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R E T A L I A TI ON:
Dr. Goldsmith and some of his friends occasionally dine! at the St. James's coffee house. -One day it was proposed to write epitaphs on him. His country, dialect, and perfon, furnished subjefts of witticism. He was called on for RETALIATION, and at their next meeting, produced the following poern.
Fold, when Scarron his companions invited,
O he was
united; If our* landlord supplies us with beef and with fish, Let each guest bring himself, and he brings the best dish: Our + dean shall be venison, juft fresh from the plains ; Our Burke fhall be tongue, with a garnish of brains ;
* The master of the St. James's coffee-honse where the doctor, and the friends he has characterized in this poem, occasionally dined.
† Doctor Barnard, dean of Derry in Ireland.
# Mr Edmund Burke, member for Wendover, and one of the greatest orators in this Kingdom.
Will shall be wild fowl, of excellent flavour, and † Dick with his pepper shall heighten their favour : Our | Cumberland's sweet-bread its place shall obtain, And || Douglas is pudding, fubftantial and plain : Our ý Garrick's a sallad, for in him we see Oil, vinegar, sugar, and faltness agree : To make out the dinner full certain I am, That Ridge is anchovy, and ** Reynolds is lamb; That ft Hickey's a capon, and by the same rule, Magnanimous Goldsmith a goofberry fool. At a dinner so various, at such a repast, Who'd not be a glutton, and stick to the lait ?
* Mr William Burke, late secretary to general Con. way, and member for Bedwin.
+ Mr Richard Burke, Collector of Granada.
I Mr Richard Cumberland, author of the West Indian, Fashionable Lover, the Brothers, and other dra. matic pieces.
|| Doctor Douglas, cannon of Windsor, an ingenious Scotch gentleman, who has no less diitinguished himself as a citizen of the world, thian a found critic, in detecting several literary mistakes (or rather forgeries) of his countrymen ; particularly Lauder on Milton, and Bower's History of the Popes,
& David Garrick, Esq; joint patentee, and acting manager of the Theatre-royal, Drury-lane.
Counsellor John Ridge, a gentleman belonging to the Irish bar; the relish of whore conversation was juftly compared to an anchovy.
** Sir Joshua Reynolds, president of the Royal Academy.
tt An eminent attorney.
Here, waiter, more wine, let me fit while I'm able,
Here lies the good * dean, re-united to earth, Who mixt reason with pleasure, and wisdom with mirth: If he had any faults, he has left us in doubt, At least in six weeks, I could not find'em out; Yet some have declar'd, and it can't be deny'd 'em, That fly-boots was cursedly cunning to hide 'em.
Here lies our good † Edmund, whose genius was We scarcely can praise it, or blame it too much; Who, born for the universe narrow'd bis mind, And to party gave up what was meant for mankind. Tho' fraught with all learning, yet ftraining his throat, To persuade + Tommy Townshend to lend liim a vote; Who, too deep for his hearers, fill went on refining, And thought of convincing, while they thought of Tho' equal to all things, for all things unfit, Too nice for a statesman, too proud for a wil :
a patriot too cool ; for a drudge disobedient ; And too fond of the right to pursue the expedient. In short, 'twas his fate, unemploy'd, or in place, fir, To eat mution cold, and cut blocks with a razor.
Vide + Vide page 199
Mr T. Townthend, member for Whitechurch.
Here lies honeft * William, whose heart was a mint, While the owner ne'er knew half the good that was in't; The pupil of inpulse, it forc'd him along, His conduct till right, with his argument wrong; Still aiming at honour, yet fearing to roam, The coachman was tipsy, the chariot drove home; Would you ask for his merits ? alas! he had none; What was good was spontaneous, his faults were his
Here lies honelt Richard whose fate I must figh at; Alas that such frolic should now be so quiet! What spirits were his ! what wit and what whim; + Now breaking a jest, and now breaking a limb ? Now wrangling and grumbling to keep up the ball ! Now trazing and vexing, yet laughing at all! In short fo provoking a devil was Dick, That we wilied him full ten times a day at old nick ; But, missing his mirth and agreeable vein, As cften we wilh d to have Dick back again.
Here I Cumberland lies, having acted his parts,
* Vide page 2co.
t. Mr Richard Burke ; vide page 200. tleman having nightly fractured one of his arms and Jegs, at different times, the doctor has rallied him on those accidents, as a kind of retributive justice for breaking his jefis on other people.
† Vide page 200.
Like a tragedy queen he has dizen'd them out,
grew lazy at laft, and drew for himself?
Here * Douglas retires from his toils to relax,
gone, and:we want a detector, Our † Dodds shall be pious, our | Kenricks fhall | Macpherson write bombast, and call it a style, Our g Townshend make speeches, and I shall compile ; New q Lauders and Bowers the Tweed: Tall cross over, No countryman living their tricks to discover
* Vide page 200.
+ The Rev. Dr. Dodd. † Mr. Kenrick lately read lectures at the Devil tavern, under the title of "• The School of Shakespeare'
1. James Macpherson, Efq; who lately, from the mere force of his style, wrote down the first poet of all antiquity.
Ở Vide pago 2oo.