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Rasor. (To MADEM.] Unmask, for the honour Belinda, you
think you triumph over a rival now: of France.
Helas ! ma pauvre fille. Where'er I am a rival, All. Mademoiselle !
there's no cause for mirth. No, my poor wretch, Madem. Me ask ten tousand pardon of all de 'tis from another principle I have acted. I knew gooil company.
that thing there would make so perverse a husSir John. Why, this mystery thickens, instead band, and you so impertinent a wife, that lest your of clearing up. (To Rasor.] You son of a whore mutual plagues should make you both run mad, I you, put us out of our pain.
charitably would have broke the match. He, he, Rusor. One moment brings sunshine. (Shewing he, he, he ! MADEM.] 'Tis true, this is the woman that (Erit, laughing affectedly, MADEM. followten:pted me, but this is the serpent that tempted the woman; and if my prayers might be heard, Madem. He, he, he, he, he! her punishment for so doing should be like the All. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! serpent's of old- [Pulls off' Lady FANCYFUL'S Sir John. (Aside.] Why now, this woman will musk] -- she should lie upon her face all the days be married to somebody too. of her life.
Bel. Poor creature ! What a passion she is in! All. Lady Fancyful!
but I forgive her. Bel. Impertinent !
Heart. Since you have so much goodness for L., Brute. Ridiculous !
her, I hope you'll pardon my offence too, madam. Al Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Bel. There will be no great difficulty in that, Bel. I hope your ladyship will give me leave to since I am guilty of an equal fault. wish you joy, since you have owned your marri. Heart. So, madam, now had the parson but age yourself.—[To HEART.) I vow 'twas strange- donc his businessly wicked in you to think of another wife, when Bel. You'd be half
weary your bargain. you have one already so charming as her lady- Heart. No, sure, I might dispense with one ship.
night's lodging. AN. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Bel. I am ready to try, sir. L. Fun. (aside.] Confusion seize 'em, as it Heart. Then let's to church; seizes me!
And if it be our chance to disagreeMudem. Que le diable etouffe ce maraut de Bil. Take heed—the surly husband's fate you Pasor!
Bel. Your ladyship seems disordered: a breed. Sir John. Surly I may be, stubborn I am not, ing qualm, perhaps, Mr Heartfree: your bottle of For I have both forgiven and forgot ; Hungary water to your lady. Why, madam, be If so, be these our judges, Mrs Pert, stands as unconcerned as if he were your hus- 'Tis more by any goodness, than your desert. band in earnest.
(Exeunt omnes. L. Fun. Your mirth's as nauseous as yourself.
SPOKEN BY LADY BRUTE AND BELINDA.
L. Brute. No epilogue !
L. Brute. O, for the world I would not have preBel. I swear I know of none.
cedence. L. Brute, Lord! How shall we excuse it to the Bel. O Lord ! town?
L. Brute. I swear
L. Brute. I'm all obedience,
First, then, know all, before our doom cious stuit
The third day is for us-
Nay, and the sixth. L. Brute. Excuse me:-after you.
L. Brule. We speak not from the poet now, nos Nay, pardon me for that, I know my
His cause—(I want a rhyme)-
L. Brute. Then sure you cannot have the hearts
to be severe,
And damn us Bel. Damn us! Let 'em, if they dare. L. Brute. Why, if they should, what punishment
We can be gratefulBel. . And have wherewithall. L. Brute. But as grand treaties hope not to be
Before preliminaries are adjusted, Bel. You know the time, and we appoint
this place, Where, if you please, we'll meet, and
sign the peace.
Bel. Eternal exile from behind our scenes. L. Brute. But if they're kind, that sentence we'll
SPOKEN BY A SHABBY POET.
YE gods! what crime had my poor father done, Your fire has made him play a thousand pranks, That
you should make a poet of his son? For which, no doubt, you've had his daily thanks. Or is't for some great services of his,
He'as thank'd you
first for all his decent plays, Yare pleased to compliment his boy, -withe Where he so nick'd it, when he writ for praise; this ? [Shewing his crown of laurel. Next, for his meddling with some folk in black,
And bringing.-souse-a priest upon his back ; The honour, I must needs confess, is great, For building houses here, t'oblige the peers, If, with his crown, you'd tell him where to eat. And fetching all their house about his ears; 'Tis well—But I have more complaints-look for a new play he'as now thought fit to write, here!
(Shewing his ragged coat. To soothe the town—which they-will damn toHark ye:-D'ye think this suit good winter wear? night. In a cold morning, -wbu—at a lord's gate, How you have let the porter let me wait !
These benefits are such, no man can doubt You'll say, perhaps, you knew I'd get no harm ; But he'll go on, and set your fancy out, You'd given me fire enough to keep me warm. Till, for reward of all his noble deeds, Ah
At last, like other sprightly folks, he speeds ; A world of blessings to that fire we owe; Has this great recompence fixed on his brow Without it I'd ne'er made this princely show. As fam’d Parnassus; has your leave to bow I have a brother too, now in my sight,
And walk about the streets-equipp'd-as I am (Looking behind the scenes. A busy man amongst us here to-night:
ARAMINTA, Wife to MONEYTRAP, very intimate ,
with CLARISSA, of the sume humour. MONEYTRAP, ,} two rich Money-scriteners.
Corinna, Duughter to GRIPE by a former Dick, a Gamester, son to Mrs Amlet.
wife, a good fortune, young, and kept vrry Brass, his Companion, pusses for his valet de
close by her father. chambre.
FLIPPANTA, CLARissa's Maid. CLIP, a Goldsmith.
Mrs AMLET, a Seller of all sorts of private Af: JESSAMIN, Foot-boy to CLARISSA.
fairs to the Ladies.
Mrs CLOGGIT, her Neighbour,
SCENE,-London.-The Tim2 equal to that of the Representation.
SCENE 1.-Covent Garden.
Mrs Clog. Good lack-a-day, that women born
of sober parents should be prone to follow ill ex. Enter Mrs AMLET and Mrs ClOGGIT, meeting. amples ! But now we talk of quality—when did Mrs Am. Good morrow, neighbour, good mor
you hear of your son Richard, Mrs Amlet? My row, neighbour Cloggit. How does all at your laced coat, with three fine ladies, his footman at
daughter Flipp says she met bim t'other day in a house this morning ?
Mrs Clog. Thank you kindly, Mrs Amlet, thank his heels, and as gay as a bridegroom. you kindly; how do you do, I pray?
Mrs Am. Is it possible ? Ah, the rogue ! Well, Mrs Am. At the old rate, neighbour, poor and neighbour, all's well that ends well; but Dick honest. These are hard times, good lack.
will be hanged. Mrs Clog. If they are hard with you, what are
Mrs Clog. That were pity. they with us? You have a good trade going; all
Mrs Am. Pity indeed ; for he's a hopeful young the great folks in town help you off with your where he has it, Heaven knows; but they say he
man to look on; but he leads a life-Wellmerchandise.
Mrs ilm. Yes, they do help us of with 'em in- pays his club with the best of 'em. I have seen deed; they buy all.
him but once these three months, neighbour, and Mis Clog. And pay
then the varlet wanted money; but I bid him Airs Am. For some.
march, and march he did to some purpose ; for in Mirs Clog. Well, tis a thousand pities, Mrs less than an hour, back comes my gentleman into Amlet, they are not as ready at one as they are
the house, walks to and fro in the room, with his at t’other; for, not to wrong 'em, they give very wig over his shoulder, his hat on one side, whistgood rates.
ling a minuet, and tossing a purse of gold from Mrs Am. O, for that let us do 'em justice, neigh
one hand to t'other, with no other respect (Heabour; they never make two words about the
ven bless us !) than if it had been an orange. Sir. price; all they haggle about is the day of payment. rah, says !, where have you got thet? He answers Ifrs Clog. There's all the dispute, as you say.
me never a word, but sets his arms a kimbo, cocks Mrs Am. But that's a wicked one.
his saucy hat in my face, turns about upon his part, neighbour, I'm just tired off my legs with ungracious heel, as much as to say, kiss- -and trotting after 'em; besides, it cats out all our pro- I've never set eye on him since. fit. Would you believe it, Mrs Cloggit, I have
Mrs Clog. Look you there now; to see what worn out four pair of pattens, with following my the youth of this age are come to. old lady Youthful, for one set of false teeth, and
Mrs Amn. See what they will come to, neighbut three pots of paint.
b.vur. Heaven shield, I say, but Dick's the Mrs Clog. Look you there now.
gallop. Well, I must bid you good morrow : I'm Mrs Am. If they would but once let me get going where I doubt I shall meet but a sorry welenough by 'em to keep a coach to carry me a dunning after 'em, there would be some conscience Mrs Clog. To get in some old debt, I'll warrant in it.
you? Mrs Clog. Ay, that were something. But now
Mrs Am. Neither better nor worse. you talk of conscience, Mrs Amlet-how do you Mrs Clog. From a lady of quality ? speed amongst your city customers ?
Mrs Am. No, she's but a scrivener's wife; but irs Am. My city customers! Now, by my she lives as well, and pays as ill as the stateliest truth, neighbour, between the city and the court countess of 'em all. (Exeunt several ways. (with reverence be it spoken) there's not a
• Enter BRASS, solus. to choose. My ladies in the city, in times past, were as full of gold as they were of religion, and Brass. Well, surely through the world's wide as punctual in their payments as they were in extent there never appeared so impudent a feltheir prayers; but since they have set their minds low as my schoolfellow Dick; pass himself upon upon quality, adieu one, adieu t'other; their mo- the town for a gentleman, drop into all the best ney and their consciences are gone, Heaven knows company with an easy air, as if bis natural elewhere. There's not a goldsmith's wife to be ment were in the sphere of quality; when the found in town, but is as hard-hearted as an ancient rogue bad a kettle-drum to his father, who was judge, and as poor as a towering duchess. hanged for robbing a church, and has a pedlar to
Mrs Clog. But what the murrain have they to his mother, who carries her shop under her arm. do with quality? why don't their husbands make But here he comes. 'em mind their shops?
Enter Dick. Mrs Am. Their husbands ! their husbands, sayest thou, woman? Alack, alack, they mind Dick. Well, Brass, what news ? Hast thou given their husbands, neighbour, no more than they do my letter to Flippanta?
Brass. I'm but just come; I ba’n't knocked at
the door yet. But I have a damned piece of news | right on't: I must fix my affairs quickly, or Ma
dam Fortune will be playing some of her bitchDick, As how?
tricks with me; therefore l’il tell thee what we'll Brass. We must quit this country.
do : we'll pursue this old rogue's daughter heartiDick. We'll be hanged first.
ly; we'll cheat his family to purpose, and they Brass. So you will, if you stay.
shall atone for the rest of mankind. Dick. Why, what's the matter?
Brass. Have at her then, and I'll about your Brass. There's a storm a-coming.
business presently. Dick. From whence?
Dick. One kiss—and success attend thee. Brass. From the worst point in the compass,
(Exit Dick. -the law.
Brass. A great rogue-Well, I say nothing; Dick. The law! Why, what have I to do with but when I have got the thing into a good posthe law ?
ture, he shall sign and seal, or I'll have bim tumBrass. Nothing; and therefore it has some bled out of the house like a cheese. Now for thing to do with you.
(He knocks. Dick. Explain. Brass. You know you cheated a young fellow
Enter FLIPPANTA. at piquet, t'other day, of the money he had to Flip. Who's that ? Brass ! raise his company;
Brass. Flippanta! Dick. Well, what then?
Flip. What want you, rogue’s-face? Brass. Why, he's sorry he lost it.
Bruss. Is your mistress dressed ? Dick. Who doubts that?
Flip. What, already? Is the fellow drunk ? Brass, Ay, but that is not all ; he's such a fool Brass. Why, with respect to her looking-glass, to think of complaining on't.
it's almost two. Dick. Then I must be so wise to stop his mouth. Flip. What then, fool ? Brass. How?
Brass. Why, then it's time for the mistress of Dick. Give him a little back; if that won't do, the house to come down, and look after her fastrangle him.
mily. Bruss. You are very quick in your methods. Flip. Pr’ythee don't be an owl. Those that go Dick. Men must be so that will dispatch busi- to bed at night may rise in the morning; we that
go to bed in the morning rise in the afternoon. Brass. Hark you, colonel ; your father died in's Brass. When does she make her visits, then? bed?
Flip. By candle light: it helps off a muddy Dick. He might have done, if he had not been complexion : we women hate inquisitive sunshine. a fool.
But do you know that my lady is going to turn Brass. Why, he robbed a church.
good housewife? Dick. Ay, but he forgot to make sure of the Brass. What, is she going to die? sexton.
Flip. Die ! Brass. Are not you a great rogue ?
Brass. Why, that's the only way to save money Dick. Or I should wear worse clothes.
for her family. Brass. Hark you; I would advise you to change Flip. No; but she has thought of a project to
save chair hire. Dick. And turn ballad-singer?
Brass. As how ? Bruss. Not so neither.
Flip. Why, all the company she used to keep Dick. What then?
abroad, she now intends shall meet at her own Brass. Why, if you can get this young wench, house. Your master has advised her to set up a reform, and live honest.
basset-table. Dick. That's the way to be starved.
Brass. Nay, if he advised her to it, it's right; Bruss. No, she has money enough to buy you but has she acquainted her husband with it yet? a good place, and pay me into the bargain, for Fiip. What to do? When the company meet, helping her to so good a match. You have but he'll see them. this throw left to save you; for you are not igno- Bruss. Nay, that's true; as you say, he'll know rant, youngster, that your morals begin to be it soon enough. pretty well known about town : have a care your Flip. Well, I must be gone: have you any noble birth and your bonourable relations are not business with my lady? discovered too; there needs but that to have you Bruss. Yes; as ambassador from Araminta, I tossed in a blanket, for the entertainment of the have a letter for her. first company of ladies you intrude into ; and then, Flip. Give it me. like a dutiful son, you may daggle about with Brass. Hold- -and as first minister of state your mother, and sell paint : she's old and weak, to the colonel, I have an affair to communicate te and wants somebody to carry her goods after her. thee. How like a dog will you look, with a pair of plod Flip. What is't? Quick. shoes, your hair cropped up to your ears, and a Bruss. Why-he's in love. band-box under your arm !
Flip. With what? Dick. Why, faith, Brass, I think thou art in the Brass. A woman and her money together.