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Land's End, could he have feasted his whiskered sex, a fine bust, a symmetrieyes all the way on that specimen of matchless symmetry. What would he have cared that she had hair of fiery redness, a waist of immense size, and feet whose ample proportions scorned the aperture of an ordinary-sized shoe? She had a splendid bust, and that was sufficient to command his admiration. He looked no further and required no

more.

Another lady passed me, and heavens, what a foot! Its diminutive size would have entitled its possessor to the honour of the prince's hand, had she been present to compete with the beautiful Cinderella. It was just such a foot as would have turned the head of my quondam friend, Bob Willoughby, and rendered him, for one week, a fitter companion for the inmates of a lunatic asylum, than for people in their right senses. Bob was a great admirer of pretty feet, and nothing compensated for the want of them. It was in vain that you directed his attention to beautiful hair, eyes, skin, figure, or height. He took note of the feet, and if they were small, well-shaped, and surmounted by slender, but not bony, ancles, his admiration was unbounded; but if he found them of goodly size and flat, affording a broad and substantial foundation for the superstructure, he turned away in disgust. He was not one of those who can endure "beef to the heel;" and with him, small feet were a sort of sine quá non, as it was neck or nothing with Jack Arden.

I know another man, who considered the perfection of beauty to consist in a slender waist. I have known him to follow a wasp-like woman for an hour, and to hold the pleasure thus derived as a full recompense for his trouble. After an excursion of this kind behind a compressed female, he was usually haunted for some days by her image, and be would endeavour to give his friends a correct idea of her figure, by drawing it with charcoal on a wall. These uncouth sketches, resembling hour-glasses, were the ornaments of his bed-chamber. This man finally married a lady whose waist, if she had any, was so small, that the upper and lower parts of her frame were generally believed to have no connexion with each other.

Perhaps it will never be decided by connoisseurs, which gives a lady the strongest claim to the admiration of the

cal waist, or well-turned ancles and diminutive feet. Each of these divisions of the anatomy has its powerful advocates, and I despair of ever seeing them agree, or effect any compromise on this agitating subject. Such is the infatuation of these men in favour of particular sections of the human figure, that the task of reconciling them would be as hopeless as an attempt to commingle oil and water. The bust-men will never knock under to the waist-men, while the feet-men will kick at, and take in high dudgeon, any slurs on their favourite limbs. These last, especially, are wonderfully prejudiced in favour of their own doctrine, and consider all others as heretics who are not ready to fall down and worship the feet of beauty.

Now, as I have my own peculiar notions on this subject, which, I would fain believe, are not altogether valueless, I beg to be permitted to make them known, and hope the world at large will be benefited by them. In thus coming out publicly, I trust I am actuated by the purest motives, and not by a paltry desire to achieve a victory over those who, possessing, perhaps, superior taste, entertain widely different opinions on this important subject.

De gustibus non est disputandum, is a maxim older than the hills, and entitled, by its great age, (like an ancient maiden,) to great respect, and I shall, therefore, leave the three parties to their proper enjoyments, and endeavour to collect a fourth, to be entitled the TEETH PARTY. I do not despair of being able, in a very short time, to collect such a force under my banner, as will constitute a party, equal in number and respectability, to the three great powers of the Bust, the Waist, and the Feet. I am satisfied from my inquiries, and from a close observation, that there are, scattered up and down, many extravagant admirers of pure white teeth, who, under a bold leader, would immediately raise their standard, and march gallantly on to victory. They are convinced that a union is now absolutely necessary, not only to the promotion of a greater admiration of fine teeth, but to prevent the other three powers from encouraging too great a display of the objects of their adoration. The feet-party have long since succeeded in curtailing, by several inches, the proper length of

ladies' dresses; and the bust-party, after unwearied efforts, have also succeeded in taking as much from the top as their opponents have from the bottom. In this nearly equal contest, the balance of power seems to be in the hands of the waist-party; but as the other bellige rents appear to be fighting their way toward the province occupied by them, it is supposed they will eventually be obliged to retreat, unless the new party shall come, tooth and nail, to the rescue. My object, therefore, is to bring the admirers of fine teeth together, and with united efforts, to claim a share of public attention for those neglected and suffering objects. With a degree of perseverance, worthy of such a cause, I hope to establish in the public mind, such a love of a clear and well-furnished mouth, that no person will be tolerated in "good society," whose ivories do not daily receive all the care they so richly deserve. I would have every lady scorn the attentions of gentlemen deficient in this particular, and I would have every gentleman leave to single blessedness the lady whose smile betrays her inattention to her teeth.

My rather ancient friend, Tom Herbert, has already proposed to aid me, as my lieutenant, in leading the new tooth-party. Herbert is a single gentleman, and well qualified, in all respects, to execute the task he has imposed on himself. Although a bachelor, and somewhat antiquated, he is an ardent admirer of the fair sex, and ere this, would have paired off with some charming creature, had he not been several times balked in his matrimonial schemes by obstacles connected with the teeth.

His first flame was a beautiful girl whom he saw, many years ago, at the theatre. She possessed a most delicate and transparent complexion, a neck unsurpassed by any that I ever saw, and her figure left nothing to be desired by the most fastidious eye. She combined, in an eminent degree, all the attractions necessary to command the homage of the three powers; and this rare union of so many charms, united to manners the most winning, made a violent assault on the citadel of Tom's heart, and obliged the garrison, in the short space of two hours, to surrender at discretion. He followed the lady to her residence, and, for many weeks after, made a daily pilgrimage to her house, in order to catch a momentary view of the angel he adored.

It happened that no person within the large circle of his acquaintance knew her personally, so that to obtain an introduction appeared beyond the range of possibilities. His passion grew more and more intense as the probability of success diminished, till, at length, chance threw in his way a man who was slightly acquainted with a cousin of her brother's intimate friend, and who politely offered to conduct him, step by step, through the mazes by which her friendship was to be obtained. He set resolutely to work, and, in a few weeks, had the exquisite happiness to be presented to the lady. Judge, however, of my unfortunale friend's feeelings, when the first parting of her rosy lips showed a set of ivory whose colour denied the slightest intimacy with that useful little implement of the toilet, called a tooth-brush. A chill came over his heart, and he turned with disgust to the door as speedily as possible.

Some years after the unhappy dénouement of his first love, Herbert met on board a steamboat another lady who was on the wrong side of thirty-five, exceedingly plump and comely, and who showed, en riant, as fine a row of teeth as ever were enclosed in a pair of lips. He was not slow to discover the superior beauty of her dental possessions, nor was it long before he delivered himself, body and soul, into the snare that the wily lady had so artfully laid for him. He praised her teeth extravagantly, and thus exposed his weak point; and the more he praised, the more she smiled, that he might feast his eyes on the objects that bound him to her. Several months passed away, and it was generally understood that the twain were about to become one, when an unlucky circumstance broke off the match, and sealed poor Tom's fate, I fear, for ever.

One day while the happy pair were dining at the same table, two of the fair one's front teeth suddenly jumped, without leave, out of her mouth, and fell by the side of her plate. The lady slyly caught up the fugitives, and slipped them into her pocket; but that did not fill the vacancy which their absence caused in her mouth, nor did all her efforts to keep her lips closed, prevent Herbert's discovering that two of his little favourites had emigrated. He left the table and the house in despair, declaring, that inasmuch as he had been unsuccessful in two campaigns, he should abandon all

hope of finding a mouth exactly after his own heart. The first lady might have been successful but for her unpardonable negligence; and the latter would have secured her prize, had she been indebted more to nature, and less to a surgeondentist, for a share of her charms.

It will be perceived, therefore, that Mr. Herbert is well qualified to aid me in the great work of reformation I have projected. Perhaps it may be said that he is better fitted to take the lead, since he has made such sacrifices to principle, and manifested so great an abhorrence of all that militates against the purity and beauty of the mouth. But let me assure you, patient reader, that I possess, in an equal degree, the same peculiarity of taste, and that when the proper time arrives, I shall show myself his superior as a pioneer in the great cause we have espoused.

In conclusion, allow me to add that I care not a jot for the colour of the hair or eyes; nor does it make any material difference to me whether the skin be transparent or dark, the neck swan-like or bull-like; whether the form be moulded as a sylph's, or like that of a dairy-maid; whether the feet resemble those of a fairy, or approximate in size to those of a camel. All these considerations, so weighty with many, are to me of little importance. So long as the smile will disclose enough to afford pleasure to my eye, I am always ready to exclaim, "Heaven bless the woman that has pretty teeth!"

NOTES OF A READER.

TASTES.

H. W.

THERE is an old proverb to the effect, that "de gustibus non est disputandum," which Sancho translates by "what's one man's meat is another's

poison." The adage is humorously illustrated in the following accompanying periods :

"I have, all my life, been puzzled to account for the origin of tastes. Sometimes I have attributed the whole visible phenomena to affectation; but there are, certainly, some exceptions to that rule; such as the taste for collections of halters in which criminals have been hanged, bits of the polished bones or tanned skins of murderers, and other

rare objects, which it must be really gratifying to contemplate, for their own sakes, in abundance and in solitude. Again, I have considered the proposition that we generally like opposites; but have found it true only to a limited extent. Little prigs of mannikins will marry giantesses, and colossal fellows pair with pigmy maidens, or indeed, with bits of widows, if otherwise well en dowed. The fat take to the thin, and the thin cleave unto the fat. Lame people are almost invariably fond of travelling, and the purblind of sightseeing. The stone-blind are reckoned the clearest judges of colours; and those who look faithest are destitute of feeling. The ladies in Japan gild their teeth, and those of the Indies paint them. The pearl of teeth must be dyed black to be beautiful in Guzerat. In Greenland, the women colour their faces with blue and yellow. However fresh the complexion of a Muscovite may be, she would think herself very ugly if she were not plastered over with paint. The Chinese must have their feet as diminutive as those of the she-goats. In ancient Persia, an aquiline nose was often thought worthy of the crown; and, if there were any competition between two princes, the people generally went by this criterion of majesty. In some countries, the women break the noses of their children, and, in others, press the head between two boards, that it may become square. The modern Persians have a strong aversion to red hair; the Turks, on the contrary, are warm admirers of it. The female Hottentot receives from the hand of her lover, not silks nor wreaths of flowers, but warm entrails and reeking tripe, to dress herself with enviable ornaments."

NATIONAL PREJUDICES.

THE change which the separation of chord of a people's feelings, is certainly a narrow sea will produce in the whole most extraordinary. At Dover you see a pair of jack-boots painted upon a sign, as the very emblem of all that is ridiculous; and every Englishman as he passes, shakes with laughter. A couple of hours brings you to the pier at Calais, and the first thing you see is a postillion coming towards you in a pair of those identical jack-boots, without the slightest idea that there is anything absurd about them.

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THE DEATH'S HEAD.
"Here be truths."-Shakspeare.

A FEW years ago, before close fellowship with the world had brushed away the freshness of my feelings, or sorrow touched with icy fingers that gaieté de cœur for which the season of youth is proverbial, it was a custom with me to temper the vivacity of my spirits, by strolling every now and then through the deserted alleys of an old churchyard, belonging to a hamlet seated in one of the deepest seclusions of the west of England. The ancient graves sprinkled around in thick profusion; the rude stones, and ruder inscriptions; the weedovergrown walks; and the lowly temple crowning all, and itself crowned with exuberant clusters of ivy,-possessed an indefinable charm for my boyish fancy. I seemed, while winding in and out the grass-covered mounds, or seated upon them in deep thought, to become familiar with years long past. The genius of the place held my senses in close enthralment. I mused, until the closing hymn, wafted across the intervening

VOL. I. (11.)

field in the stillness of a sabbath evening, appeared, to my excited imagination, to connect itself with the ruined fabric before me, and I have almost expected to see an antique train issue forth.

The summer had deepened into autumn, when one evening I took my favourite ramble; the gathering darkness had softened and blended the outlines of the various objects before me, and was fast shrouding all in its undis. tinguishing veil, when the moon, darting suddenly from behind a mass of clouds, to which it communicated its own silvery lustre, restored in strong, though mellow, radiance, the touching details of the scene. The church stood, as is not unusual, at some little distance from the village, and the most entire stillness prevailed. I sat down upon a tombstone, and was soon lost in reverie. From this abstraction I was roused :and how?. To my infinite surprise, I felt a chill, wasted hand laid upon mine, and its long fingers twining themselves around my own. I had been, in fact, half-slumbering; my first sensation was, as I have said, surprise; which, however, was instantaneously succeeded by

M

We adjourned to his house, and having taken some refreshment, he communicated the following little history, to which I listened with breathless interest.

alarm. I started, and on raising my as he locked his arm in mine," and I eyes, I perceived that I was not alone. will tell you." But who was my companion? She looked not like an inhabitant of the earth, and yet was on it. A female figure sat by my side, and met my intent gaze with corresponding earnestness. She seemed the very personification of "Life in Death." Her stature was small-her shape attenuated to an almost incredible degree; her auburn hair streamed on the night breeze: and her face-never shall I forget those pale, sad features--that unearthly expression, referable to no feeling by which humanity is visited, and which would almost tempt one to believe in the fabled history of purgatory. My temperament was naturally nervous, and I had a wild pleasure in furnishing it with appropriate food. On the present occasion, my faculties were wholly entranced: I sat as motionless, and I should think, almost as pale, as the fair statue beside me, Her garments were white and flowing; and, but that mine were of less questionable shape, had chance brought another person to the place, we should both have passed, with our fixed and silent glances bent upon each other, for reanimated inmates of the surrounding tombs.

It was not until the figure arose, that the spell was in any degree unbound. The removal of her hand from mine seemed a signal for the warm blood to rush back again to my heart. With the sensation of one awaking from a painful dream, I rubbed my eyes violently, and on reopening them, found myself once more in utter solitude.

The reaction of my feelings was tumultuous. The principle of life, beaten back for awhile by mingled emotions of wonder and awe, returned with threefold energy: a moment's recollection sufficed to convince me that I had not been dreaming; and with a strong impression of having received a supernatural visitation, I hastily left the place. When half-way home, I was encountered, in my thoughtless and almost unconscious speed, by a friend whose house lay close by. "Whither so fast?" demanded he; and then added, slightly drawing himself back, "Good heavens ! you look as if you had seen the woman!" "The woman!-what woman?" exclaimed I, involuntarily shuddering. "Come with me," answered my friend, eyeing me with still greater attention,

"Amelia Gwas the daughter of a gentleman, who lives in the vicinity of your favourite hamlet. I knew her from infancy. Her person, symmetrical and sylph-like, was moulded by Nature and parental care into the most winning gracefulness; and her mind, in its expanding beauty, seemed altogether too comprehensive and strenuous for its slight habitation. She had been forwarded, under her mother's eye, in all those accomplishments wherewith it is held desirable to invest a young female, when death prematurely deprived her of the benefits of maternal solicitude. Her father now deemed it expedient to give his daughter the advantage of a firstrate scholastic establishment near the metropolis, and thither Amelia was despatched.

"In this seminary the young lady soon distinguished herself among her fellows; and in no way more conspicuously, than in the unyielding firmness with which she rejected every trait and modification of superstitious feeling. Her clear intellect burst asunder the bond whereby the youthful, and more particularly the female fancy is apt to be enthralled, and it must have been delightfully interesting to observe a delicate girl negative the deduction of ignorance, and submit to the test of reason alone those tales of phantasm and chimeras dire, always plentifully engendered in the seclusion of a boarding school. For Amelia was delicate-ay, and timid too; her ima gination, so far from being indurated, was peculiarly sensitive, and her superiority proceeded not from strong nerves, but from a luminous understanding.

"Two years had flitted by, when the anxious father determined to recall his precious treasure, who had been represented to him as now ripe in mental and personal excellence. He announced his resolution to the principal of the estab lishment, as well as to Amelia herself, and the eve of that day on which his arrival was expected to convey his daughter home, found the happy girl revelling in health and joyous anticipation; her cheek radiant with the contesting rose and lily-her heart bounding with confidence and universal good-will

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