The HISTORY of JOHN BULL, PART I. CHAP. I. The occafion of the law-fuit. NEED not tell you of the great quarrels, that have happened in our neighbourhood fince the death of the late lord Strutt*; how the parfon †, and a ↑ cunning attorney, got him to fettle his eftate upon his coufin | Philip Baboon, to the great difappointment of his coufin | Efquire South. Some stick not to fay, that the parfon and the attorney forged a will, for which they were well paid by the family of the Baboons: let that be as it will, it is matter of fact, that the honour and eftate have continued ever fince in the person of Philip Baboon. You know, that the lord Strutts have for many years been pofleffed of a very great landed eftate, well conditioned, wooded, watered, with coal, falt, tin, copper, iron, &c, all within themselves; that it has been the miffortune of that family to be the property of their stewards, tradefmen, and inferior fervants, which has brought great incumbrances upon them; at the fame time their not abating of their expenfive way of living has forced them to Charles II. of Spain died without issue, and Card. Portocarero and the mortgage Marthal of Harcourt, employed, as is fuppofed, by the house of Bourbon, prevailed upon him to make a will, by which he fettled the fucceffion of the Spanish monarchy upon Philip of Bourbon Duke of Anjou, though his right had by the most folemn renunciations been barred in favour of the Archduke Charles of Auftria; mortgage their beft manors: it is credibly reported, that the butchers and bakers bill of a lord Strutt, that lived two hundred years ago, are not yet paid. WHEN Philip Baboon came firft to the poffeffion of the lord Strutt's eftate, his tradefmen, as is ufual upon fuch occafions, waited upon him to wish him joy and bespeak his cuftom: the two chief were* John Bull the clothier, and Nic. Frog the linen-draper: they told him, that the Bulls and Frogs had ferved the lord Strutts with drapery-ware for many years; that they were honest and fair dealers; that their bills had never been queftioned; that the lord Strutts lived generously, and never used to dirty their fingers with pen, ink, and counters; that his lordship might depend upon their honefty; that they would ufe him as kindly, as they had done his predeceffors. The young lord feemed to take all in good part, and difmiffed them with a deal of feeming content, affuring them he did not intend to change any of the honourable maxims of his predeceffors. СНАР. II. How Bull and Frog grew jealous, that the lord Strutt intended to give all his custom to his grandfather Lewis Baboon §. I T happened unfortunately for the peace of our neighbourhood, that this young lord had an old cunning rogue, or (as the Scots call it) a falfe loon, of a grandfather, that one might juftly call a Jack of all trades ti fometimes you would see him behind his counter felling broad-cloth, fometimes measuring linen; next day he would be dealing in mercery ware; high heads, ribbons, gloves, fans, and lace, he understood to a nicety; Charles the English and Mather the Dutch congratulated Philip upon a fucceffion, which they were not able to prevent: but to difappoint the ambition of S Lewis XIV. and hinder the French nation, whose † trade and character are thus defcribed, and whose king had a Mather could not bubble a young beau better with a toy ; nay, he would descend even to the felling of tape, garters, and fhoe buckles: when shop was fhut up, he would go about the neighbourhood, and earn half a crown by teaching the young men and maids to dance. By these methods he had acquired immenfe riches, which he used to fquander* away at back-fword, quarter-staff, and cudgel-play, in which he took great pleafure, and challenged all the country. You will fay it is no wonder if Bull and Frog fhould be jealous of this fellow. "It is not impoffible (fays Frog to Bull) but this old rogue will "take the management of the young lord's bufinefs into "his hands; besides the rascal has good ware, and will "ferve him as cheap as any body. In that cafe, I leave you to judge what muft become of us and our families; we must starve, or turn journeymen to old Lewis Ba"boon; therefore, neighbour, I hold it advifable, that "we write to young lord Strutt to know the bottom of "this matter." CHAP. III. A copy of Bull and Frog's letter to lord Strutt. I MY LORD, SUPPOSE your lordship knows, that the Bulls and the Frogs have ferved the lord Strutts with all forts of drapery-ware time out of mind: and whereas we are jealous, not without reafon, that your lordship intends henceforth to buy of your grandfire old Lewis Baboon; this is to inform your lordfhp, that this proceeding does not fuit with the circumftances of our families, who have lived and made a good figure in the world by the generofity of the lord Strutts. Therefore we think fit to acquaint your lordship, that you must find fufficient fecurity Atrong difpofition to war, from becoming too potent, an alliance was formed to procure a reasonable fatisfaction to the houfe of Auftria for its pretenfions to the Spanish fucceffion, " and fufficient rity to us, our heirs and affigns, that you will not employ Lewis Baboon; or else we will take our remedy at law, clap an action upon you of 20,000 /. for old debts, feize and distrain your goods and chattels, which, confidering your lordship's circumftances, will plunge you into difficulties, from which it will not be easy to extricate yourself; therefore we hope, when your lordship has better confidered on it, you will comply with the defire of Your loving friends, JOHN BULL, SOME of Bull's friends advised him to take gentler me thods with the young lord; but John naturally loved rough play. It is impoffible to exprefs the furprize of the lord Strutt upon the receipt of this letter; he was not flufh in ready either to go to law, or clear old debts, neither could he find good bail: he offered to bring matters to a friendly accommodation; and promised upon his word of honour, that he would not change his drapers; but all to no purpofe, for Bull and Frog faw clearly that old Lewis would have the cheating of him. CHA P. IV. How Bull and Frog went to law with lord Strutt about the premises, and were joined by the rest of the tradefmen. A LL endeavours of accommodation between lord Strutt and his drapers proved vain; jealoufies increased, and indeed it was rumoured abroad, that lord Strutt had bespoke his new liveries of old Lewis Baboon. This "fecurity to England and Holland for their dominions, "navigation, and commerce, and to prevent the union of the "two monarchies France and Spain." To effect these purposes, Queen Anne was by This coming to Mrs Bull's * eats, when John Bull came home, he found all his family in an uproar. Mrs Bull, you must know, was very apt to be choleric. "You "fot, fays fhe, you loiter about ale-houses and taverns, "fpend your time at billiards, ninepins, or puppet-fhows, or flaunt about the freets in your new gilt chariot, "never minding me nor your numerous family. Don't you hear how lord Strutt has bespoke his liveries at "Lewis Baboon s fhop? Don't you fee how that old fox fteals away your customers, and turns you out of your "business every day, and you fit like an idle drone with 61 your bands in your pockets? Fie upon't! up man, rouze thy felf; I'll fell to my fhift, before I'll be so uf"ed by the knave." You must think Mrs Bull had been pretty well turned up by Frog, who chimed in with her learned harangue. No further delay now, but to council learned in the law they go, who unanimoufly af fured them both of the juftice and infallible success of their law-fuit. I told you before, that old Lewis Baboon was a fort of a Jack of all trades, which made the reft of the tradefmen jealous, as well as Bull and Frog; they hearing of the quarrel were glad of an opportunity of joining against old Lewis Baboon, provided that Bull and Frog would bear the charges of the fuit; even lying Ned. † the chimney-sweeper of Savoy, and Tom I the Portugal duftman, put in their claims; and the cause was put into the hands of Humphry Hocus the attorney 66 1 66 **. A declaration was drawn up to fhew "That Bull and Frog had undoubted right by prescription to be drapers to the lord Strutts; that there were several old contracts to that purpofe; that Lewis Baboon had "taken up the trade of clothier and draper, without ferv ing his time or purchafing his freedom; that he fold goods, that were not marketable, without the stamp; VOL. VIII. "that e ⚫ the parliament precipitated into the war as a principal. Among her allies were the Duke of Savoy, and the King of Portugal; and ** John Churchill Duke of Marlborough was appointed general in chief of the confederate army. |