CHAP. XVIII. How Lewis Baboon came to vifit John Bull, and what paffed between them*. I THINK it is but ingenuous to acquaint the reader, that this chapter was not wrote by Sir Humphry himself, but by another very able pen of the univerfity of Grubfreet. J OHN had (by fome good inftructions given him by Sir Roger) got the better of his choleric temper, and wrought himself up to a great fteddiness of mind to purfue his own intereft thro' all impediments that were thrown in the way: he began to leave off fome of his old acquaintance, his roaring and bullying about the streets; he put on a serious air, knit his brows, and, for the time, had made a very confiderable progress in politics, confidering that he had been kept a ftranger to his own affairs. However, he could not help difcovering fome remains of his nature, when he happened to meet with a foot-ball, or a match at cricket; for which Sir Roger was fure to take him to task. John was walking about his room, with folded arms, and a moft thoughtful countenance: his fervant brought him word, that one Lewis Baboon below wanted to fpeak with him. John had got an impreffion, that Lewis was fo deadly cunning a man, that he was afraid to venture himself alone with him at laft he took heart of grace; "Let him come up, quoth he, it is but sticking to my point, and he ❝ can never over-reach me.". Lewis Baboon. Monfieur Bull, I will frankly acknowledge, that my behaviour to my neighbours has been fomewhat uncivil, and I believe you will readily grant me, that I have met with ufage accordingly. I was fond of back-fword and cudgel-play from my youth, and now I bear in my body many a black and blue gash and scar, God knows. I had as good a warehouse, and as fair pofZ 2 feffions, * Private negotiations about Dunkirk, feffions, as any of my neighbours, tho' I fay it; but a contentious temper, flattering fervants, and unfortunate ftars, have brought me into circumstances that are not unknown to you. These my misfortunes are heightened by domestic calamities. That I need not relate. I am a poor battered old fellow, and I would willingly end my days in peace: but alas! I fee but small hopes of that, for every new circumstance affords an argument to my enemies to pursue their revenge; formerly I was to be banged, because I was too ftrong, and now because I am too weak to refift; I am to be brought down when too rich, and oppreffed when too poor. Nic. Frog has ufed me like a Scoundrel; you are a gentleman, and I freely put myself in your hands to difpofe of me as you think fit. ་ J. Bull. Look you, Mr Baboon, as to your ufage of your neighbours, you had beft not dwell too much upon that chapter; let it fuffice at prefent, that you have been met with you have been rolling a great ftone up hill all your life, and at last it has come tumbling down, till it is like to crush you to pieces: plain dealing is beft. If you have any particular mark, Mr Baboon, whereby one may know when you fib, and when you speak truth, you had beft tell it me, that one may proceed accordingly; but fince at prefent I know of none fuch, it is better that you fhould trust me, than that I fhall trust you. L. Baboon. I know of no particular mark of veracity amongst us tradefmen, but intereft; and it is manifeftly mine not to deceive you at this time; you may fafely trust me, I can affure you. J. Bull. The truft I give is in fhort this; I must have fomething in hand, before I make the bargain, and the reft before it is concluded. L. Baboon. To fhew you I deal fairly, name your Something. 7. Bull. I need not tell thee, old boy; thou canst guefs. L. Baboon. Ecclefdown-caftle ||, I'll warrant you, becaufe it has been formerly in your family! Say no more, you fhall have it. 7. Bull. I fhall have it to m'own felf? Dunkirk. L. Baboon. feffions, as any of my neighbours, tho' I fay it; but a contentious temper, flattering fervants, and unfortunate stars, have brought me into circumstances that are not unknown to you. Thefe my misfortunes are heightened by domeftic calamities. That I need not relate. I am a poor battered old fellow, and I would willingly end my days in peace: but alas! I fee but small hopes of that, for every new circumstance affords an argument to my enemies to pursue their revenge; formerly I was to be banged, because I was too ftrong, and now because I am too weak to refift; I am to be brought down when too rich, and oppreffed when too poor. Nic. Frog has ufed me like a scoundrel; you are a gentleman, and I freely put myself in your hands to difpofe of me as you think fit. hill J. Bull. Look you, Mr Baboon, as to your ufage of your neighbours, you had beft not dwell too much upon that chapter; let it fuffice at prefent, that you have been met with : you have been rolling a great stone up all your life, and at laft it has come tumbling down, till it is like to crush you to pieces: plain dealing is beft. If you have any particular mark, Mr Baboon, whereby one may know when you fib, and when you speak truth, you had best tell it me, that one may proceed according ly; but fince at prefent I know of none fuch, it is better fhould trust me, than that I fhall trust you. L. Baboon. I know of no particular mark of veracity amongst us tradefmen, but intereft; and it is manifeftly mine not to deceive you at this time; you may fafely truft me, I can affure you. that you J. Bull. The truft I give is in fhort this; I must have fomething in hand, before I make the bargain, and the reft before it is concluded." L. Baboon. To fhew you I deal fairly, fomething. name your J. Bull. I need not tell thee, old boy; thou canft guefs. L. Baboon. Ecclefdown-castle ||, I'll warrant you, because it has been formerly in your family! Say no more, you fhall have it. 7. Bull. I fhall have it to m'own felf? Dunkirk. L. Baboon. L. Baboon. To thy n'own felf. J. Bull. Every wall, gate, room, and inch of Ecclef down-castle, you fay! L. Baboon. Juft fo. 7. Bull. Every fingle ftone of Ecclefdown-caftle, to m'own felf speedily! L. Baboon. When you please; what needs more words? J. Bull. But tell me, old boy, haft thou laid afide all thy equivocals and mentals in this case? . L. Baboon. There's nothing like matter of fact; feeing is believing. J. Bull. Now thou talkeft to the purpose ; let us shake hands, old boy. Let me afk thee one question more; what haft thou to do to meddle with the affairs of my family; to difpofe of my eftate, old boy? L. Baboon. Just as much as you have to do with the affairs of Lord Strutt 7. Bull. Ay, but my trade, my very being was con cerned.in that. L. Baboon. And my intereft was concerned in the o-ther but let us both drop our pretences; for I believe it is a moot point, whether I am more likely to make a Mafter Bull, or you a Lord Strutt. J. Bull. Agreed, old boy; but then I muft have fecu rity, that I shall carry my broad-cloth to market, old boy, L.. Baboon. That you fhall, Ecclefdown-caftle! Eccleídown! ́remember that: why wouldst thou not take it, when it was offered thee fome years ago? J. Bull. I would not take it, because they told me thou wouldst not give it me. L. Baboon. How could Monfieur Bull be fo grofly a bufed by downright nonfenfe? they that advifed you to refufe, must have believed I intended to give, elfe why would they not make the experiment? but I can tell you more of that matter, than perhaps you know at prefent. 7. Bull. But what fayft thou as to the Efquire, Nic. Frog, and the reft of the tradefmen? I must take care of them. L. Baboon. Thou haft but small obligations to Nic. to my certain knowledge: he has not used me like a t gentleman. Z3 J. Bull. |