64 The first proposal e'er I had! It took my breath away; Confused and blushing, I said "Yes," ENGAGEMENTS. There must, of course, be an interval between the " engagement" and marriage. How long this interval should be will depend upon circumstances. As a rule, we are not in favor of long engagements. The old adage about "marrying in haste to repent at leisure" is rather a warning against hasty engagements, for engaged lovers are supposed to have made up their minds to marry. Why then defer the consummation beyond the time required for the necessary "getting ready?" How long? We would not lay down a definite rule, but say from three months to a year. A cynical writer has remarked that " a man can not know too much about his wife before marriage, or too little after it." Without accepting the second disagreeable observation, we may still allow that there is a certain amount of perfectly inoffensive wisdom in the first. But it tells against hasty engagements rather than in favor of long ones; and were the former instead of the latter our present inquiry, we think we could show grave cause against a habit which is becoming exceedingly common. But it is not; and we have alluded to it only because we are inclined to think that a brief engagement finds its full justification only when it has not been a rash one. But whether rash or the result of due reflection, when once entered upon, the sooner it is closed the better. When so very fine a boundary separates an ardent couple from their mutually desired destiny, they might as well "jump the life to come," as Macbeth has it, with happy dispatch; and where matters are arranged with sagacity, any delay that may take place is commonly due to artificial rather than to natural obstructions. Some such trivial postponement is, of course, inevitable, and is always accepted by sensible lovers with a good grace. THE EVILS OF LONG ENGAGEMENTS. An English writer says: "The man who is the victim of a long engagement must be made either exceedingly irritable by, or exceedingly resigned to, the situation. On the first supposition he can not well be a very happy, nor, on the second, a very fascinating, lover. He becomes either a burden to himself or to other people; either as nervously anxious as a man who has not yet been accepted, or as offensively at home and satisfied about the matter as if he were already a husband. But it is the girl who really deserves all our commiseration. She is bound hand and foot, and tied to a man who is neither alive nor dead; neither a lover who draws her, nor a husband whom she draws. She can think of nobody and nothing else, and yet she thinks in vain. She is ruined as a daughter and sister, and utterly spoiled as a member of general society; and yet she is not a wife or mistress of a household. Even a short engagement is not the pleasantest position of a woman's life; but a long one must be well-nigh insufferable. When married life does come,-if it ever does,-its more novel and delicate pleasures have been discounted, and at what a price!" If you are honestly and earnestly in love, you should put the sign and seal of parson and wedding-ring on it as soon as possible. Life is not long enough to spend in fruitless deliberation. If you are poor and friendless, can not two fight the battle, hand in hand, with a far better chance of victory? If you are weak-hearted, borrow strength from God's beneficence. But, unless you are pre-determined to be miserable, don't let the spring-time of your life go by while you are vainly waiting for an "opportunity." Make the opportunity for yourself, or take it, and stand your chance bravely like the rest of the world. THE ETIQUETTE OF ENGAGEMENT. The author of "How to Behave" says: "The engaged need not take particular pains to proclaim the nature of the relation in which they stand to each other, nor should they attempt or desire to conceal it. Their intercourse with each other should be frank and confiding, but prudent, and their conduct in reference to other persons of the opposite sex such as will give no occasion for a single pang of jealousy." Engagements made in accordance with the principles set forth in this work will seldom, if ever, be broken off; but if such a painful necessity should occur, let it be met with firmness, but with delicacy. If a mistake has been made, it is infinitely better to correct it at the last moment than not at all. A marriage is not so easily broken off. On breaking off an engagement, all letters, presents, etc., should be returned, and both parties should consider themselves pledged to the most honorable and delicate conduct in reference to the whole matter. VIII. The Duty of Parents. Parents their rights o'erstep When with too tight a rein they do hold in Their child's affections; for they should know That true love crossed, brings misery and woe.-Taylor. Fathers their children and themselves abuse, That wealth, a husband for their daughters choose.-Shirley. A MOMENTOUS QUESTION. LL good parents desire the happiness and welfare of their children. They watch over, nurse, and educate them with tender solicitude; and strive, according to the light they themselves possess, to guide them aright. The children grow up, and the father and mother are proud of their talents, their beauty, or their moral worth, and anticipate for them a career of honor, usefulness, prosperity, and happiness. By-and-by, as they associate with the young people of their neighborhood, or go abroad among strangers, there comes a "falling in love," and a desire to marry. Perhaps the chosen one is such a person as the parents can most fully approve, and in every way adapted to the beloved son or daughter who desires to marry. In this case there is nothing to do but to give their cordial consent. But, on the other hand, it sometimes happens that the person who seeks an alliance with a daughter, or is sought by a son, is one whom they believe to be unsuitable, and a marriage with whom would, in their opinion, prove fatal to their hopes. and to the happiness of their child. What shall they do? Consent, or refuse? Either course is painful and fraught with possible danger. If they refuse, there may be an elopement, or a clandestine marriage, or the life of the son or the daughter may be blighted by the disappointment. If they give their consent, against the dictates of their judgments, rather than inflict so much present pain by a refusal, they may thus consign their child to a life of misery and misfortune. No wonder the question-"Is it right and judicious for parents to interfere in the love affairs of their children?" is iterated and re-iterated. If all young folks and their parents were properly educated -if they had studied and mastered the science of man, in its various departments-knew how to read character by means of its external symbols-such cases as we have supposed could not occur. No father would have occasion to refuse the hand of his lovely and beloved daughter to a blackguard or a libertine, because such a one would never be able to beguile her into love; but when a lover should be accepted by her, her parents, if blessed with good sense and the same kind of an education that we have been supposing her to possess, would see at once the fitness of the choice, and their consent would be ready and cordial. They would never allow family prejudice or a mere difference of wealth or position to influence them against their would-be son-in-law. But, unfortunately, few among either parents or children are educated in the way we have indicated. They neither know themselves nor their fellow-men; and, groping blindly, are quite as apt to go wrong as right. Boys and girls will "fall in love" where they ought not; or if they are properly guid ed, or by chance choose wisely, their parents, having no correct standard by which to judge of the fitness of the person chosen, may think the choice a bad one, and dangerous to their son's or daughter's happiness, and therefore must manifest their disapproval. So the question recurs-Shall they interfere? Taking men and women-parents and children— as they are, what is it best to do? THE QUESTION ANSWERED. While the child is in his or her minority, the civil law, very properly, as we think, gives the parent a right to forbid his or her marriage. It assumes that the father is wiser or more |