See Phœbus now, as once for Phaeton, And the dull fleads ftalk o'er the melancholy round Of Prince Arthur's foldiers drinking. While rich Burgundian wine, and bright Champaign, (whence we also learn, that Burgundy and Champaign make a man on shore despise a ftorm at fea.) Of the Almighty encamping his regiments. He funk a vaft capacious deep, Where he his liquid regiments does keep. Where they encamp, and in their station stand, Of two armies on the point of engaging. Yon' armies are the cards which both must play; Thefe on your fide will all their fortunes bet . All perfectly agreeable to the prefent cuftoms and best fafhions of our metropolis. BUT the principal branch of the alamode is the PRURI ENT, a ftyle greatly advanced and honoured of late by the practice of perfons of the firft quality; and, by the encouragement of the ladies, not unfuccefsfully introduced even into the drawing-room. Indeed its incredible progrefs and conquefts may be compared to thofe of the great Sefoftris, and are every where known by the same marks, the images of the genital parts of men or women. Amb. Philips. § Prince Arthur p.. 16. It It confifts wholly of metaphors drawn from two moft fruitful fources or fprings, the very bathos of the human body, that is to fay *** and * ***** hiatus magnus la chrymabilis ****. And felling of bargains, and double entendre, and Képioμos and 'Opinios, all derived from the faid fources.. which confifts of the moft curious, affected, mincing metaphors, and partakers of the alamode: as the following: 1 Of a brook dried by the fun. Won by the fummer's importuning ray Th' eloping ftream did from her channel ftray, When watchful death fhall on his harvest look, Of trees in a ftorm. Oaks whofe extended arms the winds defy, Of water fimmering over the fire. The sparkling flames raise water to a smile, Yet the pleas'd liquor pines, and leffens all the while ". 5. LASTLY, I fhall place the CUMBROUS, which moves heavily under a load of metaphors, and draws after it a long train of words: and the BUSKIN, or fately, frequently, and with great felicity, mixed with the former. For as the firft is the proper engine to deprefs what is high, fo is the fecond to raise what is bafe and low Blackm. Job, p. 26. + Idem, p. 23. Anon. Tonf. Mifc. Part 6. p. 224. low to a ridiculous vifibility. When both these can be done at once, then is the bathos in perfection; as when a man is fet with his head downward and his breech upright, his degradation is compleat: one end of him is as high as ever, only that end is the one. wrong every true lover of the profound be delighted to behold the moft vulgar and low actions of life exalted in the following manner? Who knocks at the door? Will not For whom thus rudely pleads my loud tongu'd gate, See who is there. Advance the fringed curtains of thy eyes, Shut the door. The wooden guardian of our privacy Bring my cloaths. Bring me what nature, taylor to the bear, Light the fire. Bring forth fome remnant of Promethean theft Snuff the candle. Yon' luminary amputation needs, Thus shall ye fave its half extinguish'd life. Open the letter. Wax! render up thy truft . • Temp.. Uncork Theob. Double Falfhood. Uncork the bottle, and chip the bread. Apply thine engine to the fpungy door: CHA P. XIII. A project for the advancement of the bathos. THE HUS have I, my dear countrymen, with incredible pains and diligence, difcovered the hidden fources of the bathos, or, as I may say, broke open the abyffes of this great deep. And having now established good and wholfome laws, what remains, but that all true moderns, with their utmoft might, do proceed to put the fame in execution? in order whereto, I think 1 fhall, in the fecond place, highly deferve of my country by propofing fuch a scheme, as may facilitate this great end. As our number is confeffedly far fuperior to that of the enemy, there feems nothing wanting but unanimity among ourselves. It is therefore humbly offered, that all and every individual of the bathos do enter into a firm affociation, and incorporate into one regular body, whereof every member, even the meaneft, will fome way contribute to the fupport of the whole; in like manner, as the weakest reeds, when joined in one bundle, become infrangible. To which end our art ought to be put upon the fame foot with other arts of this age. The vaft improvement of modern manufactures arifeth from their being divided into feveral branches, and parcelled out to feveral trades: for inftance, in clock-making one artift makes the balance, another the fpring, another the crown-wheels, a fourth the cafe, and the principal workman puts all together: to this œconomy we owe the perfection of our modern watches, and doubtless we also might that of our modern poetry and rhetoric, were the feveral parts branched out in the like manner. NOTHING is more evident, than that divers perfons, no other way remarkable, have each a strong difpofition to the formation of fome particular trope or figure. AriVOL. VIII. ftotle ftotle faith, that "the hyperbole is an ornament fit for "young men of quality;" accordingly we find in those gentlemen a wonderful propensity toward it, which is marvellously improved by travelling. Soldiers alfo and feamen are very happy in the fame figure. The periphrafis or circumlocution is the peculiar talent of country farmers; the proverb and apologue of old men at clubs ; the ellipfis, or fpeech by half words, of minifters and politicians; the apofiopefis of courtiers; the litotes, or diminution, of ladies, whifperers, and backbiters; and the anadiplofis of common criers and hawkers, who, by redoubling the fame words, perfuade people to buy their oyfters, green haftings, or new ballads. Epithets may be found in great plenty at Billingfgate, farcafm and irony learned upon the water, and the epiphonema or exclamation frequently from the Bear-garden, and as frequently from the hear him of the houfe of commons. Now, each man applying his whole time and genius upon his particular figure, would doubtless attain to perfection; and when each became incorporated and fworn into the fociety, as hath been propofed, a poet or orator would have no more to do but to fend to the particular traders in each kind, to the metaphorift for his allegories, to the fimile-maker for his comparisons, to the ironift for his farcafms, to the apothegmatift for his fentences, &c. whereby a dedication or fpeech would be composed in a moment, the fuperior artift having nothing to do but to put together all the materials. I therefore propose, that there be contrived, with all convenient dispatch, at the public expence, a rhetorical cheft of drawers, confifting of three ftories, the higheft for the deliberative, the middle for the demonftrative, and the loweft for the judicial. Thefe fhall be divided into loci or places, being repofitories for matter and argument in the feveral kinds of oration or writing; and every drawer shall again be fubdivided into cells, refembling those of cabinets for rarities. The apartment for peace or war, and that of the liberty of the prefs, may, in a very few days, be filled with several arguments perfectly new; and the vituperative partition will as easily be replenished with a moft choice collection, entirely of the growth and manufacture of the prefent age. Every com pofer |