Another REASONABLE AFFLICTION.
FROM her own native France as old Alifon paft,She reproach'd English Nell with neglect or with
That the flattern had left, in the hurry and haste,
Her lady's complexion and eye-brows at Calais.
HER eye-brow-box one morning loft,
(The beft of folks are ofteneft croft).
Sad Helen thus to Jenny faid
(Her carelefs but afflicted maid),
Put me to bed then, wretched Jane;
Alas! when shall I rife again?
I can behold no mortal now:
For what 's an eye without a brow?
Na dark corner of the house
Poor Helen fits, and fobs, and cries;
She will not fee her loving fpoufe,
Nor her more dear picquet allies:
Unless she find her eye-brows,
She'll e'en weep out her eyes.
HELEN was juft flipt into bed:
Her eye-brows on the toilet lay:
Away the kitten with them fled,
As fees belonging to her prey.
For this misfortune careless Jane,
Affure yourself, was loudly rated:
And madam, getting up again,
With her own hand the mouse-trap baited.
On little things, as fages write, Depends our human joy or forrow: If we don't catch a mouse to-night, Alas! no eye-brows for to-morrow.
OW old may Phyllis be, you afk,
Whose beauty thus all hearts engages?
To answer is no easy task:
For fhe has really two ages.
Stiff in brocade, and pinch'd in ftays,
Her patches, paint, and jewels on;
All day let Envy view her face,
And Phyllis is but twenty-one.
Paint, patches, jewels laid afide,
At night Aftronomers agree,
The evening has the day bely'd;
And Phyllis is fome forty-three.
FORMA BONUM FRAGILE.
HAT a frail thing is Beauty, fays baron Le Cras,
Perceiving his Mistress had one eye of glass :
And scarcely had he spoke it;
When the more confus'd, as more angry she grew,
By a negligent rage prov'd the maxim too true :
She dropt the eye, and broke it.
AN EPIGRA M.
Written to the Duke de NOAILLES.
VAIN the concern which you exprefs,
That uncall'd Alard will poffefs
Your house and coach, both day and night,
And that Macbeth was haunted lefs
By Banquo's reftlefs fpright.
With fifteen thousand pounds a year,
Do you complain, you cannot bear
An ill, you may so foon retrieve?
Good Alard, faith, is modefter
By much than you believe.
Lend him but fifty Louis-d'or;
And you fhall never fee him more:
Take the advice; probatum eft.
Why do the Gods indulge our store,
But to fecure our reft?
EPILOGUE to SMITH'S PHEDRA and HIPPOLYTUS, Spoken by Mrs. OLDFIELD, who acted ISMENA.
LADIES, to-night your pity I implore
For one, who never troubled you before:
An Oxford-man, extremely read in Greek,
Who from Euripides makes Phædra speak ;
And comes to town to let us Moderns know,
How women lov'd two thousand years ago.
If that be all, faid I, e'en burn your play:
Egad! we know all that as well as they :
Shew us the youthful, handfome charioteer,
Firm in his feat, and running his career;
Our fouls would kindle with as generous flames,
As e'er infpir'd the antient Grecian dames :
Every Ifmena would refign her breast;
And every dear Hippolytus be bleft.
But, as it is, fix flouncing Flanders mares
Are e'en as good as any two of theirs:
And, if Hippolytus can but contrive
To buy the gilded chariot, John can drive.
Now of the buftle you have feen to-day,
And Phædra's morals in this scholar's play,
Something at least in justice should be faid;
But this Hippolytus fo fills one's head-
Well! Phædra liv'd as chaftely as the cou'd ;
For the was Father Jove's own flesh and blood.
Her aukward love indeed was oddly fated;
She and her Poly were too near related;
And yet that fcruple had been laid aside,
If honeft Thefeus had but fairly dy'd:
But when he came, what needed he to know,
But that all matters ftood in ftatu qua?
There was no harm, you fee; or, grant there were,
She might want conduct; but he wanted care.
'Twas in a husband little less than rude,
Upon his wife's retirement to intrude-
He should have fent a night or two before,
That he would come exact at fuch an hour;
Then he had turn'd all tragedy to jeft;
Found every thing contribute to his reft;
The picquet-friend difmifs'd, the coast all clear,
And spouse alone impatient for her dear.
But, if these gay reflections come too late,
To keep the guilty Phædra from her fate ;
If your more serious judgement must condemn
The dire effects of her unhappy flame :
Yet, ye
chafte matrons, and ye tender fair,
Let Love and Innocence engage your care:
My spotless flames to your protection take;
And spare poor Phædra for Ifmena's fake.
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