Our Don, who knew this tittle-tattle
Did, fure as trumpet, call to battle,
Thought it extremely à propos,

To ward against the coming blow:

To ward: but how? Ay, there's the queftion;
Fierce the affault, unarm'd the bastion.

The Doctor feign'd a ftrange furprize :
He felt her pulse; he view'd her eyes:
That beat too faft, these roll'd too quick;
She was, he faid, or would be fick :
He judg'd it abfolutely good,

That she should purge, and cleanse her blood.
Spa waters for that end were got:

If they past easily or not,

What matters it? the lady's fever
Continued violent as ever.

For a diftemper of this kind
(Blackmore and Hans are of my mind),
If once it youthful blood infects,
And chiefly of the female sex,
Is fcarce remov'd by pill or potion;
Whate'er might be our Doctor's notion.

One luckless night then, as in bed
The Doctor and the Dame were laid;
Again this cruel fever came,

High pulfe, fhort breath, and blood in flame.

What measures fhall poor Paulo keep

With Madam in this piteous taking?

She, like Macbeth, has murder'd fleep,

And won't allow him reft,, though waking.

Sad

Sad ftate of matters! when we dare
Nor ask for peace, nor offer war;
Nor Livy nor Comines have shown
What in this juncture may be done.
Grotius might own, that Paulo's cafe is
Harder, than any which he places
Amongst his Belli and his Pacis.

He ftroye, alas! but ftrove in vain,

By dint of logick to maintain,

That all the fex was born to grieve,

Down to her Ladyship from Eve.

He rang'd his tropes, and preach'd-up patience,
Back'd his opinion with quotations,
Divines and Moralifts; and run ye on
Quite through from Seneca to Bunyan.
As much in vain he bid her try

To fold her arms, to clofe her eye; T
Telling her, reft would do her good,
If any thing in nature could:

So held the Greeks quite down from Galen,
Masters and princes of the calling :

So all our modern friends maintain

(Though no great Greeks) in Warwick-lane. Reduce, my Mufe, the wandering fong :

A tale fhould never be too long.

The more he talk'd, the more she burn'd,

And figh'd, and toft, and groan'd, and turn'd.
At laft, I wish, faid fhe, my dear

(And whifper'd fomething in his ear).
L 2

You

You wish! with on, the Doctor cries:
Lord when will womankind be wife?
What, in your waters? are you mad?
Why poison is not half fo bad.

I'll do it

but I give you warning:
You'll die before to-morrow morning.
'Tis kind, my dear, what you advise;
The lady with a figh replies !
But life, you know, at beft is pain;
And death is what we fhould disdain.
So do it therefore, and adieu :
For I will die for love of you.
Let wanton wives by death be fcar'd:
But, to my comfort, I'm prepar'd.

TH

HE fceptics think, 'twas long ago,
Since gods came down incognito,

To fee who were their friends or foes,
And how our actions fell or rose :

That, fince they gave things their beginning
And fet this whirligig a-spinning;
Supine they in their Heaven remain,
Exempt from paffion and from pain :
And frankly leave us human elves,
To cut and fhuffle for ourselves :
To ftand or walk, to rife or tumble,
As matter and as motion jumble.

The

The Poets now and Painters hold
This thefis both abfurd and bold :
And your good-natur'd gods, they fay,
Defcend some twice or thrice a-day:
Elfe all these things we toil fo hard in
Would not avail one fingle farthing:
For, when the hero we rehearse,

To grace
his actions and our verse;
'Tis not by dint of human thought,
That to his Latium he is brought;
Iris defcends by Fate's commands,
To guide his fteps through foreign lands:
And Amphitrite clears the way
From rocks and quick-fands in the fea.
And if you fee him in a sketch
(Though drawn by Paulo or Carache),
He fhews not half his force and strength,
Strutting in armour, and at length :
That he may make his proper figure,
The piece muft yet be four yards bigger:
The nymphs conduct him to the field;
One holds his fword, and one his shield:
Mars, standing by, afferts his quarrel;
And Fame flies after with a laurel.

These points, I fay, of fpeculation,
(As 'twere to fave or fink the nation)
Men idly-learned will difpute,
Affert, object, confirm, refute :
Each mighty angry, mighty right,
With equal arms sustains the fight;

Till now no umpire can agree 'em :

So both draw off, and fing Te Deum.
Is it in equilibrio,

If deities defcend or no?

Then let th' affirmative prevail,
As requifite to form my tale :
For by all parties 'tis confeft,
That thofe opinions are the best,
Which in their nature moft conduce
To prefent ends, and private ufe.

Two gods came therefore from above,
One Mercury, the other Jove :
The humour was (it feems) to know,
If all the favours they bestow,

Could from our own perverseness ease us ;
And if our with enjoy'd would pleafe us.
Difcourfing largely on this theme,
O'er hills and dales their godfhips came;
Till, well nigh tir'd at almost night,
They thought it proper to alight.

Note here, that it as true as odd is,
That in difguife a god or goddess
Exerts no fupernatural powers;

But acts on maxims much like ours.
They spied at last a country farm,

Where all was fnug, and clean, and warm;

For woods before, and hills behind,

Secur'd it both from rain and wind:

Large oxen in the field were lowing:

Good grain was fow'd: good fruit was growing:

Of