In fhort, thefe quarrels grew up to rooted averfions; they gave one another nick-names: the called him undy-guts, and he called her louly Peg; tho' the girl was a tight clever wench as any was, and thro' her pale looks you might difcern fpirit and vivacity, which made her not, indeed, a perfect beauty, but fomething that was agree. able It was barbarous in parents not to take notice of thefe early quarrels, and make them live better together, fuch domeftic feuds proving afterwards the occafion of misfortunes to them both Peg had, indeed, some odd humours, and comical antipathy, for which John would jeer her. What think you of my fifter Peg, fays he, "that faints at the found of an organ, and yet will dance "and frisk at the noise of a bag-pipe?" "What's that "to you, gundy-guts, quoth Peg, every body's to chufe "their own mufic." Then Peg had taken a fancy not to fay her Pater nofter, which made people imagine ftrange things of her. Of the three brothers, that have made fuch a clutter in the world, Lord Peter, Martin, and Jack, Jack had of late been her inclinations *: Lord Peter fhe detefted: nor did Martin ftand much better in her good graces, but Jack had found the way to her heart. I have often admired, what charms fhe difcovered in that aukward booby, till I talked with a perfon that was acquainted with the intrigue, who gave me the following account of it. CHA P. III. Jack's charmst, or the method by which he gained Peg's heart. IN 'N the first place, Jack was a very young fellow, by much the youngest of the three brothers, and people, VOL. VIII. T indeed, reign, offered his daughter Mary to James V. of Scotland; this offer was rejected, and followed by a war: to this event probably the author alludes. Love of prefbytery. Character of the prefbyterians. indeed, wondered how fuch a young upstart jacknapes fhould grow fo pert and faucy, and take fo much upon him. JACK bragged of greater abilities than other men; he was well-gifted, as he pretended; I need not tell you what fecret influence that has upon the ladies. JACK had a moft fcandalous tongue, and perfuaded Peg that all mankind, befides himself, were poxed by that fcarlet-faced whore Signiora Bubonia*. "As for "his brother, Lord Peter, the tokens were evident on him, blotches, fcabs, and the corona: his brother "Martin, tho' he was not quite fo bad, had fome "nocturnal pains, which his friends pretended were on"ly fcorbutical ; but he was fure it proceeded from a "worfe caufe." By fuch malicious infinuations, he had poffeffed the lady, that he was the only man in the world of a found, pure, and untainted conftitution: tho' there were fome that fluck not to say, that Signiora Bubonia and Jack railed at one another, only the better to hide an intrigue; and that Jack had been found with Signiora under his cloak, carrying her home in a dark ftormy night. JACK was a prodigious ogler; he would ogle you the outside of his eye inward, and the white upward. JACK gave himself out for a man of a great estate in the fortunate iflands; of which the fole property was vefted in his perfon by this trick he cheated abundance of poor people of fmall fums, pretending to make over plantations in the faid iflands; but when the poor wretches came there with Jack s grant, they were beat, mocked, and turned out of doors. I'told you that Peg was whimfical, and loved any thing that was particular. in that way, Jack was her man, for he neither thought, spoke, dreffed, nor acted like other mortals: he was for your bold ftrokes, he railed at fops, tho' he was himself the most affected in the world; inftead of the common fashion, he would vifit his mistress in a mourning cloak, band, fhort cuffs, and a peaked beard. He invented a way of coming into a room backwards, which, he faid, fhewed more humility, and less affectation: * The whore of Babylon, or the Pope. 4 affectation: where other people ftood, he fat; where they fat, he ftood; when he went to court, he used to kick away the state, and fit down by his prince cheek by jole: Confound thefe ftates, fays he, they are a modern invention: when he spoke to his prince, he always turned his br-ch upon him: if he was advised to fast for his health, he would eat roast beef; if he was allowed a more plentiful diet, then he would be fure that day tó live upon water-gruel; he would cry at a wedding, laugh and make jefts at a funeral. He was no less fingular in his opinions; you would have burft your fides to hear him talk of politics*: “ All government, fays he, is founded upon the right diftribution of punishments; decent executions keep the ❝ world in awe ; for that reason the majority of mankind "ought to be hanged every year. For example, I fup"pose, the magiftrate ought to pafs an irreverfible fen"tence upon all blue eyed children from the cradle +; but "that there may be fome fhew of juftice in this proceed"ing, thefe children ought to be trained up by masters, "appointed for that purpose, to all forts of villainy} "that they may deserve their fate, and the execution of "them may serve as an object of terror to the rest of "mankind." As to the giving of pardons, he had this fingular method t, that when thefe wretches had the rope about their necks, it should be inquired, who believed they should be hanged, and who not? The first were to be pardoned, the last hanged outright. Such as were once pardoned, were never to be hanged afterwards for any crime whatfoever ||. He had fuch skill in phyfiognomy, that he would pronounce peremptorily upon a man's face," That fellow (fays he) do what he " will, cannot avoid hanging; he has a hanging look." By the fame art he would prognofticate a principality to a fcoundrel. He was no lefs particular in the choice of his ftudies; they were generally bent towards exploded chimeras, the perpetuum mobile |||, the circular shot, philofopher's T2 * Abfolute predeftination. ftone, + Reprobation. Saving faith; a belief that one fhall certainly be faved. || Election. ftone, filent gun-powder, making chains for fleas, nets for flies, and inftruments to unravel cob-webs and split hairs. 46 THUS, I think, I have given a distinct account of the methods he practifed upon Peg. Her brother would now and then ask her, "What a devil doft thou fee in that pragmatical coxcomb to make thee fo in love with "him? he is a fit match for a tailor or a fhoemaker's daughter, but not for you that are a gentlewoman." Fancy is free, quoth Peg: I will take my own way, "do you take yours. I do not care for your flaunting beaus, that gang with their breasts open, and their "farks over their waistcoats; that accoft me with fet "fpeeches out of Sidney's Arcadia, or the Academy of "Compliments Jack is a fober, grave, young man'; "tho' he has none of your ftudied harangues, his mean ing is fincere he has a great regard to his father's "will; and he that fhews himself a good fon, will make "a good hufband; befides. I know he has the original "deed of conveyance to the fortunate islands; the o thers are counterfeits." There is nothing so obftinate as a young lady in her amours; the more you croís her, the worfe fhe is. How the relations reconciled John and his fifter Peg, and what return Peg made to John's message *. JOH OHN BULL, otherwife a good-natured man, was very hard-hearted to his fifter Peg, chiefly from an averfion he had conceived in his infancy. While he flourished, kept a warm houfe, and drove a plentiful trade, poor Peg was forced to go hawking and peddling about the ftreets, felling knives, fciffars, and fhoe-buckles ; now and then carried a basket of fish to the market; fewed, fpun, and knit for a livelihood, till her fingersends were fore, and when she could not get bread for her family, fhe was forced to hire them out at journey-work The treaty of Union between England and Scotland. to 66 to her neighbours. Yet in thefe her poor circumftances fhe ftill preferved the air and mein of a gentlewoman, a certain decent pride, that extorted refpect from the haugh tieft of her neighbours; when she came into any full affembly, fhe would not yield the pas to the best of them. If one asked her, are not you related to John Bull ? "Yes, fays fhe; he has the honour to be my brother." So Peg's affairs went, till all the relations cried out shame upon John for his barbarous ufage of his own flesh and blood; that it was an easy matter for him to put her in a creditable way of living, not only without hurt, but with advantage to himself, being fhe was an industrious perfon, and might be ferviceable to him in his way of bufinefs. "Hang her, jade, quoth John; I cannot endure her, as long as fhe keeps that rafcal Jack's company." They told him, the way to reclaim her was to take her into his houfe; that by converfation the childish humours of their younger days might be worn out. These argu ments were enforced by a certain incident. It happened that John was at that time about making his will*, and entailing his eftate, the very fame in which Nic. Frog is named executor. Now, his fifter Peg's name being in the entail, he could not make a thorough fettlement without her confent. There was, indeed, a malicious story went about, as if John's last wife had fallen in love with Jack as he was eating custard on horseback +; that the perfuaded John to take his fifter into the house, the better to drive on the intrigue with Jack, concluding he would follow his mistress Peg. All I can infer from this ftory, is, that when one has got a bad character in the world, people will report and believe any thing of one, true or falfe. But to return to my ftory; when Peg received John's meffage, the huffed and ftormed like the T 3 devil: The fucceffion to the crown having been fettled by act of parliament in England, upon the houfe of Hanover, and no fuch act having paffed in Scotland, then a feparate kingdom, it was thought a proper time to complete the union which had been of ten attempted, and which was recommended to the Scots by K. William III. A prefbyterian Lord Mayor of London. |