And as he fill'd the reeking vafe,
Let fly a roufer in her face.
The little Cupids hov'ring round,
(As pictures prove), with garlands crown'd, Abafh'd at what they faw and heard,
Flew off, nor ever more appear'd.
Adieu to ravishing delights,
High raptures, and romantic flights;
To goddeffes fo heav'nly fweet,
Expiring fhepherds at their feet;
To filver meads and fhady bow'rs,
Drefs'd up with amaranthine flow'rs.
How great a change! how quickly made!
They learn to call a fpade a fpade.
They foon from all constraint are freed';
Can fee each other do their need.
On box of cedar fits the wife,
And makes it warm for dearest life ;
And, by the beaftly way of thinking,
Find great fociety in stinking.
Now Strephon daily entertains
His Chloe in the homeli'ft ftrains ;
And Chloe, more experience'd grown,
With int'reft pays him back his own.
No maid at court is lefs afham'd
Howe'er for felling bargains fam'd.
Than fhe, to name her parts behind,
Or when abed to let out wind.
Fair Decency, celeftial maid,
Defcend from heav'n to beauty's aid;
Though Beauty may beget defire,
"Tis thou must fan the lover's fire;
For Beauty like fupreme dominion,
Is beft fupported by Opinion:
If Decency bring no fupplies,
Opinion falls, and Beauty dies.
To fee fome radient nymph appear
In all her glitt❜ring birth-day gear,
You think fome goddefs from the sky
Defcended, ready cut and dry:
But ere you fell yourself to laughter,
Confider well what may come after;
For fine ideas vanish fast,
- While all the grofs and filthy laft.
O Strephon, ere that fatal day When Chloe ftole your heart away, Had you but through a cranny spy'd On house of eafe your future bride, In all the postures of her face,
Which nature gives in fuch a cafe;
Distortions, groanings, ftrainings, heavings,
'Twere better you had lick'd her leavings,
Than from experience find too late
Your goddess grown a filthy mate.
Your fancy then had always dwelt
On what you faw, and what you fmelt;
Would still the fame ideas give ye,
As when you spy'd her on the privy.
And, 'fpite of Chloe's charms divine,
Your heart had been as whole as mine.
Authorities, both old and recent,
Direct that women must be decent;
And from the spouse each blemish hide,
More than from all the world befide *.
*If virtue, as fume writers pretend, be that which produces hap pinefs, it must be granted that to practife decency is a moral obligati. on; and if virtue confifts in obedience to a law, as the nuptial laws injoin both parties to avoid offence, decency will still be duty, and the breach of it will incur fome degree of guilt.
Unjuftly all our nymphs complain
Their empire holds fo thort a reign;
Is after marriage loft fo foon,
It hardly holds the honey-moon:
For if they keep not what they caught,
It is entirely their own fault.
They take poffeffion of the crown,
And then throw all their weapons
Though, by the politicians fcheme,
Whoe'er arrives at pow'r fupreme,
Thofe arts by which at firft they gain it,
They ftill must practise to maintain it..
What various ways our females take
To pafs for wits before a rake?
And in the fruitlefs fearch purfue
All other methods but the true.
Some try to learn polite behaviour
By reading books against their Saviour:
Some call it witty to reflect
Some fhew they never want explaining
To comprehend a double meaning.
But fure a tell-tale out of fchool
Is of all wits the greateft fool:
Whofe rank imagination fills
Her heart, and from her lips diftils;
You'd think fhe utter'd from behind,
Or at her mouth was breaking wind.
Why is a handsome wife ador'd
Ry ev'ry coxcomb but her lord?
From yonder puppet-man inquire,
Who wifely hides his wood and wire;
Shew's Sheba's queen completely dreft,
And Solomon in royal veft ;
But view them litter'd on the floor,
ftrung on pegs behind the door;
Punch is exactly of a piece
With Lorrain's Duke, and Prince of Greece *.
A prudent builder fhould forecast
How long the ftuff is like to last ;
And carefully obferve the ground
To build on fome fonndation found:
What houfe, when its materials crumble,
Muft not inevitably tumble ?
What edifice can long endure
Rais'd on a bafis unfecure?
Rafh mortals, ere you take a wife,
Contrive your pile to laft for life:
Since beauty fcarce endures a day,
And youth fo fwiftly glides away;
Why will you make yourfelf a bubble,
To build on fand with hay and stubble?
On fenfe and wit your paffion found,
By decency cemented round;
Let prudence with good nature strive
To keep efteem and love alive.
Then come old age whene'er it will,
Your friendship shall continue still:
And thus a mutual gentle fire
Shall never but with life expire.
APOLLO; or, A PROBLEM folved.
Written in the year 1731.
Pollo, god of light and wit,
Could verfe infpire, but seldom writ;
* For the fame reafon many an handfome wife is neglected for an homely mistress, who better knows her intereft, and confiders love as her trade.
Refin'd all metals with his looks,
As well as chymifts by their books:
As handfome as my lady's page;
Sweet five and twenty was his age.
His wig was made of funny rays,
He crown'd his youthful head with bays:
Not all the court of heav'n could fhow
So nice and fo complete a beau.
No heir upon his first appearance,
With twenty-thoufand pounds a-year rents,
E'er drove, before he fold his land,
So fine a coach along the ftrand;
The fpokes, we are by Ovid told,
Were filver, and the axle gold.
(I own, 'twas but a coach and four,
For Jupiter allows no more).
Yet with his beauty, wealth, and parts,
Enough to win ten thousand hearts,
No vulgar deity above
Was fo unfortunate in love.
Three weighty caufes were affign'd,
That mov'd the nymphs to be unkind.
Nine mufes always waiting round him,
He left them virgins as he found 'em.
His finging was another fault;
For he could reach to B in alt:
And, by the fentiments of Pliny,
Such fingers are like Nicolini *.
At laft the point was fully clear'd:
In fhort Apollo had no beard.
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