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am very well read in Waller, I repeated to her the four following verses out of his poem to Vandyke:

"The heedless lover does not know

Whose eyes they are that wound him so;
But, confounded with thy art,

Inquires her name that has his heart."

of folding doors. If a candidate for this cor-
pulent club could make his entrance through
the first, he was looked upon as unqualified;
but if he stuck in the passage, and could
not force his way through it, the folding-
doors were immediately thrown open for
his reception, and he was saluted as a bro-
ther. I have heard that this club, though
it consisted but of fifteen persons, weighed
above three tons.

I pronounced these words with such a languishing air, that I had some reason to conclude I had made a conquest. She told In opposition to this society, there sprung me that she hoped my face was not akin to up another composed of scarecrows and my tongue, and looking upon her watch, I accidentally discovered the figure of a coro-skeletons, who, being very meagre and ennet on the back part of it. I was so trans-vious, did all they could to thwart the deported with the thought of such an amour, signs of their bulky brethren, whom they that I plied her from one room to another represented as men of dangerous principles; with all the gallantries I could invent; and till at length they worked them out of the at length brought things to so happy an favour of the people, and consequently out issue, that she gave me a private meeting of the magistracy. These factions tore the the next day, without page or footman, corporation in pieces for several years, till coach or equipage. My heart danced in at length they came to this accommodation: raptures; but I had not lived in this golden that the two bailiffs of the town should be dream above three days, before I found annually chosen out of the two clubs; by good reason to wish that I had continued which means the principal magistrates are true to my laundress. I have since heard, at this day coupled like rabbits, one fat and by a very great accident, that this fine lady does not live far from Covent-garden, and that I am not the first cully whom she has passed herself upon for a countess.

Thus, sir, you see how I have mistaken
a cloud for a Juno; and if you can make any
use of this adventure, for the benefit of
those who may possibly be as vain young
coxcombs as myself, I do most heartily give
you leave.
'I am, Sir,

'Your most humble admirer,
'B. L.'

I design to visit the next masquerade myself, in the same habit I wore at Grand Cairo; and till then shall suspend my judgment of this midnight entertainment.

No. 9.] Saturday, March 10, 1710-11.
-Tigris agit rabida cum tigride pacem
Perpetuam: sævis inter se convenit ursis.

C.

Juv. Sat. xv. 163.
Tiger with tiger, bear with bear you'll find
In leagues offensive and defensive join'd.

Tate.

one lean.

Every one has heard of the club, or rather the confederacy of the Kings. This grand alliance was formed a little after the return of King Charles the Second, and admitted into it men of all qualities and professions, provided they agreed in the surname of King, which, as they imagined, sufficiently declared the owners of it to be altogether untainted with republican and anti-monarchical principles.

A christian name has likewise been often used as a badge of distinction, and made the occasion of a club. That of the Georges, which used to meet at the sign of the George, on St. George's day, and swear 'Before George,' is still fresh in every one's memory.

There are at present, in several parts of this city, what they call street-clubs, in which the chief inhabitants of the street converse together every night. I remember, upon my inquiring after lodgings in Ormond-street, the landlord, to recommend that quarter of the town, told me, there MAN is said to be a sociable animal, and, was at that time a very good club in it; he as an instance of it, we may observe, that also told me, upon further discourse with we take all occasions and pretences of form- him, that two or three noisy country ing ourselves into those little nocturnal as- 'squires, who were settled there the year semblies, which are commonly known by before, had considerably sunk the price of the name of clubs. When a set of men find house-rent; and that the club (to prevent themselves agree in any particular, though the like inconveniencies for the future) had never so trivial, they establish themselves thoughts of taking every house that became into a kind of fraternity and meet once or vacant into their own hands, till they had twice a week, upon the account of such a fan-found a tenant for it, of a sociable nature tastic resemblance. I know a considerable and good conversation. market-town, in which there was a club of fat men, that did not come together (as you may well suppose) to entertain one another with sprightliness and wit, but to keep one The room where the club met was something of the largest, and had two entrances, the one by a door of a moderate size, and the other by a pair

another in countenance.

The Hum-Drum club, of which I was formerly an unworthy member, was made up of very honest gentlemen, of peaceable dispositions, that used to sit together, smoke their pipes, and say nothing, till midnight. The Mum club (as I am informed) is an institution of the same nature, and as great an enemy to noise.

After these two innocent societies, I can- | Rules to be observed in the Two-penny

not forbear mentioning a very mischievous one, that was erected in the reign of King Charles the second: I mean the club of duellists, in which none was to be admitted that had not fought his man. The president of it was said to have killed half a dozen in single combat; and as for the other members, they took their seats according to the number of their slain. There was likewise a side-table, for such as had only

drawn blood, and shown a laudable ambition of taking the first opportunity to qualify themselves for the first table. This club,

consisting only of men of honour, did not continue long, most of the members of it being put to the sword, or hanged, a little

after its institution.

Our modern celebrated clubs are founded upon eating and drinking, which are points wherein most men agree, and in which the learned and the illiterate, the dull and the airy, the philosopher and the buffoon, can all of them bear a part. The Kit-cat* itself is said to have taken its original from a mutton-pie. The Beef-steakt and October clubs are neither of them averse to eating and drinking, if we may form a judgment of them from their respective titles.

When men are thus knit together, by a love of society, not a spirit of faction, and do not meet to censure or annoy those that are absent, but to enjoy one another; when they are thus combined for their own improvement, or for the good of others, or at least to relax themselves from the business of the day, by an innocent and cheerful conversation, there may be something very useful in these little institutions and establishments.

Club, erected in this place, for the preservation of friendship and good neigh

bourhood.

I. Every member at his first coming in shall lay down his two-pence.

II. Every member shall fill his pipe out of his own box.

shall forfeit a penny for the use of the III. If any member absents himself he club, unless in case of sickness or imprison

ment.

neighbour may give him a kick upon the IV. If any member swears or curses, his

shins.

that are not true, he shall forfeit for every V. If any member tells stories in the club third lie an half-penny.

VI. If any member strikes another wrongfully he shall pay his club for him. VII. If any member brings his wife into the club, he shall pay for whatever she

drinks or smokes.

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I cannot forbear concluding this paper with a scheme of laws that I met with upon a wall in a little alehouse. How I came thither I may inform my reader at a more convenient time. These laws were enact- thor. ed by a knot of artisans and mechanics, who used to meet every night; and as

C.

there is something in them which gives us No. 10.] Monday, March 12, 1710-11. a pretty picture of low life, I shall transcribe them word for word.

*This club, which took its name from Christopher Cat, the maker of their mutton-pies, was originally formed in Shire-lane, about the time of the trial of the seven bishops, for a little free evening conversation, but in Queen Anne's reign comprehended above forty noblemen and gentlemen of the first rank, all firm friends to the Hanoverian succession. The verses for their toasting glasses were written by Garth, and the Portraits of all its members painted by Kneller, who was himself one of their number; hence all portraits of the same dimensions are at this time known by the name of Kit Cat. Jacob Tonson, the bookseller, was their secretary, and built a gallery at his house at Barn Elms, for the reception of the pictures, and where the club occasionally held its meetings this valuable collection has come by inheritance to From Tonson,

Samuel Baker, Esq. of Hertingfordbury, near Hertford. Of this club, it is said, that Mrs. Woffington, the only woman belonging to it, was president; Richard Est court, the comedian, was their provedore, and as an honourable badge of his office, wore a small gridiron of gold hung round his neck with a green silk riband.

Non aliter quam qui adverso vix flumine lembum,
Remigiis subigit: si brachia forte remisit,
Atque illum in præceps prono rapit alveus amni.
Virg. Georg. i. v. 201.

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So the boat's brawny crew the current stem,
And slow advancing, struggle with the stream:
But if they slack their hands, or cease to strive,
Then down the flood with headlong haste they drive.
Dryden.

IT is with much satisfaction that I hear this great city inquiring day by day after these my papers, and receiving my morning lectures with a becoming seriousness and attention. My publisher tells me, that distributed every day: so that if I allow there are already three thousand of them twenty readers to every paper, which I look upon as a modest computation, I may reckon about threescore thousand disciples in London and Westminster, who I hope

No. 10.]

THE SPECTATOR.

There is another set of men that I must will take care to distinguish themselves from the thoughtless herd of their ignorant and likewise lay a claim to, whom I have lately inattentive brethren. Since I have raised called the blanks of society, as being altoto myself so great an audience, I shall spare gether unfurnished with ideas, till the buno pains to make their instruction agree-siness and conversation of the day has supable, and their diversion useful. For which plied them. I have often considered those reasons I shall endeavour to enliven mo- poor souls with an eye of great commiserarality with wit, and to temper wit with tion, when I have heard them asking the morality, that my readers may, if possible, first man they have met with, whether both ways find their account in the specu- there was any news stirring? and by that lation of the day. And to the end that means gathering together materials for their virtue and discretion may not be thinking. These needy persons do not know short, transient, intermitting starts of what to talk of, till about twelve o'clock in thought, I have resolved to refresh their me- the morning; for by that time they are mories from day to day, till I have recover- pretty good judges of the weather, know As they lie at the ed them out of that desperate state of vice which way the wind sits, and whether the and folly into which the age is fallen. The Dutch mail be come in. mind that lies fallow but a single day, mercy of the first man they meet, and are sprouts up in follies that are only to be kill- grave or impertinent all the day long, aced by a constant and assiduous culture. It cording to the notions which they have was said of Socrates, that he brought phi- imbibed in the morning, I would earnestly ⚫losophy down from heaven, to inhabit entreat them not to stir out of their chamamong men; and I shall be ambitious_tobers till they have read this paper, and do have it said of me that I have brought phi- promise them that I will daily instil into losophy out of closets and libraries, schools, them such sound and wholesome sentiand colleges, to dwell in clubs and assem-ments, as shall have a good effect on their conversation for the ensuing twelve hours. But there are none to whom this paper blies, at tea-tables, and in coffee-houses.

I would, therefore, in a very particular manner, recommend these my speculations will be more useful than to the female to all well-regulated families, that set world. I have often thought there has not apart an hour in every morning for tea been sufficient pains taken in finding out Their amusements seem conand bread and butter; and would earnestly proper employments and diversions for the advise them, for their good, to order this fair ones. than as they are reasonable creatures; and paper to be punctually served up, and to be trived for them, rather as they are women, looked upon as a part of the tea-equipage. are more adapted to the sex than to the species. The toilet is their great scene of business, and the right adjusting of their hair the principal employment of their lives. The sorting of a suit of ribands is reckoned a very good morning's work; and if they make an excursion to a mercer's or a toy-shop, so great a fatigue makes them unfit for any thing else all the day after. Their more serious occupations are sew ing and embroidery, and their greatest drudgery the preparations of jellies and sweetmeats. This, I say, is the state of ordinary women; though I know there are and conversation, that move in an exalted multitudes of those of a more elevated life sphere of knowledge and virtue, that join all the beauties of the mind to the ornaments of dress, and inspire a kind of awe and respect, as well as love, into their male beholders. I hope to increase the number of these by publishing this daily paper, which I shall always endeavour to make an innocent if not an improving entertainment, and by that means at least divert the minds of my female readers from greater trifles. At the same time, as I would fain give some finishing touches to those which are already the most beautiful pieces in human nature, I shall endeavour to point out all those imperfections that are the blemishes, as well as those virtues In the meanwhile, I hope these my genwhich are the embellishments, of the sex.

Sir Francis Bacon observes, that a well-
written book, compared with its rivals and
antagonists, is like Moses's serpent, that
immediately swallowed up and devoured
shall not be so
those of the Egyptians.
vain as to think, that where the Spectator
appears, the other public prints will vanish;
but shall leave it to my reader's considera-
tion, whether it is not much better to be let
into the knowledge of one's self, than to hear
what passes in Muscovy or Poland; and to
amuse ourselves with such writings as tend
to the wearing out of ignorance, passion,
and prejudice, than such as naturally con-
duce to inflame hatreds, and make enmi-
ties irreconcilable?

In the next place I would recommend
his paper to the daily perusal of those gen-
tlemen whom I cannot but consider as my
good brothers and allies, I mean the fra-
ternity of Spectators, who live in the world
without having any thing to do in it; and
either by the affluence of their fortunes, or
laziness of their dispositions, have no other
business with the rest of mankind, but to
look upon them. Under this class of men
are comprehended all contemplative trades-
men, titular physicians, fellows of the royal
society, templars that are not given to be
contentious, and statesmen that are out of
business; in short, every one that considers
the world as a theatre, and desires to
form a right judgment of those who are the
actors on it.

tle readers, who have so much time on | no opportunity, till the larum ceased of ittheir hands, will not grudge throwing away self, which it did not till he had repeated a quarter of an hour in a day on this paper, and murdered the celebrated story of the since they may do it without any hindrance Ephesian matron. to business.

I know several of my friends and wellwishers are in great pain for me, lest I should not be able to keep up the spirit of a paper which I oblige myself to furnish every day; but to make them easy in this particular, I will promise them faithfully to give it over as soon as I grow dull. This I know will be a matter of great raillery to the small wits, who will frequently put me in mind of my promise, desire me to keep my word, assure me that it is high time to give over, with many other little pleasantries of the like nature, which men of a little smart genius cannot forbear throwing out against their best friends, when they have such a handle given them of being witty. But let them remember, that I do hereby enter my caveat against this piece of raillery. C.

No. 11.] Tuesday, March 13, 1710-11.
Dat veniam corvis, vexat censura columbas.
Juv. Sat. ii. 63.
The doves are censur'd, while the crows are spar'd.

Arietta seemed to regard this piece of raillery as an outrage done to her sex; as indeed I have always observed that women, whether out of a nicer regard to their honour, or what other reason, I cannot tell, are more sensibly touched with those general aspersions which are cast upon their sex, than men are by what is said of theirs.

When she had a little recovered herself from the serious anger she was in, she replied in the following manner.

'Sir, when I consider how perfectly new all you have said on this subject is, and that the story you have given us is not quite two thousand years old, I cannot but think it a piece of presumption to dispute it with you: but your quotations put me in mind of the fable of the lion and the man. The man walking with that noble animal, showed him, in the ostentation of human superiority, a sign of a man killing a lion. Upon which, the lion said, very justly, "We lions are none of us painters, else we could show a hundred men killed by lions, for one lion killed by a man." You men are writers, and can represent us women as unbecoming as you please in your works, while we are unable to return the injury. You have twice or thrice observed in your discourse, that hypocrisy is the very foun

to dissemble our affections is a professed part of our breeding. These, and such other reflections, are sprinkled up and down the writings of all ages, by authors, who leave behind them memorials of their resentment against the scorn of particular women, in invectives against the whole sex. Such a writer, I doubt not, was the celebrated Petronius, who invented the pleasant aggravations of the frailty of the Ephesian lady; but when we consider this question between the sexes, which has

ARIETTA is visited by all persons of both sexes, who have any pretence to wit and gallantry. She is in that time of life which is neither affected with the follies of youth, or infirmities of age; and her conversa-dation of our education; and that an ability tion is so mixed with gaiety and prudence, that she is agreeable both to the old and the young. Her behaviour is very frank, without being in the least blameable; and as she is out of the track of any amorous or ambitious pursuits of her own, her visitors entertain her with accounts of themselves very freely, whether they concern their passions or their interests. I made her a visit this afternoon, having been formerly introduced to the honour of her acquaintance by my friend Will Honeycomb, who has prevailed upon her to admit me some-been either a point of dispute or raillery times into her assembly, as a civil inoffensive man. I found her accompanied with one person only, a common-place talker, who, upon my entrance, arose, and after a very slight civility sat down again; then, turning to Arietta, pursued his discourse, which I found was upon the old topic of constancy in love. He went on with great facility in repeating what he talks every day of his life; and with the ornaments of insignificant laughs and gestures, enforced his arguments by quotations out of plays and songs, which allude to the perjuries of the fair, and the general levity of women. Methought he strove to shine more than ordinarily in his talkative way, that he might insult my silence, and distinguish himself before a woman of Arietta's taste and understanding. She had often an inclination to interrupt him, but could find

ever since there were men and women, let us take facts from plain people, and from such as have not either ambition or capacity to embellish their narrations with any beauties of imagination. I was the other day amusing myself with Lignon's Account of Barbadoes; and in answer to your wellwrought tale, I will give you (as it dwells upon my memory) out of that honest traveller, in his fifty-fifth page, the history of Inkle and Yarico.

'Mr. Thomas Inkle, of London, aged twenty years, embarked in the Downs, in the good ship called the Achilles, bound for the West Indies, on the 16th of June, 1647, in order to improve his fortune by trade and merchandise. Our adventurer was the third son of an eminent citizen, who had taken particular care to instil into his mind an early love of gain, by making

him a perfect master of numbers, and consequently giving him a quick view of loss and advantage, and preventing the natural impulses of his passion, by prepossession towards his interests. With a mind thus turned, young Inkle had a person every way agreeable, a ruddy vigour in his countenance, strength in his limbs, with ringlets of fair hair loosely flowing on his shoulders. It happened in the course of the voyage, that the Achilles, in some distress, put into a creek on the main of America, in search of provisions. The youth who is the hero of my story, among others, went on shore on this occasion. From their first landing they were observed by a party of Indians, who hid themselves in the woods for that purpose. The English unadvisedly marched a great distance from the shore into the country, and were intercepted by the natives, who slew the greatest number of them. Our adventurer escaped among others, by flying into a forest. Upon his coming into a remote and pathless part of the wood, he threw himself, tired and breathless, on a little hillock, when an Indian maid rushed from a thicket behind him. After the first surprise they appeared mutually agreeable to each other. If the European was highly charmed with the limbs, features, and wild graces of the naked American; the American was no less taken with the dress, complexion and shape of an European, covered from head to foot. The Indian grew immediately enamoured of him, and consequently solicitous for his preservation. She therefore conveyed him to a cave, where she gave him a delicious repast of fruits, and led him to a stream to slake his thirst. In the midst of these good offices, she would sometimes play with his hair, and delight in the opposition of its colour to that of her

clothed in such silks as his waistcoat was made of, and be carried in houses drawn by horses, without being exposed to wind or weather. All this he promised her the enjoyment of, without such fears and alarms as they were there tormented with. In this tender correspondence these lovers lived for several months, when Yarico, instructed by her lover, discovered a vessel on the coast, to which she made signals; and in the night, with the utmost joy and satisfaction, accompanied him to a ship's crew of his countrymen, bound for Barbadoes. When a vessel from the main arrives in that island, it seems the planters come down to the shore, where there is an immediate market of the Indians and other slaves, as with us of horses and oxen.

To be short, Mr. Thomas Inkle now coming into English territories, began seriously to reflect upon his loss of time, and to weigh with himself how many days' interest of his money he had lost during his stay with Yarico. This thought made the young man pensive, and careful what account he should be able to give his friends of his voyage. Upon which consideration, the prudent and frugal young man sold Yarico to a Barbadian merchant; notwithstanding the poor girl, to incline him to commiserate her condition, told him that she was with child by him: but he only made use of that information, to rise in his demands upon the purchaser.'

I was so touched with this story (which I think should be always a counterpart to the Ephesian matron) that I left the room with tears in my eyes, which a woman of Arietta's good sense did, I am sure, take for greater applause than any compliments I could make her.

-Veteres avias tibi de pulmone revello.
Pers. Sat. v. 92.
I root th' old woman from thy trembling heart.

fingers: then open his bosom, then laugh No. 12.] Wednesday, March 14, 1710-11. at him for covering it. She was, it seems, a person of distinction, for she every day came to him in a different dress, of the most beautiful shells, bugles, and beads. She likewise brought him a great many AT my coming to London, it was some spoils which her other lovers had present-time before I could settle myself in a house ed to her, so that his cave was richly to my liking. I was forced to quit my first adorned with all the spotted skins of lodgings by reason of an officious landlady, beasts, and most party-coloured feathers that would be asking me every morning of fowls, which that world afforded. To how I had slept. I then fell into an honest make his confinement more tolerable, she family, and lived very happily for above a would carry him in the dusk of the eve- week; when my landlord, who was a jolly, ning, or by the favour of moonlight, to un- good-natured man, took it into his head frequented groves and solitudes, and show that I wanted company, and therefore him where to lie down in safety, and sleep would frequently come into my chamber, amidst the falls of waters and melody of to keep me from being alone. This I bore nightingales. Her part was to watch and for two or three days; but telling me one hold him awake in her arms, for fear of day that he was afraid I was melancholy, her countrymen, and wake him on occa-I thought it was high time for me to be sions to consult his safety. In this manner did the lovers pass away their time till they had learned a language of their own, in which the voyager communicated to his mistress how happy he should be to have her in his country, where she should be

gone, and accordingly took new lodgings that very night. About a week after, I found my jolly landlord, who, as I said before, was an honest, hearty man, had put me into an advertisement in the Daily Courant, in the following words: 'Where

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