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To ease me first I wish'd her to remove :
And begg’d the Court of heaven but in vain
That, whilst both lived, I should entertain,
No help then, but or I must die or she ;
For one death I had died already then,
And twist them both into a third, which when It once hath seized on, never looseth men.
Her death might be my life; but her to kill
Whilst I delay'd, My guest still teem'd, my debts still greater grew; The less I had to pay, the more was due.
The more I knew, the more I was afraid :
At last I learn'd, there was no way but one:
That is the Lord of life, by dying can
His heart was pierced ; out of his side there ran Sins' còrrosives, restoratives for man.
This precious balm I begg’d, for pity's sake,
What Grace and Truth do offer liberally.
Hope waiting upon Faith said instantly,
And so she died, I live. But yet, alas !
Cleaves fast unto me still, looks through mine eyes,
Although her soul be gone. My miseries
I loathe myself, because I leave her not ;
Now being dead, that living was my choice;
All which for vengeance call with a loud voice,
Dead bodies kept unburied quickly stink
Corruption noisome, even mortified ?
Or will not credit, until they have tried,
But mortified Corruption lies unmask'd,
To all that understand her. That do none
In whom she lives embraced with delight :
But woe is me! One part of me is dead;
Or rather carried captive unto sin,
The worse part of the better, oft doth win:
The scent would choke me, were it not that grace Sometimes vouchsafeth to perfume the place
With odours of the Spirit, which do ease me,
And of myself Transgressions only please me,
Challenge thine own. Let not intruders hold
O speak the word, and make these inmates flee :: Or, which is one, take me to dwell with thee.
Peace, rebel thought : dost thou not know thy King,
My God, is here? Cannot his presence, if no other thing,
Make thee forbear?
Are but his spies :
Thy words were lies.
My God, even now a base rebellious thought
Began to move,
Me from thy love :
And thou might both
And neither loathe
And part again.
Tell me, my God, how this may be redrest :
The fault is great,
I must be beat.
Though to my pain ;
Nor sin again :
Correct me, if thou wilt; but teach me then,
What I shall do.
Lord of my life, methinks I heard thee say,
That labour's eased :
And thou art pleased.
That dost relent,
Do but repent ?
I'll tell that too.
The match is made
Between my Love and me;
And merry now I'll be.
My head ;
And, pleasures, drown
Of thorns in down.
And joy alone
You cumb'rous cares, and fears :