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But if I found that I grew worse and worse,
I'd turn off Misaubin and take a nurse.
How oft when eminent physicians fail,
Do good old women's remedies prevail !
When beauty's gone, and Chloe's ftruck with years,
Eyes she can couch, or she can fyringe ears.
Of graduates I dislike the learned rout,
And chuse a female doctor for the gout.
Thus would I live, with no dull pedants curs'd;
Sure, of all blockheads, scholars are the worst.
Back to your universities, ye fools,
And dangle arguments on strings in schools:
Those schools which Universities they call,
Twere well for England were there none at all,
With ease that loss the nation might sustain,
Supply'd by Goodman's-fields and Drury-lane.
Oxford and Cambridge are not worth one farthing,
Compar'd to Haymarket and Covent-garden :
Quit those, ye British youth, and follow these,
Turn players all, and take your 'squire's degrees.
Boast not your incomes now, as heretofore,
Ye book-learn'd feats ! the theatres have more :
Ye ftiff-rump'd heads of colleges be dumb;
A single eunuch gets a larger fam.
Have fome of you three hundred by the year;
Booth, Rich, and Cibber, twice three thousand clear.
Should Oxford to her fifter Cambridge join
A year's rack-rent, and arbitrary fine:
Thence not orié winter's charge would be defray'd,
For play-house, opera, ball, and masquerade.
Glad I congratulate the judging age,
The players are the world, the world the stage.
I am a politician too, and hate
Of any party, ministers of state :
I'm for an Act, that he, who sev'n whole years
Has serv'd his king and country, lose his ears.
Thus from my birth I'm qualified, you find,
To give the laws of Taste to human kind.
Mine are the gallant schemes of politesse,
For books, and buildings, politics, and dress.
This is trųe Taite, and whoso likes it not,
do blockhead, coxcomb, puppy, fool, and sot.
CO N V ER SA TI O N.
By BENJAMIN STILLINGFLEET a.
Oderunt bilarem triftes, triftemque jocofi,
Sedatum celeres, agilem gnarumque remilli.
HE art of converfe, how to footh the foul
Of haughty man, his passions to controul,
His pride at once to humble and to please,
And join the dignity of life with ease,
a Benjamin Stillingfieet, was the only fon of Edward Stillingfieet, a clergyman in the county of Norfolk, and grandson to Dr. Stillingfileet, Bishop of Worcefter. He was educated at Norwich school, which he left in 1720, and went to Trinity College Cambridge, where Dr.' Bentley, who had been private tutor to his father, was thea Mafter, He became a candidate while there for a fellowship, but through the
Be now my theme. O thou, whom Nature's hand
Fram'd for this best, this delicate command,
And taught, when lifping without reason's aid,
At the same time to speak and to persuade,
WYNDHAM, with diligence awhile attend,
Nor scorn th' instructions of an older friend;
Who when the world's great commerce Mall have join'd
The deep reflection, and the frength of mind,
To the bright talents of thy youthful ftate,
In turn shall on thy better lessons wait.
Whence comes it, that in every art we fee
Many can rise to a supreme degree ;
Yet in this art, for which all seem design'd
By nature, scarcely one compleat we find ?
You'll say, perhaps, we think, we speak, we move,
By the strong springs alone of selfish love :
Yet among all the species, is there one,
Whom with more caution than ourselves we faun?
influence of Dr. Bentley, was rejected. On this disappointment, he quitted the University, and travelled with Mr. Wyndham of Felbrig, in Norfolk, to whom this Poem is addressed, and with whom he lived in the most intimate and unreserved friendship. By the favour of the late Lord Barrington, he was appointed master of the barracks at Kensington, a place which enabled bim to pursue his studies, and particularly his favourite one of Natural History,.with success. He the auihor of several valuable works which have been published, and of others which have not hitherto appeared. He died a batchelor, in the year 1771, at the age of upwards of seventy years, and was buried 19 Saint James's church:
What is it fills a puppet-show or court ?
Go none but for the profit or the sport?
If so, why comes each soul fatigu’d away,
And curses the dull puppets same dull play,
Yet, unconvinc'd, is tempted still to go?
'Tis that we find at home our greatest foe.
And reason good why folitude we flee;
Can wants with felf-sufficiency agree?
Yet, such our inconsistency of mind,
We court society, and hate mankind.
With some we quarrel, for they're too fincere :
With others, for they're close, reserv’d and queer
This is too learn’d, too prudent, or too wise ;
And that we for his ignorance despise :
A voice perhaps our ear fhali harshly strike,
Then ftrait ey'n wit itself fhall raise diflike;
Our eye may by some feature be annoy'd,
Behold at once a character destroy'd :
One's so good-natur'd, he's beyond all bearing,
He'll ridicule no friend, though out of hearing
Another warm’d with zeal, offends our eyes,
Because he holds the mirror up to vice.
No wonder then, since fancies wild as these
Can move our spleen, that real faults displease.
When Mævius, spite of dulness, will be bright,
And teach ARGYLL to speak, and SwJFT to write ;
b John Duke of Argyll, equally celebrated as a fiatesman, a warrior, and an orator. He died 3d September 1743.