'Numbers are so much the measure of every thing that is valuable, that it is not possible to demonstrate the success of any

diligent in hearing Sir Roger, and had a reproach. For a man to be mistaken in mind to turn the discourse, by taking notice the calculation of his expense, in his ability in general, from the highest to the lowest to answer future demands, or to be imperparts of human society, there was a secret, tinently sanguine in putting his credit to though unjust, way among men, of indulging too great adventure, are all instances of as the seeds of ill-nature and envy, by com- much infamy, as with gayer nations to be paring their own state of life to that of an- failing in courage, or common honesty. other, and grudging the approach of their neighbour to their own happiness; and on the other side, he, who is the less at his ease, repines at the other, who he thinks has un-action, or the prudence of any undertakjustly the advantage over him. Thus the civil and military lists look upon each other with much ill-nature; the soldier repines at the courtier's power, and the courtier rallies the soldier's honour; or, to come to lower instances, the private men in the horse and foot of an army, the carmen and coachmen in the city streets, mutually look upon each other with ill-will, when they are in competition for quarters, or the way in their respective motions.

ing, without them. I say this in answer to what Sir Roger is pleased to say, “that little that is truly noble can be expected from one who is ever poring on his cashbook, or balancing his accounts." When I have my returns from abroad, I can tell to a shilling, by the help of numbers, the profit or loss by my adventure; but I ought also to be able to show that I had reason for making it, either from my own experience or that of other people, or from a reasonIt is very well, good captain,' inter- able presumption that my returns will be rupted Sir Andrew: you may attempt to sufficient to answer my expense and hazard; turn the discourse if you think fit; but I and this is never to be done without the must however have a word or two with Sir skill of numbers. For instance, if I am to Roger, who, I see, thinks he has paid me trade to Turkey, I ought beforehand to off, and been very severe upon the mer- know the demand of our manufactures chant. I shall not,' continued he, at this there, as well as of their silks in England, time remind Sir Roger of the great and and the customary prices that are given noble monuments of charity and public for both in each country. I ought to have spirit, which have been erected by mer- a clear knowledge of these matters beforechants since the reformation, but at present hand, that I may presume upon sufficient content myself with what he allows us, par- returns to answer the charge of the cargo simony and frugality. If it were consistent I have fitted out, the freight and assurance with the quality of so ancient a baronet as out and home, the customs to the queen, Sir Roger, to keep an account, or measure and the interest of my own money, and bethings by the most infallible way, that of sides all these expenses a reasonable profit numbers, he would prefer our parsimony to myself. Now what is there of scandal in to his hospitality. If to drink so many this skill? What has the merchant done, hogsheads is to be hospitable, we do not that he should be so little in the good graces contend for the fame of that virtue; but it of Sir Roger? He throws down no man's would be worth while to consider, whether inclosures, and tramples upon no man's so many artificers at work ten days together corn; he takes nothing from the industrious by my appointment, or so many peasants labourer; he pays the poor man for his made merry on Sir Roger's charge, are the work; he communicates his profit with men more obliged? I believe the families mankind; by the preparation of his cargo, of the artificers will thank me more than and the manufacture of his returns, he the household of the peasants shall Sir furnishes employment and subsistence to Roger. Sir Roger gives to his men, but I greater numbers than the richest nobleplace mine above the necessity or obliga- man; and even the nobleman is obliged to tion of my bounty. I am in very little pain him for finding out foreign markets for the for the Roman proverb upon the Carthagi-produce of his estate, and for making a nian traders; the Romans were their pro- great addition to his rents: and yet it is cerfessed enemies: I am only sorry no Cartha-tain that none of all these things could be ginian histories have come to our hands: done by him without the exercise of his we might have been taught perhaps by skill in numbers. them some proverbs against the Roman This is the economy of the merchant, generosity, in fighting for, and bestowing and the conduct of the gentleman must be other people's goods. But since Sir Roger the same, unless by scorning to be the has taken occasion, from an old proverb, steward, he resolves the steward shall be to be out of humour with merchants, it the gentleman. The gentleman, no more should be no offence to offer one not quite than the merchant, is able, without the so old, in their defence. When a man hap- help of numbers, to account for the success pens to break in Holland, they say of him of any action, or the prudence of any adthat "he has not kept true accounts." This venture. If, for instance, the chase is his phrase, perhaps, among us, would appear whole adventure, his only returns must be a soft or humourous way of speaking, but the stag's horns in the great hall, and the with that exact nation it bears the highest | fox's nose upon the stable door. Without

doubt Sir Roger knows the full value of these returns: and if beforehand he had computed the charges of the chase, a gentleman of his discretion would certainly have hanged up all his dogs: he would never have brought back so many fine horses to the kennel; he would never have gone so often, like a blast, over fields of corn. If such too had been the conduct of all his ancestors, he might truly have boasted at this day, that the antiquity of his family had never been sullied by a trade; a merchant had never been permitted with his whole estate to purchase a room for his picture in the gallery of the Coverleys, or to claim his descent from the maid of honour. But it is very happy for Sir Roger that the merchant paid so dear for his ambition. It is the misfortune of many other gentlemen to turn out of the seats of their ancestors, to make way for such new masters as have been more exact in their accounts than themselves; and certainly he deserves the estate a great deal better who has got it by his industry, than he who has lost it by his negligence.

T.

No. 175.] Thursday, September 20, 1711.
Proximus a tectis ignis defenditur ægre.--
Ovid. Rem. Am. v. 625.
To save your house from neighb'ring fire is hard.
Tate.

number of her gazers lessened, resolved not to part with me so, and began to play so many new tricks at her window, that it was impossible for me to forbear observing her. I verily believe she put herself to the expense of a new wax baby on purpose to plague me; she used to dandle and play with this figure as impertinently as if it had been a real child: sometimes she would let fall a glove or a pin-cushion in the street, and shut or open her casement three or four times in a minute. When I had almost weaned myself from this, she came in shift-sleeves, and dressed at the window. I had no way left but to let down my curtains, which I submitted to, though it considerably darkened my room, and was pleased to think that I had at last got the better of her; but was surprised the next morning to hear her talking out of her window quite across the street, with another woman that lodges over me. I am since informed that she made her a visit, and got acquainted with her within three hours after the fall of my window-curtains

'Sir, I am plagued every moment in the day, one way or other, in my own chambers; and the Jezebel has the satisfaction to know, that though I am not looking at her, I am listening to her impertinent dialogues, that pass over my head. I would immediately change my lodgings, but that I think it might look like a plain confession that I am conquered; and besides this, I am told that most quarters of the town are infested with these creatures. If they are so, I am sure it is such an abuse as a lover of learn

I SHALL this day entertain my readers with two or three letters I have received from my correspondents: the first discovers to me a species of females which have hitherto escaped my notice, and is as fol-ing and silence ought to take notice of. lows:

'MR. SPECTATOR,-I am a young gentleman of a competent fortune, and a sufficient taste of learning, to spend five or six hours every day very agreeably among my books. That I might have nothing to divert me from my studies, and to avoid the noise of coaches and chairmen, I have taken lodgings in a very narrow street, not far from Whitehall; but it is my misfortune to be so posted, that my lodgings are directly opposite to those of a Jezebel. You are to know, sir, that a Jezebel (so called by the neighbourhood from displaying her pernicious charms at her window,) appears constantly dressed at her sash, and has a thousand little tricks and fooleries to attract the eyes of all the idle young fellows in the neighbourhood. I have seen more than six persons at once from their several windows observing the Jezebel I am now complaining of. I at first looked on her myself with the highest contempt, could divert myself with her airs for half an hour, and afterwards take up my Plutarch with great tranquillity of mind; but was a little vexed to find that in less than a month she had considerably stolen upon my time, so that I resolved to look at her no more. But the Jezebel, who, as I suppose, might think it a diminution to her honour, to have the

'I am, sir, yours, &c.'

that my young student is touched with a I am afraid, by some lines in this letter, of, and is too far gone in it to receive addistemper which he hardly seems to dream vice. However, I shall animadvert in due time on the abuse which he mentions, having myself observed a nest of Jezebels near the Temple, who make it their diversion that at the same time they may see them to draw up the eyes of young Templars; stumble in an unlucky gutter which runs under the window.

'MR. SPECTATOR,-I have lately read the conclusion of your forty-seventh speculation upon butts with great pleasure, and have ever since been thoroughly persuaded that one of those gentlemen is extremely necessary to enliven conversation. I had an entertainment last week upon the water, for a lady to whom I make my addresses, with several of our friends of both sexes. To divert the company in general, and to show my mistress in particular my genius for raillery, I took one of the most celebrated butts in town along with me. It is with the utmost shame and confusion that I must acquaint you with the sequel of my adventure. As soon as we were got into the boat, I played a sentence or two at my

butt which I thought very smart, when my | London milliner, I am not able to inform ill genius, who I verily believe inspired you; but among the rest, there was one him purely for my destruction, suggested cherry-coloured riband, consisting of about to him such a reply, as got all the laughter half a dozen yards, made up in the figure on his side. I was dashed at so unexpected of a small head-dress. The aforesaid lady a turn; which the butt perceiving, resolved had the assurance to affirm amidst a circle not to let me recover myself, and pursuing of female inquisitors, who were present at his victory, rallied and tossed me in a most the opening of the box, that this was the unmerciful and barbarous manner until we newest fashion worn at court. Accordingly came to Chelsea. I had some small success the next Sunday, we had several females, while we were eating cheese-cakes; but who came to church with their heads coming home, he renewed his attacks with dressed wholly in ribands, and looked like his former good fortune, and equal diver- so many victims ready to be sacrificed. sion to the whole company. In short, sir, This is still a reigning mode among us. I must ingenuously own that I never was At the same time we have a set of gentleso handled in all my life: and to complete men who take the liberty to appear in all my misfortune, I am since told that the public places without any buttons to their butt, flushed with his late victory, has coats, which they supply with several little made a visit or two to the dear object of silver hasps, though our freshest advices my wishes, so that I am at once in danger from London make no mention of any such of losing all my pretensions to wit, and fashion; and we are something shy of afmy mistress into the bargain. This, sir, fording matter to the button-makers for a is a true account of my present troubles, second petition. which you are the more obliged to assist "What I would humbly propose to the me in, as you were yourself in a great public is, that there may be a society measure the cause of them, by recom-erected in London, to consist of the most mending to us an instrument, and not instructing us at the same time how to play upon it.

I have been thinking whether it might not be highly convenient, that all butts should wear an inscription affixed to some part of their bodies, showing on which side they are to be come at, and that if any of them are persons of unequal tempers, there should be some method taken to inform the world at what time it is safe to attack them, and when you had best let them alone. But, submitting these matters to your more serious consideration, I am, sir, yours, &c.'

I have indeed, seen and heard of several young gentlemen under the same misfortune with my present correspondent. The best rule I can lay down for them to avoid the like calamities for the future, is thoroughly to consider, not only "Whether their companions are weak," but "Whether themselves are wits.

The following letter comes to me from Exeter, and being credibly informed that what it contains is matter of fact, I shall give it my reader as it was sent to me.

skilful persons of both sexes, for the inspection of modes and fashions; and that hereafter no person or persons shall presume to appear singularly habited in any part of the country, without a testimonial from the aforesaid society, that their dress is answerable to the mode at London. By this means, sir, we shall know a little whereabout we are.

'If you could bring this matter to bear, you would very much oblige great numbers of your country friends, and among the rest, your very humble servant. X

'JACK MODISH.'

No. 176.] Friday, September 21, 1711.
Parvula, pumilio, xagitav μia, tota merum sal.
Lucr. iv. 1155.

A little, pretty, witty, charming she!
THERE are in the following letter, mat-
ters, which I, a bachelor, cannot be sup-.
posed to be acquainted with: therefore
shall not pretend to explain upon it until
farther consideration, but leave the author
of the epistle to express his condition his
own way.

'MR. SPECTATOR,-I do not deny but you appear in many of your papers to understand human life pretty well; but there are very many things which you cannot possibly have a true notion of, in a single life; these are such as respect the married state; otherwise I cannot account for your

'Exeter, Sept. 7. 'MR. SPECTATOR,-You were pleased in a late speculation to take notice of the inconvenience we lie under in the country, in not being able to keep pace with the fashion. But there is another misfortune which we are subject to, and is no less grievous than the former, which has hitherto escaped your observation. I mean the having things palmed upon us for Lon-having overlooked a very good sort of peodon fashions, which were never once heard of there.

A lady of this place had some time since a box of the newest ribands sent down by the coach. Whether it was her own malicious invention, or the wantonness of a

ple, which are commonly called in scorn "the Hen-peckt. You are to understand that I am one of those innocent mortals who suffer derision under that word, for being governed by the best of wives. It would be worth your consideration to enter

into the nature of affection itself, and tell | pretty." To this she answers, "All the us according to your philosophy, why it is world but you think I have as much sense that our dears should do what they will as yourself." I repeat to her, "Indeed you with us, shall be froward, ill-natured, as- are pretty. Upon this there is no pasuming, sometimes whine, at others, rail, tience; she will throw down any thing then swoon away, then come to life, have about her, stamp, and pull off her headthe use of speech to the greatest fluency clothes. "Fy, my dear,” say I, “how imaginable, and then sink away again, and can a woman of your sense fall into such an all because they fear we do not love them intemperate rage?" This is an argument enough; that is, the poor things love us so that never fails. "Indeed, my dear," says heartily, that they cannot think it possible she, "you make me mad sometimes, so we should be able to love them in so great you do, with the silly way you have of a degree, which makes them take on so. treating me like a pretty idiot." Well, I say, sir, a true good-natured man, whom what have I got by putting her into good rakes and libertines call hen-peckt, shall humour? Nothing, but that I must convince fall into all these different moods with his her of my good opinion by my practice; dear life, and at the same time see they are and then I am to give her possession of my wholly put on; and yet not be hard-hearted little ready-money, and, for a day and a enough to tell the dear good creature that half following, dislike all she dislikes, and she is an hypocrite. extol every thing she approves. I am so exquisitely fond of this darling, that I seldom see any of my friends, am uneasy in all companies until I see her again; and when

'This sort of good men is very frequent in the populous and wealthy city of London, and is the true hen-peckt man. The kind creature cannot break through his kind-I come home she is in the dumps, because nesses so far as to come to an explanation with the tender soul, and therefore goes on to comfort her when nothing ails her, to appease her when she is not angry, and to give her his cash when he knows she does not want it; rather than be uneasy for a whole month, which is computed by hardhearted men the space of time which a froward woman takes to come to herself, if you have courage to stand out.

There are indeed several other species of the hen-peckt, and in my opinion they are certainly the best subjects the queen has; and for that reason I take it to be your duty to keep us above contempt.

I do not know whether I make myself understood in the representation of a henpeckt life, but I shall take leave to give you an account of myself, and my own spouse. You are to know that I am reckoned no fool, have on several occasions been tried whether I will take ill-usage, and the event has been to my advantage; and yet there is not such a slave in Turkey as I am to my dear. She has a good share of wit, and is what you call a very pretty agreeable woman. I perfectly doat on her, and my affection to her gives me all the anxieties imaginable but that of jealousy. My being thus confident of her, I take, as much as I can judge of my heart, to be the reason, that whatever she does, though it be never so much against my inclination, there is still left something in her manner that is amiable. She will sometimes look at me with an assumed grandeur, and pretend to resent that I have not had respect enough for her opinion in such an instance in company. I cannot but smile at the pretty anger she is in, and then she pretends she is used like a child. In a word, our great debate is, which has the superiority in point of understanding. She is eternally forming an argument of debate; to which I very indolently answer, "Thou art mighty

she says she is sure I came so soon only because I think her handsome. I dare not upon this occasion laugh: but though I am one of the warmest churchmen in the kingdom, I am forced to rail at the times, because she is a violent Whig. Upon this we talk politics so long, that she is convinced I kiss her for her wisdom. It is a common practice with me to ask her some question concerning the constitution, which she answers me in general out of Harrington's Oceana. Then I commend her strange memory, and her arm is immediately locked in mine. While I keep her in this temper she plays before me, sometimes dancing in the midst of the room, sometimes striking an air at her spinet, varying her posture and her charms in such a manner that I am in continual pleasure. She will play the fool if I allow her to be wise! but if she suspects I like her for her trifling, she immediately grows grave.

'These are the toils in which I am taken, and I carry off my servitude as well as most men; but my application to you is in behalf of the hen-peckt in general, and I desire a dissertation from you in defence of us. You have, as I am informed, very good authorities in our favour, and hope you will not omit the mention of the renowned Socrates, and his philosophic resignation to his wife Xantippe. This would be a very good office to the world in general, for the henpeckt are powerful in their quality and numbers, not only in cities, but in courts; in the latter they are ever the most obsequious, in the former the most wealthy of all men. When you have considered wedlock thoroughly, you ought to enter into the suburbs of matrimony, and give us an account of the thraldom of kind keepers and irresolute lovers; the keepers who cannot quit their fair ones, though they see their approaching ruin; the lovers who dare not marry, though they know they never

shall be happy without the mistresses whom | makes no distinction between its objects, if they cannot purchase on other terms.