And prove myself by topic clear,

No gelding, as you would infer.

Loss of virility 's averr'd

To be the cause of loss of beard,

710

That does (like embryo in the womb).

Abortive on the chin become.

This first a woman did invent,

In envy of man's ornament,

Semiramis of Babylon,

715

Who first of all cut men o' the stone,

Have but two legs, and ne'er a tail.

Quoth she, That nothing will avail; For some philosophers of late here

725

Write, men have four legs by nature,
And that 't is custom makes them go

Erroneously upon but two;

As 'twas in Germany made good

B' a boy that lost himself in a wood,

730

And growing down t' a man, was wont

With wolves upon all four to hunt.

As for your reasons drawn from tails,
We cannot say they're true or false,

Till you explain yourself, and show,

735

B' experiment, 'tis so or no.

Quoth he, If you'll join issue on 't, I'll give you satisfact'ry account;

To one that wants a tail, by me;

For tails by nature sure were meant,

As well as beards, for ornament;

And though the vulgar count them homely, 745
In man or beast they are so comely,
So genteel, alamode, and handsome,
I'll never marry one that wants one;
And till you can demonstrate plain,
You have one equal to your mane,
I'll be torn piece-meal by a horse,
Ere I'll take you for better or worse.
The Prince of Cambay's daily food

750

Which makes him have so strong a breath, 755

Each night he stinks a queen to death;

Yet I shall rather lie in 's arms

Than your's, on any other terms.

Quoth he, What nature can afford,
I shall produce, upon my word;
And if she ever gave that boon
To man, I'H prove that I have one;
I mean by postulate illation,
When you shall offer just occasion.

But since y' have yet denied to give

760

765

My heart, your prisoner, a reprieve,

But made it sink down to my heel,
Let that at least your pity feel;

And for the sufferings of your martyr,
Give its poor entertainer quarter;
And by discharge, or main-prize, grant
Deliv'ry from this base restraint.

Quoth she, I grieve to see your leg
Stuck in a hole here like a peg;

And if I knew which way to do 't, (Your honor safe,) I'd let you out. That dames by jail-delivery

Of errant knight have been set free,

770

775

When by inchantment they have been,
And sometimes for it too, laid in;

Is that which knights are bound to do

By order, oath, and honor too;

For what are they renown'd and famous else,

But aiding of distressed demoiselles?

780

For 'tis a service must be done ye,

With solemn previous ceremony:
Which always has been us'd to untie

The charms of those who here do lie:

800

For as the ancients heretofore

To Honor's temple had no door,

But that which through Virtue's lay;
So from this dungeon there's no way
To honor'd freedom, but by passing
That other virtuous school of lashing,
Where knights are kept in narrow lists,
With wooden lockets 'bout their wrists;
In which they for a while are tenants,
And for their ladies suffer penance:

Whipping, that's Virtue's governess,
Tut'ress of arts and sciences;

That mends the gross-mistakes of Nature,

And puts new life into dull matter;

That lays foundation for renown,

805

810

815

They're to their ancient seats convey'd.
Now, if you'll venture, for my sake,
To try the toughness of your back,

825