ACT II. SCENE I

Changes to Milan.

An Apartment in the Duke's Palace.

Enter Valentine and Speed.

IR, your glove

SIR,

SPEED.

Val. Not mine; my gloves are on.

Speed. Why then this may be yours, for this is

but one.

Val. Ha! let me fee: ay, give it me, it's mine: Sweet ornament, that decks a thing divine! Ah, Silvia! Silvia!

· Speed. Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia! Val. How now, Sirrah?

Speed. She is not within hearing, Sir.

Val. Why, Sir, who bad you call her ?

Speed. Your worship, Sir, or elfe I miftook.
Val. Well, you'll still be too forward.

Speed. And yet I was laft chidden for being too flow.
Val. Go to, Sir; tell me, do you know Madam
Silvia?

Speed. She, that your worship loves?

Val. Why, how know you that I am in love?

Speed. Marry, by these fpecial marks; first, you have learn'd, like Sir Protheus, to wreath your arms like a male-content; to relish a love-fong, like a Robin-red-breaft; to walk alone, like one that had the peftilence; to figh, like a school-boy that had lost his A, B, C, to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam; to faft, like one that takes diet; to watch, like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmafs. You were wont,

when

when you laugh'd, to crow like a cock; when you walk'd, to walk like one of the lions; when you fafted, it was presently after dinner; when you look'd fadly, it was for want of mony; and now you are metamorphos'd with a mistress, that, when I look on you, I can hardly think you my mafter.

Val. Are all these things perceiv'd in me?
Speed. They are all perceiv'd without ye.
Val. Without me? they cannot.

Speed. Without you? nay, that's certain; for without you were fo fimple, none elfe would; But you are fo without thefe Follies, that these follies are within you, and fhine through you like the water in an urinal; that not an eye that fees you, but is a phyfician to comment on your malady.

Val. But tell me, doft thou know my lady Silvia? Speed. She, that you gaze on fo as the fits at fupper? Val. Haft thou obferv'd that? ev'n fhe I mean. Speed. Why, Sir, I know her not?

Val. Doft thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet know'ft her not?

Speed. Is fhe not hard-favour'd, Sir?
Val. Not fo fair, boy, as well-favour'd.
Speed. Sir, I know that well enough.
Val. What doft thou know?

Speed. That she is not fo fair, as of you well favour'd.
Val. I mean that her beauty is exquifite,

But her Favour infinite.

Speed. That's because the one is painted, and the other out of all count.

Val. How painted? and how out of count? Speed. Marry, Sir, fo painted to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty.

Val. How efteem'st thou me? I account of her beauty.

Speed. You never faw her fince fhe was deform'd.
Val. How long hath fhe been deform'd ?

Speed.

Speed. Ever fince you lov'd her.

Val. I have lov'd her, ever since I saw her;
And ftill I fee her beautiful.

Speed. If you love her, you cannot fee her.
Val. Why?

Speed. Because love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes, or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to have, when you chid at Sir Protheus for going ungarter'd!

Val. What should I fee then?

Speed. Your own prefent folly, and her paffing deformity: For he, being in love, could not fee to garter his hofe; and you, being in love, cannot fee to put on your hofe.

Val. Belike, boy, then you are in love: for laft morning you could not fee to wipe my shoes.

Speed. True, Sir, I was in love with my bed; I thank you, you fwing'd me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.

Val. In conclufion, I stand affected to her.

Speed. I would you were fet, fo your affection would

cease.

Val. last night fhe injoin'd me to write some lines to one she loves.

Speed. And have you?

Val. I have.

Speed. Are they not lamely writ?

Val. No, boy, but as well as I can do them : Peace, here fhe comes.

Enter Silvia.

Speed. Oh excellent motion! Oh exceeding puppet Now will he interpret to her.

Val. Madam and mistress, a thousand good morrows. Speed. Oh! give ye good ev'n; here's a million of

manners.

Sil. Sir Valentine and fervant, to you two thousand.

Speed.

Speed. He fhould give her intereft; and fhe gives

it him.

Val. As you injoin'd me, I have writ your letter,
Unto the fecret, namelefs, friend of yours;
Which I was much unwilling to proceed in,
But for my duty to your ladyship.、

Sil. I thank you, gentle fervant; 'tis very clerkly done.

Fal. Now truft me, madam, it came hardly off:
For being ignorant to whom it goes,
I writ at random, very doubtfully.

[pains? Sil. Perchance, you think too much of fo much Val. No, madam, fo it fteed you, I will write, Please you command, a thousand times as much.

And yet

Sil. A pretty period; well, I guess the sequel; And yet I will not name it; and yet I care not; And yet take this again, and yet I thank you; Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.

Speed. And yet you will; and yet, another yet. [Afide. Val. What means your ladyship? do you not like it? Sil. Yes, yes, the lines are very quaintly writ; But fince unwillingly, take them again;

Nay, take them.

Val. Madam, they are for

you.

Sil. Ay, ay; you writ them, Sir, at my request
But I will none of them; they are for you:
I would have had them writ more movingly.
Val. Please you, I'll write your ladyship another.
Sil. And when it's writ, for my fake read it over;

And if it please you, fo; if not, why fo.
Val. If it please me, madam, what then?

Sil. Why if it please you, take it for your labour And fo good morrow, fervant.

[Exit.

Speed. O jeft unfeen, infcrutable, invisible, As a nofe on a man's face, or a weathercock on a steeple!

My

My mafter fues to her, and the hath taught her fuitor, He being her pupil, to become her tutor :

O excellent device! was there ever heard a better? That my master, being the scribe, to himself should write the letter?

Val. How now, Sir, what are you reasoning with yourself?

Speed. Nay, I was rhiming; 'tis you that have the reason.

Val. To do what?

Speed. To be a spokesman from madam Silvia.
Val. To whom?

Speed. To yourself; why, fhe wooes you by a figure.
Val. What figure?

Speed. By a letter, I should say.

Val. Why, the hath not writ to me?

Speed. What need fhe,

When the hath made you write to yourself?

Why, do you not perceive the jest?

Val. No, believe me.

Speed. No believing you, indeed, Sir: but did you perceive her earnest?

Val. She gave me none, except an angry word.
Speed. Why, fhe hath given you a letter.

Val. That's the letter I writ to her friend, Speed. And that letter hath fhe deliver'd, and there's an end.

Val. I would it were no worse.

Speed. I'll warrant you, 'tis as well:

For often have you writ to her; and fhe in modefty,
Or elfe for want of idle time, could not again reply;
Or fearing elfe fome messenger, that might her mind dif-

cover,

Herfelf bath taught her love himself to write unto her

lover.

All this I fpeak in print; for in print I found it.Why mufe you, Sir? 'tis dinner time.