the year 1731.

How could you, Gay, difgrace the muses train,

To serve a tasteless court twelve years in vaint! Fain would I think our female friend I fincere, Till Bob, the poet's foe, poffefs'd her ear. Did female virtue e'er so high afcend,

5 To lose an inch of favour for a friend?

Say, had the court no better place to chuse
For thee, than make a dry-nurse of thy mufe !
How cheaply had thy liberty been fold,
To ’lquire a royal girl of two years old ;
In leading-strings her infant steps to guide,
Or with her go-cart amble side by fide!


* This hunting ended in the promotion both of Will and Bub. Bob was no longer first minister, but Eiri of Oxford ; and. Will was no longer his opponen', but Earl of Bath.

+ See the libel on Delany and Lord Carteret, in this volume. | Mrs. Howard, since Counters of Suffolk.


But princely Douglas *, and his glorious dame, Advance'd thy fortune, and preferv'd thy fame. Nor will your nobler gifts be misapply'd, 15 When o'er your patron's treasure you preside : The world shall own his choice was wife and juft, For fons of Phoebus never break their trust.


Not love of beauty less the heart inflames
Of guardian eunuchs to the Sultan's dames ;
Their passions not more impotent and cold,
Than those of poets to the luft of gold.
With Pæan's purest fire his fav'rites glow,
The dregs will serve to ripen ore below;
His meanest work : for had he thought it fit,
That wealth should be the appendage of wit,
The god of light could ne'er have been so blind -
To deal it to the worst of human-kind. -


But let me now, for I can do it well, Your conduct in this new employ foretell.


And first: To make


obfervation right, I place a starefman full before my fight, A bloated minister in all his geer, With shameless visage, and pertidious leer; Two rows of teeth arm each devouring jaw; 35 And, ostrich-like, his all-digesting maw. My fancy drags this monster to my view, To shew the world his chief reverse in you. Of loud unmeaning sounds a rapid flood Rolls from his mouth in plenteous streams of mud;; With these the court and senate-house he plies, 41 a Made

up. of noise, and impudence, and lies. Now let me shew how Bob and you agree, You serve a potent prince t; as well as he.

The Dnke of Queensberry.
+ A title given to dukes by the heralds,

R 3


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