66 thought of thefe rogues, with their bloody hands grabbling in my guts, and pulling out my very entrails; "hang it, for once I'll truft my friends." So Jack refolved; but he had done more wifely to have put himself upon the trial of his country, and made his defence in form; many things happen between the cup and the lip; witnesses might have been bribed, juries managed, or profecutions stopped. But fo it was, Jack for this time. had a fufficient stock of implicit faith, which led him to his ruin, as the fequel of the ftory fhews. AND now the fatal day was come, in which he was to try this hanging experiment. His friends did not fail him at the appointed hour, to fee it put in practice. Habbakkuk brought him a fmooth, ftrong, tough rope, made of many a ply of wholesome Scandinavian hemp, compactly twisted together, with a noose that flipt as glib as a bird catcher's gin. Jack fhrunk and grew pale at firft fight of it; he handled it, he measured it, ftretched it, fixed it against the iron bar of the window to try its ftrength; but no familiarity could reconcile him to it. He found fault with the length, the thickness, and the twift; nay, the very colour did not please him. " Will "nothing less than hanging ferve, quoth Jack? Won't I my enemies take bail for my good behaviour? Will they accept of a fine, or be fatisfied with the pillory and imprisonment, a good round whipping, or burning in the cheek ?" 66 Hab. Nothing but your blood will appease their rage; make hafte, elfe we fhall be difcovered. There's nothing like forprifing the rogues: how will they be disappointed, when they hear that thou haft prevented their revenge, and hanged thine own felf? Jack. That's true; but what if I fhould do it in effigies? Is there never an old Pope or Pretender to hang up in my ftead? we are not fo unlike, but it may pass. Hab. That can never be put upon Sir Roger. Jack. Are you fure he is in the next room? Have you provided a very sharp knife, in cafe of the worft ? Hab. Doft take me for a common liar? be fatisfied, no damage can happen to your perfon; your friends will take care of that. Jack. Mayn't I quilt my rope? It galls my neck strangely: : ftrangely befides, I don't like this running knot, it holds too tight; I may be stifled all of a fudden. Hab. Thou haft fo many if's and and's; prithee difpatch; it might have been over before this time Jack. But now I think on't, I would fain fettle fome affairs, for fear of the worst: have a little patience. Hob. There's no having patience, thou art fuch a faintling filly creature. Jack. O thou most deteftable, abominable paffive obedience! did I ever imagine, I fhould become thy votary in fo pregnant an inftance! How will my brother Mar. tin laugh at this ftory, to fee himself out-done in his own calling? He has taken the doctrine, and left me the practice. No fooner had he uttered thofe words, but like a man of true courage, he tied the fatal cord to the beam, fitted the noofe, and mounted upon the bottom of a tub, the infide of which he had often graced in his profperous days. This footstool Habbakkuk kicked away, and left poor Jack fwinging, like the pendulum of Paul's clock. The fatal noofe performed its office, and with the most ftrict ligature fqueezed the blood into his face, till it af fumed a purple dye. While the poor man heaved from the very bottom of his belly for breath, Habbakkuk walked with great deliberation into both the upper and lower room to acquaint his friends, who received the news with great temper, and with jeers and fcoffs inftead of pity. "Jack has hanged himself, quoth they let us go and fee how the poor rogue fwings.' Then they called Sir Roger. "Sir Roger, quoth Habbakkuk, Jack "has hanged himself, make hafte and cut him down." Sir Roger turned first one ear, and then the other, not understanding what he faid. Hab. I tell you, Jack has hanged himself up. Hab. Jack. Sir Roger. I thought this had not been hanging day. Hab. But the poor fellow has hanged himself. Sir Roger. Then let him hang. I don't wonder at it, the fellow has been mad these twenty years. With this he flunk away. THEN Jack's friends begun to hunch and push one anVOL. VIII. Y other, other, "Why don't you go and cut the poor fellow "down? Why don't you? And why don't you? Not "I, quoth one: Not I, quoth another; Not I, quoth a "third: he may hang till doom's day before I relieve "him." Nay, it is credibly reported, that they were fo far from fuccouring their poor friend in this his difmal circumftance, that Ptfchirnfooker and several of his companions went in and pulled him by the legs, and thumped him on the breaft. Then they began to rail at him for the very thing, which they had advifed and juftified before, viz. his getting into the old gentlewoman's family, and putting on her livery. The keeper, who performed the last office, coming up, found Jack fwinging with no life in him; he took down the body gently, and laid it on a bulk, and brought out the rope to the company. "This, gentlemen, is the rope that hanged Jack; what must be done with it?" Upon which they ordered it to be laid among the curiofities of Grefham College and it is called Jack's rope to this very day. However, Jack after all had-some small tokens of life in him, but lies at this time paft hope of a total recovery, with his head hanging on one fhoulder, without fpeech or motion. The coroner's inqueft fuppofing him to be dead, brought him in non compos. CHA P. XIV. The conference between Don Diego and John Bull. D URING the time of the foregoing tranfactions, D. Diego. I hope, Sir, this day's proceeding will convince you of the fincerity of your old friend Diego, and the treachery of Sir Roger. J. Bull. What's the matter now? D. Diego. You have been endeavouring, for several years, to have justice done upon that rogue Jack; but what thro' the remiffness of conftables, juftices, and packed juries, he has always found the means to escape. 7. Bull. Since removed with the royal fociety into Crane-court in Fleetftreet. 7. Bull. What then? D. Diego. Confider then, who is your best friend ; he that would have brought him to condign punishment, or he that has faved him. By my perfuafion Jack had hanged himself, if Sir Roger had not cut him down. J. Bull. Who told you, that Sir Roger has done fo? D. Diego. You feem to receive me coldly; methinks my fervices deferve a better return. 7. Bull. Since you value yourself upon hanging this poor fcoundrel, I tell you, when I have any more hanging work, I'll fend for thee: I have fome better employment for Sir Roger: in the mean time, I defire the poor fellow may be looked after. When he first came out of the north country into my family, under the pretended name of Timothy Trim, the fellow feemed to mind his loom and his fpinning-wheel, 'till fomebody turned his head; then he grew fo pragmatical, that he took upon him the government of my whole family: I could never order any thing within or without doors, but he must be always giving his counfel, forfooth: nevertheless, tell him, I will forgive what is paft; and if he would mind his bufinefs for the future, and not meddle out of his own fphere, he will find, that John Bull is not of a cruel dif pofition. D. Diego. Yet all your skilful phyficians fay, that nothing can recover your mother, but a piece of Jack's liver boiled in her foupe. 7. Bull. Thofe are quacks: my mother abhors fuch cannibals food: fhe is in perfect health at prefent: I would have given many a good pound to have had her fo well fome time ago. There are indeed two or three troublefome old nurfes ", that, becaufe they believe I am tender-hearted, will never let me have a quiet night's reft with knocking me up: "Oh, Sir, your mother is "taken extremely ill! he is fallen into a fainting-fit! fhe has a great emptiness, wants fuftenance!" This is only to recommend themselves for their great care : John Bull, as fimple as he is, understands a little of a pulfe. Y 2 • New clamours about the danger of the church. CHAP The fequel of the meeting at the Salutation *, WHERE I think I left John Bull, fitting between Nic. Frog and Lewis Baboon, with his arms akimbo, in great concern to keep Lewis and Nic. afunder.. As watchful as he was, Nic. found the means now and then to steal a whisper, and by a cleanly conveyance under the table to flip a short note into Lewis's hand; which Lewis as flily put into John's pocket, with a pinch or a jog, to warn him what he was about. John had the curiofity to retire into a corner to perufe thefe billet doux † of Nic.'s; wherein he found, that Nic. had used great freedoms both with his intereft and reputation. One contained these words: "Dear Lewis, thou feeft clearly, that "this blockhead can never bring his matters to bear : let thee and me talk to-night by ourselves at the Rofe, and I'll give thee fatisfaction." Another was thus expreffed; Friend Lewis, has thy fenfe quite forfaken thee, to make Bull fuch offers ? Hold faft, part with nothing, and I will give thee a better bargain, I'l "warrant thee." IN fome of his billets he told Lewis, "That John Bull was under his guardianship; that the best part of his "fervants were at his command; that he could have John "gagged and bound whenever he pleafed by the people "of his own family." In all these epiftles, blockhead, dunce, afs, coxcomb, were the best epithets he gave poor John. In others he threatened, "That hef, Efquire South, and the rest of the tradefmen, would lay Lewis "down upon his back and beat out his teeth, if he did "not retire immediately, and break up the meeting." I fancy I need not tell my reader, that John often changed * At the congress of Utrecht. + Some offers of the Dutch at that time, in order to get the ne gotiation into their hands. Threatening that the allies would carry on the war, without the help of the English. |