I wish you health and happiness, being with due refpect, MADAM, Your affured friend, SOUTH. WHAT anfwer Mrs Bull returned to this letter, you fhall know in my fecond part, only they were at a pretty good distance in their propofals; for as Efquire South only offered to be at the charges of pen, ink, and paper, Mrs Bull refufed any more than to lend her barge to carry his council to Westminster-hall. Law This proportion was however thought to be fo inconfiderable, that the letter produced no other effect, than the convoy of the forces by the English fleet to Barcelona. HE world is much indebted to the famous Sir Hum TH phry Polefworth for his ingenious and impartial at once. account of John Bull's law-fuit; yet there is juft caufe of complaint against him, in that he relates it only by parcels, and will not give us the whole work: this forces me, who am only the publisher, to befpeak the affiftance of his friends and acquaintance to engage him to lay afide that ftingy humour, and gratify the curiofity of the public, He pleads in excufe, that they are only private memoirs, wrote for his own ufe, in a locfe ftile, to ferve as a help to his ordinary converfation . I reprefented to him the good reception the first part had met with; that tho' calculated only for the meridian of Grub-ftreet, it was yet taken notice of by the better fort; that the world was now fufficiently acquainted with John Bull, and interested itself in his concerns. He answered, with a smile, that he had indeed fome trifling things to impart, that concerned John Bull's relations and domeftic affairs; if thefe would fatisfy me, he gave me free leave to make ufe of them, because they would ferve to make the hiftory of the law-fuit more intelligible. When I had looked over the manufcript, I found likewise fome further account of the compofition, which perhaps may not be unacceptable to fuch as have read the former part. CHAP. This excufe of Sir Humphry can only relate to the fecond part, or fequel of the hiftory. See the preface to the first part." Jo CHA P. I. The character of John Bull's mother *. OHN had a mother, whom he loved and honoured extremely, a difcreet, grave, fober, good-conditioned, cleanly, old gentlewoman as ever lived, fhe was none of your cross-grained termagant, fcolding jades, that one had as good be hanged as live in the houfe with, fuch as are always cenfuring the conduct and telling fcandalous stories of their neighbours, extolling their own good qualities, and undervaluing thofe of others. On the contrary, fhe was of a meek fpirit, and as the was ftrictly virtuous herself, fo fhe always put the best conftruction upon the words and actions of her neigh bours, except where they were irreconcileable to the rules of honesty and decency. She was neither one of your precife prudes, nor one of your fantastical old belles, that dress themselves like girls of fifteen: as the neither wore a ruff, fore-head cloth, nor high-crowned hat, fo she had laid afide feathers, flowers, and crimpt ribbons in her head-drefs, furbelow-fcarfs, and hooped-petticoats. She fcorned to patch and paint, yet fhe loved to keep her hands and her face clean. Tho' fhe wore no flaunting laced ruffles, fhe would not keep herself in a conftant sweat with greafy flannel: tho' her hair was not ftuck with jewels, fhe was not afhamed of a diamond crofs; she was not like fome ladies, hung about with toys and trinkets, tweezer-cafes, pocket-glaffes, and ef fence bottles; fhe ufed only a gold watch and an almanack, to mark the hours and the holy-days. HER furniture was neat and genteel, well fancied with a bon gouft. As fhe affected not the grandeur of a state with a canopy, the thought there was no offence in an elbow-chair; fhe had laid afide your carving, gilding, and japan-work, as being too apt to gather dirt; but she never could be prevailed upon to part with plain wainscot and clean hangings. There are fome ladies, that affect to *The church of England. fmell. fmell a ftink in every thing; they are always highly perfumed, and continually burning frankincenfe in their rooms; fhe was above fuch affectation, yet fhe never would lay afide the ufe of brooms and fcrubbing-brushes, and fcrupled not to lay her linen in fresh lavender. SHE was no lefs genteel in her behaviour, well-bred, without affectation, in the due mean between one of your affected curt'fying pieces of formality, and your romps that have no regard to the common rules of civility. There are fome ladies, that affect a mighty regard for their relations; "We must not eat to-day, for my "uncle Tom, or my coufin Betty, died this time ten years: let us have a ball to-night, it is my neighbour "fuch-a-one's birth-day :" fhe looked upon all this as grimace; yet fhe conftantly obferved her husband's birth-day, her wedding-day, and fome few more. 66 THO' fhe was a truly good woman, and had a fincere motherly love for her fon John, yet there wanted not those who endeavoured to create a misunderstanding between them. and they had fo far prevailed with him once, that he turned her out of doors, to his great forrow, as he found afterwards, for his affairs went on at fixes and fevens. SHE was no lefs judicious in the turn of her converfation and choice of her ftudies, in which the far exceeded all her fex your rakes, that hate the company of all fober, grave gentlewomen, would bear hers; and fhe would. by her handfome manner of proceeding, fooner reclaim them than fome that were more fowre and referved: fhe was a zealous preacher up of chastity, and conjugal fidelity in wives, and by no means a friend to the new-fangled doctrine of the indifpenfable duty of cuckol dom: tho' fhe advanced her opinions with a becoming affurance, yet fhe never ufhered them in, as fome pofitive creatures will do, with dogmatical affertions, this is infallible; I cannot be mistaken; none but a rogue can deny it. It has been observed, that fuch people are oftner in the wrong than any body. THO' fhe had a thoufand good qualities fhe was not without her faults, amongft which one might perhaps In the rebellion 1641. reckon reckon too great lenity to her fervants, to whom she always gave good counsel, but often too gentle correction. I thought I could not fay lefs of John Bull's mo ther, because the bears a part in the following transactions. CHA P. II. The character of John Bull's fifter Peg*, with the quarrels that happened between master and mifs in their childhood. OHN had a fifter, a poor girl that had been starved at nurse; any body would have gueffed miss to have been bred up under the influence of a cruel ftep-dame, and John to be the fondling of a tender mother. John looked ruddy and plump, with a pair of cheeks like a trumpeter; Mifs looked pale and wan, as if he had the green-fickness; and no wonder, for John was the darling, he had all the good bits, was crammed with good pullet, chicken, pig, goofe, and capon, while Mifs had only a little oat meal and water, or a dry cruft without butter. John had his golden pippins, peaches, and nectarines; poor Mifs a crab-apple, floe, or a blackberry. Master lay in the best apartment, with his bed-chamber towards the fouth fun. Mifs lodged in a garret, exposed to the north wind, which fhrivelled her countenance; however, this ufage, tho' it ftunted the girl in her growth, gave her a hardy conftitution; fhe had life and spirit in abundance, and knew when he was ill ufed: now and then fhe would feize upon John's commons, fnatch a leg of a pullet, or a bit of good beef, for which they were fure to go to fifty-cuffs. Mafter was indeed too ftrong for her; but Mifs would not yield in the least point, but even when Master had got her down, she would scratch and bite like a tyger; when he gave her a cuff on the ear, fhe would prick him with her knitting-needle. John brought a great chain one day to tie her to the bed-poft, for which affront, Mifs aimed a pen-knife at his heart †. - d. In The nation and church of S |