trifling squib which was written in ridicule of my work. • Receive my thanks for the honour you have done me, and believe me on this, and all other occasions, your servant at command, MICHAEL POLUMATHES.' Such being the answer of my friend Mr. Michael Polumathes, my intention of giving to the world a treatise upon so interesting a subject is frustrated; and I have room left to recommend to their notice the letters of two other correspondents. 'I should be very much obliged to you or any person who would define to me the meaning of a very common phrase,." He's a dry fellow." It is a mode of expression which all people use, and many, I dare say, understand: I own, I do not. As I was coming out of Whitehall, a few Sundays ago, I met a friend at the door, who asked me what the doctor had been preaching about: I told him, as near as I could guess, about twenty-five minutes. He immediately put me down, as he said, for a dry fellow. It was in vain that I assured him I was not dry: he insisted upon it I was, and he should reckon me so as long as I lived. I was some time after relating to him what I thought a bon-mot of a man, who, being advised to enlarge his house, because (as his adviser observed) he had not room to swing a cat, simply replied, "I don't want to swing a cat." He heard my story, and then affirmed, that I had a set of the dryest acquaintance of any man he knew. I repeatedly endeavoured to bring him to an explanation, but to no purpose: all I could get from him was," a cursed dry fellow-a dry dog indeed." Now if this phrase has no meaning, it should be abolished : if it has any, I should take it as a great favour if it might be no longer concealed from the vulgar; of which I confess myself one. JERRY SIMPLE.' • To The AUTHOR OF THE OLLA PODRIDA. 6 a up • SIR, I to a small inn, where all was bustle and confusion by the arrival of some great family, with their numerous retinue; but what claimed most attention was the accident of a favourite dog, who was trod on by one of the horses turning short; whether it was by chance, or whether it again proved that a favourite has no friends, was not for me to decide : a glass of brandy was called for: a common gill, enough to warm a poor man in a cold morning, was rejected as insufficient; and nothing would do but a tumbler full, to bathe Pero's foot in: it was afterward rubbed with Friar's balsam, bound with rags, and committed to the care of Mrs. Betty, to travel in the coach with her. I admire compassion wherever I see it exerted through the wide sphere of sensitive life; but our refinement may be carried too far, and that sympathizing attention which humanity demands, be squandered on the brute creation. I knew an old maiden lady, whose tears could tenderly flow at the relation of the sufferings of a cat, but who did not exhibit any active benevolence at the call of the wants of her poor or suffering neighbours. Yet she could readily excuse herself by unremitting attention to her favourite animals. Let them be provided for according to their condition; yet we must remember that there are duties of humanity belonging to a higher class ; and we shall find but small excuse in the judgment of enlightened reason, if we urge our regard to inferior obligations, while those of a superior kind are negJected. I am, yours, &c. VIATOR.' Monro, except the last Letter by AGUTTER. N° 7. SATURDAY, APRIL 28, 1787. Servatà semper lege et ratione loquendi.—JYVENAL. The different writers, who have obliged the world with memoirs of Dr. Johnson, all agree to inform us, that he esteemed conversation to be the comfort of life. He himself, indeed, in an Idler, has not scrupled to compare it to a bowl of that liquor, which, under the direction of Mr. Brydone, so deservedly engaged the attention of the Sicilian clergy; and in the composition of which, while the spirit is duly tempered by water, and the acid sufficiently corrected by sugar, the ingredients wonderfully conspire to form the most delicious beverage known among mortals. But whether it be that the requisites for producing conversation, like those for making punch, are not always to be had, or are not good in their kind, or not properly mixed, certain it is that in the former case, as in the latter, the operation does not at all times succeed to the satisfaction of the company; nothing being more common than to hear persons complaining, that after many hours passed in this way, they have found neither improvement nor entertainment. Without study or method, I shall set down such thoughts as may occur to my mind, on this most interesting subject. That conversation may answer the ends for which it was designed, the parties, who are to join in it, must come together with a determined resolution to please and to be pleased. If a man feels that an east wind has rendered him dull and sulky, he should by all means stay at home till the wind changes, and not be troublesome to his friends; for dulness is infectious, and one sour face will make many, as one cheerful countenance is soon productive of others. If two gentlemen desire to quarrel, it should not be done in a company met to enjoy the pleasures of conversation. Let a stage be erected for the purpose, in a proper place, to which the ju . risdiction of the Middlesex magistrates doth not reach. There let Martin and Mendoza mount, accompanied by Ben and Johnson, and attended by the amateurs, who delight to behold blows neatly laid in, ribs and jaw-bones elegantly broken, and eyes sealed up with delicacy and address. It is obvious, for these reasons, that he, who is about to form a conversation party, should be careful to invite men of congenial minds, and of similar ideas respecting the entertainment of which they are to partake, and to which they must contribute. With gloomy persons, gloomy topics likewise should be (as indeed they will be) excluded, such as ill-health, bad weather, bad news, or forebodings of such, &c. &c. To preserve the temper calm and pleasant, it is of unspeakable importance, that we always accustom ourselves through life to make the best of things, to view them on their bright side, and so represent them to others, for our mutual comfort and encouragement. Few things (especially if, as Christians, we take the other world into the account) but have a bright side: diligence and practice will easily find it. Perhaps there is no circumstance better calculated than this, to render conversation equally pleasing and profitable. In the conduct of it, be not eager to interrupt others, or uneasy at being yourself interrupted ; since you speak either to amuse or instruct the company, or to receive those benefits from it. Give all, therefore, leave to speak in turn. Hear with patience, and answer with precision. Inattention is ill manners : it shews contempt; and contempt is never forgiven. Trouble not the company with your own private concerns, as you do not love to be troubled with those of others. Yours are as little to them as theirs are to you. You will need no other rule whereby to judge of this matter. Contrive, but with dexterity and propriety, that each person may have an opportunity of discoursing on the subject with which he is best acquainted. He will be pleased, and you will be informed. By observing this rule, every one has it in his power to assist in rendering conversation agreeable; since, though he may not choose, or be qualified to say much himself, he can propose questions to those who are able to answer them. Avoid stories, unless short, pointed, and quite a-propos. “He who deals in them,' says Swift, 'must either have a very large stock, or a good memory, or must often change his company.' Some have a set of them strung together like onions : they take possession of the conversation, by an early introduction of one; and then you must have the whole rope, and there is an end of every thing else, perhaps, for that meeting, though you may have heard all twenty times before. Talk often, but not long. The talent of haranguing in private company is insupportable. Senators and . |