thefe trangrams and gimcracks, gentlemen? what in the name of wonder are you going about, jumping "over my master's hedges, and running your lines crofs his grounds? If you are at any field paftime, you "might have asked leave, my mafter is a civil well-bred "perfon as any is."

Mrs Bull. What could you answer to this?

7. Bull. Why truly my neighbour Frog and I were ftill hot-headed; we told him his mafter was an old doating puppy, that minded nothing of his own business; that we were furveying his eftate, and fettling it for him, fince he would not do it himself. Upon this there happened a quarrel, but we being ftronger than they, fent them away with a flea in their ear. They went home and told their master ||, ·66 My Lord, faid they, there are three odd "fort of fellows going about your grounds with the ftrangest machines that ever we beheld in our life: I "fuppofe they are going to rob your orchard, fell your ❝ trees, or drive away your cattle: they told us strange things of fettling your eftate: one is a lufty old fel"low, in a black wig, with a black beard, without "teeth: there's another thick squat fellow, in trunk

hofe: the third is a little, long-nosed thin man." (I was then lean, being just come out of a fit of fickness.) "I fuppofe it is fit to send after them, left they carry fomething away.”.

Mrs Bull. I fancy this put the old fellow in a rare tweague.

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7. Bull. Weak as he was, he called for his long Toledo, fwore and bounced about the room. "'Sdeath! "what am I come to, to be affronted fo by my tradef"" men? I know the rafcals: my barber, clothier, and linen-draper difpofe of my estate! bring hither my "blunderbufs. ll warrant ye, you fhall fee day-light thro' them. Scoundrels! dogs! the fcum of the "earth! Frog, that was my father's kitchen-boy, he pretend to meddle with my eftate! with my will! "Ah poor Strutt, what art thou come to at laft? Thou "haft lived too long in the world, to fee thy age and "infirmity

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This partition of the King of Spain's dominions was made without his confent or even his knowledge.

"infirmity so despised: how will the ghosts of my noble "ancestors receive thefe tidings? They cannot, they "must not fleep quietly in their graves.' In short, the old gentleman was carried off in a fainting fit, and after bleeding in both arms hardly recovered.

Mrs Bull. Really this was a very extraordinary way of proceeding: I long to hear the rest of it.

J. Bull. After we had come back to the tavern, and taken the other bottle of Champagne, we quarrelled a lit tle about the divifion of the eftate. Lewis halled and pulled the map on one fide, and Frog and I on the other, till we had like to have torn the parchment in pieces. At laft Lewis pulled out a pair of great tailor's fheers, and clipt a corner for himself, which he said was a manor that lay convenient for him, and left Frog and me the reft to difpofe of as we pleased. We were overjoyed to think Lewis was contented with fo little, not smelling what was at the bottom of the plot. There happened indeed an incident that gave us fome disturbance: a cunning fellow, one of my fervants, two days after peeping thro' the key-hole obferved, that old Lewis had ftole away our part of the map, and faw him fidling and turning the map from one corner to the other, trying to join the two pieces together again he was muttering fomething to himself, which we did not well hear, only these words, It is great pity, it is great pity! My fervant added, that he believed this had fome ill meaning. I told him he was a coxcomb, always pretending to be wifer than his companions: Lewis and I are good friends, he is an honeft fellow, and I dare fay will stand to his bargain. The fequel of the ftory proved this fellow's fufpicion to be too well grounded; for Lewis ‡ revealed the whole fecret to the deceased Lord Strutt, who, in reward of his treachery and revenge to Frog and me, fettled with his whole eftate upon the prefent Philip Baboon. Then we understood what he meant by pieceing the map.

Mrs Bull. And was you furprized at this? Had not

Lord

It is fufpected, that the French King intended to take the whole, and that he revealed the fecret to the court of Spain, upon which the will was made in favour of his grandfon.

Lord Strutt reafon to be angry? Would you have been contented to have been fo ufed yourself?

7. Bull. Why truly, wife, it was not eafily reconciled to the common methods; but then it was the fashion to do fuch things. I have read of your golden age, your filver age, &c. one might juftly call this the age of lawyers. There was hardly a man of fubftance in all the country, but had a counterfeit *, that pretended to his eftate. As the philofophers fay, that there is a duplicate of every terreftrial animal at fea, fo it was in this age of the lawyers, there was at least two of every thing; nay, on my conscience, I think there were three Efquire Hackums at one time. In thort, it was ufual for a parcel of fellows to meet, and difpofe of the whole estate in the country: "This lies convenient for me, Tom: thou "wouldst do more good with that, Dick, than the old "fellow that has it." So to law they went with the true owners; the lawyers got well by it; every body else was undone, It was a common thing for an honest man, when he came home at night, to find another fellow domineering in his family, hectoring his fervants, calling for fupper, and pretending to go to bed to his wife. In every house you might obferve two Sofia's quarrelling who was master. For my own part, I am ftill afraid of the fame treatment, and that I should find somebody behind my counter felling my broad cloth.

Mrs Bull. There are a fort of fellows, they call banterers and bamboozlers, that play fuch tricks; but, it feems, these fellows were in earnest.

J. Bull. I begin to think, that juflice is a better rule. than conveniency, for all fome people make fo flight on it.

U

СНАР.

VOL. VIII.

Several pretenders at that time.

t Kings of Poland.

CHAP.
P. VII.

Of the hard shifts Mrs Bull was put to, to preferve the manor of Bullock's-Hatch; with Sir Roger's method to keep off importunate duns *.

S John Bull and his wife were talking together,

A were

they were furprized with a fudden knocking at the door; "Those wicked fcriveners and lawyers, no doubt," quoth John; and fo it was: fome afking for the money he owed, and others warning to prepare for the approaching term. What a curfed life do I lead ? quoth John. "Debt is like deadly fin: for God's fake, Sir Roger, get

Some

me rid of the fellows." "I'll warrant you, quoth "Sir Roger; leave them to me." And indeed it was pleasant enough to obferve Sir Roger's method with thefe importunate duns; his fincere friendship for John Bull made him fubmit to many things for his fervice, which he would have fcorned to have done for himself. times het would ftand at the door with his long staff to keep off the duns, 'till John got out at the back door. When the lawyers and tradefien brought extravagant bills, Sir Roger used to bargain before-hand for leave to cut off the quarter of a yard in any part of the bill he pleased; he wore a pair of fciffars in his pocket for this purpose, and would fnip it off fo nicely as you cannot imagine. Like a true goldsmith, he kept all your holi, days there was not one wanting in his calendar: when ready money was fcarce, he would fet them a telling a thoufand

:

After the diffolution of the parliament, the finking ministry endeavoured to fupport themfelves by propagating a notion, that the public credit would fuffer if the Lord Treasurer Godolphin was removed; the dread of this event produced it: the monied men began to fell their shares in the bank; the governor, deputy-governor, and two directors applied to the Queen to prevent the change; the alarm became general, and all the public funds gradually funk. Perhaps by Bullock's-Hatch the author meant the crown lands. See p. 241.

Manners of the Earl of Oxford.

thousand pounds in fix-pences, groats, and three-penny pieces. It would have done your heart good to have feen him charge thro' an army of lawyers, attorneys, clerks, and tradefmen; fometimes with fword in hand, at other times nuzzling like an eel in the mud. When a fellow stuck like a bur, that there was no fhaking him off, he ufed to be mightily inquifitive about the health of his uncles and aunts in the country; he could call them all by their names, for he knew every body, and could talk to them in their own way. The extremely impertinent he would fend away to see some strange fight, as the dragon of Hockley in the hole; or bid them call the 30th of next February. Now and then you would fee him in the kitchen, weighing the beef and butter; paying ready money, that the maids might not run tick at the market, and the butchers, by bribing of them, fell damaged and light meat. Another time he would flip into the cellar, and gauge the casks, in his leifure minutes he was posting his books, and gathering in his debts. Such frugal methods were neceffary, where money was fo fcarce, and duns fo numerous. All this while John kept his credit, could fhew his head both at Change and Weftminfterhall; no man protefted his bill, nor refufed his bond; only the sharpers and the fcriveners, the lawyers and other clerks pelted Sir Roger as he went along. The fquirters were at it with their kennel water, for they were mad for the lofs of their bubble, and that they could not get him to mortgage the manor of Bullock's-Hatch. Sir Ro

ger

fhook his ears, and nuzzled along, well fatisfied within himself, that he was doing a charitable work in refcuing an honest man from the claws of harpies and bloodfuckers. Mrs Bull did all that an affectionate wife, and a good housewife could do; yet the boundaries of virtues are indivisible lines; it is impoffible to march up close to the frontiers of frugality, without entering the territories of parfimony. Your good housewives are apt to look into the minuteft things; therefore fome blamed Mrs Bull for new heel-piecing of her fhoes t, grudging

U 2

* Some regulations as to the purveyance in the Queen's fa mily.

Too great favings in the house of commons.

a