Trims Europe's balance, tops the statesman's part,
And talks Gazettes and Portboys o'er by heart. 155
Like a big wife at sight of loathsome meat,
Ready to cast, I yawn, I sigh and sweat :
Then as a licens'd spy, whom nothing can
Silence or hurt, he libels the great man;
Swears ev'ry place entaild for years to come 160
In sure succession to the day of doom :
He names the price for ev'ry office paid,
And says our wars thri ill because delay'd :
Nay hints 'tis by connivance of the Court
That Spain robs on, and Dunkirk's still a port. 165
Not more amazement feiz'd on Circe's guests,
To see themselves fall endlong into beasts,
Than mine, to find a subject, ftay'd and wise,
Already half-turn'd traitor by surprize.
I felt th' infection side from him to me,

170
As in the pox fome give it to get free ;
Speaks of all states and deeds that have been since
The Spaniards came to th’ loss of Amyens.
Like a big wife, at sight of loathed meat,
Ready to travail, so I sigh and fweat
To hear this makaron talk in vain ; for yet,
Either my humour or his own to fit,
He, like a privileg'd spy, whom nothing can
Discredit, libels now 'gainst each great man.
He names a price for ev'ry office paid:
He faith, our wars thrive ill, because delay'd;
That offices are in tail, and that there are
Perpetuities of them lasting as far
As the last day, and that great officers
Do with the Spaniards share and Dunkirkers.
Who wastes in meat, in cloaths, in horse he notes ;
Who loves whores ..
I, more amaz’d than Circe's prisoners, when
They felt themselves turn beasts, felt myself then
Becoming traitor, and methought I saw
One of our giant statues ope his jaw
To fuck me in for hearing him : I found,
That as burnt venomous Teachers do grow sound

And quick to swallow me methought I saw
One of our giant ftatues ope its jaw.

In that nice moment, as another lie
Stood just a-tilt, the mintter came by.

175 To him he flies, and bows, and bows again, Then, close as Umbra, joins the dirty train. Not Fannius' self more impudently near, When half his nose is in his prince's ear. I quak'd at heart; and, ftill afraid to see 180 All the Court fillid with stranger things than he, Ran out as fast as one that pays his bail, And dreads more actions, hurries from a jail.

- Bear me, some God! oh! quickly bear me hence To wholesome solitude, the nurse of fenfe, 185 Where Contemplation prunes her ruffi'd wings, And the free foul looks down to pity kings !

By giving others their fores, I might grow
Guilty, and he free : therefore I did show
All signs of loathing; but since I am in,
I must pay mine and my forefathers' fin
To the last farthing: therefore to my power
Toughly and stubbornly I bear this cross: but th' hour
Of mercy now was come : he tries to bring
Me to pay a fine to 'scape his torturing,
And says, Sir, can you spare me-? I said, willingly.
Nay, Sir, can you spare me a crown? Thankfully I
Gave it as ransom. But as fiddlers still,
Tho' they be paid to be gone, yet needs will
Thrust one more jigg upon you ; so did he
With his long conplemental thanks vex me.
But he is gone, thanks to his needy want,
And the prerogative of my crown. Scant
His thanks were ended, when I (which did see
All the court fill'd with such strange things as he)
Ran from thence with such or more hajte than one
Who fears more actions doth hafte from prison.
At home in wholesome folitariness
My piteous soul began the wretchedness

190

200

There sober thought purlu'd th’amusing theme,
Till fancy colourd it, and form'd a dream.
A vision hermits can to hell transport,
And forc'd e'en me to see the damnd at Court.
Not Dante, dreaming all th' infernal itate,
Beheld fuch scenes of envy, sın, and hate.
Base fear becomes the guilty, not the free,
Suits tyrants, plunderers, but suits not me.

195
Shall I, the terror of this sinful Town,
Care if a liv'ry lord or smile or frowni ?
Who cannot flatter, and detest who can,
Tremble before a noble ferving-man?
O my fair mistress, Truth! shall I quit thee
For huffing, braggart, puft nobility ?
Thou who, fince yesterday, haft rolld o'er all
The busy idle blockheads of the ball,
Hast thou, oh Sun! beheld an emptier fort
Than such as swell this bladder of a Court?

205
Now pox on those who shew a court in wax!
It ought to bring all courtiers on their backs;
Such painted puppets ! such a varnish'd race
Of hollow gewgaws, only dress and face!
Of suitors at Court to mourn, and a trance
Like his who dreamt he saw hell did advance
Itself o'er me: such men as he saw there
I saw at Court, and worse, and more. Low fear
Becomes the guilty, not th' accuser; then
Shall I, none's llave, of high born or rais'd men
Fear frowns, and, my mistress, 'Truth! betray thee
To th' huffing, braggart, puft nobilitie?
No, no; thou which since yesterday haft been
Almost about the whole world, hait thou seen,
O Sun' in all thy journey, vanity,
Such as swells the bladder of our Court? I
Thinks he which made your waxen garden, and

Transported it from Italy, to stand
With us at London, fiouts our courtiers; for
Just such gay painted things, which no fap nor

Such waxen noses, itately Itaring things 210
No wonder some folks bow, and think them kings.

See! where the British youth, engag'd no more
At Fig's, at White's, with felons, or a whore,
Pay their last duty to the Court, and come
All fresh and fragrant to the drawing room, 215
In hues as gay, and odours as divine,
As the fair fields they sold to look so fine.
That's velvet for a king! the flatt'rer twears;
'Tis true, for ten days hence 'twill be King Lear’s.
Our Court may justly to our stage give rules,
That helps it both to fools'-coats and to fools.
And why not players ftrut in courtiers' clothes ?
For these are actors too as weil as those.
Wants reach all states; they beg but better dreft,
And all his splendid poverty'at best.

Painted for fight, and essenc'd for the smell,
Like frigates fraught with spice and cochineal,
Sail in the ladies : how each pirate eyes
So weak a vessel and so rich a prize!

220

225

Taite have in them, ours are; and natural
Some of the stocks are, their fruits bastard all.
'Tis ten a-clock, and past; all whom the meule,
Baloun, tennis, diet, or the stews
Had all the morning held, now the second
Time made ready, that day in flocks are found
In the presence, and I, (God pardon me!)
As fresh and sweet their apparels be, as be
The fields they sold to buy them. For a king
Thole hose are, cries the flatt'rer; and bring
Them next week to the theatre to sell.
Wants reach all states. Me seems they do as well
At stage as Court. All are players; whoe'er looks
(For themselves dare not go) o'er Cheapside bouk sy
Shall find their wardrobe's inventory. Now
The ladies come. As pirates, which do know
That there came weak ships fraught with cochineal,

The men board them, and praise (as they think) well
Their beauties ; they the mens' wits : both are bought.
Why good wits: ne'er wear scarlet gowns I thought.

Top-gallant he and she in all her trim,

230 He boarding her, the striking fail to him. Dear Countess! you have charms all hearts to hit! And, sweet Sir Fopling! you have so much wit! Such wits and beauties are not prais'd for nought, For both the beauty and the wit are bought. 235 'Twould burit e'en Heraclitus with the spleen To see those antics, Fopling and Courtin: The presence seems, with things so richly odd, The mosque of Mahound, or some queer pagod. See them survey their limbs by Durer's rules, 240 Of all beau-kind the best proportion'd fools ! Adjust their clothes, and to confession draw Those venial fins, an atom, or a straw: But, oh! what terrours must distract the soul Convicted of that mortal crimea hole ?

245 Or should one pound of powder less bespread Those monkey tails that wag behind their head; Thus finish'd, and corrected to a hair, They march, to prate their hour before the fair. So first to preach a white.glov’d chaplain goes, With band of lily, and with cheek of rose, This cause; these men mens' wits for speeches buy, And women buy all reds which scarlets dye. He call'd her beauty lime-twigs, her hair net : She fears her drugs ill laid, her hair loose fet, Would n't Heraclitus laugh to see Macrine From hat to shoe himself at door refine, As if the presence were a Mofchite; and lift His skirts and hose, and call his clothes to shift, Making them confefs not only mortal Great itains and holes in them, but venial Feathers and dust, wherewith they fornicate ? And then by Durer's rules survey the state Of his each limb, and with strings the odds tries Of his neck to his leg, and wait to thighs. So in immaculate clothes and lymmetry Perfect as circles, with such nicety

250