:

borne and borne; and have been fubbed off, and fubbed off, and fubbed off, from this day to that day, that it is a shame to be thought on. dealing, unless a woman should be made There is no honesty in such an ass, and a beast, to bear every knave's wrong. Yonder he comes; and that arrant malmsey-nose knave, Bardolph, with him. Do your offices, do your offices, Master Fang and Master Snare; do me, do me, do me your offices.

Enter SIR JOHN FALSTAFF, PAGE, and BARDOLPH.

Fal. How now? whose mare's dead?What's the matter?

Fang. Sir John, I arrest you at the suit of Mistress Quickly.

Fal. Away varlets!-Draw, Bardolph! Cut me off the villain's head, throw the quean in the channel.

Hos. Throw me in the channel? I'll throw thee in the channel. Wilt thou? wilt thou? thou bastardly rogue !-Murder! murder! O, thou honey-suckle villain! wilt thou kill God's officers, and the king's? Oh, thou honey-seed1 rogue! thou art a honey-seed; a man-queller, and a womanqueller.

Fal. Keep them off, Bardolph.
Fang. A rescue! a rescue!

Hos. Good people, bring a rescue or two.

Fang. If I can close with him, I care not for his thrust.

Hos. No, nor I neither; I'll be at your elbow.

Fang. An I but fist him once; an a' come but within my vice;

Hos. I am undone by his going; I warrant you, he's an infinitive thing upon my score:-good Master Fang, hold him sure; -good Master Snare, let him not 'scape. A' comes continuantly to Pye corner (saving your manhoods), to buy a saddle; and he is indited to dinner to the Lubber's Head, in Lumbert Street, to Master Smooth's the silkman: I pray ye, since my exion is entered, and my case so openly known to the world, let him be brought in to his answer. A hundred mark is a long one for a poor lone woman to bear: and I have borne, and

Fal. Away, you scullion! you rampallian! you fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe.

Enter the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE, attended.

Chief J. What's the matter?-Keep the peace here, ho!

Hos. Good my lord, be good to me! I beseech you stand to me.

Chief J. How now, Sir John ?—What!

Doth this become your place, your time, are you brawling here? and business?

You should have been well on your way to York.

Stand from him, fellow; wherefore hang'st upon him?

Hos. O, my most worshipful lord, an't

bly means homicidal and homicide. 1 By honey-suckle and honey-seed, our Hostess proba

please your grace, I am a poor widow of Eastcheap, and he is arrested at my suit.

Chief J. For what sum ?

Hos. It is more than for some, my lord; it is for all, all I have: he hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his: but I will have some of it out again, or I'll ride thee o' nights, like the mare.

Fal. I think I am as like to ride the mare, if I have any vantage ground to get up.

Chief J. How comes this, Sir John? Fie! What man of good temper would endure this tempest of exclamation? Are you not ashamed to enforce a poor widow to so rough a course to come by her own?

Fal. What is the gross sum that I owe thee?

Hos. Marry, if thou wert an honest man, thyself, and the money too. Thou didst swear to me upon a parcel-gilt goblet, sitting in my Dolphin chamber, at the round table, by a sea-coal fire, upon Wednesday in Whitsun-week, when the prince broke thy head for liking his father to a singingman at Windsor-thou didst swear to me then, as I was washing thy wound, to marry me, and nake me my lady thy wife. Canst thou deny it?-Did not goodwife Keech, the butcher's wife, come in then, and call me gossip Quickly? coming in to borrow a mess of vinegar; telling us she had a good dish of prawns; whereby thou didst desire to eat some; whereby I told thee, they were ill for a green wound? And didst thou not, when she was gone down stairs, desire me to be no more so familiarity with such poor people : saying, that ere long they should call me madam? And didst thou not kiss me, and bid me fetch thee thirty shillings? -I put thee now to thy book-oath; deny it if thou canst.

Fal. My lord, this is a poor mad soul; and she says, up and down the town, that her eldest son is like you; she hath been in good case, and, the truth is, poverty hath distracted her. But for these foolish officers, I beseech you, I may have redress against them.

Chief J. Sir John, Sir John, I am well acquainted with your manner of wrenching the true cause the false way. It is not a confident brow, nor the throng of words that come with such more than impudent sauciness from you, can thrust me from a level consideration: you have, as it appears to me, practised upon the easy-yielding spirit

of this woman, and made her serve your uses both in purse and person.

Hos. Yea, in troth, my lord.

Chief J. Pr'ythee, peace :-Pay her the debt you owe her, and unpay the villany you have done with her: the one you may do with sterling money, and the other with current repentance.

Fal. My lord, I will not undergo this sneap without reply. You call honorable boldness impudent sauciness: if a man will make courts'y, and say nothing, he is virtuous: no, my lord, my humble duty remembered, I will not be your suitor; I say to you, I do desire deliverance from these officers, being upon hasty employment in the king's affairs.

Chief J. You speak as having power to do wrong but answer in the effect of your reputation, and satisfy the poor woman. Fal. Come hither, hostess.

[ Taking her aside.

Enter GowER.

Chief J. Now, Master Gower, what news?
Gower. The king, my lord, and Henry
Prince of Wales,

Are near at hand; the rest the paper tells.
Fal. As I am a gentleman;-
Hos. Nay, you said so before.
Fal. As I am a gentleman;-come, no
more words of it.

Hos. By this heavenly ground I tread on, I must be fain to pawn both my plate and the tapestry of my dining chambers.

Fal. Glasses, glasses, is the only drinking; and for thy walls, a pretty slight drollery, or the story of the prodigal, or the German hunting in water-work, is worth a thou sand of these bed-hangings, and these flybitten tapestries. Let it be ten pound, if thou canst. Come, an it were not for thy humors, there is not a better wench in England. Go, wash thy face, and 'draw thy action. Come, thou must not be in this humor with me; dost not know me? Come, come, I know thou wast set on to this.

Hos. Pray thee, Sir John, let it be but twenty nobles: i'faith I am loath to pawn my plate, in good earnest, la.

Fal. Let it alone; I'll make other shift: you'll be a fool still.

Hos. Well, you shall have it, though I pawn my gown. I hope you'll come to supper. You'll pay me all together?

Fal. Will I live? Go with her, with her; [To Bardolph.] Hook on, hook on.

Hos. Will you have Doll Tear-sheet meet you at supper?

Fal. No more words-let's have her. [Exeunt Hostess, Bardolph, Fang, Share, and Boy.

Chief J. I have heard better news. Fal. What's the news, my good lord? Chief J. Where lay the king last night? Gower. At Basingstoke, my lord. Fal. I hope, my lord, all's well. What is the news, my lord?

Chief J. Come all his forces back? Gower. No; fifteen hundred foot, five hundred horse,

Are marched up to my Lord of Lancaster, Against Northumberland and the Arch

SCENE 2.-London. Another street.

Enter PRINCE HENRY and POINS. P. Hen. Trust me, I am exceeding weary. Poins. Is it come to that? I had thought, weariness durst not have attached one of so high blood.

P. Hen. Faith, it does me; though it discolors the complexion of my greatness to acknowledge it. Doth it not show vilely in me, to desire small beer?

Poins. Why, a prince should not be so loosely studied, as to remember so weak a composition.

now

P. Hen. Belike then, my appetite was not princely got; for, by my troth, I do remember the poor creature, small beer. But, indeed, these humble considerations make me out of love with my greatness. What a disgrace is it to me, to remember thy name, or to know thy face to-morrow, or to take note how many pair of silk stockings thou hast; viz. these, and those that were thy peach-colored ones? or to bear the inventory of thy shirts; as, one for superfluity, and one other for use?-but that, the tennis-court keeper knows better than I; for it is a low ebb of linen with thee, when thou keepest not racket there; as thou hast not done a great while, because the rest of thy low-countries have made a shift to eat up thy holland: and God knows, whether those that bawl out the ruins of thy linen shall inherit his kingdom; but the midwives say, the children are not in the fault; whereupon the world increases, and kindreds are mightily strengthened.

Poins. How ill it follows, after you have labored so hard, you should talk so idly! Tell me, how many good young princes would do so, their fathers being so sick as yours at this time is?

P. Hen. Shall I tell thee one thing, Poins? Poins. Yes; and let it be an excellent good thing.

P. Hen. It shall serve among wits of no higher breeding than thine.

Poins. Go to; I stand the push of your one thing that you will tell.

P. Hen. Why, I tell thee,-it is not meet that I should be sad, now my father is sick; albeit I could tell to thee (as to one it pleases me, for fault of a better, to call my friend), I could be sad, and sad indeed, too.

Poins. Very hardly, upon such a subject. P. Hen. By this hand, thou think'st_me as far in the devil's book as thou and Falstaff, for obduracy and persistency: let the end try the man. But, I tell thee, my heart bleeds inwardly that my father is so sick; and keeping such vile company as thou art, hath in reason taken from me all ostentation of sorrow.

Poins. The reason?

P. Hen. What wouldst thou think of me, if I should weep?

Poins. I would think thee a most princely hypocrite.

P. Hen. It would be every man's thought: and thou art a blessed fellow to think as

1 Children wrapped in thy old shirts.

every man thinks; never a man's thought in the world keeps the roadway better than thine every man would think me a hypocrite indeed. What accites your most worshipful thought, to think so?

Poins. Why, because you have been so lewd, and so much engraffed to Falstaff. P. Hen. And to thee.

your grace's coming to town; there's a letter for you.

Poins. Delivered with good respect.And how doth the martlemas, your master? Bard. In bodily health, sir.

Poins. Marry, the immortal part needs a physician: but that moves not him; though that be sick, it dies not.

P. Hen. I do allow this wen to be as familiar with me as my dog; and he holds his place, for, look you, how he writes.

Poins. [Reads.] "John Falstaff, knight"

P. Hen. And the boy that I gave Falstaff: he had him from me Christian; and look, if the fat villain have not transformed him ape.

Enter BARDOLPH and PAGE. Bard. God save your grace! P. Hen. And yours, most noble Bardolph. Bard. Come, you virtuous ass, [To the Page.] you bashful fool, must you be blushing? Wherefore blush you now? What a maidenly man-at-arms are you become? Is it such a matter to get a pottle-pot's maidenhead ?

Page. He called me even now, my lord, through a red lattice, and I could discern no part of his face from the window: at last, I spied his eyes; and methought he had made two holes in the ale-wife's new petticoat, and peeped through.

P. Hen. Hath not the boy profited? Bard. Away, you whoreson upright rabbit, away!

Page. Away, you rascally Althea's dream, away!

P. Hen. Instruct us, boy: what dream, boy?

Page. Marry, my lord, Althea dreamed she was delivered of a fire-brand; and therefore I call him her dream.

P. Hen. A crown's worth of good interpretation. There it is, boy.

[Gives him money. Poins. O, that this good blossom could be kept from cankers!-Well, there is sixpence to preserve thee.

Bard. An you do not make him be hanged among you, the gallows shall have

has occasion to name himself. Even like those that are kin to the king; for they never prick their finger, but they say, "There is some of the king's blood spilt. "How comes that?" says he that takes upon him not to conceive: the answer is as ready as a borrower's cap,-"I am the king's poor cousin, sir."

P. Hen. Nay, they will be kin to us, but they will fetch it from Japhet. But to the letter.

Poins. "Sir John Falstaff, knight, to the son of the king, nearest his father, Harry Prince of Wales, greeting." Why, this is a certificate.

P. Hen. Peace!

Poins. "I will imitate the honorable Romans in brevity." Sure he means brevity in breath: short-winded.-"I commend me to thee, I commend thee, and I leave thee. Be not too familiar with Poins; for he misuses thy favors so much, that he swears thou art to marry his sister Nell. Repent at idle times as thou mayst, and so farewell.

"Thine, by yea and no (which is as much

as to say, as thou usest him), Jack Falstaff with my familiars; John, with my brothers and sisters; and Sir John with all Europe."

My lord, I will steep this letter in sack, and make him eat it.

P. Hen. That's to make him eat twenty of his words. But do you use me thus, Ned? Must I marry your sister?

Poins. God send the wench no worse fortune! but I never said so.

P. Hen. Well, thus we play the fools with the time; and the spirits of the wise sit in the clouds, and mock us.-Is your master here in London ?

Bard. Yes, my

lord.

P, Hen. Where sups he? doth the old boar feed in the old frank?1

1 The old sty.

P. Hen. Sup any women with him? Page. None, my lord, but old Mistress Quickly, and Mistress Doll Tear-sheet.

P. Hen. What pagan may that be? Page. A proper gentlewoman, sir, and a kinswoman of my master's.

P. Hen. Even such kin as the parishheifers are to the town bull.-Shall we steal upon them, Ned, at supper?

Poins. I am your shadow, my lord; I'll follow you.

P. Hen. Sirrah, you boy, and Bardolph,no word to your master, that I am yet come to town: there's for your silence.

Bard. I have no tongue, sir. Page. And for mine, sir, I will govern it. P. Hen. Fare ye well; go. [Exeunt Bardolph and Page.] This Doll Tear-sheet

should be some road.

Poins. I warrant you, as common as the way between Saint Alban's and London.

P. Hen. How might we see Falstaff bestow himself to-night in his true colors, and not ourselves be seen?

Poins. Put on two leathern jerkins and aprons, and wait upon him at his table as drawers.

P. Hen. From a god to a bull? a heavy declension! it was Jove's case. From a prince to a prentice? a low transformation! that shall be mine; for in everything the purpose must weigh with the folly. Follow me, Ned. [Exeunt.

SCENE 4.-London. A Room in the Boar's Head Tavern, Eastcheap.

Enter two DRAWERS.

1 Draw. What the devil hast thou brought there? Apple-Johns ? Thou knowest Sir John cannot endure an apple-John.

2 Draw. Mass, thou sayest_true. The prince once set a dish of apple-Johns before him, and told him, there were five more sir Johns; and, putting off his hat, said, 'I will now take my leave of these six dry, round, old, withered knights.' It angered him to the heart; but he hath forgot that.

1 A species of apple that will keep two years, but after some time appears to be shrunk and dried up.

1 Draw. Why then, cover, and set them down and see if thou canst find out Sneak's noise; Mistress Tear-sheet would fain hear some music. Despatch. The room where they supped is too hot; they'll come in straight.

2 Draw. Sirrah, here will be the Prince and Master Poins anon; and they will put on two of our jerkins, and aprons; and Sir John must not know of it: Bardolph hath brought word.

1 Draw. By the mass, here will be old utis. It will be an excellent stratagem. 2 Draw. I'll see, if I can find out Sneak. [Exil.

Enter HOSTESS and DOLL TEAR-SHEET. Hos. I faith! sweet heart, methinks now you are in an excellent good temperality: your pulsidge beats as extraordinarily as heart would desire; and your color, I warrant you, is as red as any rose in good truth, la! But, i' faith, you have drunk too much canaries; and that's a marvellous searching wine, and it perfumes the blood ere one can say,-what's this? How do you

now?

Doll. Better than I was. Hem !

Hos. Why, that's well said. A good heart's worth gold. Look! here comes Sir John.

Enter FALSTAFF, singing.

Fal. "When Arthur first in court"— Empty the Jordan." And was a worthy King" [Exit Drawer.]-How now, Mistress Doll?

Hos. Sick of a calm: yea, and good faith. Fal. So is all her sect; an they be once in a calm, they are sick.

Doll. You muddy rascal, is that all the comfort you give me?

Fal. You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll. Doll. I make them! gluttony and diseases make them; I make them not.

Fal. If the cook help to make the gluttony, you help to make the diseases, Doll; we catch of you, Doll, we catch of you: grant that, my poor virtue, grant that.

Doll. Ay, marry; our chains and our jewels.

Fal. "Your brooches, pearls and owches:"3-for to serve bravely, is to come halting off, you know: to come off the breach 2 Merry doings.

1 Sneak was a street minstrel.

3 A fragment of an old ballad.