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AREFUL obfervers may foretel the hour
(By fure prognoftics) when to dread a shower.
While rain depends, the penfive cat gives o'er
Her frolicks, and purfues her tail no more.
Returning home at night, you'll find the fink
Strike your offended fenfe with double ftink.
If you be wife, then go not far to dine;

You'll spend in coach-hire more than fave in wine.
A coming fhower your fhooting corns prefage,
Old aches will throb, your hollow tooth will rage;
Sauntering in coffee-house is Dulman seen;
He damns the climate, and complains of spleen.
Meanwhile the fouth, rifing with dabbled wings,
A fable cloud athwart the welkin flings,
That fwill'd more liquor than it could contain,
And, like a drunkard, gives it up again.
Brifk Sufan whips her linen from the rope,
While the first drizzling shower is borne aflope
Such is that sprinkling which some careless quean
Flirts on you from her mop, but not so clean!
You fly, invoke the gods; then, turning, ftop
To rail; she, finging, ftill whirls on her mop.
Not
yet the duft had shunn'd th' unequal ftrife,
But, aided by the wind, fought ftill for life,

And,

And, wafted with its foe by violent guft,

'Twas doubtful which was rain, and which was duft.
Ah! where muft needy poet feek for aid,
When duft and rain at once his coat invade?
Sole coat 1 where dust cemented by the rain
Erects the nap, and leaves a cloudy stain !

Now in contiguous drops the flood comes down,"
Threatening with deluge this devoted town.
To fhops in crouds the daggled females fly,
Pretend to cheapen goods, but nothing buy.
The templar fpruce, while every fpout 's abroach,
Stays till 'tis fair, yet feems to call a coach.
The tuck'd-up femftrefs walks with hasty strides,
While ftreams run down her oil'd umbrella's fides.
Here various kinds, by various fortunes led,
Commence acquaintance underneath a shed.
Triumphant Tories, and defponding Whigs
Forget their feuds, and join to fave their wigs.
Box'd in a chair, the beau impatient fits,
While fpouts run clattering o'er the roof by fits,
And ever and anon with frightful din

The leather founds; he trembles from within.
So when Troy chairmen bore the wooden fteed,
Pregnant with Greeks impatient to be freed,
(Those bully Greeks, who, as the moderns do,
Inftead of paying chairmen, ran them through),
Laocoon ftruck the outfide with his fpear,
And each imprison'd hero quak'd for fear.

Now from all parts the fwelling kennels flow,
And bear their trophies with them as they go :

Filths of all hues and odours feem to tell

What ftreet they fail'd from by their fight and finell.
They, as each torrent drives, with rapid force,
From Smithfield or St 'Pulchre's fhape their courfe,
And in huge confluence join'd at Snowhill ridge,
Fall from the conduit prone to Holbourn bridge.
Sweepings from butchers' ftalls, dung, guts, and
blood,

Drown'd puppies, ftinking fprats, all drench'd in mud,

Dead cats, and "turnip-tops, come tumbling down the flood.

ON THE LITTLE HOUSE BY THE CHURCH-YARD OF CASTLENOCK. 1710.

WHOEVER pleafeth to enquire

Why yonder steeple wants a fpire,

The grey old fellow poet * Joe
The philofophic caufe will show.
Once on time a western blast
At least twelve inches overcaft,
Reckoning roof, weathercock; and all,
Which came with a prodigious fall;
And tumbling topfy-turvy round
Light with its bottom on the ground.
For, by the laws of gravitation,

It fell into its

proper ftation.

*Mr. Beaumont of Trim.

This is the little ftrutting pile,

You fee juft by the church-yard file;
The walls in tumbling gave a knock';
And thus the steeple got a fhock;

From whence the neighbouring farmer calls,
The fteeple, Knock; the vicar,

Walls
The vicar once a week creeps in,
Sits with his knees up to his chin;
Here comms his notes,, and takes a whet,
Till the final ragged flock is met.
A traveller, who by did pafs,..
Obferv'd the roof behind the grafs ;
On tiptoe flood, and rear'd his fnout,
And faw the parfon creeping out;
Was much furpriz'd to fee a crow
Venture to build his neft fo low.

A fchool-boy ran unto 't, and thought,
The crib was down, the blackbird caught.
A third, who loft his way by night,
Was forc'd for fafety to alight,
And, ftepping o'er the fabric-roof,
His horfe had like to fpoil his hoof.
Warburton took it in his noddle,
This building was defign'd a model
Or of a pigeon-houfe, or oven,..

To bake one loaf, and keep one dove in.
Then Mrs Johnson I gave her verdict,
And every one was pleas'd that heard it :.

*Archdeacon Wall, a correfpondent of Swift's.
+ Dr. Swift's curate at Laracor."

Stella.

All that

you make this ftir about

Is but a still which wants a fpout.
The reverend Dr. * Raymond guess'd
More probably than all the rest;
He faid, but that it wanted room,
It might have been a pigmy's tomb.
The doctor's family came by,
And little mifs began to cry ;
Give me that houfe in my own hand!
Then madam bade the chariot ftand,
Call'd to the clerk, in manner mild,
Pray, reach that thing here to the child::
That thing, I mean, among the kale;
And here's to buy a pot of ale.

The clerk faid to her, in a heat,
What! fell my mafter's country feat,
Where he comes every week from town!
He would not fell it for a crown.
Poh! fellow, keep not fuch a pother;
In half an hour thou 'lt make another.
Says Nancy, I can make for miss
A finer house ten times than this;
The dean will give me willow-sticks,
And Joe my apron-full of bricks.

Minifter of Trim.

The waiting-woman.

THE