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No. 171.] Saturday, September 15, 1711. Credula res amor est.————— Ovid, Met. vii. 826. Love is a credulous passion.

HAVING in my yesterday's paper discovered the nature of jealousy, and pointed out the persons who are most subject to it, I must here apply myself to my fair correspondents, who desire to live well with a jealous husband, and to ease his mind of its unjust suspicions.

The first rule I shall propose to be observed is, that you never seem to dislike in another what the jealous man is himself guilty of, or to admire any thing in which he himself does not excel. A jealous man is very quick in his applications; he knows how to find a double edge in an invective, and to draw a satire on himself out of a panegyric on another. He does not trouble himself to consider the person, but to direct the character; and is secretly pleased or confounded, as he finds more or less of himself in it. The commendation of any thing in another stirs up his jealousy, as it shows you have a value for others besides himself; but the commendation of that, which he himself wants, inflames him more, as it shows that, in some respects, you prefer others before him. Jealousy is admirably described in this view by Horace in his ode to Lydia:

Quum tu, Lydia, Telephi

Cervicem roseam, et cerea Telephi

Laudas brachia, væ meum

Fervens difficili bile tumet jecur;
Tunc nec mens mihi, nec color

Certa sede manet; humor et in genas
Furtim labitur, arguens

Quam lentis penitus macerer ignibus.
Lib. 1. Od. xiii. 1.

When Telephus his youthful charms, His rosy neck and winding arms, With endless rapture you recite, And in the pleasing name delight; My heart, inflamed by jealous heats, With numberless resentments beats; From my pale cheek the colour flies, And all the man within me dies; By turns my hidden grief appears In rising sighs and falling tears, That show too well the warm desires, The silent, slow, consuming fires, Which on my inmost vitals prey, And melt my very soul away. The jealous man is not indeed angry if you dislike another; but if you find those faults, which are to be found in his own character, you discover not only your dislike of another, but of himself. In short, he is so desirous of ingrossing all your love, that he is grieved at the want of any charm which he believes has power to raise it: and

if he finds by your censures on others, that he is not so agreeable in your opinion as he might be, he naturally concludes you could love him better if he had other qualifications, and that by consequence your affection does not rise so high as he thinks it ought. If therefore his temper be grave or sullen, you must not be too much pleased with a jest, or transported with any thing that is gay or diverting. If his beauty be none of the best, you must be a professed admirer of prudence, or any other quality he is master of, or at least vain enough to think he is.

In the next place, you must be sure to be free and open in your conversation with him, and to let in light upon your actions, to unravel all your designs, and discover every secret, however trifling or indifferent. A jealous husband has a particular aversion to winks and whispers, and if he does not see to the bottom of every thing, will be sure to go beyond it in his fears and suspicions. He will always expect to be your chief confident, and where he finds himself kept out of a secret, will believe there is more in it than there should be. And here it is of great concern, that you preserve the character of your sincerity uniform and of a piece; for if he once finds a false gloss put upon any single action, he quickly suspects all the rest: his working imagination immediately take a false hint, and runs off with it into several remote consequences, till he has proved very ingenious in working out his own misery.

If both these methods fail, the best way will be to let him see you are much cast down and afflicted for the ill opinion he entertains of you, and the disquietudes he himself suffers for your sake. There are many who take a kind of barbarous pleasure in the jealousy of those who love them, that insult over an aching heart, and triumph in their charms which are able to excite so much uneasiness:

Ardent ipsa licet, tormentis gaudet amantis. Juv. Sat. vi. 208. Though equal pains her peace of mind destroy, A lover's torments give her spiteful joy. But these often carry the humour so far, till their affected coldness and indifference quite kills all the fondness of a lover, and are then sure to meet in their turn with all the contempt and scorn that is due to so insolent a behaviour. On the contrary, it is very probable a melancholy, dejected carriage, the usual effects of injured innocence, may soften the jealous husband into pity, make him sensible of the wrong he does you, and work out of his mind all those fears and suspicions that make you both unhappy. At least it will have this good effect, that he will keep his jealousy to himself, and repine in private, either because he is sensible it is a weakness, and will therefore hide it from your knowledge, or because he will be apt to fear some ill effect

No. 171.]

THE SPECTATOR.

it may produce in cooling your love towards him, or diverting it to another.

There is still another secret that can never fail, if you can once get it believed, and which is often practised by women of greater cunning than virtue. This is to change sides for a while with the jealous man, and to turn his own passion upon himself; to take some occasion of growing jealous of him, and to follow the example he himself hath set you. This counterfeit jealousy will bring him a great deal of pleasure, if he thinks it real; for he knows experimentally how much love goes along with this passion, and will besides feel something like the satisfaction of revenge, in seeing you undergo all his own tortures. But this, indeed, is an artifice so difficult, and at the same time so disingenuous, that it ought never to be put in practice but by such as have skill enough to cover the deceit, and innocence to render it excusable.

I shall conclude this essay with the story of Herod and Mariamne, as I have collected it out of Josephus;* which may serve almost as an example to whatever can be said on this subject.

all in flames for his Mariamne; but before
their meeting, he was not a little alarmed
at the report he had heard of his uncle's
conversation and familiarity with her in his
absence. This therefore was the first dis-
course he entertained her with, in which
she found it no easy matter to quiet his
suspicions. But at last he appeared so well
satisfied of her innocence, that from re-
proaches and wranglings he fell to tears
and embraces. Both of them wept very
tenderly at their reconciliation, and Herod
poured out his whole soul to her in the
warmest protestations of love and constancy;
when amidst all his sighs and languishings
she asked him, Whether the private orders
he left with his uncle Joseph were an in-
stance of such an inflamed affection? The
jealous king was immediately roused at so
unexpected a question, and concluded his
uncle must have been too familiar with her,
before he could have discovered such a
secret. In short, he put his uncle to death,
and very difficultly prevailed upon himself
to spare Mariamne.

[graphic]

Herod was at length acquitted and dismissed by Mark Antony, when his soul was

Antiquities of the Jews, book xv. chap. 3. sect. 5, 6, 9; chap. 7. sect. 1, 2, &c.

tress's aversion to the king arose from some-
thing Sohemus had told her; but as for any
design of poisoning, he utterly disowned
the least knowledge of it. This confession
quickly proved fatal to Sohemus, who now
lay under the same suspicions and sentence
that Joseph had before him, on the like
occasion. Nor would Herod rest here; but

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accused her with great vehemence of a de- | shape, or goodness of his understanding. I sign upon his life, and, by his authority with say the goodness of his understanding, for the judges, had her publicly condemned and executed. Herod soon after her death grew melancholy and dejected, retiring from the public administration of affairs into a solitary forest, and there abandoning himself to all the black considerations, which naturally arise from a passion made up of love, remorse, pity, and despair. He used to rave for his Mariamne, and to call upon her in his distracted fits; and in all probability would soon have followed her, had not his thoughts been seasonably called off from so sad an object by public storms, which at that time very nearly threatened

him.

L.

No. 172.] Monday, September 17, 1711. Non solum scientia, quæ est remota a justitia, calliditas potius quam sapientia est appellanda; verum etiam animus paratus ad periculum, si sua cupiditate, non utilitate communi, impellitur, audaciae potius nomen habeat, quam fortitudinis

Plato apud Tull.

As knowledge, without justice, ought to be called cunning, rather than wisdom; so a mind prepared to meet danger, if excited by its own eagerness, and not the public good, deserves the name of audacity, rather than that of fortitude.

THERE can be no greater injury to human society than that good talents among men should be held honourable to those who are endowed with them, without any regard how they are applied. The gifts of nature and accomplishments of art are valuable but as they are exerted in the interests of virtue, or governed by the rules of honour. We ought to abstract our minds from the observation of any excellence in those we converse with, till we have taken some notice or received some good information of the disposition of their minds; otherwise the beauty of their persons, or the charms of their wit, may make us fond of those whom our reason and judgment will tell us we ought to abhor.

When we suffer ourselves to be thus carried away by mere beauty, or mere wit, Omniamante, with all her vice, will bear away as much of our good-will as the most innocent virgin, or discreet matron; and there cannot be a more abject slavery in this world, than to dote upon what we think we ought to condemn. Yet this must be our condition in all the parts of life, if we suffer ourselves to approve any thing but what tends to the promotion of what is good and honourable. If we would take true pains with ourselves to consider all things by the light of reason and justice, though a man were in the height of youth and amorous inclinations, he would look upon a coquette with the same contempt, or indifference, as he would upon a coxcomb. The wanton carriage in a woman would disappoint her of the admiration which she aims at; and the vain dress or discourse of a man would destroy the comeliness of his

it is no less common to see men of sense commence coxcombs, than beautiful women become immodest. When this happens in either, the favour we are naturally inclined to give to the good qualities they have from nature should abate in proportion. But however just it is to measure the value of men by the application of their talents, and not by the eminence of those qualities, abstracted from their use: I say, however just such a way of judging is, in all ages as well as this, the contrary has prevailed upon the generality of mankind. How many lewd devices have been preserved from one age to another, which had perished as soon as they were made, if painters and sculptors had been esteemed as much for the purpose, as the execution of their designs? Modest and well-governed imaginations have by this means lost the representation of ten thousand charming portraitures, filled with images of innate truth, generous zeal, courageous faith, and tender humanity; instead of which, satyrs, furies, and monsters, are recommended by those arts to a shameful eternity.

The unjust application of laudable talents is tolerated in the general opinion of men, not only in such cases as are here mentioned, but also in matters which concern ordinary life. If a lawyer were to be esteemed only as he uses his parts in contending for justice, and were immediately despicable when he appeared in a cause which he could not but know was an unjust one, how honourable would his character be? And how honourable is it in such among us, who follow the profession no otherwise, than as labouring to protect the injured, to subdue the oppressor, to imprison the careless debtor, and do right to the painful artificer? But many of this excellent character are overlooked by the greater number; who affect covering a weak place in a client's title, diverting the course of an inquiry, or finding a skilful refuge to palliate à falsehood; yet it is still called eloquence in the latter, though thus unjustly employed: but resolution in an assassin is according to reason quite as laudable as knowledge and wisdom exercised in the defence of an ill cause.

Were the intention steadfastly considered, as the measure of approbation, all falsehood would soon be out of countenance; and an address in imposing upon mankind, would be as contemptible in one state of life as another. A couple of courtiers making professions of esteem, would make the same figure after breach of promise, as two knights of the post convicted of perjury. But conversation is fallen so low in point of morality, that, as they say in a bargain, let the buyer look to it;' so in friendship he is the man in danger who is most apt to believe. He is the more likely to suffer in the commerce, who begins with the

obligation of being the more ready to enter into it.

a plate of six guineas' value, three heats, by any horse, mare, or gelding, that hath But those men only are truly great, who not won above the value of 57. the winning place their ambition rather in acquiring to horse to be sold for 10l. to carry 10 stone themselves the conscience of worthy enter-weight, if 14 hands high; if above or under prises, than in the prospect of glory which to carry or be allowed weight for inches, attends them. These exalted spirits would and to be entered Friday the 15th, at the rather be secretly the authors of events Swan in Coleshill, before six in the evenwhich are serviceable to mankind, than, ing. Also a plate of less value to be run for The same day a gold ring to be without being such, to have the public fame by asses. of it. Where, therefore, an eminent merit grinned for by men. is robbed by artifice or detraction, it does but increase by such endeavours of its enemies. The impotent pains which are taken to sully it, or diffuse it among a crowd to the injury of a single person, will naturally produce the contrary effect; the fire will blaze out, and burn up all that attempt to smother what they cannot extinguish.

The first of these diversions that is to be exhibited by the 10. race-horses may probably have its use; but the two last, in which the asses and men are concerned, seem to me altogether extraordinary and unaccountable. Why they should keep running asses at Coleshill, or how making mouths turn to account in Warwickshire, There is but one thing necessary to keep more than in any other parts of England, Í the possession of true glory, which is, to cannot comprehend. I have looked over hear the opposers of it with patience, and all the Olympic games, and do not find any preserve the virtue by which it was ac- thing in them like an ass-race, or a match quired. When a man is thoroughly per- at grinning. However it be, I am informed suaded that he ought neither to admire, that several asses are now kept in bodywish for, or pursue any thing but what is clothes, and sweated every morning upon exactly his duty, it is not in the power of the heath; and that all the country-fellows seasons, persons, or accidents, to diminish within ten miles of the Swan, grin an hour his value. He only is a great man who can or two in their glasses every morning, in neglect the applause of the multitude, and order to qualify themselves for the 9th of enjoy himself independent of its favour. October. The prize which is proposed to This is indeed an arduous task: but it should be grinned for, has raised such an ambition comfort a glorious spirit that it is the highest among the common people of out-grinning step to which human nature can arrive. one another, that many very discerning Triumph, applause, acclamation, are dear persons are afraid it should spoil most of to the mind of man; but it is still a more the faces in the county; and that a Warexquisite delight to say to yourself, you wickshire man will be known by his grin, have done well, than to hear the whole hu- as Roman Catholics imagine a Kentish man man race pronounce you glorious, except is by his tail. The gold ring which is made you yourself can join with them in your own the prize of deformity, is just the reverse reflections. A mind thus equal and uni- of the golden apple that was formerly made form, may be deserted by little fashionable the prize of beauty, and should carry for admirers and followers, but will ever be its poesy the old motto inverted: had in reverence by souls like itself. The branches of the oak endure all the seasons of the year, though its leaves fall off in autumn; and these too will be restored with T. the returning spring.

'Detur tetriori.'

Or, to accommodate it to the capacity of the combatants,

The frightfull'st grinner
Be the winner.

In the meanwhile I would advise a Dutch No. 173.] Tuesday, September 18, 1711. painter to be present at this great contro

-Remove fera monstra, tuæque
Saxificos vultus, quæcunque ea, tolle Medusa.
Ovid, Met. v. 216.
Hence with those monstrous features, and, O! spare
That Gorgon's look, and petrifying stare.--P.

versy of faces, in order to make a collection of the most remarkable grins that shall be there exhibited.

I must not here omit an account which I lately received of one of these grinningIN a late paper I mentioned the project matches from a gentleman, who, upon of an ingenious author for the erecting of reading the above-mentioned advertiseseveral handicraft prizes to be contended ment, entertained a coffee-house with the for by our British artisans, and the influ- following narrative: Upon the taking of ence they might have towards the im- Namure, amidst other public rejoicings provement of our several manufactures. I have since that been very much surprised by the following advertisement, which I find in the Post-boy of the 11th instant, and again repeated in the Post-boy of the 15th. 'On the 9th of October next will be run for upon Coleshill-heath in Warwickshire,

made on that occasion, there was a gold ring given by a whig justice of peace to be grinned for. The first competitor that entered the lists, was a black swarthy Frenchman, who accidentally passed that way, and being a man naturally of a withered look, and hard features, promised himself

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good success. He was placed upon a table | sion. I would nevertheless leave to the In the great point of view, and looking upon consideration of those who are the patrons the company, like Milton's Death,

'Grinn'd horribly a ghastly smile

His muscles were so drawn together on each side of his face, that he showed twenty teeth at a grin, and put the country in some pain, lest a foreigner should carry away the honour of the day; but upon a further trial they found he was master only of the merry grin.

of this monstrous trial of skill, whether or no they are not guilty, in some measure, of an affront to their species, in treating after this manner the human face divine,' and ' turning that part of us, which has so great an image impressed upon it, into the image of a monkey; whether the raising such silly competitions among the ignorant, proposing prizes for such useless accomplishments, filling the common people's heads with such senseless ambitions, and inspiring them with such absurd ideas of superiority and pre-eminence, has not in it something immoral as well as ridiculous.

L.

The next that mounted the table was a malecontent in those days, and a great master in the whole art of grinning, but particularly excelled in the angry grin. He did his part so well, that he is said to have made half a dozen women miscarry; but the justice being apprized by one who stood No. 174.] Wednesday, September 19, 1711. near him, that the fellow who grinned in his face was a Jacobite, and being unwilling Hæc memini et victum frustra contendere Thyrsin. that a disaffected person should win the Virg. Ecl. vii. 69. gold ring, and be looked upon as the best The whole debate in mem'ry I retain, grinner in the country, he ordered the oaths When Thyrsis argued warmly, but in vain.-P. to be tendered unto him upon his quitting THERE is scarce any thing more comthe table, which the grinner refusing he mon than animosities between parties that was set aside as an unqualified person. cannot subsist but by their agreement: this There were several other grotesque figures was well represented in the sedition of the that presented themselves, which it would members of the human body in the old be too tedious to describe. I must not how-Roman fable.* It is often the case of lesser ever omit a ploughman who lived in the confederate states against a superior power, farther part of the country, and being very which are hardly held together, though lucky in a pair of long lantern-jaws, wrung their unanimity is necessary for their comhis face into such a hideous grimace, that every feature of it appeared under a different distortion. The whole company stood astonished at such a complicated grin, and were ready to assign the prize to him, had it not been proved by one of his antagonists, that he had practised with verjuice for some days before, and had a crab found upon him at the very time of grinning; upon which the best judges of grinning declared it as their opinion, that he was not to be looked upon as a fair grinner, and therefore or

dered him to be set aside as a cheat.

mon safety; and this is always the case of the landed and trading interests of Great Britain; the trader is fed by the product of the land, and the landed man cannot be clothed but by the skill of the trader: and yet those interests are ever jarring.

We had last winter an instance of this at our club, in Sir Roger de Coverley and Sir Andrew Freeport, between whom there is generally a constant, though friendly opposition of opinions. It happened that one of the company, in an historical discourse, was observing, that Carthaginian faith was The prize it seems at length fell upon a a proverbial phrase to intimate breach of cobbler, Giles Gorgon by name, who pro- leagues. Sir Roger said it could hardly be duced several new grins of his own inven- otherwise: that the Carthaginians were the tion, having been used to cut faces for many greatest traders in the world; and as gain years together over his last. At the very is the chief end of such a people, they never first grin he cast every human feature out of his countenance, at the second he became the face of a spout, at the third a baboon, at the fourth a head of a bass-viol, and at the fifth a pair of nut-crackers. The whole assembly wondered at his accomplishments, and bestowed the ring on him unanimously; but, what he esteemed more than all the rest, a country wench, whom he had wooed in vain for above five years before, was so charmed with his grins, and the applauses which he received on all sides, that she married him the week following, and to this day wears the prize upon her finger, the cobbler having made use of it as his wedding ring.

This paper might perhaps seem very impertinent, if it grew serious in the conclu

pursue any other: the means to it are never regarded; they will, if it comes easily, get money honestly; but if not, they will not scruple to attain it by fraud, or cozenage: and indeed, what is the whole business of the trader's account, but to overreach him who trusts to his memory? But were not that so, what can there great and noble be expected from him whose attention is ever fixed upon balancing his books, and watching over his expences? And at best let frugality and parsimony be the virtues of the merchant, how much is his punctual dealing below a gentleman's charity to the poor, or hospitality among his neighbours? Captain Sentry observed Sir Andrew very

* Livii Hist. Dec. 1. Lib. ii. cap. ii.

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