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CHAPTER VI.

*Or what would become of the lawyers ?' asked I don't feel very lonely as a widow, and—it isn't the doctor pleasantly.

joking-he's as serious as Job himself the while• Or the doctors ?' grinned the lawyer.

whether I ever think of getting married again, They were much in the position of the two and soon. It would be like impudence, or what soothsayers, supposed to be unable to maintain their they call chaff, in a younger gentleman ; but, of gravity in the presence of each other.

course, I couldn't think that of Mr Strangways, whom I've known and worked for these years and years.'

Mrs Brocklebank blushed as she spoke, and wore Vr Strangways rallied, and was soon pretty an embarrassed air. She pressed her hand upon nearly himself again ; a suspicion, however, pre- her left side, as though to stay the too turbulent vailing among his friends that there was some beating of a heart, which yet, one would think, thing still weighing upon his mind, and that his must have enjoyed sufficient space for the most recent indisposition had not been merely physical. active movements in the ample form that encased But he was now decidedly better, and seemed to it. Mr Royster, it may be remembered, had probe gaining strength daily. He resumed his ordinary claimed Mrs Brocklebank to be a fine woman, ways of life. He had been recommended to try had, indeed, warmly dared any man to contraliet change of air, and to pass a few weeks at the sea- his statement. She was something more than side. This he declined to do. He had not for middle-aged, and the slim symmetry of youth was many years gone far from the neighbourhood of hers no more. But she bore with ease and address Mole's Buildings, and he expressed great objection the burden time had cast upon her ; and there was to being, as he said, removed to strange places at nothing uncomely in the increased solidity of conhis time of life. But he made some concession to figuration with which the fleeting years had endowed medical counsel : he now took a morning constitu- her. The plump firmness of her face offered a good tional walk in the Tower Moat or the garden of resistance to the efforts of age to score and hollow the adjoining square. In the evening, he resumed it; and though threads of gray robbed the neat liis place at the Salutation, exercising, perhaps, bunch of short crisp ringlets she wore upon either more moderation than formerly in regard to his temple of something of their original brown lustre, consumption of its liquors. Once or twice, too, her eyes were as dark and bright, and her lips he dined at his partner's house in Doughty as rosy as they had been even in the sunniest dava Strect. These entertainments had passed off satis- of her girlhood. Cased in her newest black silk factorily. It was evident that Mrs Simkinson dress, crowned with her Sunday cap, a structure enjoyed a secure place in my uncle's favour. He rather of the Flamboyant style of architecture: invariably addressed her as . my dear,' and kissed lace collar round her neck, which was short

, but her whenever he met or parted from her. To of great circumference and a gold-rimmed Scotch all inquiries concerning his state of health, Mr pebble brooch affixed to her chest

, and rising and Strangways was now apt to reply somewhat falling with it, like a small ship rocking upon a petulantly that he was as well as he had ever wide expanse of ocean, Mrs Brocklebank was an felt in his life, if not better, and that he thought, impressive, even an attractive figure. Her manners upon the whole, his illness had rather done him were homely, but they were cordial and pleasant

. good than otherwise.

She had, as she avowed, seen some troubles, but Nevertheless, his housekeeper candidly delivered these had in no way imbittered her disposition her opinion that my uncle was very much shaken or prejudiced her views of life. Altogether, she —that he was no more the man he had been—that was a thoroughly genial, good-natured, and comforta very decided change had come over him. So able sort of creature. 'And I have always underspoke Mrs Brocklebank, who certainly had good stood that her conduct and character as a houseopportunities of forming conclusions upon the keeper were quite beyond impeachment. subject. “He's changed, sir,' she would say. 'I How it happened that a rumour to the effect can't describe it otherwise. Álr Strangways, sir, if that my uncle proposed to marry his housekeeper; you'll kindly mark my words, isn't what he used obtained expression, and form, and circulation, I to be. It isn't what I'd speak of to any that cannot state. Rumours can rarely be traced to wasn't of the family, as I may say, sir. But he's their origin. They are as the natural children of odd, sir, that's what he is. He's got into a way unseemly gossip and scandal, and cannot be exof looking at me, sir-that isn't so much looking pected to boast a distinct pedigree, or to possess at me, as eyeing me all over, and it isn't at all as decent parentage. But some such

report did pretail, it used to be. He's sharp with me at times, but greatly to the disturbance of Mr Strangways triends not often. I know his ways pretty well now, sir, and relatives. They expressed extreme anxiety on and ought to, seeing the number of years I've the subject.

They referred to my uncle in terms lived in this house. "He likes to be served quick which intermingled fear and surprise, scor and and ready-like, without need to be always giving pity, in nice proportions. They now invariabis orders and reminding ; and so he is, sir, and always spoke of poor Mrs Brocklebank—to whom they had has been. I don't think he's a complaint to make at one time addressed themselves in a most com; of me on that score. I know my duties, and I do ciliatory and complimentary way—as that woman. them regularly, like clockwork, if I may so speak. Language failed to convey the full measure of the He don't like worry, and he isn't worried. He has abomination with which they now regarded her. his own way, and he's made as comfortable as may Simkinson, to do him justice, made very licks of be, and what more can a gentleman ask for? But the matter. When spoken to as to the possibilities he seems suspicious of me—I don't know what of my uncle's marriage, he simply asked: "Whe else to call it, and at times looks at me quite timid shouldn't he marry ?" Applied to for information and scared-like. And then he'll question me as he averred that he had none to give. Bezouzation to Procklebank, and when he died, and whether stir himself, and do what he might to hinder sitä

A CONFIRMED BACHELOR.

729

a distressing proceeding, he resolutely declined to doubt, to his long occupancy of the firm's cellars, interfere. "I pleased myself; why shouldn't he?' and his habitually breathing an atmosphere heavily 'But—his housekeeper!' people urged. “A most laden with vinous fumes. At the same time, it worthy woman,' he observed. “I've known her was well understood that Bat was not chargeable these many years.

If Strangways likes to marry with intemperance ; and that, although in the dayher-let him. She's a good soul, and I've the light he wore a dazed and confused air, like an owl greatest respect for her. I don't see why she in sunshine, in underground regions his faculties shouldn't make him an excellent wife. And if he were sufficiently clear and alert. It was perhaps does marry her, all I can say is, that I hope Mrs unavoidable that cobwebs, and mildew, and mould Simkinson and myself may often have the pleasure should cling to him ; that the stains of spilt wine of Mr and Mrs Strangways' company at dinner in should variegate his attire; and that generally what Doughty Street. Let me add, that my dear wife may be called a cavernous odour should always is quite of my way of thinking in the matter. It attend him. He dressed in a corduroy suit, with was clear that there was no doing anything with a rubbed and ragged leathern apron and breastSimkinson. He was true and staunch as ever ; plate ; a rectangular brown paper-cap usually governed by the fundamental principle of his life, crowning him. He was ordinarily to be found in that the head of the firm could do no wrong, and the cellars bearing in his hand a long piece of tiinmust invariably be supported in all he did. ber, affixed to which was a swaling blackened stump

For my part, I was young, and youth, if often of tallow-candle, which fitfully illumed the vaults. inconsiderate, is scarcely ever mercenary. It en- As a servant of many years' standing, Bat was joys the present too much to trouble itself greatly supposed to enjoy the peculiar favour and confiabout the future. I did not pause to think how dence of Mr Strangways, who rarely passed a day much my prospects of benefit from my uncle's without some brief converse with his old estabwealth might be obstructed by his taking unto lished cellar-man. The fact that Bat's speech and himself a wife ; how greatly the liberality of his bearing were of an unpolished kind, in no way marriage settlement might hinder the generosity of affected my uncle's view of him, except that it, his will from flowing in my direction. In short, I perhaps, rather promoted a favourable consideralooked upon the whole thing as neither more nor tion of him ; for my uncle, inclined to oddity less than a lark. I employ the slang term, which himself, was well disposed towards a fair measure then seemed to me most appropriately to describe of it in others. the situation. My language and my opinions have One day, Mr Strangways and Bat were standing acquired sobriety since that date.

in a sequestered corner of the vaults, just where a Meanwhile, it was doubtful whether my uncle very choice hoard of old Madeira had been dewas fully informed of the reports spread abroad in posited. Both had been silent for some minutes, relation to him and his intentions. Interrogation gazing admiringly at the rows upon rows of bottles, of him was not, of course, to be thought of for a revealed in a sort of flickering way by the unsteady moment. Nor do I think that any questions were wavings of Bat's candle. addressed directly to Mrs Brocklebank upon the • What do you think of Mrs Brocklebank, Bat ?' subject. People were indeed afraid to whisper, so demanded my uncle suddenly. to say, lest they should bring down upon them an “Mrs Brocklebank ?' echoed Bat. At the moment, avalanche. They could but wait and watch, hope he thought of her confusedly, less as and fear. To move was possibly to evoke the fury than as some sort of wine ; for they had a way in of Mr Strangways; or to rouse the inimical in the cellar of referring to various vintages by the fluence of Mrs Brocklebank. It was as though names of their original shippers and importers : they were locked up in a dark china closet ; activity thus, they talked of • Potter's Madeira, of ‘Old might involve the destruction of precious property ; Rumbold's,' of 'Topstone Brothers'; ' and so on. there was no help for it but to keep still until Is she a fine woman ?' Mr Strangways pursued. some one brought a light and opened the door. "She may be,' said Bat musingly. 'Yes-now

Certainly, about this time Mir Strangways con- you mention it, she would perhaps be considered a duct, as I am about to shew, was curious, if not fine woman. But she's been younger.' inexplicable.

* Else she wouldn't be what she is. Which, no There had been for many years in the employ- doubt, was true. 'She's none the worse for age.? ment of the firm of Strangways and Simkinson a Perhaps not. She's kep' her colour.' Bat was man intrusted with various important duties in perhaps still thinking of wines. the cellars, who was known uniformly and simply

* And she's gained body.' Mr Strangways' eyes as Bat. Whether this was his Christian or sur- twinkled curiously as he said this. name, or simply a nickname, I am unable to state. 'I suppose she has,' said Bat quite gravely. He appeared to own no other appellation. Bat That's in her favour.' enjoyed a good reputation for steadiness and "Sound and choice, I call her,' continued my fidelity, and was even said to know more about uncle. “No crust—to any objectionable extent.' his employers' stock in trade, its value, quality, “I've no doubt you're right, guv'nor.'. Here and disposition, than they did themselves. But Bat removed his paper-cap, and rubbed his bald his

appearance was not prepossessing. An accident head with a dingy, stringy-looking handkerchief ; had deprived him of the sight of one eye, which his facial expression betrayed that, to his thinking, remained partially closed, as though he had been the conversation had its bewildering side. paralysed in the act of winking, and his eyelid had A man might do worse than make her his wife,' thenceforward been fixed in one position. This suggested Mr Strangways. misfortune gave something of a tipsy look to his Perhaps. He might chuck himself off London face, enhanced by a certain flush that perpetually Bridge.' imbued his rudely shaped features, and by his My uncle blinked. But if it was made worth invariable huskiness of speech, attributable, no his while ?'

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"It couldn't hardly be,' said Bat simply—not to I said, I'm married myself, for good or bad. Bechuck himself off the bridge. Not unless he was a

cause of

your way of going on, I kep' it from youdiver by trade,' he added, after a moment's reflec- bottled up, as I may say; but now the cork's out. tion.

You've screwed the truth from me. If

you

don't Marry her !' whispered my uncle mysteriously, like the taste of it, I don't know as I can help as he clutched Bat's arm.

it.' • Me?'

“You're a scoundrel, Bat ! my uncle repeated. - You ! She's a fine woman. You own it; all 'Now, look here, guvnor!' cried Bat appealingly. admit it. I'll settle a round sum on her. It will Don't let's have no quarrelling, nor no il blond be a good thing for you, Bat.

between us, after all these long years of peace and Bat shook himself free of his master's grasp, and good-will ; it wouldn't be right. I want to act fair, staggered back a few paces, shedding round him and do what I can to make things pleasant. Only quite a shower of hot tallow-drops from his swaling say the word, and let's have the matter square candle.

before us.

Are you so much set upon having nie 'It couldn't be done,' he said, with a kind of marry this here Mrs Brocklebank? Will you stand gasp.

by me if I do it? I won't say that the bit of money Pish! Don't be a fool, Bat. Take another look and that there annuity you spoke of don't tempt at her.'

me, because, perhaps, when all's told, it do. I'm Well, I will. That can't hurt me, anyhow.' poor-I don't care who knows it—and money's a 'I should think not. As fine a woman as was object to me. Still, it isn't only that. If so be

A good round sum, Bat; and an an- that you desire it, and will promise to abide by me nuity-a very nice annuity-paid quarterly. Bat, and help me through the consequences

, there, as do you hear ? Quarterly. Think of it, Bat.' I’m an honest man, I'll risk it ; I'll marry the

As you've set your mind on it, guv'nor, I will.' woman. And if the law likes to call it bigamy, or

• That's right. I'll speak to you again about it, what not—why, let it, that's the laws affair, and I Bat. And they parted.

don't care-no, not a pinch of snuff for it? A day or two later, they again chanced to be in At this iniquitous proposal, Mr Strangways, with the same remote corner of the cellars.

an oath, pushed his cellarman away from him, and, “I've been thinking over that what you talked furious with passion, quitted the wine-vaults. about t' other day, guvnor,' began Bat.

Bat's bewilderment was extreme. His offerAnd you 've looked at her ?'

shameful as it was—had been made in perfect good • Yes—I've looked at her. I've nothing to say faith ; it was, in the main, begotten of his desire to against her looks. Plainly, Bat regarded these as oblige his master, although some regard for selfmatters of quite inferior detail. * There's plenty interest no doubt possessed him. Still, he seemed of her ; I don't deny that.'

to appreciate the fact, that the course of conduct he « Well ?'

suggested had its perils as well as its profits. Alto* But it's a risk, you know, guy'nor—a precious gether, I think he was chiefly influenced by a kini risk.'

of feudal fidelity he cherished towards his employer. “Of course, it's a risk ; everything's a risk. It's For some time he seemed incapable of speech, or a risk to put out your hand or your foot ; it's a even of thought. risk to go to bed-you may be burned alive in it; • That's the worst of gentlefolks,” he murmured it's a risk to shave-you may cut yourself; it's a at length; there's no understanding them, and risk to wash your face-you may catch cold. there's no pleasing of them.'

Bat appeared to think these arguments irrelevant, He shook himself like a wet dog, by way of and of little worth. You see there's the law,' he rousing his faculties to a keener and more collected said.

sense of his situation. Presently, his face bright• What's the law got to do with it?'

ened ; it was almost as though an idea had occurred • The law's agin me, I'm thinking. And when to him. the law's agin a man, it's apt to drop upon him at odd times uncommon heavy.' *Don't talk nonsense, Bat.'

A WEST COUNTRY HUMORIST. “Maybe it's nonsense—I don't say it isn't; but Poems written in a local dialect are for the most the law calls it bigamy:

Bigamy! It was Mr Strangways' turn to start part far from attractive ; their quaintness is often back with surprise., 'Do you mean to say you've their only merit, and when we have deciphered got a wife already ?'

the meaning that is wrapped up in such uncouth • Well, I have, and children; and that's the terms, our satisfaction ends there. The nut is truth.'

cracked, and the kernel is found; but, like skin. * You scoundrel ! cried my uncle in a passion; ning shrimps, the result does not repay us for our 'you've always said you were single.'

trouble. 'I have ; I don't deny it. You were always so the only exception to this rule that we can &

The poems of Mr Barnes form almost partikler hard-mouthed about married men; and you give it tongue too-it's made me shiver to present call to mind. hear you, at times. And Mr Simkinson, he was

A little volume that has been brought under pretty near as bad. Whether he's changed his our notice, entitled Rhymes in the West of England opinion now he's married hisself, is more than I Dialect, however, pleads with some reason to be can tell you. There's some as marries and likes excluded from this sweeping censure

. Its author it ; and there's some as marries and only pretends is one · Agrikler,' as he classically calls himself

, to like it, because they wouldn't have folks jeering and his motto is classical also : at ’em. Perhaps there's more of the last than the

first. But I ain't called upon to speak to that. As O fortunatos nimium, sua si bona norind Agricola, les

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of which he offers this free • Zomerzetshire Trans-
lation :'

Future Tense.
Thee 'rt a lucky fellow, Agrikler, ef thee dedst but

Singular.

Plural. knawt.

1. Wool I?

1. Wool us? 2. Woot?

2. Woollay? Whether this be the language, as Agrikler assures 3. Wool-a ?

3. Woolum ?
us it was, 'in which King Alfred thought and

IMPERATIVE MOOD,
spoke,' seems to us not so certain as that Fielding's
Parson Trulliber used it, and by so doing, did Singular.

Plural.

1. Let we be.
his part towards bringing it into disgrace. Our .. Let I be.

2. Theed'st better be.
author, like Mr Barnes, has set himself the task of 3. Miake he, she, or un be. 3. Miake thay be.

2. You'd better be.
redeeming it, though, it must be confessed, after a
very different fashion. With regard to style and

POTENTIAL MOOD.
phraseology, he allows that he does not follow

Singular.

Plural. Lindley Murray; but then Lindley Murray did | 1. I mid mebby ha bin. 1. We mid mebby a bin. not create the language, and what business had he 2. Thee midst mebby ha 2. You mid mebby ha bin. to lay down arbitrary rules for writing and speak- bin.

3. Thay mid mebby ha

bin.
ing it in direct opposition to the practice of nine 3. He mid mebby a bin.
hundred and ninety-nine out of every thousand to

SUBJUNCTIVE MOOD.
whom it belonged ?' To this amusing argument,
if we did not know it came from Zomerzetshire,

Singular.

Plural. we should certainly ascribe a Transatlantic origin; 2. Spooasin thee beest?

1. Spooasin I be?

1. Spooasin we be? and it is curious how throughout the book, which 3. Spooasin a wer?

2. Spooasin you'm ?

3. Spooasin thaim?' has considerable humour, the same vein of mingled common-sense and absurdity runs which we see In parts of Gloucestershire and Wiltshire, it in Sam Slick, and more especially in the Yankee seems, all pronouns in the third person are humorists. Without going to the length of writ- masculine, unless applied to one of three things, ing a grammar in opposition to that of Lindley a hare, a gun, a tom-cat, which are Murray, Agrikler gives us some examples in his variably spoken of as she. “It is probably for preface of what he could do in that way, if he had this reason that it is considered disrespectful to

designate a lady by the same appellation-instead a mind.

of saying: “She did it,” say: “ Her done it.” The 'Ecample 1.-Two negatives are not equivalent to pronoun “it” is seldom if ever used except in the an affirmative, and do not neutralise each other. Objective, and then often changed to “un. When a West of England young lady says : “ No, I Some very expressive words used in that importwunt,” with an emphasis on each word, it must not be ant tract of country, the west of England, have inferred that she means yes, but rather that it is been overlooked by Johnson (who was a Cockney) quite useless to repeat the proposal.

Example 2. --A verb does not necessarily agree with and others (who were little better) altogether : its nominative in number and person, and as a proof such as ' nesh or nash, susceptible of cold ; jonick, of this, Agrikler gives an amended conjugation of the

one of the right sort ; jestabout, very much so' verb To Be :

(this is less local than the author imagines it to

be];, “and naishun, rather more than very much INDICATIVE MOOD.

so'[but not on any account to be considered an Present Tense.

abbreviation). With this introduction, and an Singular.

Plural.

apology for his ignorance of the Latin tongue 1. I be. 1. We'm.

(which we grant at once), our author plunges at 2. Thee beest. 2. You'm.

once into

Proverbeel Feelossify,' wherein he 3. He, she, or it be. 3. Thay’m.

shews the excellent Tupper to have been surPast Tense.

passed by his pupil.
Singular.
Plural.

Noa man es wise athout a wife—that's true and
1. I wer.
1. We was.

not no viction,
2. Thee wert.
2. You was.

Vor the verry peth o'wisdom es got at by conter3. He, she, or it wer. 3. Thay was.

diction, FINIKIN MOOD.

And that's one raisin wy I beant zo wise as Zolo

mon! (Used by those who were supposed to have received

Becas thay zay he'd lots o' wives and got only a superior education, or to have moved in a higher class of society.)

But spwite o’ Zolomon's example meake one wife Present Tense.

suffize, Singular.

Plural.

Vor teant by no means elthy to be moor than
1. I are.
1. We ham.

common wise.
2. You ham.
2. You ham.

No man es wise as thenks he is-jest tiake that as a

rule3. He, she, or it are. 3. Thay ham.

And a self-appwinted taicher es vust-cuzzen to a QUERE-LOUS Mood.

vool. Singular.

When a man do brag o' honesty (noa zign can well 1. Be I? 1. Be us?

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one;

Plural.

be wuss), 2. Beest?

Button up yer britches pocket, and be keerful o' 3. Be-a, or Ezza ? 3. Be um ? or Es um ?

yer puss.

2. Be ye?

lend;

Two thengs come awver I like a leech that's I shud luk vor a maaid wi' zome brass, ef tha touched wi saalt,

maaiden herzelf I wer pleeased at; A judge as shaws no marcy, and a man without a The wife es tha prinsipal theng, but the moaney faalt:

mun yent to be sneezed at. And as vor faaltless wimmen, perhaps you mid a Ta zay yo dooant want what yo do, et es but a lie zeen uim,

and a mockery, But them o' that zort mooastly dies afor ther Vor young volks can't live upon loave, thay want mothers wean um.

ta buy tiables and crockery. If you wants to borry money, and hant got nor a vriend,

Spooasin et comes ta this here—yo mid thenk Dooant never goo to them chaps as do advertise to yerzelf perty and clever,

But tha maaid as yo wants ta hev you, won't hev And ef you've money got to lend, jest tiake a ye at noo price whatever; vriendly hent,

Mebby she got zome one else, and dooant keer ta And never lend to he as offers twenty-vive per cent. fleng up a trump at ye; Vor even ef it zhould be paid, it only proaves the Mebby yo beeant no girt ketch-not vor a maaiden rule,

to jump at ye; One o' the two must be a roague, and tother one a Mebby she'd hev ye in time, but then you’n be vool. ...

loath ta depend on't;

Mebby she won't cas she won't, and as zomebody Wi' regard wars and vitins, I mid be rong or zed thers an end on't. right,

Never goo miakin a fuss-never goo bein a flat, man, But one theng's perty clear, it tiakes two to make Never goo cuttin yer droat, ei yo'd got aal tha a vight;

lives of a cat, man. And as vor miakin one o' thay, I'd never hev a Never faal out wi' yer vittles, lest in yer waskit yo roun',

shrenk, man; 'Less I were shour and sartain I cud knock tha Dooant try tha stupid ould plan, of drownin yer tother down.

loave in tha drenk, man. And ef the tother wer the siame opinion as I,

Never goo out o' yer mind, vor one individual He'd be a blessed vool to stick up there and let ma beauty, try.

Thaw she be ontrue or onkind, you 'll vind plenty Zo ef my plan wer carried out by booath the grate moor as ull suit ye. and smaal,

Waait tell tha right in turns up, and then you all I zomehow thenk there'd never be noa vitin not at

vind thers noe doubt ont, all,

Thers quite as good fish in tha say as ever wer Devence but not deviance es noo onmanein whim

knaw'd ta come out ont. Doant never vightbut allus kip yerself in vightin trim.

Spooasin yev gammond tha maaid—ither thic one

or another, But these noble sentiments are after all but

Got on tha blind zide o'zhe, but not of her feyther

and mother : abstractions. It is when he has dropped his philosophy, and becomes practical, that Agrikler

Ef yo wants she ta come out (she mid be afecard

vor to jog, man), is most worth listening to. In the west of England,

Dooant ye goo whistlin about, as ef yo wer caalin it seems, coortship’is a very popular occupation, a dog, man. and the following poem on that subject, if it does Stiddily walk by tha house, as ef yo wer aairin yer not meet every case, exhausts those which it does cloas, man; deal with pretty completely :

Ef yo da wissel at all-wissel a tuue as she knows,

man; When you'm grawin yer goosberry beard, or Goo wer yev met her befoor, and ef tha policemiin vortin begins ta improave with ye,

dooant mind ye, Dooant be a jackass outright, and thenk all tha Waait till the cooast es all cleear and tes ten to one maaids be in loave with ye.

but she 'll vind ye.. Stick up ta one at a time, and lest ya shud get in disgriace, man,

Spooasen yev miad et aal squar-spooase you'm Dooant hev too many at once, but jest one or two

invited ta caal, man, in a pliace, man.

Goo in bould as tha brass, hitch up yer hat in Ef mians marrige at once, and wish ta be blessed

the hall, man. yo wi' a true Mary,

Mind and shiake hands wi’ · Papa'-ef tha ould No need o'spoortin kid gloaves, or stenkin yerself

woman be chuff, man, wi' parfumery:

Tiake her in zummut she likes-a bunch o' nice Dooant run in debt wi' yer taailor, nor be zuch a

vlowers or zome snuff, man. vool as zuppooase, man,

Kip on tha blind zide o' she, and thaw et biant she Ef tha maaidens zee nothin in you, thay'll zee very

yo be aater, much in yer clooase, man.

Coort the ould wooman a bit, tull help ye in coortin

tha daater. When yo goos ta a chapel or church, especially wher thers low benches,

Miake tha best use o' yer time-yer cheeap bread Dooant stick up gaakin about, and cockin yer eye

and cheese, and yer kisses, at the wenches.

Vor ef thers a lizziiim on earth, as Tommy Nour The ould fashund high backid pews, wer rear uns

zed, I thenk this es. to hev zome fine But thaw volks goo to church to get married, thay Alverce which suggests the suspicion that - Agrikler

There is a certain "canniness' about the above shoodent goo ther to get coortin. Wen yo goos poppin the question, be keerful and has not always resided in his beloved west of mind wher yer pliace es,

England ; surely, at one period of his career, Zome got the brass in ther pockuts-zome cars et must have gone northward, and settled there fors aal in ther fiaces.

considerable time. What he has to say on the

he

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