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THE

SPLENDID SHILLING.

Sing, heavenly Mufe!

"Things unattempted yet, in profe or rhyme,"
A fhilling, breeches, and chimeras dire.

HAPPY the man, who, void of cares and ftrife,

In filken or in leathern purfe retains

A Splendid Shilling: he nor hears with pain
New oyfters cry'd, nor fighs for chearful ale;
But with his friends, when nightly mifts arife,
To Juniper's Magpye, or Town-Hall * repairs:
Where, mindful of the nymph, whofe wanton eye
Transfix'd his foul, and kindled amorous flames,
Cloe, or Phillis, he each circling glafs

Wisheth her health, and joy, and equal love.
Meanwhile, he fmokes, and laughs at merry tale,
Or pun ambiguous, or conundrum quaint.
But I, whom griping penury furrounds,
And hunger, fure attendant upon want,
With fcanty offals, and finall acid tiff
(Wretched repaft!) my meagre corpfe fuftain:
Then folitary walk, or doze at home
In garret vile, and with a warming puff

Two noted alehoufes in Oxford, 1700.

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Regale chill'd fingers; or from tube as black
As winter-chimney, or well-polish'd jet,
Exhale mundungus, ill-perfuming fcent:
Not blacker tube, nor of a fhorter fize,
Smokes Cambro-Briton (vers'd in pedigree,
Sprung from Cadwalador and Arthur, kings
Full famous in romantic tale) when he
O'er many a craggy hill and barren cliff,
Upon a cargo of fam'd Ceftrian cheese,
High over-fhadowing rides, with a defign
To vend his wares, or at th' Arvonian mart,
Or Maridunum, or the ancient town
Yclip'd Brechinia, or where Vaga's ftream
Encircles Ariconium, fruitful foil!

Whence flow nectareous wines, that well may vie.
With Maffic, Setin, or renown'd Falern.

Thus, while my joylefs minutes tedious flow,
With looks demure, and filent pace, a Dun,..
Horrible monfter! hated by gods and men,
To my aërial citadel ascends,

With vocal heel thrice thundering at my gate,
With hideous accent thrice he calls; I know
The voice ill-boding, and the folemn found.
What should I do? or whither turn? Amaz'd
Confounded, to the dark recess I fly

Of wood-hole; ftrait my bristling hairs erect
* Through sudden fear; a chilly sweat bedews
My fhuddering limbs, and (wonderful to tell!)
My tongue forgets her faculty of speech;
So horrible he feems! His faded brow

Entrench'd

-Entrench'd with many frown, and conic beard,
And spreading band, admir'd by modern faints,
Difaftrous acts forebode; in his right hand
Long fcrolls of paper folemnly he waves,
With characters and figures dire inscrib'd,
Grievous to mortal eyes; (ye gods, avert

Such plagues from righteous men !) Behind him stalks
Another monster, not unlike himself,

Sullen of afpect, by the vulgar call'd

A Catchpole, whofe polluted hands the gods
With force incredible, and magic charms,
Firft have endued: if he his ample palm
Should haply on ill-fated fhoulder lay
Of debtor, ftrait his body, to the touch
Obfequious (as whilom knights were wont)
To fome inchanted caftle is convey'd,

Where gates impregnable, and coercive chains,
In durance ftri&t detain him, till, in form
Of money, Pallas fets the captive free.

Beware, ye debtors ! when ye walk, beware,

Be circumfpect; oft with infidious ken
The caitiff eyes your steps aloof, and oft
Lies perdue in a nook or gloomy cave,
Prompt to inchant fome inadvertent wretch
With his unhallow'd touch. So (poets fing)
Grimalkin, to domeftic vermin fworn
An everlasting foe, with watchful eye
Lies nightly brooding o'er a chinky gap,
Protending her fell claws, to thoughtless mice
Sure ruin. So her difembowel'd web

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Arachne, in a hall or kitchen, spreads
Obvious to vagrant flies: fhe fecret stands
Within her woven cell; the humming prey,
Regardless of their fate, rush on the toils
Inextricable, nor will aught avail

Their arts, or arms, or shapes of lovely hue;
The wafp infidious, and the buzzing drone,
And butterfly proud of expanded wings
Diftinct with gold, intangled in her fnares,
Ufelefs refiftance make: with eager ftrides,
She towering flies to her expected spoils;
Then, with envenom'd jaws, the vital blood
Drinks of reluctant foes, and to her cave
Their bulky carcafes triumphant drags.

So pafs my days. But, when nocturnal shades
This world invelop, and th' inclement air
Perfuades men to repel benumming frofts
With pleasant wines, and crackling blaze of wood;
Me, lonely fitting, nor the glimmering light
Of make-weight candle, nor the joyous talk
Of loving friend, delights; diftrefs'd, forlorn,
Amidst the horrors of the tedious night,

Darkling I figh, and feed with dismal thoughts
My anxious mind; or fometimes mournful verfe
Indite, and fing of groves and myrtle shades,
Or desperate lady near a purling stream,
Or lover pendent on a willow-tree.
Meanwhile I labour with eternal drought,
And restlefs wish, and rave; my parched throat
Finds no relief, nor heavy eyes repofe ;

But

But if a flumber haply does invade

My weary limbs, my fancy 's still awake,
Thoughtful of drink, and eager, in a dream,
Tipples imaginary pots of ale,

In vain; awake I find the fettled thirst

Still gnawing, and the pleasant phantom curse.
Thus do I live, from pleafure quite debarr'd,,
Nor taste the fruits that the fun's genial rays
Mature, john-apple, nor the downy peach,
Nor walnut in rough-furrow'd coat secure,
Nor medlar fruit delicious in decay :
Afflictions great! yet greater still remain :
My Galligafkins, that have long withstood.
The winter's fury, and encroaching frofts,
By time fubdued (what will not time fubdue!)
An horrid chafm difclos'd with orifice
Wide, difcontinuous; at which the winds
Eurus and Aufter, and the dreadful force
Of Boreas, that congeals the Cronian waves,
Tumultuous enter with dire chilling blasts,
Portending agues. Thus a well-fraught fhip,
Long fail'd fecure, or through th' Ægean deep, -
Or the Ionian, till cruising near

The Lilybean fhore, with hideous crush

On Scylla, or Charybdis (dangerous rocks!)
She ftrikes rebounding; whence the fhatter'd oak,
So fierce a fhock unable to withstand,

Admits the fea; in at the gaping fide

The crowding waves gufh with impetuous rage,

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