"Things unattempted yet, in profe or rhyme," A fhilling, breeches, and chimeras dire.
HAPPY the man, who, void of cares and ftrife,
In filken or in leathern purfe retains
A Splendid Shilling: he nor hears with pain New oyfters cry'd, nor fighs for chearful ale; But with his friends, when nightly mifts arife, To Juniper's Magpye, or Town-Hall * repairs: Where, mindful of the nymph, whofe wanton eye Transfix'd his foul, and kindled amorous flames, Cloe, or Phillis, he each circling glafs
Wisheth her health, and joy, and equal love. Meanwhile, he fmokes, and laughs at merry tale, Or pun ambiguous, or conundrum quaint. But I, whom griping penury furrounds, And hunger, fure attendant upon want, With fcanty offals, and finall acid tiff (Wretched repaft!) my meagre corpfe fuftain: Then folitary walk, or doze at home In garret vile, and with a warming puff
Two noted alehoufes in Oxford, 1700.
Regale chill'd fingers; or from tube as black As winter-chimney, or well-polish'd jet, Exhale mundungus, ill-perfuming fcent: Not blacker tube, nor of a fhorter fize, Smokes Cambro-Briton (vers'd in pedigree, Sprung from Cadwalador and Arthur, kings Full famous in romantic tale) when he O'er many a craggy hill and barren cliff, Upon a cargo of fam'd Ceftrian cheese, High over-fhadowing rides, with a defign To vend his wares, or at th' Arvonian mart, Or Maridunum, or the ancient town Yclip'd Brechinia, or where Vaga's ftream Encircles Ariconium, fruitful foil!
Whence flow nectareous wines, that well may vie. With Maffic, Setin, or renown'd Falern.
Thus, while my joylefs minutes tedious flow, With looks demure, and filent pace, a Dun,.. Horrible monfter! hated by gods and men, To my aërial citadel ascends,
With vocal heel thrice thundering at my gate, With hideous accent thrice he calls; I know The voice ill-boding, and the folemn found. What should I do? or whither turn? Amaz'd Confounded, to the dark recess I fly
Of wood-hole; ftrait my bristling hairs erect * Through sudden fear; a chilly sweat bedews My fhuddering limbs, and (wonderful to tell!) My tongue forgets her faculty of speech; So horrible he feems! His faded brow
-Entrench'd with many frown, and conic beard, And spreading band, admir'd by modern faints, Difaftrous acts forebode; in his right hand Long fcrolls of paper folemnly he waves, With characters and figures dire inscrib'd, Grievous to mortal eyes; (ye gods, avert
Such plagues from righteous men !) Behind him stalks Another monster, not unlike himself,
Sullen of afpect, by the vulgar call'd
A Catchpole, whofe polluted hands the gods With force incredible, and magic charms, Firft have endued: if he his ample palm Should haply on ill-fated fhoulder lay Of debtor, ftrait his body, to the touch Obfequious (as whilom knights were wont) To fome inchanted caftle is convey'd,
Where gates impregnable, and coercive chains, In durance ftri&t detain him, till, in form Of money, Pallas fets the captive free.
Beware, ye debtors ! when ye walk, beware,
Be circumfpect; oft with infidious ken The caitiff eyes your steps aloof, and oft Lies perdue in a nook or gloomy cave, Prompt to inchant fome inadvertent wretch With his unhallow'd touch. So (poets fing) Grimalkin, to domeftic vermin fworn An everlasting foe, with watchful eye Lies nightly brooding o'er a chinky gap, Protending her fell claws, to thoughtless mice Sure ruin. So her difembowel'd web
Arachne, in a hall or kitchen, spreads Obvious to vagrant flies: fhe fecret stands Within her woven cell; the humming prey, Regardless of their fate, rush on the toils Inextricable, nor will aught avail
Their arts, or arms, or shapes of lovely hue; The wafp infidious, and the buzzing drone, And butterfly proud of expanded wings Diftinct with gold, intangled in her fnares, Ufelefs refiftance make: with eager ftrides, She towering flies to her expected spoils; Then, with envenom'd jaws, the vital blood Drinks of reluctant foes, and to her cave Their bulky carcafes triumphant drags.
So pafs my days. But, when nocturnal shades This world invelop, and th' inclement air Perfuades men to repel benumming frofts With pleasant wines, and crackling blaze of wood; Me, lonely fitting, nor the glimmering light Of make-weight candle, nor the joyous talk Of loving friend, delights; diftrefs'd, forlorn, Amidst the horrors of the tedious night,
Darkling I figh, and feed with dismal thoughts My anxious mind; or fometimes mournful verfe Indite, and fing of groves and myrtle shades, Or desperate lady near a purling stream, Or lover pendent on a willow-tree. Meanwhile I labour with eternal drought, And restlefs wish, and rave; my parched throat Finds no relief, nor heavy eyes repofe ;
But if a flumber haply does invade
My weary limbs, my fancy 's still awake, Thoughtful of drink, and eager, in a dream, Tipples imaginary pots of ale,
In vain; awake I find the fettled thirst
Still gnawing, and the pleasant phantom curse. Thus do I live, from pleafure quite debarr'd,, Nor taste the fruits that the fun's genial rays Mature, john-apple, nor the downy peach, Nor walnut in rough-furrow'd coat secure, Nor medlar fruit delicious in decay : Afflictions great! yet greater still remain : My Galligafkins, that have long withstood. The winter's fury, and encroaching frofts, By time fubdued (what will not time fubdue!) An horrid chafm difclos'd with orifice Wide, difcontinuous; at which the winds Eurus and Aufter, and the dreadful force Of Boreas, that congeals the Cronian waves, Tumultuous enter with dire chilling blasts, Portending agues. Thus a well-fraught fhip, Long fail'd fecure, or through th' Ægean deep, - Or the Ionian, till cruising near
The Lilybean fhore, with hideous crush
On Scylla, or Charybdis (dangerous rocks!) She ftrikes rebounding; whence the fhatter'd oak, So fierce a fhock unable to withstand,
Admits the fea; in at the gaping fide
The crowding waves gufh with impetuous rage,
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