For be that runs may fight again, Which he can never do that's flain. "That's true" (quoth Albertus)" but pray confider on "the other fide, that animals * fpleened grow extreme"ly falacious, an experiment well known in dogs." Cornelius was ftruck with this, and replied gravely; " If it "be fo, I will defer the operation, for I will not increase "the powers of my fon's body at the expence of those ❝ of his mind. I am indeed disappointed in most of my projects, and fear I muft fit down at laft contented "with fuch methods of education as modern barbarity "affords. Happy had it been for us all, had we lived "in the age of Auguftus. Then my fon might have heard "the philofophers difpute in the Porticoes of the Palæstra, "and at the fame time formed his body and his under"standing.""It is true" (replied Albertus) "we have "no exedra for the philofophers, adjoining to our tennis"courts; but there are ale-houfes where he will hear very notable argumentations. Though we come not up "to the antients in the tragic-dance, we excel them in "the us, or the art of tumbling. The antients would "have beat us at quoits, but not fo much at the jaculum "or pitching the bar. The pugilatus + is in as great per"fection in England as in old Rome, and the cornifb-bug "in the luctus is equal to the volutatoria of the an"tients." "You could not" (answered Cornelius)" have produced a more unlucky inftance of modern folly and 66 barbarity, than what you fay of the jaculum. The Cre"tans wifely forbid their fervants gymnaftics, as well as "arms, and yet your modern footmen exercise them"felves daily in the jaculum at the corner of Hyde-Park, "whilft their enervated lords are lolling in their chariots, "(a fpecies of vectitation feldom ufed amongst the anti ents except by old men)." "You fay well" (quoth Albertus), "and we have feveral other kinds of vectita❝tion unknown to the antients; particularly flying chaVOL. VIII. riots, C "riots, where the people may have the benefit of this "exercise at the fmall expence of a farthing. But fup"pose (which I readily grant) that the antients excelled us almoft in every thing, yet why this fingularity? 66 your fon must take up with fuch mafters as the present age affords; we have dancing-mafters, writing-mafters, and mufic-masters." THE bare mention of mufic threw Cornelius into a pasfion. "How can you dignify" (quoth he) "this mo❝dern fiddling with the name of mufic? Will any of your best hautboys encounter a wolf now-a-days with "no other arms but their inftruments, as did that anti"ent piper Pythocaris? Have ever wild boars, ele phants, deer, dolphins, whales, or turbots, fhewed "the leaft emotion at the most elaborate strains of your "modern fcrapers, all which have been, as it were, "tamed and humanized by antient muficians? Does not "Ælian * tell us how the Lybian mares were excited "to horfing by mufic? (which ought in truth to be a "caution to modeft women against frequenting operas ; "and confider, brother, you are brought to this dilemma, "either to give up the virtue of the ladies, or the pow"er of your mufic). Whence proceeds the degeneracy "of our morals? Is it not from the lofs of antient mu"fic, by which (fays Ariftotle) they taught all the vir tues? Elfe might we turn Newgate into a college of "Dorian muficians, who fhould teach moral virtues to "those people. Whence comes it that our prefent dif"eafes are fo ftubborn? whence is it that I daily deplore my fciatical pains? Alas! because we have loft their "true cure, by the melody of the pipe. All this was "well known to the antients, as Theophraftus + affures us, (whence Cælius calls it loca dolentia decantare); "only indeed fome small remains of this skill are preserv"ed in the cure of the tarantula. Did not Pythagoras || "ftop a company of drunken bullies from storming a ci "vil * Ælian. Hift. Animal. lib. xi. cap. 18. and lib. xii. cap. 44. Pope. + Athenæus, lib. xiv. Pope. Pope. Lib. de Sanitate tuenda, cap. 2. * "vil houfe, by changing the ftrain of the pipe to the fo"ber fpondæus ? and yet your modern musicians want "art to defend their windows from common nickers. It " is well known, that when the Lacedæmonian mob were up, they commonly fent for a Lefbian musician "to appease them, and they immediately grew calm as "foon as they heard Terpander fing : yet I do not be"lieve, that the Pope's whole band of mufic, though "the best of this age, could keep his Holinefs's image "from being burnt on a fifth of November." "Nor would Terpander himself," (replied Albertus)" at Billingfgate, nor Timotheus at Hockley in the Hole, have any manner of effect, nor both of them together bring "Horneck + to common civility." "That's a grofs mi"ftake," (faid Cornelius, very warmly); " and to prove "it fo, I have here a fmall lyra of my own, framed, ftrung, and tuned after the antient manner. I can play "fome fragments of Lesbian tunes, and I wish I were " to try them upon the moft paffionate creatures alive." "You never had a better opportunity," (fays Albertus), "for yonder are two apple-women fcolding, and just ready to uncoif one another." With that Cornelius, undrefied as he was, jumps out into his balcony, his lyra in hand, in his flippers, with his breeches hanging down to his ancles, a ftocking upon his head, and waistcoat of murrey-coloured fattin upon his body: he touched his lyra with a very unusual fort of an harpegiatura, nor were his hopes fruftrated. The odd equipage, the uncouth inftrument, the ftrangeness of the man and of the mufic, drew the ears and eyes of the whole mob that were got about the two female champions, and at last of the combatants themselves. They all approached the balcony, in as close attention as Orpheus's firft audience of cattle, or that of an Italian opera, when fome favourite air is juft awakened. This fudden effect of his music encouraged him mightily, and it was observed he never touched his lyre in fuch a truly chromatic and enharmonic manner, as upon that occafion. The mob laughed, C 2 fung, Suidas in Timotheo. Pope. + Horneck, a fcurrilous fcribler, who wrote a weekly paper, called, The High German Doctor. Pope. fung, jumped, danced, and ufed many odd geftures, all which he judged to be caufed by the various ftrains and modulations." Mark" (quoth he)" in this, the power "of the Ionian; in that, you fee the effect of the Eolian." But in a little time they began to grow riotous, and threw ftones. Cornelius then withdrew, but with the greatest air of triumph in the world. "Brother," faid he, "do you obferve I have mixed unawares too much of the Phrygian; I might change it to the Lydian, and foften "their riotous tempers. But it is enough. Learn from "this fample to speak with veneration of antient mu.fic. If this lyre, in my unfkilful hands, can perform "fuch wonders, what must it not have done in those of a Timotheus or a Terpander?" Having faid this, he retired with the utmoft exultation in himfelf, and contempt of his brother; and, it is faid, behaved that night with fuch unufual haughtiness to his family, that they all had reason to wifh for fome antient tibicen to calm his, temper. C CHAP. VII. Rhetoric, logic, andTM metaphyfics. ORNELIUS having, as hath been faid, many ways been disappointed in his attempts of improving the bodily forces of his fon, thought it now high time to apply to the culture of his internal faculties. He judged it proper, in the firft place, to înftru&t him in rhetoric. But herein we fhall not need to give the reader any account of his wonderful progress, fince it is already known to the learned world by his treatise on this fubject: I mean the admirable difcourfe Пp Bdous, which he wrote at this time, but concealed from his father, knowing his extreme partiality for the antients. It lay by him concealed, and perhaps forgot among the great multiplicity of other writings, till, about the year 1727, he fent it us to be printed, with many additional examples drawn from the excellent live poets of this prefent age. We proceed, therefore, to logic and metaphyfics. THE wife Cornelius was convinced, that thefe being Pole Polemical arts, could no more be learned alone, than fencing or cudgel-playing. He thought it therefore neceffary to look out for fome youth of pregnant parts, to be a fort of humble companion to his fon in those studies.. His good fortune directed him to one of the most fingular endowments, whofe name was Conrandus Crambe, who, by the father's fide, was related to the Grouches of Cambridge, and his mother was coufin to Mr. Swan, gamefter and punster of the city of London. So that from both parents he drew a natural difpofition to fport himfelf with words, which, as they are faid to be the counters of wife men, and ready money of fools, Crambe had great ftore of cash of the latter fort. Happy Martin in fuch a parent, and fuch a companion! What might not he atchieve in arts and fciences! HERE I muft premife a general obfervation of great benefit to mankind, That there are many people who have the ufe only of one operation of the intellect, though, like fhort-fighted men, they can hardly discover it themfelves they can form fingle apprehenfions *, but have neither of the other two faculties, the judicium or dif curfus. Now, as it is wifely ordered, that people deprived of one fenfe have the others in more perfection, fuch people will form fingle ideas with a great deal of vivacity; and happy were it indeed if they would confine themselves to fuch, without forming judicia, much less argumentations. CORNELIUS quickly discovered, that these two laft operations of the intellect were very weak in Martin, and almoft totally extinguished in Crambe; however, he used to fay that rules of logic are fpectacles to a purblind underftanding, and therefore he refolved to proceed with his two pupils. MARTIN'S understanding was fo totally immerfed in fenfible objects, that he demanded examples from material things of the abstracted ideas of logic. As for Crambe, C3 he When a learned friend once urged to our author the authority of a famous dictionary-maker against the Latinity of the expreffion, amor publicus, which he had used in an infcription, he replied, that he would allow a dictionary-maker to understand a fingle word, but not two words put together. Warburton. |