Mark Twain's Library of HumorC. L. Webster, 1888 - 707 страници |
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Страница 60
... replied the farmer . " These items are both . No- body knows ' em but me . I got a farm down on the island a piece , and there's lots of snakes on it . Near the house is a pond , about six feet deep . A week ago my little girl jumped ...
... replied the farmer . " These items are both . No- body knows ' em but me . I got a farm down on the island a piece , and there's lots of snakes on it . Near the house is a pond , about six feet deep . A week ago my little girl jumped ...
Страница 61
... replied the city editor . He looked thin , other to take his " You can fill in about the confidence of childhood and all that , and you might say something about the blue - eyed cherub . His name is Isaac . Put that in to please my wife ...
... replied the city editor . He looked thin , other to take his " You can fill in about the confidence of childhood and all that , and you might say something about the blue - eyed cherub . His name is Isaac . Put that in to please my wife ...
Страница 64
... replied the office- boy . " Major Dennett made that a rule long time ago . " " It is not a bad idea , " said Major Hurlbut , " for it gives one a dignity and prestige which can never maintain among untitled civilians . So this is the ...
... replied the office- boy . " Major Dennett made that a rule long time ago . " " It is not a bad idea , " said Major Hurlbut , " for it gives one a dignity and prestige which can never maintain among untitled civilians . So this is the ...
Страница 66
... replied Major Dennett ; " I am con- nected with this paper , and have been managing editor for years . ' Major Hurlbut's manner changed instantly . His cold reserve melted at once , and he became docile as a sucking - dove . " My dear ...
... replied Major Dennett ; " I am con- nected with this paper , and have been managing editor for years . ' Major Hurlbut's manner changed instantly . His cold reserve melted at once , and he became docile as a sucking - dove . " My dear ...
Страница 67
... replied Major Magee ; " but they said they had headaches . " 66 " They should try bromide of potassium , tincture of valerian . and aromatic spirits of ammonia , " observed Major Hurlbut . ' By the way , whenever any of our editors or ...
... replied Major Magee ; " but they said they had headaches . " 66 " They should try bromide of potassium , tincture of valerian . and aromatic spirits of ammonia , " observed Major Hurlbut . ' By the way , whenever any of our editors or ...
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agin ain't ARTEMUS WARD asked began Brer Fox Brer Rabbit calamus root called Captain cayote Colonel Grice dear dollars door eyes father feel feet feller folks give goin gone Governor Dorr Grand Vizier hand head heard heart Hodja horse hoss hour JOSH BILLINGS Josiah Kitty knew lady laugh looked MARK TWAIN Mimir mind Miss morning never night nothin once Pedrigo person Peterkin Phil Adams Potiphar pretty Pumpilion remark replied Rip Van Winkle round seemed sezee Shipwreck Clerk Simon smile soon sort stood story sure talk tell thar there's thet thing thought tion told took turned Uncle Uncle Ben Uncle Remus W. D. HOWELLS walked Washington woman word young
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Страница 506 - Fifty-five! This morning the parson takes a drive. Now, small boys, get out of the way! Here comes the wonderful one-hoss shay, Drawn by a rat-tailed, ewe-necked bay. "Huddup!" said the parson.— Off went they. The parson was working his Sunday's text,— Had got to fifthly, and stopped perplexed At what the— Moses— was coming next. All at once the horse stood still, Close by the meet'n'-house on the hill.
Страница 158 - Nicholas Vedder?" There was a silence for a little while, when an old man replied, in a thin piping voice, "Nicholas Vedder! why, he is dead and gone these eighteen years! There was a wooden tombstone in the church-yard that used to tell all about him, but that's rotten and gone too.
Страница 87 - Which is why I remark, And my language is plain, That for ways that are dark, And for tricks that are vain, The heathen Chinee is peculiar — Which the same I am free to maintain.
Страница 357 - O Woman ! in our hours of ease, Uncertain, coy, and hard to please, And variable as the shade By the light quivering aspen made, When pain and anguish wring the brow, A ministering angel thou ! — Scarce were the piteous accents said, When, with the Baron's casque, the maid To the nigh streamlet ran.
Страница 545 - In such a night Did Thisbe fearfully o'ertrip the dew And saw the lion's shadow ere himself And ran dismay'd away. Lor. In such a night Stood Dido with a willow in her hand Upon the wild sea banks and waft her love To come again to Carthage.
Страница 505 - He would build one shay to beat the taown 'n' the keounty 'n' all the kentry raoun' ; It should be so built that it couldn' break daown : " Fur," said the Deacon, " 't 's mighty plain Thut the weakes' place mus' stan' the strain ; 'n' the way t' fix it, uz I maintain, Is only jest T' make that place uz strong uz the rest.
Страница 98 - Zekle crep' up quite unbeknown An' peeked in thru' the winder, An' there sot Huldy all alone, 'Ith no one nigh to hender. A fireplace filled the room's one side With half a cord o' wood in — There warn't no stoves (tell comfort died) To bake ye to a puddin'.
Страница 89 - But the hands that were played By that heathen Chinee, And the points that he made, Were quite frightful to see, — Till at last he put down a right bower, Which the same Nye had dealt unto me. Then I looked up at Nye, And he gazed upon me ; And he rose with a sigh, And said, " Can this be? We are ruined by Chinese cheap labour," — And he went for that heathen Chinee.
Страница 151 - From even this strong-hold the unlucky Rip was at length routed by his termagant wife, who would suddenly break in upon the tranquillity of the assemblage and call the members all to naught ; nor was that august personage, Nicholas Vedder himself, sacred from the daring tongue of this terrible virago, who charged him outright with encouraging her husband in habits of idleness.
Страница 149 - Rip's sole domestic adherent was his dog Wolf, who was as much henpecked as his master ; for Dame Van Winkle regarded them as companions in idleness, and even looked upon Wolf with an evil eye, as the cause of his master's going so often astray.