5. He is moderate in inflicting deserved correction. Many a schoolmaster better answereth the name raidoтpiens than waidaуwyds, rather tearing his scholars' flesh with whipping, than giving them good education. No wonder if his scholars hate the muses, being presented unto them in the shapes of fiends and furies. Junius complains de insolenti carnificina of his schoolmaster,* by whom conscindebatur flagris septies aut octies in dies singulos. Yea, hear the lamentable verses of poor Tusser, in his own Life:

"From Paul's I went, to Eton sent,
To learn straightways the Latin phrase,
Where fifty-three stripes given to me
At once I had.

For fault but small, or none at all,
It came to pass thus beat I was;
See, Udal,† see the mercy of thee

To me, poor lad."

Such an Orbilius mars more scholars than he makes their tyranny hath caused many tongues to stammer, which spake plain by nature, and whose stuttering at first was nothing else but fears quavering on their speech at their master's presence; and whose mauling them about their heads hath dulled those who in quickness exceeded their master.

6. He makes his school free to him who sues to him in forma pauperis. And surely learning is the greatest alms that can be given. But he is a beast who, because the poor scholar cannot pay him his wages, pays the scholar in his whipping. Rather are diligent lads to be encouraged with all excitements to learning. This minds me of what I have heard concerning Mr Bust, that worthy late schoolmaster of Eton, who would never suffer any wandering begging scholar, such as justly the statute hath ranked in the forefront of rogues, to come into his school, but would thrust him out with earnestness (however privately charitable unto him) lest his schoolboys should be disheartened from their books, by seeing some scholars, after their studying in the university, preferred to beggary.

7. He spoils not a good school to make thereof a bad college, therein to teach his scholars logic. For, besides that logic may have an action of trespass against grammar for encroaching on her liberties, syllogisms are solecisms taught in the school, and oftentimes they are forced afterwards

in the university to unlearn the fumbling skill they had before.

8. Out of his school he is no whit pedantical in carriage or discourse; contenting himself to be rich in Latin, though he doth not jingle with it in every company wherein he comes.

To conclude, let this amongst other motives make schoolmasters careful in their place, that the eminences of their scholars have commended

* In his Life, of his own writing.

Nich. Udal, schoolmaster of Eton in the reign of King Henry VIII.

*

the memories of their schoolmasters to posterity, who otherwise in obscurity had altogether been forgotten. Who had ever heard of R. Bond in Lancashire, but for the breeding of learned Ascham his scholar; or of Hartgrave in Brundley school, + in the same county, but because he was the first did teach worthy Dr Whitaker? Nor do I honour the memory of Mulcaster for anything so much as for his scholar, that gulf of learning, Bishop Andrews. This made the Athenians, the day before the great feast of Theseus their founder, to sacrifice a ram to the memory of Conidas his schoolmaster that first instructed him. ‡

OF JESTING.

Harmless mirth is the best cordial against the consumption of the spirits: wherefore jesting is not unlawful if it trespasseth not in quantity, quality, or season.

1. It is good to make a jest, but not to make a trade of jesting. The Earl of Leicester, knowing that Queen Elizabeth was much delighted to see a gentleman dance well, brought the master of the dancing school to dance before her. "Pish," said the queen, "it is his profession, I will not see him." She liked it not where it was a master quality, but where it attended on other perfections.

The same may we say of jesting.

2. Jest not with the two-edged sword of God's Word.§ Will nothing please thee to wash thy hands in, but the font, or to drink healths in, but the church chalice? And know the whole art is learnt at the first admission, and profane jests will come without calling. If in the troublesome days of King Edward the Fourth, a citizen in Cheapside was executed as a traitor for saying he would make his son heir to the Crown,|| though he only meant his own house, having a crown for the sign; more dangerous it is to wit-wanton it with the majesty of God. Wherefore, if without thine intention, and against thy will, by chance course, yet fly to the city of refuge, and pray to medley thou hittest Scripture in ordinary disGod to forgive thee.

3. Wanton jests make fools laugh, and wise men frown. Seeing we are civilised Englishmen, let us not be naked savages in our talk. Such rotten speeches are worst in withered age, when

men run after that sin in their words which

flieth from them in the deed.

4. Let not thy jests, like mummy, be made of dead men's flesh. Abuse not any that are de

parted; for to wrong their memories is to rob their ghosts of their winding-sheets.

* Grant, in Vit. Ascham, p. 629.

Ashton, in the Life of Whitaker, p. 29. Plutarch, in Vit. Thesei.

§ Μάχαιραν δίστομον (Heb. iv. 12).

I Speed, in Edward the Fourth.

5. Scoff not at the natural defects of any which are not in their power to amend. Oh, it is cruelty to beat a cripple with his own crutches! Neither flout any for his profession, if honest, though poor and painful. Mock not a cobbler for his black thumbs.

6. He that relates another man's wicked jests with delight, adopts them to be his own. Purge them therefore from their poison. If the profaneness may be severed from the wit, it is like a lamprey; take out the string in the back, it may make good meat. But if the staple conceit consists in profaneness, then it is a viper, all poison, and meddle not with it.

7. He that will lose his friend for a jest, deserves to die a beggar by the bargain. Yet some think their conceits, like mustard, not good except they bite. We read that all those who were born in England the year after the beginning of the great mortality 1349,* wanted their four cheek-teeth. Such let thy jests be, that may not grind the credit of thy friend, and make not jests so long till thou becomest one.

8. No time to break jests when the heart-strings are about to be broken. No more showing of wit when the head is to be cut off, like that dying man, who, when the priest coming to him to give him extreme unction, asked of him where his feet were, answered, "At the end of my legs.' But at such a time jests are an unmannerly crepitus ingenii. And let those take heed who end here with Democritus, that they begin not with Heraclitus hereafter.

OF SELF-PRAISING.

1. He whose own worth doth speak, need not speak his own worth. Such boasting sounds proceed from emptiness of desert: whereas the conquerors in the Olympian games did not put on the laurels on their own heads, but waited till some other did it. Only anchorets that want company may crown themselves with their own commendations.

2. It showeth more wit but no less vanity to commend one's self, not in a straight line, but by reflection. Some sail to the port of their own praise by a side wind; as when they dispraise themselves, stripping themselves naked of what is their due, that the modesty of the beholders may clothe them with it again, or when they flatter another to his face, tossing the ball to him that he may throw it back again to them; or when they commend that quality wherein themselves excel, in another man, though absent, whom all know far their inferior in that faculty; or lastly, to omit other ambushes men set to surprise praise, when they send the children of their own brain to be nursed by another man, and commend their own works in a third person; but

* Tho. Walsingham, in eodem anno.

if challenged by the company that they were authors of them themselves, with their tongues they faintly deny it, and with their faces strongly affirm it.

3. Self-praising comes most naturally from a man when it comes most violently from him in his own defence. For though modesty binds a man's tongue to the peace in this point, yet being assaulted in his credit he may stand upon his guard, and then he doth not so much praise as purge himself. One braved a gentleman to his face, that in skill and valour he came far behind him: "It is true," said the other, "for when I fought with you, you ran away before me." In such a case, it was well returned, and without any just aspersion of pride.

4. He that falls into sin, is a man; that grieves at it, is a saint; that boasteth of it, is a devil. Yet some glory in their shame, counting the stains of sin the best complexion for their souls. These men make me believe it may be true what Mandeville writes of the isle of Somabarre, in the East Indies, that all the nobility thereof brand their faces with a hot iron in token of honour.

5. He that boasts of sins never committed, is a double devil. Many brag how many gardens of virginity they have deflowered, who never came near the walls thereof. Others, who would sooner creep into a scabbard than draw a sword, boast of their robberies, to usurp the esteem of valour. Whereas first let them be well whipped for their lying, and as they like that, let them come afterward and entitle them selves to the gallows.

OF TRAVELLING.

It is a good accomplishment to a man, if first the stock be well grown whereon travel is grafted, and these rules observed before, in, and after his going abroad.

1. Travel not early before thy judgment be risen; lest thou observest rather shows than substance, marking alone pageants, pictures, beautiful buildings, etc.

2. Get the language, in part, without which key thou shalt unlock little of moment. It is a great advantage to be one's own interpreter. Object not that the French tongue learnt in England must be unlearnt again in France; for it is easier to add than begin, and to pronounce than to speak.

3. Be well settled in thine own religion, lest, travelling out of England into Spain, thou goest out of God's blessing into the warm sun. They that go over maids for their religion, will be ravished at the sight of the first popish church they enter into. But if first thou be well grounded, their fooleries shall rivet thy faith the faster, and travel shall give thee confirmation in that baptism thou didst receive at home.

D

4. Know most of the rooms of thy native country before thou goest over the threshold thereof. Especially seeing England presents thee with so many observables. But late writers lack nothing but age, and home-wonders but distance, to make them admired. It is a tale what Josephus writes of the two pillars set up by the sons of Seth in Syria, the one of brick, fire-proof; the other of stone, water-free, thereon engraving many heavenly matters to perpetuate learning in defiance of time. But it is truly moralised in our universities, Cambridge (of brick) and Oxford (of stone), wherein learning and religion are preserved, and where the worst college is more sightworthy than the best Dutch gymnasium. First view these, and the rest home rarities; not like those English that can give a better account of Fontainebleau than Hampton Court, of the Spa than Bath, of Anas in Spain than Mole in Surrey.

5. Travel not beyond the Alps. Mr Ascham did thank God that he was but nine days in Italy, wherein he saw in one city (Venice) more liberty to sin, than that in London he ever heard of in nine years. That some of our gentry have gone thither, and returned thence without infection, I more praise God's providence than their adventure.

6. To travel from the sun is uncomfortable. Yet the northern parts with much ice have some crystal, and want not their remarkables.

7. If thou wilt see much in a little, travel the Low Countries. Holland is all Europe in an Amsterdam print, for Minerva, Mars, and Mercury, learning war and traffic.

8. Be wise in choosing objects, diligent in marking, careful in remembering of them; yet herein men much follow their own humours. One asked a barber, who never before had been at the court, what he saw there? "Oh," said he, "the king was excellently well trimmed!" Thus merchants most mark foreign havens, exchanges, and marts, soldiers note forts, armouries, and magazines; scholars listen after libraries, disputations, and professors; statesmen observe courts of justice, councils, etc. Every one is partial in his own profession.

9. Labour to distil and unite into thyself the scattered perfections of several nations. But, as it was said of one who, with more industry than judgment, frequented a college library, and commonly made use of the worst notes he met with in any authors, "that he weeded the library," many weed foreign countries, bringing home Dutch drunkenness, Spanish pride, French wantonness, and Italian atheism. As for the good herbs, Dutch industry, Spanish loyalty, French courtesy, and Italian frugality, these they leave behind them. Others bring home just nothing; and because they singled not

* Antiq. Jud., lib i., cap. 3.

+ In his preface to his Schoolmaster.

|

OF COMPANY.

1. Company is one of the greatest pleasures of the nature of man. For the beams of joy are made hotter by reflection, when related to another; and otherwise gladness itself must grieve for want of one to express itself to.

2. It is unnatural for a man to court and hug solitariness. It is observed, that the farthest islands in the world are so seated that there is none so remote but that from some shore of it another island or continent may be discerned; as if hereby nature invited countries to a mutual commerce, one with another. Why then should any man affect to environ himself with so deep and great reservedness, as not to communicate with the society of others? And though we pity those who made solitariness their refuge in time of persecution, we must condemn such as choose it in the Church's prosperity. For well may we count him not well in his wits who will live always under a bush, because others in a storm shelter themselves under it.

3. Yet a desert is better than a debauched companion. For the wildness of the place is but uncheerful, whilst the wildness of bad persons is also infectious. Better therefore ride alone than have a thief's company. And such is a wicked man who will rob thee of precious time, if he doth no more mischief. The Nazarites, who might drink no wine, were also forbidden (Num. vi. 3) to eat grapes, whereof wine is made. We must not only avoid sin itself, but also the causes and occasions thereof; amongst which bad company (the lime-twigs of the devil) is the