description; and with gratitude I confess, that this pure and undefiled religion was, to me, a never-failing source of consolation. I was full of the gospel; gladly would I have sacrificed my life, if I might thus have brought all men acquainted with the riches of the grace of the gospel of God our Saviour; and my soul was often wrought up to a degree of ecstacy, by the views, exhibited to my understanding, in the pages of divine revelation. Yes, I have experienced, that a belief of the truth disposes the mind to love God, and to do good to man; and so greatly was my heart affected by the plan of redemption, that I have, in the midst of the streets of London, been so entranced in contemplating its glories, that I have only been awakened to recollection, by the jostling crowd, who wondered as they passed; yet, while in the fulness of my heart, I embraced every opportunity of expatiating upon the great salvation, everything beside had lost the power to charm, or even tranquillize, and the torturing sensations I experienced, from reflecting upon past times, were not to be expressed death had for me an angel's face, and I viewed this sometimes king of terrors, as my emancipating friend.

The forbearance of my creditors was at length exhausted. Debts crowded upon me. Demands, which I was utterly unable to answer, were continually made. Had the health of my lovely wife been continued, I was in a very fine way. Her sickness, her death, by dashing from me the cup of felicity, while expenses accumulated, debilitated my mind, and rendered me unequal to those efforts, which my exigencies required. In the midst of my supineness, I was taken by a writ, and borne to a spunging-house. My sensations were, on this occasion, very different from those which I had formerly experienced, in a similar situation; and I derived, from the expected seclusion, a kind of melancholy pleasure. The officer was astonished at my apathy; I refused sustenance; I had no inclination for food. I would swallow nothing but water. I would have no bed: a bed must be paid for, and I was pennyless. I slept on the floor of a room, hung with cobwebs, the windows of which were secured by iron bars. I prayed most fervently to Him, with whom are the issues of life and death, that as He had not allowed his creatures the privilege of departing out of time, when, and how they pleased, He would graciously_vouchsafe to grant me my deliverance from a world, where I could serve neither my God, my neighbor, nor myself. But, alas! as I have often found, death comes not at call. The barred windows admitted just light enough to announce the return of day; soon after which, the keeper unlocked the door, and in a surly manner, asked me how I did? Indifferent, sir, I replied. 'By G—, I think so! but sir, give me leave to tell you, I am not indifferent, and if you do not very soon settle with your creditors, I shall take the liberty to lodge you in Newgate. I keep nobody in my house that does not spend anything, damn me. I cannot keep house, and pay rent and taxes for nothing. When a gentleman behaves

civil, I behave civil; but, damn me, if they are sulky, why then, do, ye see, I can be sulky too; so, sir, you had better tell me what you intend to do.' Nothing. 'Nothing? damn me, that's a good one; then, by G― you shall soon see I will do something, that you will not very well like.' He then turned upon his heel, drew the door with a vengeance, and doubled-locked it. Soon after this, his helpmate presented herself, and began to apologize for her husband; said he was very quick; hoped I would not be offended, for he was a very good man in the main; that she believed there never was a gentleman in that house, (and she would be bold to say, there had been as good gentlemen there, as in any house in London) who had ever any reason to complain of his conduct. He would wait upon any of my friends, to whom I should think fit to send him, and do all in his power to make matters easy; 'and if you please, sir, you are welcome to come down into the parlor and breakfast with me.' And pray, my good lady, where are you to get your pay? 'O, I will trust to that, sir; I am sure you are a gentleman. Do, sir, come down and breakfast; you will be better after breakfast. Bless your soul, sir, why there have been hundreds, who settled their affairs, and did very well afterwards.' I was prevailed upon to go down to breakfast. There was, in the centre of the entry, a door half way up, with long pikes; every window was barred with iron; escape was impossible; and indeed I had no wish to escape; a kind of mournful insensibility pervaded my soul, for which I was not then disposed to account, but which I have since regarded as an instance of divine goodness, calculated to preserve my little remains of health, as well as that reason, which had frequently tottered in its seat.

To the impertinent prattle of the female turnkey I paid no attention; but, hastily swallowing a cup of tea, I retired to my prison. This irritated her; she expected I would have tarried below, and as is the custom, summoned my friends, who, whether they did anything for my advantage or not, would, by calling for punch, wine, &c. &c., unquestionably contribute to the advantage of the house. But as I made no proposal of this kind, nor indeed ever intended so to do, they saw it was improbable they should reap any benefit by or from me; and having given me a plentiful share of abuse, and appearing much provoked that they could not move me to anger, they were preparing to carry me to Newgate, there to leave me among other poor, desperate debtors; and their determination being thus fixed, 1 was at liberty to continue in my gloomy apartment, and, what I esteemed an especial favor, to remain there uninterrupted. I received no invitation either to dinner, tea, or supper; they just condescended to inform me, when they came to lock me in, that I should have another lodging the ensuing night; to which I made no reply. My spirits, however, sunk in the prospect of Newgate. There, I was well informed, I could not be alone; there, I knew, my associates would many of them be atrocious offenders, and I was in truth immeasurably distressed. It was now

that every argument, which I had ever read in favor of suicide, was most officiously obtruded upon my mind, and warmly impressed upon my imagination. It was stated, that my Almighty Father could not be angry with me for leaving such a world, in such circumstances; the opposition of reason seemed to result from the prejudices of education; and,' said illusive fancy, 'as it is appointed for all men once to die,* to do that to-day, which I may do tomorrow, and what I must shortly do, cannot be very wrong.' It is true, my monitor assured me, that the God, who had created me, was the only proper judge of the exact moment, when I ought to be removed out of time; that He best knew what benefit might accrue to myself, or the community, by my longer continuance in this vale of tears; yet these remarks, with many more of the same description, were not sufficiently imposing to endow me with resolution still to abide the pelting of the pitiless storm;' and I determined to finish my wretched existence, before the dawning of another morning. This was indeed a night of horror; but, in the moment of executing my fatal, my God-dishonoring purpose, the image of my Eliza, irradiating the prison walls, seemed to stand be

* Mr. Murray here partly quotes a passage of scripture which is very generally misunderstood. We take the liberty to subjoin what we consider to be its true sense. The apostle had been speaking of the resemblance between the Jewish and Christian dispensations, an analogy which he traces not only in the ninth chapter, but through it to the end, and far into the tenth. The men unto whom it was appointed to die were the priests, who died figuratively in their sacrifices. Their death was a sacrificial death, and for this reason it was compared to the death of Christ, who died a sacrifice for all mankind. Hence it is said, 'As, (mark the comparison) it is appointed unto men once to die, so Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many.' Here it is evident the death of these men was spoken of in a sacrificial point of view, because it is compared with the death of Christ as a sacrifice. The common death of all men is not sacrificial; and how then can it be compared with the death of Christ as an offering for the sins of many? 'But after this the judgment.' What was this judgment? Ans. A part of the Jewish ceremonies connected with the sacrificial death of the high priest. Hence, the breastplate of the priest was called 'the breastplate of judgment,' and the priest was said to bear the judgment of the children of Israel upon his heart when he went into the holy place. This breastplate he wore after his death in the sacrifice. The priest died once in the sacrifice, and after that bore the judgment of the children of Israel, i. e. their justification, upon his breast. They then stood legally judged, or justified, in the sight of God, and the breastplate was a sign of it. As the priest died for the Jews, so Christ died for all mankind. As after the priest's death he bore, in sight of all who looked for him, the judgment or justification of Israel on his heart, so Jesus, unto all who looked for him, appeared the second time, raised from the dead, bearing the judgment, or justification of all men upon his heart. For ' he was delivered for our offences, and raised again for our justification.' Rom. iv. 25. T. W.

fore me. She appeared as if commissioned by Heaven to soothe my tortured spirit. I prostrated myself before the perhaps imaginary vision, and, for the first moment since I had occupied this dreary abode, my heart softened, and a shower of tears came to my relief; yea, and I was relieved. My soul became calm, and although every hope from this world was extinct in my bosom, yet I believed I should be better able to accommodate myself to whatever sufferings the Almighty might think proper to inflict. I passed the remainder of the night in endeavoring to fortify my mind; a pleasing melancholy took possession of my spirit. I drew consolation froin remembering the time of suffering was not long; that there was a rest, a life of uninterrupted felicity beyond the grave; that of this rest, this life, no power on earth could deprive me; and that I ought therefore quietly to wait, and patiently to hope, for the salvation of my God. Thus, although my night had been sleepless, my mind became so calm, and my spirit so greatly refreshed, that when the keeper opened the door in the morning, to inform me, that in three hours he should lodge me in Newgate, 1 answered with unaffected composure: 1 am ready, sir.

6

.

In less than an hour, however, I had a new source of inquietude. My brother, William Neale, having received a hint of the arrest, had searched from place to place, until at length finding me, with tears of sympathy he reproached me, even in the presence of the woman, for not immediately summoning him to my relief. This female turnkey, observing the appearance of my brother, and the feeling manner in which he addressed me, began to hope, notwithstanding what she had termed my obstinacy, that they should reap some benefit from me after all. Why,' said William, 'did you not send for me immediately upon your entering this house?' Ay, dear sir, so I said: why, dear sir, said I, cannot you send for some of your friends? for I know'd as how the gentleinan had many friends, and my husband would have gone himself to any part of the town, with all his soul. No one can ever say that we were backward in doing everything in our power to serve and oblige every gentleman that ever came into our house: and, though I say it, that should not say. it, I believe there is not a house, in our way, in London, that has ever had more good people in it, as a body may say, than ours; and, says I, Lord, sir, says I, you need not for to make yourself uneasy; it is no crime, says I, to be in difficulty, or the like of that; the best people in the world, says 1, are in the greatest difficulties, says 1: I am sure, I have had my share of troubles and difficulties in this world, says I; but I had better, says 1, have them here, than in a worse place; 1 hope I shall atone for all my sins here.' Thus did this creature's tongue run, and would have continued so to do, had not my brother asked if I had breakfasted. 6 Ay, sir, I am glad to hear you say something of that. The poor gentleman has not seemed to care anything about eating or drinking: for my part I was frightened, in the dread of the poor gentleman's dying in the house: I would have urged him over and

over again; but said I, may be he will think as how that I mean my own interest, and so I did not care to say much about it; but, sir, the poor gentleman can't think you have any interest.' Get breakfast, ma'am.' 'Tea or coffee, gentlemen?" Both, maʼam; and, do you hear, let us have a private room.' 'Yes, sir.' When left alone, my friend and brother again reproached me for delaying my communications to him. I frankly told him that I was so far from being disposed to solicit his aid, that I seriously regretted he had discovered me; that I had no wish to involve my friends in my difficulties; that I would much rather continue a prisoner for the remainder of my life, than incur obligations which I had no prospect of discharging. 'Poh, poh,' said he, 'this is idle talk. You cannot believe you would be the only sufferer from your continuing endurance.' But I should not suffer long. 'You know not how long, however; drop the subject, here is breakfast; sit you down, and let us breakfast together; we will resume our subject by and by.' Yes, William, we will resume our subject, by and by; but suffer me to observe, you shall not come under bonds on my account, neither shall you discharge my debts; consent to this stipulation, or I touch no breakfast. Pshaw, pshaw, how whimsical; but eat your breakfast man : I promise I will do neither. We then breakfasted in peace, and I derived a mournful kind of pleasure from the assurance, that I should not involve the brother of Eliza in my ruin. But, how great was my astonishment, when he ordered in the officer, who was also master of the house, when, after demanding and discharging his bill, he produced a receipt in full from my creditor, and a complete discharge for me. Thus was I liberated from the fangs of these harpies, and I accompanied this commiserating brother to his hospitable mansion, where he related to me the means by which he had discovered me.

Quitting this noble-minded friend, I hastened home to my suffering mother, who was in agonies on my account; ignorant where I was, or what was my situation, ber apprehensions were of the most fearful kind. We mingled our tears, while she most affectionately endeavored to soothe me, and to bind up my broken heart; but my only remaining hope was, that, in this distempered state, Í had not long to suffer. But, alas! here also I was deceived; long, very long have I continued, and with heart-felt sorrow, to tread this thorny maze. The brothers of my departed angel combined to help me forward; many plans were proposed for me; a sum of money was hired to place me, as a partner, in a mercantile house, and my brothers were my bondsmen! I detested the thought of new prospects from such a world as this, but, to my beloved William I was largely in debt; he had a growing family, and both gratitude, as well as justice, demanded I should make every effort for his remuneration. Thus I again became a melancholy man of business. It was supposed the road, not only to competency, but to affluence was open before me, and I was pronounced in flourishing circumstances. It was, for those who loved me, a pleasing dream; but