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O brave! oh excellent if you maintain it!
shall be hereafter an honour to you to bear But if you try, and can't go through with spirit, And finding you can't bear it, uninvited,
my name; and your pride that you are the Your peace unmade, all of your own accord, delight, the darling, and ornament of a man You come and swear you love, and can't endure it, of honour, useful and esteemed by his Good night! all's over! ruind! and undone! She'll jilt you, when she sees you in her power.-
friends; and I no longer one that has buried Colman. some merit in the world, in compliance to
a froward humour which has grown upon • To Mr. Spectator.
an agreeable woman by his indulgence. SIR,-This is to inform you, that Mr. Mr. Freeman ended this with a tenderness Freeman had no sooner taken coach, but in his aspect, and a downcast eye, which his lady was taken with a terrible fit of the showed he was extremely moved at the anvapours, which it is feared will make her guish he saw her in; for she sat swelling miscarry, if not endanger her life; there- with passion, and her eyes firmly fixed on fore, dear sir, if you know of any receipt the fire; when I, fearing he would lose all that is good against this fashionable reign- again, took upon me to provoke her out of ing distemper, be pleased to communicate that amiable sorrow she was in, to fall upon it for the good of the public, and you will me; upon which I said very seasonably for oblige, yours, A. NOEWILL.' my friend, that indeed Mr. Freeman was
become the common talk of the town: and • MR. SPECTATOR, -The uproar was so that nothing was so much a jest, as when it great as soon as I had read the Spectator was said in company Mr. Freeman has proconcerning Mrs. Freeman, that after many mised to come to such a place. Upon which revolutions in her temper, of raging, swoon- the good lady turned her softness into downing, railing, fainting, pitying herself, and right rage, and threw the scalding tea-ketreviling her husband, upon an accidental tle upon your humble servant, flew into the coming in of a neighbouring lady (who says middle of the room, and cried out she was she has writ to you also) she had nothing the unfortunatest of all women. Others left for it but to fall into a fit. I had the kept family dissatisfactions for hours of honour to read the paper to her, and have privacy and retirement. No apology was a pretty good command of countenance to be made to her, no expedient to be found, and temper on such occasions; and soon no previous manner of breaking what was found my historical name to be Tom Meg- amiss in her; but all the world was to be got in your writings, but concealed myself acquainted with her errors, without the until I saw how it affected Mrs. Freeman. least admonition. Mr. Freeman was going She looked frequently at her husband, as to make a softening speech, but I interposed: often at me; and she did not tremble as she “Look you, madam, I have nothing to say filled tea, until she came to the circum- to this matter, but you ought to consider stance of Armstrong's writing out a piece you are now past a chicken: this humour, of Tully for an opera tune. Then she burst which was well enough in a girl, is insufout, she was exposed, she was deceived, ferable in one of your motherly character.” she was wronged and abused. The tea-cup With that she lost all patience, and flew was thrown in the fire; and without taking directly at her husband's periwig. I got vengeance on her spouse, she said to me, her in my arms, and defended my friend; that I was a pretending coxcomb, a med- he making signs at the same time that it dler that knew not what it was to interpose was too much; I beckoning, nodding, and in so nice an affair as between a man and frowning over her shoulder, that he was his wife. To which Mr. Freeman: Ma- lost if he did not persist. In this manner dam, were I less fond of you than I am, I she flew round and round the room in a moshould not have taken this way of writing ment, until the lady I spoke of above and to the Spectator to inform a woman, whom servants entered; upon which she fell on a God and nature have placed under my di- couch as breathless. I still kept up my rection, with what I request of her; but friend: but he, with a very silly air, bid since you are so indiscreet as not to take them bring the coach to the door, and we the hint which I gave you in that paper, I went off: I being forced to bid the coachmust tell you, madam, in so many words, man drive on. We were no sooner come to that you have for a long and tedious space my lodgings, but all his wife's relations came of time acted a part unsuitable to the sense to inquire after him; and Mrs. Freeman's you ought to have of the subordination in mother writ a note, wherein she thought which you are placed. And I must ac- never to have seen this day, and so forth. quaint you once for all, that the fellow with * In a word, sir, I am afraid we are upon out-Ha, Tom!”—(Here the footman en- a thing we have not talents for, and I can tered and answered, “ Madam.”) “Sirrah, observe already, my friend looks upon me don't you know my voice? Look upon me rather as a man that knows a weakness of when I speak to you. I say, madam, this him that he is ashamed of, than one who fellow here is to know of me myself, whe- has rescued him from slavery. Mr. Specther I am at leisure to see company or not. tator, I am but a young fellow, and if Mr. I am from this hour master of this house; Freeman submits, I shall be looked upon as and my business in it, and every where else, an incendiary, and never get a wife as long is to behave myself in such a manner, as it as I breathe. He has indeed sent word
Juv. Sat. vi. 326.
home he shall lie at Hampstead to-night; some member's chamber, where every one but I believe fear of the first onset after is to pick out what belonged to her from this rupture has too great a place in this this confused bundle of silks, stuffs, laces, resolution. Mrs. Freeman has a very pretty and ribands. I have hitherto given you an sister; suppose I delivered him up, and account of our diversion on ordinary clubarticled with the mother for her for bring- nights; but must acquaint you further, that ing him home. If he has not courage to once a month we demolish a prude, that is, stand it (you are a great casuist,) is it such we get some queer formal creature in an ill thing to bring myself off as well as I among us, and unrig her in an instant. can? What makes me doubt my man is, Our last month's prude was so armed and that I find he thinks it reasonable to ex- fortified in whalebone and buckram, that postulate at least with her; and Captain we had much ado to come at her; but you Sentry will tell you, if you let your orders would have died with laughing to have seen be disputed, you are no longer a comman- how the sober awkward thing looked when der. I wish you could advise me how to get she was forced out of her entrenchments. clear of this business handsomely. Yours, In short, sir, it is impossible to give you a T. TOM MEGGOT.' true notion of our sport, unless you would
come one night amongst us; and though it
be directly against the rules of our society No. 217.) Thursday, November 8, 1711. to admit a male visitant, we repose so much
confidence in your silence and taciturnity, -Tunc fæmina simplex,
that it was agreed by the whole club, at Et pariter toto repetitur clamor ab antro.-
our last meeting, to give you entrance for Then unrestrain'd by rules of decency,
one night as a spectator. 'I am your humTh' assembled females faise a general cry.
ble servant, I shall entertain my reader to-day with
· KITTY TERMAGANT. some letters from my correspondents. The •P. S. We shall demolish a prude next first of them is the description of a club, Thursday.' whether real or imaginary I cannot determine; but am apt to fancy, that the
Though I thank Kitty for her kind offer, writer of it, whoever she is, has formed a
I do not at present find in myself any inkind of nocturnal orgie out of her own fancy; and her romping companions. I should re
clination to venture my person with her Whether this be so or not, her letter may conduce to the amendment of that kind of gard myself as a second Clodius intruding persons who are represented in it, and on the mysterious rites of the Bona Dea, whose characters are frequent enough in and should apprehend being demolished as the world.
much as the prude.
The following letter comes from a gen«Mr. Spectator,- In some of your first tleman whose taste I find is much too delipapers you were pleased to give the public a cate to endure the least advance towards very diverting account of several clubs and romping. I may perhaps hereafter improve nocturnal assemblies; but I am a member upon the hint he has given me, and make of a society which has wholly escaped your it'the subject of a whole Spectator; in the notice, I mean a club of She-Romps. We mean time take it as it follows in his own take each a hackney-coach, and meet once words:a week in a large upper-chamber, which we hire by the year for that purpose; our Mr. SPECTATOR,—It is my misfortune landlord and his family, who are quiet peo- to be in love with a young creature who is ple, constantly contriving to be abroad on daily committing faults, which though they our club-night. We are no sooner come give me the utmost uneasiness, I know not together, than we throw off all that modesty how to reprove her for, or even acquaint and reservedness with which our sex are her with. She is pretty, dresses well, is obliged to disguise themselves in public rich, and good-humoured; but either wholly places. I am not able to express the plea- neglects, or has no notion of that which sure we enjoy from ten at night till four in polite people have agreed to distinguish by the morning, in being as rude as you men the name of delicacy. After our return can be for your lives. As our play runs from a walk the other day, she threw herhigh, the room is immediately filled with self into an elbow-chair, and professed bebroken fans, torn petticoats, lappets, or fore a large company, that she was all over head-dresses, flounces, furbelows, garters, in a sweat. She told me this afternoon that and working-aprons. I had forgot to tell her stomach ached; and was complaining you at first, that besides the coaches we yesterday at dinner of something that stuck come in ourselves, there is one which stands in her teeth. I treated her with a basket always empty to carry off our dead men, of fruit last summer, which she eat so very for so we call all those fragments and tat- greedily, as almost made me resolve never ters with which the room is strewed, and to see her more. In short, sir, I begin to which we pack up together in bundles and tremble whenever I see her about to speak put into the aforesaid coach. It is no small or move. As she does not want sense, if diversion for us to meet the next night at) she takes these hints I am happy; if not, I
Nor woman neither."
am more than afraid, that these things tive temper to the advantage or diminution which shock me even in the behaviour of a of those whom they mention, without being mistress, will appear insupportable in that moved either by malice or good-will. It of a wife. I am, sir, yours, &c.'
will be too long to expatiate upon the sense
all mankind have of fame, and the inexMy next letter comes from a corres
pressible pleasure which there is in the appondent whom I cannot but very much probation of worthy men, to all who are value, upon the account which she es capable of worthy actions, but methinks of herself.
one may divide the general word fame into MR. SPECTATOR, I am happily arrived three different species, as it regards the at a state of tranquillity, which few people different orders of mankind who have any envy, I mean that of an old maid; therefore thing to do with it. Fame therefore may being wholly unconcerned in all that med- be divided into glory, which respects the ley of follies which our sex is apt to con
hero; reputation, which is preserved by tract from their silly fondness of yours, I every gentleman; and credit, which must
be read your railleries on us, without
These supported by every tradesman.
provocation. I can say with Hamlet,
possessions in fame are dearer than life to
those characters of men, or rather are the "Man delights not me,
life of these characters. Glory, while the
hero pursues great and noble enterprises, • Therefore, dear sir, as you never spare is impregnable; and all the assailants of his your own sex, do not be afraid of reproving renown do but show their pain and impawhat is ridiculous in ours, and you will tience of its brightness, without throwing oblige at least one woman, who is your the least shade upon it. If the foundation humble servant,
of an high name be virtue and service, all "SUSANNAH FROST.' that is offered against it is but rumour, “Mr. Spectator, I am wife to a cler- which is too short-lived to stand up in comgyman, and cannot help thinking that in petition with glory, which is everlasting. your tenth or tithe character of womankind
Reputation, which is the portion of every you meant myself, therefore I have no
man who would live with the elegant and quarrel against you for the other nine cha-glory, if it be as well founded; and the
knowing part of mankind, is as stable as racters. Your humble servant, X.
common cause of human society is thought concerned when we hear a man of good
behaviour calumniated. Besides which, No. 218.] Friday, November 9, 1711.
according to a prevailing custom amongst
us, every man has his defence in his own Quid de quoque viro, et cui dicas, st pe caveto. arm: and reproach is soon checked, put out Hor. Lib. 1. Ep. xviii. 68. of countenance, and overtaken by disgrace,
The most unhappy of all men, and the of whom you talk, to whom, and what, and where.
most exposed to the malignity and wantonPooley.
ness of the common voice, is the trader. I HAPPENED the other day, as my way is, Credit is undone in whispers. The tradesto stroll into a little coffee-house beyond man's wound is received from one who is Aldgate; and as I sat there, two or three more private and more cruel than the rufvery plain sensible men were talking of the fian with the lantern and dagger. The manSpectator. One said, he had that morning ner of repeating a man's name,—As; ' Mr. drawn the great benefit ticket; another Cash, Oh! do you leave your money at his wished he had; but a third shaked his head shop? Why, do you know Mr. Searoom? and said, It was a pity that the writer of He is indeed a general merchant.' I say, that paper was such a sort of man, that it I have seen, from the iteration of a man's was no great matter whether he had or no. name, hiding one thought of him, and exHe is, it seems, said the good man, the most plaining what you hide, by saying someextravagant creature in the world; has run thing to his advantage when you speak, a through vast sums, and yet been in con- merchant hurt in his credit; and him who, tinual want: a man, for all he talks so well every day he lived, literally added to the of economy, unfit for any of the offices of value of his native country, undone by life by reason of his profuseness. It would one who was only a burden and a blemish be an unhappy thing to be his wife, his to it. Since every body who knows the child, or his friend; and yet he talks as well world is sensible of this great evil, how of those duties of life as any one. Much careful ought a man to be in his language reflection has brought me to so easy a con- of a merchant? It may possibly be in the tempt for every thing which is false, that power of a very shallow creature to lay this heavy accusation gave me no manner the ruin of the best family in the most opuof uneasiness; but at the same time it threw lent city; and the more so, the more highly me into deep thought upon the subject of he deserves of his country; that is to say, fame in general; and I could not but pity the farther he places his wealth out of his such as were so weak, as to value what the hands, to draw home that of another clicommon people say out of their own talka- | mate,
Have a care
In this case an ill word may change plenty | them down as they have occurred to me, into want, and by a rash sentence à free without being at the pains to connect or and generous fortune may in a few days be methodise them. reduced to beggary. How little does a All superiority and pre-eminence that giddy prater imagine, that an idle phrase one man can have over another, may be reto the disfavour of a merchant, may be as duced to the notion of quality, which, conpernicious in the consequence, as the for- sidered at large, is either that of fortune, gery of a deed to bar an inheritance would body, or mind. The first is that which conbe to a gentleman? Land stands where it sists in birth, title, or riches; it is the most did before a gentleman was calumniated, foreign to our natures, and what we can the and the state of a great action is just as it least call our own of any of the three kinds was before calumny was offered to diminish of quality. In relation to the body, quality it, and there is time, place, and occasion, arises from health, strength, or beauty; expected to unravel all that is contrived which are nearer to us, and more a part of against those characters; but the trader who ourselves than the former. Quality, as it is ready only for probable demands upon regards the mind, has its rise from knowhim, can have no armour against the in- ledge or virtue; and is that which is more quisitive, the malicious, and the envious, essential to us, and more intimately united who are prepared to fill the cry to his dis- with us than either of the other two. honour. Fire and sword are slow engines The quality of fortune, though a man has of destruction, in comparison of the babbler less reason to value himself upon it than on in the case of the merchant.
that of the body or mind, is however the For this reason I thought it an imitable kind of quality which makes the most shinpiece of humanity of a gentleman of my ing figure in the eye of the world. acquaintance, who had great variety of af As virtue is the most reasonable and fairs, and used to talk.with warmth enough genuine source of honour, we generally find against gentlemen by whom he thought in titles an intimation of some particular himself ill dealt with; that he would never merit that should recommend men to the let any thing be urged against a merchant high stations which they possess. Holiness (with whom he had any difference) except is ascribed to the pope; majesty to kings: in a court of justice. He used to say, that to serenity or mildness of temper to princes; speak ill of a merchant, was to begin his excellence or perfection to ambassadors; suit with judgment and execution. One grace to archbishops; honour to peers; worcannot, I think, say more on this occasion, ship or venerable behaviour to magistrates; than to repeat, that the merit of the mer- and reverence, which is of the same import chant is above that of all other subjects; as the former, to the inferior clergy. for while he is untouched in his credit, his In the founders of great families, such hand-writing is a more portable coin for the attributes of honour are generally correservice of his fellow-citizens, and his word spondent with the virtues of the person to the gold of Ophir to the country wherein whom they are applied; but in the descendhe resides.
ants they are too often the marks rather of grandeur than of merit. The stamp and
denomination still continues, but the inNo. 219.] Saturday, November 10, 1711. trinsic value is frequently lost.
The death-bed shows the emptiness of These I scarce call our own.
titles in a true light. A poor dispirited sin
ner lies trembling under the apprehensions There are but few men, who are not of the state he is entering on; and is asked ambitious of distinguishing themselves in by a grave attendant how his holiness does? the nation or country where they live, and Another hears himself addressed to under of growing considerable among those with the title of highness or excellency, who lies whom they converse. There is a kind of under such mean circumstances of mortality grandeur and respect, which the meanest as are the disgrace of human nature. Titles and most insignificant part of mankind en- at such a time look rather like insults and deavour to procure in the little circle of mockery than respect. their friends and acquaintance. The poorest The truth of it is, honours are in this mechanic, nay, the man who lives upon world under no regulation; true quality is common alms, gets him his set of admirers, neglected, virtue is oppressed, and vice and delights in that superiority which he triumphant. The last day will rectify this enjoys over those who are in some respects disorder, and assign to every one a station beneath him. This ambition, which is natu- suitable to the dignity of his character. ral to the soul of man, might methinks re- Ranks will be then adjusted, and precedency ceive a very happy turn; and, if it were set right. rightly directed, contribute as much to a Methinks we should have an ambition, if person's advantage, as it generally does to not to advance ourselves in another world, his uneasiness and disquiet.
at least to preserve our post in it, and outI shall therefore put together some shine our inferiors in virtue here, that they thoughts on this subject, which I have not may not be put above us in a state which is met with in other writers; and shall set to settle the distinction for eternity,
Vix ea nostra voco.-- Orid. Met, Lib. xiii. 141.
Men in Scripture are called strangers and children of God, and his lot is among the sojourners upon earth, and life a pilgrimage. saints!'t Several heathen, as well as Christian au If the reader would see the description of thors, under the same kind of metaphor, a life that is passed away in vanity and have represented the world as an inn, which among the shadows of pomp and greatness, was only designed to furnish us with ac- he may see it very finely drawn in the same commodations in this our passage. It is place. I. In the mean time, since it is netherefore very absurd to think of setting up cessary in the present constitution of things, our rest before we come to our journey's that order and distinction should be kept up end, and not rather to take care of the re- in the world, we should be happy, if those ception we shall there meet, than to fix our who enjoy the upper stations in it, would thoughts on the little conveniences and ad- endeavour to surpass others in virtue, as vantages which we enjoy one above another much as in rank, and by their humanity in the way to it.
and condescension make their superiority Epictetus makes use of another kind of easy and acceptable to those who are beallusion, which is very beautiful, and won- neath them; and if, on the contrary, those derfully proper to incline us to be satisfied who are in meaner posts of life, would conwith the post in which Providence has sider how they may better their condition placed us. We are here, says he, as in a hereafter, and by a just deference and theatre, where every one has a part allot- submission to their superiors, make them ted to him. The great duty which lies upon happy in those blessings with which Provia man is to act his part in perfection. We dence has thought fit to distinguish them. may indeed say, that our part does not suit C. us, and that we could act another better. But this, says the philosopher, is not our business. All that we are concerned in is No. 220.] Monday, November 12, 1711. to excel in the part which is given us. If it be an improper one, the fault is not in us, Rumoresque serit variosbut in Him who has cast our several parts,
Virg. Ær. xii. 228. and is the great disposer of the drama.
A thousand rumours spreads. The part that was acted by this philoso "Sir,-Why will you apply to my father pher himself was but a very indifferent one, for my love? I cannot help it if he will give för he lived and died a slave. His motive you my person; but I assure you it is not in to contentment in this particular, receives his power, nor even in my own, to give you a very great enforcement from the above my heart. Dear sir, do but consider the ill mentioned consideration, if we remember consequence of such a match; you are fiftythat our parts in the other world will be five, I'twenty-one. You are a man of businew-cast, and that mankind will be there ness, and mightily conversant in arithmetic ranged in different stations of superiority and making calculations; be pleased thereand pre-eminence, in proportion as they fore to consider what proportion your spirits have here excelled one another in virtue, bear to mine; and when you have made a and performed in their several posts of life just estimate of the necessary decay on one the duties which belong to them.
side, and the redundance on the other, you There are many beautiful passages in the will act accordingly. This perhaps is such little apocryphal book, entitled, The Wis- language as you may not expect from a dom of Solomon, to set forth the vanity of young lady; but my happiness is at stake, honour, and the like temporal blessings and I must talk plainly. I mortally hate which are in so great repute among men, you; and so, as you and my father agree, and to comfort those who have not the pos- you may take me or leave me: but if you session of them. It represents in very warm will be so good as never to see me more, and noble terms this advancement of a good you will for ever oblige, sir, your most man in the other world, and the great sur- humble servant, HENRIÉTTA.' prise which it will produce among those who are his superiors in this. •Then shall “MR. SPECTATOR,—There are so many the righteous man stand in great boldness artifices and modes of false wit, and such a before the face of such as have afflicted variety of humour discovers itself among its him, and made no account of his labours. votaries, that it would be impossible to exWhen they see it they shall be troubled haust so fertile a subject, if you would think with terrible fear, and shall be amazed at fit to resume it. The following instances the strangeness of his salvation, so far be- may, if you think fit, be added by way of yond' all that they looked for. And they appendix to your discourses on that subject. repenting and groaning for anguish of spirit, *That feat of poetical activity mentioned shall say within themselves, This was he by Horace, of an author who could compose whom we had sometime in derision, and a two hundred verses while he stood upon one proverb of reproach. We fools accounted leg, has been imitated (as I have heard,) his life madness and his end to be without by a modern writer; who priding himself honour. How is he numbered among the on the hurry of his invention, thought it no
* Epicteti Enchirid. cap. 23.