pofer will foon be taught the use of this cabinet, and how to manage all the registers of it, which will be drawn out much in the manner of thofe in an organ.

THE keys of it must be kept in honeft hands, by fome reverend prelate, or valiant officer, of unqueftioned loyalty and affection to every prefent establishment in church and ftate; which will fufficiently guard against any mifchief, that might otherwife be apprehended from it.

AND being lodged in fuch hands, it may be at difcretion let out, by the day, to feveral great orators in both houfes; from whence it is to be hoped much profit and gain will also accrue to our fociety.

CHA P. XIV.

How to make dedications, panegyrics, or fatires; and of the colours of honourable and difhonourable.

NOW

TOW, of what neceffity the foregoing project may prove, will appear from this fingle confideration, that nothing is of equal confequence to the fuccefs of our work, as fpeed and difpatch. Great pity it is, that folid brains are not like other folid bodies, conftantly endowed with a velocity in finking proportioned to their heavinefs: for it is with the flowers of the bathos as with thofe of nature, which if the careful gardener brings not haftily to market in the morning, muft unprofitably perif and wither before night. And of all our productions none is fo fhort lived as the dedication and panegyric, which are often but the praise of a day, and become by the next utterly ufelefs, improper, indecent, and falfe. This is the more to be lamented, inasmuch as these two are the forts, whereon in a manner depends that profit, which muft ftill be remembered to be the main end of our writers and speakers.

WE fhall therefore employ this chapter in fhewing the quickest method of compofing them; after which we will teach a short way to epic poetry. And these being confeffedly the works of most importance and difficulty, it is prefumed we may leave the reft to each author's own learning or practice,

FIRST

FIRST of panegyric. Every man is honourable, who is fo by law, custom, or title. The public are better judges of what is honourable than private men. The virtues

of great men, like those of plants, are inherent in them whether they are exerted or not; and the more ftrongly. inherent, the lefs they are exerted; as a man is the more rich, the lefs he fpends. All great minifters, without either private or œconomical virtue, are virtuous by their pofts; liberal and generous upon the public money, provident upon public fupplies, juft by paying public intereft, couragious and magnanimous by the fleets and armies, magnificent upon the public expences, and prudent by public fuccefs. They have, by their office, a right to a hare of the public stock of virtues; befides they are, by prefcription immemorial, invefted in all the celebrated virtues of their predeceffors in the same stations, efpecially thofe of their own ancestors.

As to what are commonly called the colours of honourable and dishonourable, they are various in different countries in this they are blue, green and red.

BUT forafmuch as the duty we owe to the public doth often require, that we should put fome things in a strong light, and throw a fhade over others, I fhall explain the method of turning a vicious man into a hero.

THE firft and chief rule is the golden rule of transfor mation, which confifts in converting vices into their bor dering virtues. A man who is a spend-thrift, and will not pay a juft debt, may have his injustice transformed into liberality; cowardice may be metamorphofed into prudence; intemperance into good nature and good fellowship; corruption into patriotism; and lewdness into tenderness and facility.

THE fecond is the rule of contraries: it is certain, the lefs a man is endued with any virtue, the more need he has to have it plentifully beftowed, especially those good qualities, of which the world generally believes he hath none at all: for who will thank a man for giving him that which he has ?

THE reverse of these precepts will ferve for fatire, wherein we are ever to remark, that whofo lofeth his place, or becomes out of favour with the government, hath forfeited his share in public praise and honour.

Therefore

Therefore the truly public-fpirited writer ought in duty to ftrip him, whom the government hath ftripped; which is the real poetical juftice of this age. For a full collection of topics and epithets to be used in the praise and difpraife of ministerial and unminifterial perfons, I refer to our rhetorical cabinet: concluding with an earneft exhortation to all my brethren to obferve the precepts here laid down, the neglect of which hath coft fome of them their ears in a pillory.

A

CHA P. XV.

A receipt to make an epic poem.

N epic poem, the critics agree, is the greatest work human nature is capable of. They have already laid down many mechanical rules for compofitions of this fort, but at the fame time they cut off almost all undertakers from the poffibility of ever performing them; for the first qualification they unanimously require in a poet, is a genius. I fhall here endeavour, for the benefit of my countrymen, to make it manifeft, that epic poems may be made without a genius, nay, without learning or much reading. This muft neceffarily be of great ufe to all thofe, who confefs they never read, and of whom the world is convinced they never learn. Moliere observes of making a dinner, that any man can do it with money, and if a profeffed cook cannot do it without, he has his art for nothing: the fame may be faid of making a poem, it is eafily brought about by him that has a genius, but the skill lies in doing it without one. In pursuance of this end, I shall present the reader with a plain and certain recipe, by which any author in the bathos may be qualified for this grand performance.

For the FABLE.

TAKE out of any old poem, hiftory-book, romance, or legend (for inftance, Geoffry of Monmouth, or Don Belianis of Greece) thofe parts of the story which afford moft fcope for long defcriptions: put thefe pieces together, and throw all the adventures you fancy into one tale. Then take a hero, whom you may chuse for the found

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found of his name, and put him into the midst of these adventures: there let him work for twelve books; at the end of which you may take him out, ready prepared to conquer or to marry: it being neceffary that the conclufion of an epic poem be fortunate.

To make an EPISODE.

TAKE any remaining adventure of your former collection, in which you could no way involve your hero: or any unfortunate accident, that was too good to be thrown away; and it will be of ufe, applied to any other perfon, who may be loft and evaporate in the course of the work, without the leaft damage to the compofition.

For the MORAL and ALLEGORY.

THESE You may extract out of the fable afterwards, at your leifure: be fure you ftrain them fufficiently.

For the MANNERS.

For thofe of the hero, take all the best qualities you can find in the most celebrated heroes of antiquity; if they will not be reduced to a confiftency, lay them all on a heap upon him. But be fure they are qualities, which your patron would be thought to have, and to prevent any mistake, which the world may be fubject to, fele& from the alphabet thofe capital letters that compofe his name, and fet them at the head of a dedication before your poem However, do not abfolutely obferve the exact quantity of thefe virtues, it not being determined whether or no it be necessary for the hero of a poem to be an honest man. For the under characters, gather them from Homer and Virgil, and change the names as occafion ferves.

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For the MACHINES.

TAKE of Deities, male and female, as many as you can use separate them into two equal parts and keep Jupiter in the middle; let Juno put him in a ferment, and Venus mollify him, Remember, on all occafions, to make ufe of volatile Mercury. If you have need of de

vils, draw them out of Milton's' Paradife, and extract your fpirits from Taffo. The ufe of thefe machines is evident; fince no epic poem can poffibly fubfift without them, the wifest way is to referve them for yo your greatest neceffities: when you cannot extricate your hero by any human means, or yourself by your own wit, feek relief from heaven, and the gods will do your bufinefs very readily. This is according to the direct prescription of Horace in his art of poetry.

Nec deus interfit, nifi dignus vindice nodus
Inciderit.

That is to fay, a poet should never call upon the gods for their affiftance, but when he is in great perplexity.

For the DESCRIPTIONS.

FOR a tempeft. Take eurus, zephyr, aufter, and boreas, and caft them together in one verfe: add to these of rain, lightning and thunder (the loudeft you can) quantum fufficit. Mix your clouds and billows well together till they foam, and thicken your description here, and there with a quick-fand. Brew your tempest well in your head, before you fet it a blowing.

FOR a battle. Pick a large quantity of images and defcriptions from Homer's Iliads, with a fpice or two of Virgil, and if there remain any overplus, you may lay them by for a fkirmish. Season it well with fimiles, and it will make an excellent battle.

FOR a burning town. If fuch a defcription be neceffary (because it is certain there is one in Virgil) old Troy is ready burnt to your hands. But if you fear that would be thought borrowed, a chapter or two of Burnet's Theory of the Conflagration, well circumstanced and done into verfe, will be a good fuccedaneum.

As for fimiles and metaphors, they may be found all over the creation; the moft ignorant may gather them, but the difficulty is in applying them. For this advise with your bookjeller.

CHAP.