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F neither brass nor marble can withstand
The mortal force of Time's destructive hand;
If mountains fink to vales, if cities die,
And less'ning rivers mourn their fountains dry:
When my old caftock' (faid a Welsh divine)
Is out at elbows, why should I repine ?
The REVOLUTION at MARKET-HILL,
Written in the year 173).
FRom diftant regions Fortune fends
An odd triumvirate of friends;
Where Phæbus pays a scanty ftipend,
Where never yet a codling ripen'd:
Hither the frantic goddess draws
Three fuff'rers in a ruin'd cause :
By faction banith'd here unite,
A Dean *, a Spaniard t, and a Knight ;
Unite, but on conditions cruel ;
The Dean and Spaniard find it too well:
Condemn'd to live in service hard ;
On either side his Honour's guard,
* Scarron hath written a larger poem on the same subject.
* The au' hor.
+ Col. Harry L:Nie, who served and lived long in Spain.
| Sir Arthur Acheson,
The Dean to guard his honour's back,
Must build a castle at Drumlack || ;
The Spaniard, fore against his will,
Must raise a fort at Market-hill,
And thus the pair of humble gentry
At north and south are pofted centry;
While in this lordly castle fixt
The knight triumphant reigns betwixt :
And what the wretches most resent,
To be his flaves must
Attend him daily as their chief,
Decant his wine, and carve his beef.
Oh, Fortune! 'tis a scandal for thee
To finile on those who are least worthy :
Weigh but the merits of the three,
His Naves have ten times more than he.
Proud Baronet of Nova Scotia !
The Dean and Spaniard muit reproach ye :
Of their two fames the world enough rings;
Where are thy services and suff’rings?
What if for nothing once you kift,
Against the grain, a monarch's fift?
What if among the courtly tribe
You loft a place, and fav'd a bribe?
And then in surly mood came here
To fifteen hundred pounds a-year,
And fierce against the Whigs harangu'd ?
You never ventur’d to be hang’d.
How dare you treat your betters thus ?
Are you to be campar'd with us?
Come, Spaniard, let us from our farms
Call forth our cottagers to arms ;
# The Irish name of a farm the Dean took, and was to build on, , but changed his mind. He called it Drapier's Hill, Vide the poum so called, p. 132.
Our forces let us both unite,
Attack the foe at left and right.
From Market-hill's exalted head,
Full northward let your troops be led ;
While I from Drapier's mount descend,
And to the south my squadronis bend.
New-river walk with friendly shade
Shall keep my hoft in ambuscade ;
While you, from where the bafon stands,
Shall scale the rampart with your bands.
Nor need we doubt the fort to win ;
I hold intelligence within.
True, Lady Anne no danger fears,
Brave as the Upton fan fhe wears ;
Then left upon our first attack
Her valiant arm should force us back,
And we of all our hopes depriv'd;
I have a stratagem contriv’d.
By these embroider'd high-heel'd shoes
She shall be caught as in a noose ;
So well contriv'd her toes to pinch,
She'll not have power to stir an inch :
These gaudy shoes must Hannah * place
Direct before her Lady's place ;
The Thoes put on our faithful port'ress
Admits us in to storm the fort'refs ;
While tortur'd Madam bound remains,
Like Montezume in golden chains,
Or like a cat with walnuts shod,
Stumbling at ev'ry step she trod.
Sly hunters thus, in Borneo's isle,
To catch a monkey by a wile,
The mimic animal amuse;
They place before him gloves and fhoes;
Which when the brute puts awkward on,
All his agility is gone :
* My Lady's waiting maid.
In vain to frisk or climb he tries;
The huntsmen seize the grinning prize.
But let us, on our first affault,
Secure the larder and the vault :
The valiant Dennis * you must fix on,
And I'll engage with Peggy Dixont;
Then if we once can seize the key
And cheft, that keeps my Lady's tea,
They must surrender at discretion :
And soon as we have gain'd poffeffion,
We'll act as other conq’rors do,
Divide the realm between us two :
Then (let me see) we'll make the Knight
Our clerk, for he can read and write;
But must not think, I tell him that,.
Like Lorimer I to wear his hat;
Yet, when we dine without a friend,
We'll place him at the lower end.
Madam, whose skill does all in dress lie;
May serve to wait on Mrs. Leslie;
But left it might not be so proper,
That her own maid thould overtop her ;.
To mortify the creature more,
We'll take her heels five inches low'r..
For Hannah, when we have no need of her, og 'Twill be our int’rest to get rid of her:. And when we execute our plot, 'Tis best to hang her on the spot; As all your politicians wife Dispatch the rogues on whom they rise. II
Tom. SAY, Robin, what can Traulus mean
By bell’wing thus against the Dean?
Why does he call him paltry fcribbler,
Papist, and Jacobite, and lib'ler ?
Yet cannot prove a single fact?
Robin. Forgive him, Tom, his head is crackt.
Tom. What mischief can the Dean have done him, That Traulus calls for vengeance on him? Why must he sputter, spawl, and slaver it In vain against the people’s fav’rite ?
IO Revile that nation-saving paper, Which gave the Dean the name of Draper?
Robin. Why, Tom, I think the case is plain, Party and spleen have turn'd his brain.
Tom. Such friendship never man profess’d,
The Dean was never so caress’d;
For Traulus long has rancour nurst,
Till, God knows why, at last it burst.
That clumsy outside of a porter,
How could it thus conceal a courtier?
Robin. I own, appearances are bad; Yet still insist the man is mad.