XI. If maidens are ravish'd, it is their own choice; Nor would there be need of a ftrong hempen cape 65 Our church and our ftate dear England maintains, For which all true Proteftants hearts fhould be glad; She fends us our bishops, and judges and deans; And better would give us, if better fhe had, 70 But, Lord, how the rabble will ftare and will gape, When the good English Dean is hang'd up for a rape! の Fly The LADY'S Dreffing-room Written in the year 1730. Ive hours (and who can do it lefs in ?)* By haughty Cælia spent in dreffing; The goddefs from her chamber iffues, Array'd in lace, brocades, and tiffues, Strephon, who found the room was void, And Betty otherwise employ'd, 5 No charge has been more frequently brought against the Dean, or indeed more generally admitted, than that of coarfe indelicacy, of which this poem is always produced as an inftance. Here then it is but juftice to remark, that whenever he offends against delicacy, he teaches it; he ftimulates the mind to fenfibility, to correct the faults of habitual negligence; as physicians, to cure a lethargy, have recourfe to a blifter. And though it may reasonably be fuppofed, that few English ladies leave fuch a dreffing-room as Cælia's, yet many may have given fufficient caufe for reminding them, that very foon after defire has been gratified, the utmost delicacy becomes neceffary to prevent disgust, Stole Stole in, and took a strict survey Whereof, to make the matter clear, And, first, a dirty fmock appear❜d, Now liften, while he next produces Sweat, dandriff, powder, lead, and hair. To fmooth the wrinkles on her front: 10 15 20 25 Bequeath'd by Tripfey when the dy'd 30 With puppy-water, beauty's help, Diftill'd from Tripfey's darling whelp. Here galley-pots and vials place'd, Some fill'd with wafhes, fome with paste; Some with pomatums, paints and flops, 35 And ointments good for fcabby chops, Hard by a filthy bafon ftands, Foul'd with the fcouring of her hands; 40 But But oh! it turn'd poor Strephon's bowels, t 45 50 55 The virtues we must not let pass Of Cælia's magnifying glass; 60 When frighted Strephon caft his eye on't, It fhew'd the vifage of a giant : A glafs that can to fight difclofe 65 The fmalleft worm in Celia's nofe, Why, Strephon, will you tell the rest ; VOL. VIII. N Which Strephon ventur'd to look in, As from within Pandora's box, When Epimetheus ope'd the locks, 85 Of human evils upward flew ; O! ne'er fuch a vile machine O! may the better learn to keep As mutton cutlets, prime of meat †, And roaft them at the clearest fire; * Milton. + Primo virorum. I Vid. Don D's works, and N. Py's. 90 95 100 105 ΠΙΟ Sen Send up an excremental fmell, To taint the parts from whence they fell; And waft a ftink round ev'ry room. Thus finishing his grand furvey, The fwain difgufted flunk away; Repeating in his am'rous fits, "Oh! Cælia, Cælia, Calia fh." But vengeance, goddefs never fleeping, Each dame he fees with all her ftinks; I pity wretched Strephon, blind When Cælia all her glory fhows, 115 120 125 136 135 If Strephon would but ftop his note, Who now fo impiously blafphemes Her ointments, daubs, and paints, and creams, Her washes, flops, and every clout, With which he makes fo foul a rout; 140 He foon will learn to think like me, |