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He now resolves, in heat of blood,

how firm her virtue stood.
He knew that wine (to love best aid)
Has oft made bold the shame-fac'd maid,
Taught her to romp, and take more freedoms,
Than nymphs train’d up at Smith's or Needham's.

A mighty bottle strait he chose,
Such as might give two Friars their dose :
Nanette he call'd : the cellar door
She straight unlocks, descends before,
He follow'd close. But when he spies
His fav’rite calk; with lifted eyes
And lifted hands aloud he cries,
Heigh day! my darling wine aftoop!
It must, alas ! have sprung a hoop;
That there's a leak is paft all doubt,
(Reply'd the maid)—I'll find it out.
She sets the candle down in haste,
Tucks her white apron round her watte,
The hogshead's mouldy fide ascends,
She straddles wide, and downward bends;
So low she stoops to seek the flaw,
Her coats rose up, her master fawm
I fee-he cries-- (then claspt her faft)
The leak through which my wine has paft.

Then all in haste the maid descended,
And in a trice the leak was mended.
He found in Nanette all he wanted,
So Dennis' brows remain’d unplanted.

Ere since this time all lufty Friars
(Warm'd with predominant defires,
Whene'er the flesh with spirit quarrels)
Look on the sex as leaky barrels.


Beware of these, ye jealous spouses,
From fuch like coopers guard your houfes ;
For if they find not work at home,
For jobs through all the town they roam.


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N Abbot rich (whose taste was good

Alike in science and in food)
His Bishop had resolvid to treat ;
The Bishop came, the Bishop eat;
'Twas silence, 'till their stomachs faild ;
And now at Hereticks they raild;
What Heresy (the Prelate faid)
Is in that Church where Priests


Do not we take the Church for life?
But those divorce her for a wife,
Like laymen keep her in their houses,
And own the children of their spouses..
Vile practices! the Abbot cry'd,
For pious use we're set aside!
Shall we take wives ? marriage at best
Is but carnality profest.
Now as the Bishop took his glass,
He spy'd our Abbot's buxom lass
Who cross'd the room, he mark'd her eye
That glow'd with love ; his pulse beat higher
Fye, father, fye, (the Prelate cries)
A maid so young! for shame, be wise.
These indiscretions lend a handle
To lewd lay tongues, to give us scandal ;


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For your vows fake, this rule I give t'ye,
Let all your maids be turn'd of fifty.

The Prieft reply'd, I have not swerv'd,
But your chaste precept well observ'd,
That lass full twenty-five has told,
I've yet another who's as old ;
Into one sum their ages caft ; .
So both my maids have fifty paft.

The Prelate smild, but durft not blame i
For why? his Lordship did the same.

Let those who reprimand their brothers, Firft mend the faults they find in others.

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Α Ρ Ρ Α R Ι Τ Ι Ο Ν.

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Cepticks (whose strength of argument makes out

Hold this assertion positive and clear,
That sprites are pure delusions rais’d by fear.
Not that fam'd ghoft, which in presaging found
Callid Brutus to Philippi's fatal ground;
Nor can Tiberius Gracchus' goary

These ever-doubting disputants persuade,
Straight they with smiles reply; those tales of old
By visionary Priests were made and told:
Oh might fome ghost at dead of night appear,
And make you own conviction by your fear !
I know your sneers my easy faith accuse,
Which with such idle legends scares the Muse:
But think not that I tell those vulgar sprights,
Which frighted boys relate on winter nights ;
How cleanly milk-maids meet the fairy train,
How headless horses drag the clinking chain,
Night-roaming ghosts, by faucer eye-balls known,
The common spectres of each country town.
No, I such fables can like you despise,
And laugh to hear these nurse-invented lies.
Yet has not oft the fraudful guardian's fright
Compellid him to restore an orphan's right!


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