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Horses (thou say'st) and asses men may try,
And ring suspected vessels ere they buy;
But wives, a random choice, untry'd they take;
They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake;
Then, nor till then, the veil is mov'd away,
And all the woman glares in open day.

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You tell me, to preserve your wife's good grace, Your eyes must always languish on my face, Your tongue with constant flatt'ries feed my ear, And tag each sentence with My life! my dear! If by strange chance a modest blush be rais'd, Be sure my fine complexion must be prais❜d. My garments always must be new and gay, And feasts still kept upon my wedding-day; Then must my nurse be pleas'd, and fav'rite maid; And endless treats and endless visits paid To a long train of kindred, friends, allies: All this thou say'st, and all thou says't are lies. On Jenkin, too, you cast a squinting eye : What! can your 'prentice raise your jealousy? Fresh are his ruddy cheeks, his forehead fair, And like the burnish'd gold his curling hair; But clear thy wrinkled brow, and quit thy sorrow, I'd scorn your 'prentice should you die to-morrow.

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Why are thy chests all lock'd? on what design? Are not thy worldly goods and treasures mine? 125

Sir, I'm no fool; nor shall you, by St. John,
Have goods and body to yourself alone.
One you shall quit in spite of both your eyes-
I heed not, I, the bolts, the locks, the spies.

If you had wit, you'd say, "Go where you will, 130
"Dear spouse! I credit not the tales they tell :
"Take all the freedoms of a marry'd life;
"I know thee for a virtuous faithful wife."

Lord! when you have enough what need you care How merrily soever others fare?

Tho' all the day I give and take delight, Doubt not sufficient will be left at night. "Tis but a just and rational desire

To light a taper at a neighbour's fire.

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There's danger too, you think, in rich array, 140 And none can long be modest that are gay.

The cat, if you but singe her tabby skin,
The chimney keeps, and sits content within ;
But once grown sleek will from her corner run,

Sport with her tail, and wanton in the sun :
She licks her fair round face, and frisks abroad
To shew her fur, and to be caterwaul'd.

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Lo thus, my friends, I wrought to my desires
These three right ancient venerable sires.
I told 'em, Thus you say and thus you do ;
I told 'em false, but Jenkin swore 'twas true.

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I, like a dog, could bite as well as whine,

And first complain'd whene'er the guilt was mine. I tax'd them oft' with wenching and amours,

When their weak legs scarce dragg'd them out of doors;

And swore the rambles that I took by night

Were all to spy what damsels they bedight:
That colour brought me many hours of mirth;
For all this wit is giv'n us from our birth.
Heav'n gave to woman the peculiar grace
To spin, to weep, and cully human race.
By this nice conduct and this prudent course,
By murm'ring, wheedling, stratagem, and force,
I still prevail'd, and would be in the right,
Or curtain-lectures made a restless night.
If once my husband's arm was o'er my side,
What! so familiar with your spouse! I cry'd:
I levy'd first a tax upon his need;
Then let him-'twas a nicety indeed!

Let all mankind this certain maxim hold,
Marry who will, our sex is to be sold.
With empty hands no tassels you can lure,
But fulsome love for gain we can endure ;
For gold we love the impotent and old,

And heave, and pant, and kiss, and cling, for gold.
Yet with embraces curses oft' I mixt,

Then kiss'd again, and chid, and rail'd betwixt.

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Well, I may make my will in peace, and die,

For not one word in man's arrears am I.
To drop a dear dispute I was unable,

Ev'n tho' the Pope himself had sat at table;

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But when my point was gain'd, then thus I spoke ; "Billy, my dear! how sheepishly you look! "Approach, my spouse! and let me kiss thy cheek; "Thou shouldst be always thus, resign'd and meek. "Of Job's great patience since so oft you preach, "Well should you practice who so well can teach. ""Tis difficult to do, I must allow,

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"But I, my dearest! will instruct you how. "Great is the blessing of a prudent wife, "Who puts a period to domestic strife. "One of us two must rule and one obey; "And since in man right reason bears the sway, "Let that frail thing, weak woman, have her way. "The wives of all my family have rul'd "Their tender husbands, and their passions cool'd. "Fy! 'tis unmanly thus to sigh and groan : "What! would you have me to yourself alone? "Why, take me, Love! take all and ev'ry part! "Here's your revenge! you love it at your heart. "Would I vouchsafe to sell what nature gave, "You little think what custom I could have.

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"But see! I'm all your own-nay hold-for shame! "What means my dear?-indeed-you are to blame."

Thus with my first three lords I pass'd my life,
A very woman and a very wife.

What sums from these old spouses I could raise
Procur'd young husbands in my riper days.

Tho' past my bloom, yet not decay'd was I,
Wanton and wild, and chatter'd like a pie.
In country dances still I bore the bell,
And sung as sweet as ev'ning Philomel.
To clear my quail-pipe and refresh my soul,
Full oft' I drain'd the spicy nut brown bowl;
Rich luscious wines, that youthful blood improve,
And warm the swelling veins to feats of love:
For 'tis as sure as cold engenders hail,

A liqu'rish mouth must have a lech'rous tail:
Wine lets no lover unrewarded go,

As all true gamesters by experience know.

But oh, good Gods! whene'er a thought I cast
On all the joys of youth and beauty past,
To find in pleasures I have had my part,

Still warms me to the bottom of my heart.

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This wicked world was once my dear delight;

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Now all my conquests, all my charms, good night! The flour consum'd, the best that now I can,

Is e'en to make my market of the bran.

My fourth dear spouse was not exceeding true; He kept, 'twas thought, a private miss or two: 230

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