Might make the Lufitanian grape to pass,
And almost give a fanction to the glass;
Especially with thee, whofe hafty zeal
Against the late rejected commerce-bill
Made thee rife up, like an audacious elf,
To do the fpeaker honour, not thyself.
But, if thou foar'st above the common prices, By virtue of fubfcription to thy Crifis,
And nothing can go down with thee, but wines
Prefs'd from Burgundian and Campanian vines,
Bid them be brought; for, though I hate the French,
I love their liquors, as thou lov'st a wench;
Elfe thou muft humble thy expensive taste,
And, with us, hold contentment for a feaft.
The fire's already lighted; and the maid
Has a clean cloth upon the table laid,
Who never on a Saturday had struck,
But for thy entertainment, up a buck.
Think of this act of grace, which by your leave
Sufan would not have done on Eafter Eve,
Had fhe not been inform'd over and over,
'Twas for th' ingenious Author of The Lover.
Ceafe therefore to beguile thyfelf with hopes,
Which is no more than making fandy ropes,
And quit the vain purfuit of loud applaufe,
That muft bewilder thee in faction's caufe.
Pry'thee what is 't to thee who guides the ftate?
Why Dunkirk's demolition is fo late?
Or why her majesty thinks fit to cease
The din of war, and hush the world to peace?
The clergy too, without thy aid, can tell
What texts to chufe, and on what topicks dwell;
And, uninstructed by thy babbling, teach
Their flocks celestial happiness to reach.
Rather let fuch poor fouls as you and I
Say that the holydays are drawing nigh,
And that to-morrow's fun begins the week,
Which will abound with store. of ale and cake,
With hams of bacon, and with powder'd beef,
Stuff'd to give field-itinerants relief.
Then I, who have within these precincts kept,
And ne'er beyond the chimney-fweeper's ftept,
Will take a loofe, and venture to be feen,
Since 'twill be Sunday, upon Shanks's green;
There, with erected looks and phrafe fublime,
To talk of unity of place and time,
And with much malice, mix'd with little fatire,
Explode the wits on t'other fide o'th' water.
Why has my lord Godolphin's fpecial grace
Invested me with a queen's-waiter's place,
lf I, debarr'd of festival delights,
Am not allow'd to spend the perquifites?
He's but a short remove from being mad,
Who at a time of jubilee is fad,
And, like a griping ufurer, does fpare
His money to be fquander'd by his heir;
Flutter'd away in liveries and in coaches,
And washy forts of feminine debauches.
As for my part, whate'er the world may think,
I'll bid adieu to gravity, and drink ;
And, though I can't put off a woeful mien,
Will be all mirth and cheerfulness within:
As, in defpight of a cenforious race,
I most incontinently fuck my face.
What mighty projects does not he defign,
Whofe ftomach flows, and brain turns round with wine?
Wine, powerful wine, can thaw the frozen cit,
And fashion him to humour and to wit;
Makes even S**** to disclose his art,
By racking every fecret from his heart,
As he flings off the statesman's fly disguise,
To name the cuckold's wife with whom he lies.
Ev'n Sarum, when he quaffs it ftead of tea,
Fancies himself in Canterbury's fee,
And S****** when he carousing reels,
Imagines that he has regain'd the feals :
W******
**, by virtue of its juice, can fight,
And Stanhope of commiffioners make light.
Wine gives lord William aptitude of parts,
And fwells him with his family's deferts :
Whom can it not make eloquent of speech?
Whom in extremeft poverty not rich?
Since, by the means of the prevailing grape,
Th****n can Lechmere's warmth not only ape,
But, half-feas-o'er, by its infpiring bounties,
Can qualify himself in feveral counties.
What I have promis'd, thou mayst rest assur'd,
Shall faithfully and gladly be procur'd.
Nay, I'm already better than my word,
New plates and knives adorn the jovial board :
And, left thou at their fight shouldft make wry faces,
The girl has fcower'd the pots, and wash'd the glaffes,
Ta'en care fo excellently well to clean 'em,
That thou mayft fee thine own dear picture in 'em.
Moreover, due provifion has been made,
That converfation may not be betray'd;
I have no company but what is proper
To fit with the most flagrant Whig at supper.
There's not a man among them but must please,
Since they're as like each other as are peas.
Toland and Hare have jointly fent me word,
They'll come; and Kennet thinks to make a third, 150
Provided he 'as no other invitation,
From men of greater quality and station.
Room will for Oldmixon and J-s be left;
But their difcourfes fmell too much of theft:
There would be no abiding in the room,
Should two fuch ignorant pretenders come.
However, by this trufty bearer write,
If I should any other scabs invite ;
Though if I may my ferious judgement give,
I'm wholly for King Charles's number five :
That was the ftint in which that monarch fix'd,
Who would not be with noifinefs perplex'd:
And that, if thou 'it agree to think it beft,
Shall be our tale of heads, without one other gueft.
I've nothing more, now this is faid, to fay,
But to request thou 'lt inftantly away,
And leave the duties of thy prefent poft,
To fome well-fkill'd retainer to a hoft;
Doubtlefs he 'll carefully thy place supply,
And o'er his grace's horfes have an eye.
While thou, who'st flunk through postern more than
Doft by that means avoid a croud of duns,
And, croffing o'er The Thames at Temple-stairs,
Leav't Philips with good words to cheat their ears.
To LORD HARLEY, on his MARRIAGE, 1713. MONG the numbers who employ
Their tongues and pens to give you joy,
Dear Harley generous youth, admit
What friendship dictates more than wit.
Forgive me, when I fondly thought
(By frequent observations taught)
A fpirit fo inform'd as yours
Could never profper in amours.
The God of Wit, and Light, and Arts,
With all acquir'd and natural parts,
Whofe harp could favage beafts enchant,
Was an unfortunate gallant.
Had Bacchus after Daphne reel'd,
The Nymph had foon been brought to yield:
Or, had embroider'd Mars purfued,
The Nymph would ne'er have been a prude.
Ten thousand footsteps, full in view,
Mark out the way where Daphne flew :
For fuch is all the fex's flight,
They fly from learning, wit, and light:
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