THE VISIT OF ST. NICHOLAS. XV. - THE VISIT OF ST. NICHOLAS. - 289 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name: And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack ; He had a broad face, and a little round belly, And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose. OUT of the tavern I've just stepped to-night: Moon, 't is a very queer figure you cut; Then the street-lamps, what a scandalous sight ! All is confusion:- now, is n't it odd? Sure it were rash with this crew to remain, – 291 A FELLOW, XVIII. — THE RAZOR-SELLER. in a market-town, most musical, cried "Razors ! " up and down, and offered twelve for eighteen-pence; which cer tainly seemed wondrous cheap, and, for the money, quite a heap, as every man should buy with cash and sense. A country bumpkin the great offer heard: poor Hodge, who suffered by a thick, black beard, that seemed a shoe-brush stuck beneath his nose. With cheerfulness the eighteen-pence he paid, and proudly to himself, in whispers, said, "This rascal stole the razors, I suppose! No matter if the fellow be a knave, provided that the razors shave! It sartinly will be a monstrous prize." So, home the clown with his good fortune went, smiling in heart and soul content and quickly soaped himself to ears and eyes. "Ah!" Being well lathered from a dish or tub, Hodge now began with grinning pain to grub, just like a hedger cutting furze. "T was a vile razor then the rest he tried. All were impostors. Hodge sighed, "I wish my eighteen-pence were in my purse!" In vain to chase his beard, and bring the graces, he cut, and dug, and winced, and stamped, and swore; brought blood, and danced, gaped, grinned, and made wry faces, and tried each razor's body o'er and o'er! His muzzle, formed of opposition stuff, erect and wiry, would not lose its ruff; so kept it- laughing at the steel and suds. Hodge, in a passion, stretched his angry jaws, vowing the direst vengeance, with clinched claws, on the vile cheat that sold the goods. "Razors! a vile confounded dog! Not fit to scrape a hog!" Hodge sought the fellow-found him, and began-"Perhaps, Master Razor-rogue, to you 't is fun, that people flay themselves out of their lives. You rascal! for an hour have I been grubbing, giving my scoundrel whiskers here a scrubbing, with razors just like oyster-knives. Sirrah! I tell you, you're a knave, to cry up razors that can't shave." "Friend," quoth the razor-merchant, "I'm no knave. As for the razors you have bought, upon my word, I never thought that they would shave.”- "Not think they'd shave!" cried Hodge, with wondering eyes, and voice not much unlike an Indian yell. "What were they made for, then, you dog?" he cries. "Made!" quoth the fellow, with a smile, 66 to sell!" WOLCOTT (altered). XIX. THE DIRECTING POST. In winter, once, an honest traveling wight At length he came to where some four roads met, - It out and after much of poring, fumbling, ADDRESS TO AN EGYPTIAN MUMMY. Ay, hang it, that may be, for you maun know, 293 ANON. XX. - ADDRESS TO AN EGYPTIAN MUMMY. AND thou hast walked about (how strange a story!) And Time had not begun to overthrow Speak! for thou long enough hast acted dummy; come, let us hear its tune; Thou 'rt standing on thy legs, above ground, Mummy! Revisiting the glimpses of the moon, Not like thin ghosts or disembodied creatures, Tell us, for doubtless thou canst recollect, To whom should we assign the Sphinx's fame? Was Cheops or Ce-phre'nes architect * Of either pyramid that bears his name? Is Pompey's Pillar really a misnomer? Had Thebes a hundred gates, as sung by Homer? Perhaps thou wert a mason, and forbidden By oath to tell the mysteries of thy trade; Then say what secret melody was hidden In Memnon's statue, which at sunrise played? Perhaps thou wert a priest, and hast been dealing In human blood, and horrors past revealing. Perchance that very hand, now pinioned flat, Has hob-a-nobbed with Pharaoh, glass to glass; Or dropped a halfpenny in Homer's hat, Or doffed thine own to let Queen Dido pass, Or held, by Solomon's own invitation, A torch at the great temple's dedication. *The ch in this word has the sound of k. |