And canst in conscience not refuse,

From thy own doctrine, to raise use:
I know thou wilt not, for my sake,
Be tender conscienc'd of thy back:
Then strip thee of thy carnal jerken,
And give thy outward-fellow a firking;
For when thy vessel is new hoop'd,

445

All leaks of sinning will be stopp'd.

450

Quoth Ralpho, You mistake the matter:

For in all scruples of this nature,

No man includes himself, nor turns

The point upon his own concerns.
As no man of his own-self catches
The itch, or amorous French aches;
So no man does himself convince,

455

By his own doctrine, of his sins:

And though all cry down self, none means

His own-self in a lit'ral sense;

460

Beside, it is not only foppish,
But vile, idolatrous, and popish,

For one man, out of his own skin,

To firk and whip another's sin;

As pedants out of school boy's breeches

465

Do claw and curry their own itches.

But in this case it is profane,

And sinful too, because in vain;

For we must take our oaths upon it,

You did the deed, when I have done it.

Quoth Hudibras, That's answer'd soon:

Give us the whip, we'll lay it on.

Quoth Ralpho, That we may swear true, 'Twere proper that I whipped you:

470

For when with your consent 'tis done,

475

The act is really your own.

Quoth Hudibras, It is in vain,

I see, to argue 'gainst the grain;

Or, like the stars, incline men to

What they're averse themselves to do;

480

For when disputes are weary'd out,

'Tis int'rest still resolves the doubt;

But since no reason can confute ye,
I'll try to force ye to your duty;
For so it is, howe'er you mince it,

485

As e'er we part we shall evince it ;
And curry, if you stand out, whether
You will or no, your stubborn leather.
Canst thou refuse to bear thy part

I' th' public work, base as thou art?

490

To higgle thus, for a few blows,

To gain thy knight an op❜lent spouse;

Whose wealth his bowels yearn to purchase,

Merely for th' interest of the churches?

And when he has it in his claws,

495

Will not be hide-bound to the cause?

Nor shalt thou find him a curmudgin,

If thou dispatch it without grudging.
If not, resolve before we go,

That you and I must pull a crow.

500

Y' had best, quoth Ralpho, as the ancients

Say wisely, Have a care o' th' main chance,
And look before you ere you leap;

For as you sow, y' are like to reap:

And were y' as good as George a Green,

505

I shall make bold to turn again ;

Nor am I doubtful of the issue

In a just quarrel, and mine is so.

Is't fitting for a man of honour

To whip the saints like Bishop Bonner?

510

A knight t'usurp the beadle's office,

For which y' are like to raise brave trophies:

But I advise you not for fear,

But for your own sake, to forbear;

And for the churches, which may chance
From hence to spring a variance;

And raise among themselves new scruples,
Whom common danger hardly couples.
Remember how in arms and politics,

515

We still have worsted all your holy tricks ; 520
Trepann'd your party with intrigue,

And took your grandees down a peg;
New-modell'd th' army, and cashier'd
All that to legion Smec adher'd;
Made a mere utensil o' your church,

And after left it in the lurch,

A scaffold to build up our own,

525

And when w' had done with 't, pull'd it down;
Capoch'd your rabbins of the synod,

And snapt their canons with a why-not.
(Grave synod-men that were rever'd
For solid face, and depth of beard,)
Their classic model prov'd a maggot,

Their directory an Indian pagod ;

530

And drown'd their discipline like a kitten, 535 On which th' had been so long a fitting;

Decry'd it as a holy cheat

Grown out of date and obsolete,

And all the saints of the first grass,

As casting foals of Bala'm's ass.

540

At this the knight grew high in chafe, And staring furiously on Ralph,

He trembled, and look'd pale with ire,

Like ashes first, then red as fire.
Have I, quoth he, been ta'en in fight,

545

And for so many moons laid by 't?

They were not safe when I was there;

Now to be baffled by a scoundrel,

An upstart sect'ry, and a mongrel:

Such as breed out of peccant humours

555

Of our own church, like wens and tumours,