CHAPTER XXXIV.

THE RIVER.

Use as a highway-River slang-Rates of watermen-Description of wherries Pleasure parties and barges The Folly-Its frequentersGravesend tilt boat-Fares at the Horse Ferry-The Fleet Ditch. THE River Thames was then a veritable silent highway,' in the sense of affording transport for passengers for short distances. In fact, the wherries then took the places in a great measure of our present cabs; and a cry of 'Next Oars' or Sculls,' when anyone made his appearance at the top of 'the Stairs,' was synonymous with 'Hansom' or 'Four Wheeler.'

Poor Taylor, the Water Poet, had, more than half a century before, sung the decadence of this highway, but it still fairly held its own, and was in great request. When Sir Roger went with the Spectator to Spring Gardens, Foxhall (that naughty place where the 'wanton baggage' of a mask tapped the old knight on the shoulder, and asked him if he would drink a bottle of mead with her, and where Sir Roger told the mistress of the house' He should be a better Customer to her Garden, if there were more Nightingales, and fewer Strumpets'), he never dreamed of going any other way than by boat. He chose out the boatman with the wooden leg, and afterwards regaled him with the remains of their luncheon, to the waiter's astonishment.

Addison was writing a superfine paper 'for gentlemen, by gentlemen,' so he softens down the language for which the river was noted, and ignores the torrent of licentious ribaldry with which every boat greeted each other, and which was known as River Wit.' He certainly hints at it, but simply touches it, and then changes the subject. When Sir Roger,

in the kindliness of his heart and the forgetfulness of custom, bids the passing boats Good Night, he merely says, 'But to the Knight's great Surprize, as he gave the Good Night to two or three young Fellows a little before our Landing, one of them, instead of returning the Civility asked us what queer old Put we had in the Boat, and whether he was not ashamed to go a Wenching at his Years? with a great deal of the like Thames Ribaldry. Sir Roger seem'd a little shocked at first, but at length assuming a Face of Magistracy, told us, That if he were a Middlesex Justice, he would make such Vagrants know that Her Majesty's Subjects were no more to be abused by Water than by Land.'

But Brown gives us the unadulterated slang, which cannot possibly be reprinted for general perusal—indeed, his whole account of the river, although it is far too graphic to be omitted, and it gives us certainly the best contemporaneous description we have, must be somewhat expurgated to fit it for modern tastes. Finding my Companion thus agreeable to my Humour, I steer'd him down Blackfryars towards the Thames side, till coming near the Stairs, where from their Dirty Benches up started such a noisy multitude of old grizly Tritons, in sweaty Shirts, and short-skirted Doublets, hollowing and hooting out Next Oars and Skullers, shaking their Caps over their bald Noddles, seeming as overjoy'd to see us, as if we had been Foreign Princes come out of stark Love and Kindness to redeem them and their Families from Cruel Popery and Slavery. I bawl'd out as loud as a Speaking Trumpet, Next Oars, and away run Captain Charon from the Front of his wrangling Fraternity, with a Badge upon his Arm, that the World might behold whose Slave he was, and hollow'd to his Man Ben to bring the Boat near, whilst the rest withdrew to their Seats, calling one another Louzy Rogue and Sorry Rascal, giving us a clear passage without further Molestation.

Upon my Word, says my friend, I am glad we are past them, for this is one of the most ill looking Rabble, and from whom I had more apprehensions of Danger, than from any I have yet met with. 'Tis all, said I, but an Amusement, step into the Boat, sit down Watermen, row us up to Chelsea: No

sooner had we put off into the middle of the Stream, but our Charon and his Assistant (being jolly Fellows) began to scatter their verbal Wildfire on every side of them, their first Attack being on a Couple of fine Ladies with a Footman in the Stern, as follows. . . . One of the Ladies taking Courage, pluck'd up a Female Spirit of Revenge, and facing us with the Gallantry of an Amazon made the following return'. . Well! that awful piece of river chaff, which is still popularly supposed to arouse the ire of 'bargees.' 'Who eat puppy pie under Marlow Bridge?' was milk and water compared to the fearfully strong language this lady made use of, the mildest part of her speech being, 'talk not to a Woman, you surly Whelp, for you are fit for nothing, but like the Breed you come on, to crawl upon all four, and cry Bow wow at a Bear Garden.' And so on with every boat they met.

'After rowing for some time, we had arriv'd at that Port to which we had consign'd our selves, where we quitted our Boat, and offering old Charon Three Shillings, he swore he would have a Crown; but having the printed Rates in my Pocket, I was forc'd to lug out my Oracle before the Freshwater Looby would be convinc'd of his Error; and withal told him, Had it been in London, I would have carry'd him before my Lord Mayor, and have had him punish'd, for making, contrary to Law, so unreasonable a Demand. With that he takes the Money, and putting off his Boat, gave us a notable Farewel after the following manner-viz. You're a Couple of Niggardly Sons of; I care not a - for my Lord Mayor; the Rogue that printed that Book; take you for a Book-learn'd Blockhead; and confound him that taught you to read; and so we parted.'

Misson says, 'The little Boats upon the Thames, which are only for carrying of Persons, are light and pretty; some are row'd but by one Man, others by two; the former are call'd Scullers, and the latter Oars. They are reckon'd at several Thousands; but tho' there are indeed a great many, I believe the Number is exaggerated. The City of London being very long, it is a great Conveniency to be able sometimes to make Use of this Way of Carriage. You sit at your Ease upon Cushions, and have a Board to lean against; but generally they

have no Covering, unless a Cloth, which the Watermen set up immediately, in case of Need, over a few Hoops; and sometimes you are wet to the Skin for all this. It is easy to conceive that the Oars go faster than the Sculls, and accordingly their pay is doubled. You never have any Disputes with them; for you can go to no Part either of London, or the Country above or below it, but the Rate is fix'd by Authority; every Thing is regulated and printed.'

This, then, is a sample of the social amenities as then practised on the river, and the following are the

Rates of Watermen as they are set forth by the Lord Mayor and
Aldermen of the City of London.1

From London Bridge to Lime House, New Crane, Shad-
well Dock, Bell Wharf, Ratcliff Cross
To Wapping Dock, Wapping new and old Stairs, the
Hermitage, Rotherhith Church Stairs

From St. Olave's to Rotherhith Church Stairs, and
Rotherhith Stairs

From Billingsgate and St. Olave's to St. Saviour's Mill
All the Stairs between London Bridge and Westminster
From either Side above London Bridge to Lambeth and
Foxhall

From Temple, Dorset, and Black-fryers Stairs or Pauls
Wharf to Lambeth

Over the Water directly between Foxhall and Limehouse

The Rates of OARS down the River.

Kingston

Hampton Court

I

Hampton Town, Sunbury, Walton
Weybridge and Chertsey

Stanes
Windsor

1 'An Useful COMPANION: or a Help at Hand. Being a Convenient POCKET BOOK.' Lond. 1709.

The river, too, was naturally the place for picnics and pleasure parties-although they were by no means so magnificent as the following: 'I took five Barges, and the fairest kept for my Company; the other four I fill'd with Musick of all sorts, and of all sorts the best; in the first were Fiddles, in the next Theorbo, Lutes, and Voices. Flutes and such Pastoral Instruments i' th' third. Loud Musick from the fourth did pierce the Air; Each Consort vy'd by turns, which with most Melody shou'd charm our Ears. The fifth the largest of 'em all was neatly hung, not with dull Tapistry, but with green Boughs, Curiously Interlac'd to let in Air, and every Branch with Jessemins, and Orange Poesies deckt. In this the Feast was kept.'

The last

These pleasure barges were more or less ornate, and varied from the ordinary boat, with a tilt of canvas or green boughs to very elaborately carved and gilded ones. remaining, in our time, were the State barges of Her Majesty, the Trinity Barge, and the Lord Mayor's and City Companies' State barges. The recollection of the water pageant, on a sunshiny Lord Mayor's day, will never be effaced from the memory of those among us who are old enough to have seen it. It was one of the prettiest sights I ever saw; and a few of these barges may still be seen, utilised at Oxford as College Club boats.

Misson says of barges, 'They give this Name in England to a Sort of Pleasure Boat, at one End of which is a little Room handsomely painted and Cover'd, with a Table in the Middle, and Benches round it; and at the other End, Seats for 8, 10, 12, 30 or 40 Rowers. There are very few Persons of Great Quality but what have their Barges, tho' they do not frequently make use of them. Their Watermen wear a Jacket of the same Colour they give for their Livery, with a pretty large Silver Badge upon their Arm, with the Nobleman's Coat of Arms emboss'd in it. These Watermen have some Privileges, as belonging to Peers; but they have no Wages, and are not domestick Servants: They live in their own Houses with their Families, and earn their Livelihood as they can. The Lord Mayor of London, and the The Lying Lover, ed. 1704.