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taking snuff; “ Captain Gregory Jones, certainly knew my two aunts very per
fectly, for greater opposites were never “Ay, mine goot sare-yesh!"
made since the formation of light and “He set sail for Calcutta yesterday. darkness : but they were both good creaHe commands the Royal Sally. He must tures,-80 are light and darkness both! evidently have sworn this debt against good things in their place. My two you for the purpose of getting rid of your aunts, however, were not so appropri. claim, and silencing your mouth till you ately to be compared to light and darkcould catch him no longer. He's a clever ness as to crum and crust-the crum fellow is Gregory Jones.”
and crust of a new loaf : the crum of “De teufel ! but, sare, ish dere no which is marvellously soft, and the crust remedy for de poor merchant ?" of which is exceedingly crisp, dry, and
“Remedy! oh, yes - indictment for snappish. The one was my father's perjury.”
sister, and the other was my mother's : “But vat use is dat? You say he be and very curiously it happened that they gonemten thousand miles off—to Cal. were both named Bridget. To distinguish cutta !'
between them, we young folks used to call “That's certainly against your indict- the quiet and easy one Aunt Bridget, and ment."
the bustling, worrying one Aunt Fidget. “ And cannot I get my monish ?” You never in the whole course of your "" Not as I see.'
life saw such a quiet, easy, comfortable “ And I have been arreshted instead creature as Aunt Bridget-she was not of him!”
immensely large, but prodigiously fat. “ You have."
Her weight did not exceed twenty stone, “ Sare, I have only von vord to say- or two-and-twenty at the utmost-hot is dat justice ?"
weather made some little difference : but “That I can't say, Mynheer Meyer, she might be called prodigiously fat, bebut it is certainly the law of arrest,”' cause she was all fat: I don't think answered the magistrate ; and he bowed there was an ounce of lean in her whole the merchant out of the room.
composition. She was so imperturbably good natured, that I really do not be
lieve that she ever was in a passion in LOVE.
the whole course of her life. I have no
doubt that she had her troubles; we all They sin who tell us love can die.
have troubles more or less, but Aunt With life all other passions fly, All others are but vanity.
Bridget did not like to trouble herself to
complain. The greatest trouble that she In heaven ambition cannot dwell,
endured was the alternation of day and Nor avarice in the depths of hell.
night-it was a trouble to her to go up Earthly these passions, as of earth,
stairs to bed, and it was a trouble to her They perish where they have their birth. But love is indestructible;
to come down stairs to breakfast ; but, Its holy flame for ever burneth,
when she was once in bed, she could From heaven it came, to heaven re
sleep ten hours without dreaming, and turneth ;
when she was once up and seated in her
comfortable arm-chair, by the fire-side, Too oft on earth a troubled guest, At times deceived, at times oppressed,
with her knitting apparatus in order, and It here is tried and purified,
a nice, fat, flat, comfortable quarto
volume on a small table at her side, the And hath in heaven its perfect rest;
leaves of which volume she could turn It soweth here with toil and care,
over with her knitting needle, she was But the harvest-time of love is there.
happy for the day-the grief of getting Oh! when a mother meets on high The babe she lost in infancy,
up was forgotten, and the trouble of Hath she not then, for pains and fears,
going to bed was not anticipated. Know
ing her aversion to moving, I was once The day of woe, the anxious night, For all her sorrow, all her tears,
saucy enough to recommend her to make
two days into one, that she might not An over-payment of delight!
have the trouble of going up and down
stairs so often. Any body but Aunt MY TWO AUNTS.
Bridget would have boxed my ears for
my impertinence, and would, in so doing, PHIL PHERS tell us that we know have served me rightly; but she, good nothing but from its opposite ;-then I creature, took it all in good part, and
said, “ Yes, my dear, it would save carelessness of one of her maids the trouble, but I am afraid it would not be whole service was smashed at one fell good for my health : I should not have swoop. “ Now that is too bad," said exercise enough." Aunt Bridget loved my aunt ; “I really will tell her of it." quiet, and she lived in the quietest place So I was in hopes of seeing my Aunt in the world. There is not a spot in the Bridget in a passion, which would have deserts of Arabia, or in the Frozen been as rare a sight as an American aloe Ocean, to be for a moment compared for in blossom. She rang the bell with most quietness with Ann's Place
heroic vigour, and with an expression of “ The very houses seem asleep ;' almost a determination to say something and when the bawlers of milk, mackerel, very severe to Betty when she should make dabs, and founders enter the placid pre- her
appearance. Indeed ifthe bell pull had cincts of that place, they scream with a been Betty, she might have heard half subdued violence, like the hautboy play- the first sentence of a terrible scolding ; ed with a piece of cotton in the bell. but before Betty could answer the sumYou might almost fancy that oval of mons of the bell, my aunt was as cool as building to be some mysterious egg on a turbot at a tavern dinner.
“ Betty," which the genius of silence had sat said she, “ are they all broke?"brooding ever since the creation of the “ Yes, ma'am, ," said Betty.-" How world, or even before Chaos had combed came you to break them ?" said my its head and washed its face. There is aunt. “ They slipped off the tray, in that place a silence that might be ma'am,” replied Betty." Well, then, heard, a delicious stillness which the ear be more careful another time,'' said my drinks in as greedily as the late Mr. aunt." Yes, ma'am,” said Betty. Dando used to gulp oysters. It is said Next morning another set was ordered. that when the inhabitants are all asleepThis was not the first, second, or third they can hear one another snore. Here time that my aunt's crockery had come dwelt my Aunt Bridget, kindest of the to an untimely end. My aunt's maids kind, and quietest of the quiet. But had a rare place in her service. They good nature is terribly imposed upon in had high life below stairs in perfection: this wicked world of ours ; and so it was people used to wonder that she did not with Aunt Bridget. Her poulterer, I see how she was imposed upon ; bless her am sure, used to charge her at least ten old heart! she never liked to see what per cent. more than any of the rest of she did not like to see, and so long as his customers, because she never found she could be quiet she was happy. She fault. She was particularly fond of was a living emblem of the Pacific ducks,- very likely from a sympathy Ocean. with her quiet style of locomotion; but But
my Aunt Fidget was quite another she disliked haggling about the price, thing. She only resembled my Aunt and she abhorred the trouble of choosing Bridget in one particular, that is, she had them : so she left it to the man's con- not an ounce of lean about her, but then science to send what he pleased, and to she had no fat neither-she was all skin charge what he pleased. I declare that and bone ; I cannot say for a certainty, I have seen upon her table such wither- but I really believe that she had no mared, wizened, toad-like villains of half- row in her bones--she was as light as a starved ducks, that they looked as if feather, as dry as a stick, and, had it not they had died of the hooping-cough. And been for her pattens, she must have been if ever I happened to say any thing ap- blown away in windy weather. As for proaching to reproach of the poulterer, quiet, she knew not the meaning of the aunt would always make the same reply word; she was flying about from morn-" I don't like to be always finding ing till night, like a faggot in fits, and fault.” It was the same with her wine finding fault with every body and every as it was with her poultry—she used to thing. Her tongue and her toes had no fancy that she had port and sherry, but sinecures. Had she weighed as many she never had any thing better than pounds as my Aunt Bridget weighed Pontac and Cape Madeira. There was stones, she would have worn out half a one luxury of female life which my aunt dozen pair of shoes in a week. I don't never enjoyed-she never had the plea- believe that Aunt Bridget ever saw the sure of scolding the maids. She once inside of her kitchen, or that she knew made the attempt, but it did not succeed. exactly where it was ;, but Aunt Fidget She had a splendid set of Sunday crock- was in all parts of the house at once
done in blue and gold, and by the she saw every thing, heard every thing, remembered every thing, and scolded that I should join her in abusing my about every thing. She was not to be placid Aunt Bridget. Aunt Bridget's imposed upon, either by servants or style of housekeeping was not, perhaps, tradespeople. She kept a sharp look- quite the pink of perfection, but it was out upon them all-she knew when not for me to find fault with it ; and if and where to go to market. Keen was she did sit still all day, she never found her eye for the turn of the scale, and she fault with those who did not; she never took pretty good care that the butcher said any thing evil of any of her neighshould not dab his mutton-chops too bours. Aunt Fidget might be flying hastily in the scale, making momentum about all day like a witch upon a broomtell for weight. I cannot think what she stick; but Aunt Bridget made no wanted with meat, for she looked as if remarks on it, she let her fly. The very she ate nothing but raspings, and drank sight of Aunt Fidget was enough to put nothing but vinegar. Her love of justice one out of breath-she whisked about in the matter of purchasing was so great, from place to place at such a rapid rate, that when her fishmonger sent her home always talking at the rate of nineteen to a pennyworth of sprats, she sent one the dozen. We boys used to say of her back to be changed, because it had but that she never sat long enough in a chair one eye. She had such a strict inventory to warm the cover. But she is gone of all her goods and chattels, that if any requiescat in pace; and that is more one plundered her of a pin, she was sure than ever she did in her lifetime. to find it out. She would miss a pea out of a peck, and she once kept her establishment up half the night to hunt for a EVERY MAN IN HIS HUMOUR. bit of cheese that was lost-it was at last found in the mouse trap. “ You DURING the rage of the last continental extravagant minx,” said she to the maid, war in Europe, occasion - no matter “ here is cheese enough to bait three what-called an honest Yorkshire squire mouse traps ;” and she nearly had her to take a journey to Warsaw. Untrafingers snapt off in her haste
to rescue velled and unknowing, he provided himthe cheese from its prison. I used not self no passport: his business concernto dine with my Aunt Fidget so often as ed himself alone, and what had foreign with my Aunt Bridget, for my Aunt nations to do with him? His route lay Fidget worried my very life out with the through the states of neutral and con. history of every article that was brought tending powers. He landed in Holland to table. She made me undergo the -passed the usual examination ; but, narration of all that she had said, and all insisting that the affairs which brought that the butcher or the poulterer had him there were of a private nature,
he said concerning the purchase of the was imprisoned-questioned-sifted ;provision ; and she used always to tell and appearing to be incapable of deme what was the price of mutton when sign, was at length permitted to pursue her mother was a girl-twopence a pound his journey. for the common pieces, and twopence- To the officer of the guard who con. halfpenny for the prime pieces. More- ducted him to the frontiers he made freover, she always entertained me with an quent complaints of the loss he should account of all her troubles, and with the sustain by the delay. He swore it was sins and iniquities of all her abominable uncivil, and unfriendly, and ungenerous; servants, whom she generally changed five hundred Dutchmen might have traonce a-month. Indeed, had I been in- velled through Great Britain without a clined to indulge her with more of my question,—they never questioned any company, I could not always manage to stranger in Great Britain, nor stopped, find her residence, for she was moving nor imprisoned, nor guarded him. about from place to place, so that it was Roused from his native phlegm by like playing a game at hunt the slipper these reflections on the police of his to endeavour to find her. She once country, the officer slowly drew the actually threatened to leave London alto- pipe from his mouth, and emitting the gether, if she could not find some more smoke, Mynheer,” said he, “when agreeable residence than hitherto it had you first set your foot on the land of been her lot to meet with. But there the Seven United Provinces, you should was one evil in my Aunt Fidget's be- have declared you came hither on affairs haviour which disturbed me more than of commerce ;” and replacing his pipe, any thing else ; she was always expecting relapsed into immoveable taciturnity.
Released from this unsocial compa- forwarded to Potsdam-war is the only nion, he soon arrived at a French post, business of mankind." The acute and where the sentinel of the advanced guard penetrating Frederick soon comprerequested the honour of his permission hended the character of our traveller, to ask for his passports. On his failing and gave him a passport under his own to produce any, he was entreated to hand. “ It is an ignorant, an innocent pardon the liberty he took of conduct- Englishman,” says the veteran ; "the ing him to the commandant—but it was English are unacquainted with military his duty, and he must, however reluct- duties; when they want a general they antly, perform it.
borrow him of me. Monsieur le Commandant received At the barriers of Saxony he was him with cold and pompous politeness. again interrogated. “I am a soldier," He made the usual inquiries; and our said our traveller,“ behold the passport traveller, determined to avoid the error of the first warrior of the age.”—“You which had produced such inconvenience, are a pupil of the destroyer of millions," replied that commercial concerns drew replied the sentinel, “we must send you him to the Continent. “Ma foi,” said to Dresden; and, hark'ee, sir, conceal the commandant, "c'est un negotiant, your passport, as you would avoid being un bourgeois”-take him away to the torn to pieces by those whose husbands, citadel, we will examine him to-morrow, sons, and relations have been wantonly at present we must dress for the come- sacrificed at the shrine of Prussian amdie" Allons."
bition." A second examination at “Monsieur,” said the sentinel, as he Dresden cleared him of suspicion. conducted him to the guard-room, “you Arrived at the frontiers of Poland, he should not have mentioned commerce to flattered himself his troubles were at an Monsieur le Commandant; no gentle- end; but he reckoned without his host. man in France disgraces himself with “ Your business in Poland ?"' interrotrade-we despise traffic; you should gated the officer. have informed Monsieur le Command- " I really don't know, sir." ant, that you entered the dominions of “Not know your own business, sir !" the Grand Monarque to improve in resumed the officer ; “I must conduct dancing, or in singing, or in dressing : you to the Starost." arms are the profession of a man of “ For the love of God," said the weafashion, and glory and accomplishments ried traveller, " take pity on me. I have bis pursuits-Vive le Roi.''
been imprisoned in Holland for being He had the honour of passing the desirous to keep my own affairs to night with a French guard, and the myself ;-I have been confined all night next day was dismissed. Proceeding in a French guard-house, for declaring on his journey, he fell in with a de- myself a merchant ;-I have been comtachment of German Chasseurs. They pelled to ride seven miles behind a Gerdemanded his name, quality, and busi- man dragoon, for professing myself a
He came, he said, to dance, and man of pleasure ;-I have been carried to sing, and to dress. “He is a French- fifty miles a prisoner in Prussia, for acman, said the corporal—"A spy!” knowledging my attachment to ease and cries the sergeant. He was directed to good living ;-İ have been threatened mount behind a dragoon, and carried to with assassination in Saxony, for avow
ing myself a warrior. If you will have There he was soon discharged; but the goodness to let me know how I may not without a word of advice. “We render such an account of myself as not Germans," said the officer, “eat, drink, to give offence, I shall ever consider you and smoke : these are our favourite em. as my friend and protector." ployments ; and had you informed the dragoons you followed no other business, you would have saved them, me, NOTES OF A READER. and yourself, infinite trouble."
He soon approached the Prussian dominions, where his examination was still Love is a passion with which all, in more strict; and on answering that his some degree, have been affected, and is only designs were to eat, and to drink, doubtless universally interesting. In the and to smoke-"To eat! and to drink ! following extracts from “ The Poetry of and to smoke !" exclaimed the officer Life," by Miss Stickney, Love is treated with astonishment. “Sir, you must be poetically-as the “connecting link be
THE POETRY OF LOVE.
tween our intellects and our affections." life, which renders the experience of She says, "all who have touched the others, like our own, a mixture of joy poet's magic pen, have at one time or and sorrow ; but if a being can be found other of their lives made love their theme, in whose happiness is no broken link, and that they have bestowed upon this no chord unstrung, who has no false theme their highest powers, is proof friend, no flattering enemy, no threatensufficient to establish the fact that love ing of infirmity, no flaw in worldly comis of all passions the most poetical; a fort and security; I would answer the fact in no way contradicted or affected question by asking, is human happiness by the vulgar profanation to which this of so firm and durable a nature that, theme more than any other has been once established, it remains unshaken? subjected. All human beings are not No; the summit of earthly felicity is one capable of ambition, of envy, of hate, or of such perilous attainment, that the indeed of any other passion; but all are nearer we see any one approaching it, capable of love, in a greater or less de- the more we long to protect them from gree, and according to certain modifi- the danger to come to stretch out our cations : it follows therefore as a neces- arms, and if we cannot prevent, at least sary consequence, that love should form to break their fall. We feel towards a favourite and familiar theme, with mul- such an one, that the day will come when titudes who know nothing of its refine- they may want a real friend, a firm supments, and high capabilities.
port, a true comforter, and we hasten “ It seems to me that love originates the bond that unites our fate with theirs, in a mixture of admiration and pity. that we may be ready in the days of trial Without some feeling of admiration, no and woe.' sentient being could first begin to love ; “ The first effect which love produces and without some touch of pity, love upon the imagination is that of exalting would be deficient in its character of or ennobling its object, and upon the tenderness, and that irresistible desire principle of adaptation, it consequently to serve the object, which impels to the extends a similar influence over the mind most extraordinary acts of disinterested- where it exists. Under favourable cirness and devotion. I grant that after cumstances, and before it reaches the love has once taken possession of the crisis of its fate, it has a natural tendency heart, it becomes a sort of instinct, and to smooth down the aspérities of the can then maintain an existence too mi. temper, to soften the manners, and to serable, and degraded, for a name, long diffuse a general feeling of cheerfulness after admiration and even pity have and good will even beyond the sphere of become extinct. But in the first instance its immediate object. But under cirthere must be some quality we admire cumstances of an opposite description, to attract our attention and win our love is remarkable for exhibiting in its favour, and there must be some deficiency train all the evil and frailty which belong in the happiness of this object, which we to our nature. We are seldom betrayed think we can supply, or we should never by any other passion to throw aside dream of attaching ourselves to it. It entirely that veil, beyond which pride may be asked since love sometimes fixes conceals her hidden store of private itself upon an inferior object, degraded faults, and follies. But love is stronger below the possession of dignity or virtue, than pride ; and it is besides so absorbwhere then can be the admiration ? I ing in its nature, that we are apt to foranswer, that in such cases the mind that get while devoting ourselves to one obloves must be degraded too, and conse- ject, the figure we are exhibiting to the quently it is subject to call evil good, eyes of the world, the secrets we are disand may thus discover qualities admir- closing, and the open revelation we are able to its perverted vision, which a more making of our · heart of hearts.' discriminating eye would turn from with " • Love,' says a popular and powerful disgust. Again, it is still more reason- writer, 'is a very noble and exalting senable to ask when love is fixed upon an timent in its first germ and principle. object apparently the centre of happiness, We never loved without arraying the to which prosperity in every shape is object in all the glories of moral as well ministering, where then can be the pity ? as physical perfection, and deriving a We all know that the appearance of hap- kind of dignity to ourselves from our 'piness is deceitful, and we all suspect capacity of admiring a creature so excelthat even under the flattering aspect, lent and dignified, but this lavish and there is a mingled yarn in the web of magnificent prodigality of the imagina