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great physiognomist in his time at Athens, not at all displeased with themselves upon who had'made strange discoveries of men's considerations which they had no choice in; tempers and inclinations by their outward so the discourse concerning Idols tended to appearances. Socrates's 'disciples, that lessen the value people put upon themthey might put this artist to the trial, car- selves from personal advantages and gifts ried him to their master, whom he had of nature. As to the latter species of mannever seen before, and did not know he kind, the beauties, whether male or female, was then in company with him. After a they are generally the most untractable short examination of his face, the physiog- people of all others. You are so excessively nomist pronounced him the most lewd, li- perplexed with the particularities in their bidinous, drunken old fellow that he had behaviour, that to be at ease, one would be ever met with in his whole life. Upon apt to wish there were no such creatures. which the disciples all burst out a-laugh- They expect so great allowances, and give ing, as thinking they had detected the so little to others, that they who have to do falsehood and vanity of his art. But So- with them find in the main, a man with a crates told them, that the principles of his better person than ordinary, and a beautiart might be very true, notwithstanding his ful woman, might be very happily changed present mistake; for that he himself was for such to whom nature has been less libenaturally inclined to those particular vices ral. The handsome fellow is usually so which the physiognomist had discovered much a gentleman, and the fine woman has in his countenance, but that he had con- something so becoming, that there is no quered the strong dispositions he was born enduring either of them. It has therefore with, by the dictates of philosophy. * been generally my choice to mix with
We are indeed told by an ancient author, tcheerful ugly creatures, rather than genthat Socrates very much resembled Silenus tlemen who are graceful enough to omit or in his face ; which we find to have been do what they please ; or beauties who have very rightly observed from the statues and charms enough to do and say what would busts of both, that are still extant; as well be disobliging in any but themselves. as on several antique seals and precious Diffidence and presumption, upon acstones, which are frequently enough to be count of our persons, are equally faults; met with in the cabinets of the curious. But and both arise from the want of knowing, however observations of this nature may or rather endeavouring to know ourselves, sometimes hold, a wise man should be par- and for what we ought to be valued or neticularly cautious how he gives credit to a glected. But indeed I did not imagine these man's outward appearance. It is an irre- little considerations and coquetries could parable injustice we are guilty of towards have the ill consequences as I find they one another, when we are prejudiced by have, by the following letters of my corresthe looks and features of those whom we do pondents ; where it seems beauty is thrown not know. How often do we conceive ha- into the account, in matters of sale, to those tred against a person of worth, or fancy a who receive no favour from the charmers, man to be proud or ill-natured by his aspect, whom we think we cannot esteem too
June 4. much when we are acquainted with his real "MR. SPECTATOR, -After I have assurcharacter? Dr. Moore, in his admirable ed you I am in every respect one of the System of Ethics, reckons this particular handsomest young girls about town, I need inclination to take a prejudice against a man be particular in nothing but the make of for his looks, among the smaller vices in my face, which has the misfortune to be morality, and, if I remember, gives it the exactly oval. This I take to proceed from name of a prosopolepsia. I
a temper that naturally inclines me both to speak and hear.
•With this account you may wonder No. 87.] Saturday, June 9, 1711.
how I can have the vanity to offer myself
as a candidate, which I now do, to a society
Virg. Ecl. ii. 17. where the Spectator and Hecatissa have Trust not too much to an enchanting face. been admitted with so much applause. I
Dryden. don't want to be put in mind how very deIt has been the purpose of several of my fective I am in every thing that is ugly: I speculations to bring people to an uncon- am too sensible of my own unworthiness in cerned behaviour with relation to their per- this particular, and therefore I only prosons, whether beautiful or defective.As pose myself as a foil to the club. the secrets of the Ugly Club were exposed •You see how honest I have been to conto the public, that men might see there fess all my imperfections, which is a great were some noble spirits in the age, who are deal to come from a woman, and what I
hope you will encourage with the favour of † Plat. Conviv.
your interest. I A Greek word, used in the New Testament, Rom. There can be no objection made on the respecter of persons." Here it signifies a prejudice certain I shall be in no danger of giving her ii. '11, and Eph. vi. 9: where it is said that “God is no side of the matchless Hecatissa, since it is against a person formed from his countenance, &c. too hastily.
the least occasion of jealousy : and then a
Nimium ne crede colori.
. Cicer. Tusc. Qu. 5. et De Fato.
joint-stool in the very lowest place at the idolaters; but that from the time of pubtable, is all the honour that is coveted by lishing this in your paper, the idols would *Your most humble and obedient servant, mix ratsbane only for their admirers, and
•ROSALINDA.' take more care of us who don't love them. •P. S. I have sacrificed my necklace to
• I am, sir, yours, put into the public lottery against the com
•T. T.' mon enemy. And last Saturday, about three o'clock in the afternoon, I began to patch indifferently on both sides of my No. 88.] Monday, June 11, 1711. face.'
Quid domini faciant, audent cum talia fures?
Virg. Ecl. ii. 16. MR. SPECTATOR, -Upon reading your
• What will not masters do when servants thus prelate dissertation concerning Idols, I cannot but complain to you that there are, in six
May 30, 1711. or seven places of this city, coffee-houses
"Mr. SPECTATOR, I have no small kept by persons of that sisterhood. These value for your endeavours to lay before the idols sit and receive all day long the adora- world what may escape their observation, tion of the youth within such and such dis- and yet highly conduces to their service. tricts. I know in particular, goods are not You have, I think, succeeded very well on entered as they ought to be at the custom- many subjects; and seem to have been conhouse, nor law-reports perused at the versant in very different scenes of life. But Temple, by reason of one beauty who de- in the considerations of mankind, as a Spectains the ycung merchants too long near tator, you should not omit circumstances 'Change, and another fair one who keeps which relate to the inferior part of the the students at her house when they should world, any more than those which concern be at study. It would be worth your while the greater. There is one thing in particuto see how the idolaters alternately offer lar which I wonder you have not touched incense to their idols, and what heart-burn- upon, and that is the general corruption of ings arise in those who wait for their turn manners in the servants of Great Britain, to receive kind aspects from those little I am a man that have travelled and seen thrones, which all the company, but these many nations, but have for seven years last lovers, call the bars. I saw a gentleman past resided constantly in London, or withturn as pale as ashes, because an idol turned in twenty miles of it. In this time I have the sugar in a tea-dish for his rival, and contracted a numerous acquaintance among carelessly called the boy to serve him, with the best sort of people, and have hardly a “Sirrah! why don't you give the gentle
of them happy in their servants. man the box to please himself?” Certain This is matter of great astonishment to it is, that a very hopeful young man was
foreigners, and all such as have visited taken with leads in his pockets below the foreign countries; especially since we canbridge, where he intended to drown him- not but observe, that there is no part of the self, because his idol would wash the dish world where servants have those privileges in which she had just drank tea, before she and advantages as in England. They have would let him use it.
no where else such plentiful diet, large I am, sir, a person past being amorous, wages, or indulgent liberty.
There is no and do not give this information out of envý place where they labour less, and yet where or jealousy, but I am a real sufferer by it. they are so little respectful, more wasteful, These lovers take any thing for tea and more negligent, or where they so frequentcoffee ; I saw one yesterday surfeit to make ly change their masters. To this I attrihis court, and all his rivals, at the same
bute, in a great measure, the frequent robtime, loud in the commendation of liquors beries and losses which we suffer on the that went against every body in the room high road and in our own houses. That that was not in love. While these young
indeed which gives me the present thought fellows resign their stomachs with their of this kind is, that a careless groom of hearts, and drink at the idol in this man- mine has spoiled me the prettiest pad in ner, we who come to do business, or talk the world, with only riding him ten miles; politics, are utterly poisoned. They have and I assure you, if I were to make a regisalso drams for those who are more enam ter of all the horses I have known thus oured than ordinary; and it is very common abused by negligence of servants, the numfor such as are too low in constitution to ber would mount a regiment. I wish you ogle the idol upon the strength of tea, to would give us your observations, that we fluster themselves with warmer liquors: may know how to treat these rogues, or thus all pretenders advance, as fast as they that we masters may enter into measures can, to a fever, or a diabetes. I must re- to reform them. Pray give us a speculation peat to you, that I do not look with an evil in general about servants, and you make eye upon the profit of the idols, or the di- me
Yours, versions of the lovers; what I hope from
*PHILO-BRITANNICUS. this remonstrance, is only that we plain •P. S. Pray do not omit the mention of people may not be served as if we were grooms in particular.'
This honest gentleman, who is so desirous that there were no such thing as rule and that I should write a satire upon grooms, distinction among us. has a great deal of reason for his resent The next place of resort, wherein the ment; and I know no evil which touches all servile world are let loose, is at the entrance mankind so much as this of the misbeha- of Hyde Park, while the gentry are at the viour of servants.
ring. Hither people bring their lackeys out The complaint of this letter runs wholly of state, and here it is that all they say at upon men-servants; and I can attribute the their tables, and act in their houses, is licentiousness which has at present pre- communicated to the whole town. There vailed among them, to nothing but what an are men of wit in all conditions of life; and hundred before me have ascribed it to, the mixing with these people at their diversions, custom of giving board-wages. This one I have heard coquettes and prudes as well instance of false economy is sufficient to de- rallied, and insolence and pride exposed bauch the whole nation of servants, and allowing for their want of education) with makes them as it were but for some part as much humour and good sense, as in the of their time in that quality. They are politest companies. It is a general observaeither attending in places where they meet tion, that all dependents run in some meaand run into clubs, or else if they wait at sure into the manners and behaviour of taverns, they eat after their masters, and those whom they serve. You shall frereserve their wages for other occasions. quently meet with lovers and men of inFrom hence it arises, that they are but in a trigue among the lackeys as well as at lower degree what their masters them- White's or in the side-boxes. I remember selves are; and usually affect an imitation some years ago an instance of this kind. A of their manners; and you have in liveries, footman to a captain of the guards used frebeaux, fops, and coxcombs, in as high per-quently, when his master was out of the fection as among people that keep equi- way, to carry on amours and make assignapages. It is a common humour among the tions in his master's clothes. The fellow retinue of people of quality, when they are had a very good person, and there are very in their revels, that is, when they are out many women that think no further than the of their master's sight, to assume in a hu- outside of a gentleman: besides which, he morous way the names and titles of those was almost as learned a man as the colonel whose liveries they wear. By which means himself: I say, thus qualified, the fellow characters and distinctions become so fa- could scrawl billet-doux so well, and furmiliar to them, that it is to this, among nish a conversation on the common topics, other causes, one may impute a certain in- that he had, as they call it, a great deal of solence among our servants, that they take good business on his hands. It happened no notice of any gentleman, though they one day, that coming down a tavern stairs know him ever so well, except he is an ac- in his master's fine guard-coat with a wellquaintance of their master's.
dressed woman masked, he met the colonel My obscurity and taciturnity leave me at coming up with other company; but with a liberty, without scandal, to dine, if I think ready assurance he quitted his lady, came fit, at a common ordinary, in the meanest up to him and said, "Sir, I know you have as well as the most sumptuous house of too much respect for yourself to cane me entertainment.-Falling in the other day at in this honourable habit. But you see there a victualling-house near the house of peers, is a lady in the case, and I hope on that I heard the maid come down and tell the score also you will put off your anger till I landlady at the bar, that my lord bishop have told you all another time.' After a swore he would throw her out at window, little pause the colonel cleared up his counif she did not bring up more mild beer, and tenance, and with an air of familiarity whisthat my lord duke would have a double pered his man apart, “Sirrah, bring the mug of purl. My surprise was increased, lady with you to ask pardon for you;' then in hearing loud and rustic voices speak and aloud, ‘Look to it, Will, I'll never forgive answer to each other upon the public affairs, you else.' The fellow went back to his by the names of the most illustrious of our mistress, and telling her, with a loud voice nobility; till of a sudden one came running and an oath, that was the honestest fellow in, and cried the house was rising. Down in the world, conveyed her to a hackneycame all the company together and away! coach. The alehouse was immediately filled with But the many irregularities committed by clamour, and scoring one mug to the mar- servants in the places above-mentioned, as quis of such a place, oil and vinegar to such well as in the theatres, of which masters an earl, three quarts to my new lord for are generally the occasions, are too various wetting his title, and so forth. It is a thing not to need being resumed on another occatoo notorious to mention the crowds of ser- sion. vants, and their insolence, near the courts of justice, and the stairs towards the su, No. 89.] Tuesday, June 12, 1711. preme assembly, where there is a universal mockery of all order, such riotous clamour -Petite hinc, juvenesque senesque and licentious confusion, that one would Cras hoc fiet. Idem cras
fict. Quid? quasi magnum
Finem animo certum, miserisque viatica canis think the whole nation lived in jest, and Nempe diem donas ? sed cum lux altera venil,
Jam cras hesternum consumpsimus; ecce aliud cras of two and twenty, and dodged with me
above thirty years. I have loved her till Vertentem sese frustra sectabere canthum.
she is grown as grey as a cat, and am with
Pers. Sat. 5. v. 64. much ado become the master of her perPers. From thee both old and young, with profit learn son, such as it is at present. She is however The bounds of good and evil to discern.
in my eye a very charming old woman. Corn. Unhappy he who does this work adjourn, We often lament that we did not marry And to to morrow would the search delay: His lazy morrow will be like to-day.
sooner, but she has nobody to blame for it Pers. But is one day of ease too much to borrow? but herself. You know very well that she
Corn. Yes, sure; for yesterday was once to-morrow. would never think of me whilst she had a That yesterday is gone, and nothing gaind; And all thy fruitless days will thus be drain'd:
tooth in her head. I have put the date of For thou hast more to-morrows yet to ask,
my passion, anno amoris trigesimo primo, And wilt be ever to begin thy task;
instead of a posy on my wedding ring. Í Who, like the hindmost chariot wheels, art curst, Still to be near, but ne'er to reach the first.–Dryden.
expect you should send me a congratulatory
letter, or, if you please, an epithalamium As my correspondents upon the subject upon this occasion. Mrs. Martha's and of love are very numerous, it is my design, yours eternally, SAM HOPEWELL.' if possible, to 'range them under several heads, and address myself to them at dif
In order to banish an evil out of the ferent times. The first branch of them, to world, that does not only produce great unwhose service I shall dedicate this paper, easiness to private persons, but has also a are those that have to do with women of very bad influence on the public, I shall dilatory tempers, who are for spinning out endeavour to show the folly of demurrage, the time of courtship to an immoderate from two or three reflections which I earnlength, without being able either to close estly recommend to the thoughts of my fair with their lovers, or to dismiss them. I readers. have many letters by me filled with com
First of all, I would have them seriously plaints against this sort of women. In one think on the shortness of their time. Life of them no less a man than a brother of the is not long enough for a coquette to play all coif tells me, that he began his suit vicesimo her tricks in. A timorous woman drops into nono Caroli secundi, before he had been a her grave before she has done deliberating, twelve-month at the Temple; that he pro- Were the age of man the same that it was secuted it for many years after he was called before the flood, a lady miglit sacrifice half to the bar; that at present he is a sergeant a century to a scruple, and be two or three at law; and notwithstanding he hoped that ages in demurring: Had she nine hundred matters would have been long since brought years good, she might hold out to the conto an issue, the fair one still demurs. -I version of the Jews before she thought fit am so well pleased with this gentleman's to be prevailed upon. But, alas! she ought phrase, that I shall distinguish this sect of to play her part in haste, when she con- women by the title of Demurrers. I find by siders that she is suddenly to quit the stage, another letter from one that calls himself and make room for others. Thyrsis, that his mistress has been demur In the second place, I would desire my ring above these seven years. But among female readers to consider, that as the term all my plaintiffs of this nature, I most pity of life is short, that of beauty is much the unfortunate Philander, a man of a con- shorter. The finest skin wrinkles in a few stant passion and plentiful fortune, who sets years, and loses the strength of its colourforth that the timorous and irresolute Syl- ings so soon, that we have scarce time to via has demurred till she is past child- admire it. I might embellish this subject bearing. Strephon appears by his letter to with roses and rainbows, and several other be a very choleric lover, and irrecoverably ingenious conceits, which I may possibly smitten with one that demurs out of self- reserve for another opportunity. interest. He tells me with great passion
There is a third consideration which I that she has bubbled him out of his youth; would likewise recommend to a demurrer, that she drilled him on to five and fifty, and and that is the great danger of her falling that he verily believes she will drop him in love when she is about threescore, if she in his old age, if she can find her account in cannot satisfy her doubts and scruples beanother. I shall conclude this narrative fore that time. There is a kind of latter with a letter from honest Sam Hopewell, a spring, that sometimes gets into the blood ? very pleasant fellow, who it seems has at of an old woman, and turns her into a very last married a demurrer. I must only pre- odd sort of an animal. I would therefore mise, that Sam, who is a very good bottle- have the demurrer consider what a strange companion, has been the diversion of his figure she will make, if she chances to get friends, upon account of his passion, ever over all difficulties, and comes to a final since the year one thousand six hundred resolution in that unseasonable part of her and eighty-one.
I would not however be understood, by • DEAR SIR,-You know very well my any thing I have here said, to discourage passion for Mrs. Martha, and what a dance that natural modesty in the sex, which renshe has led me. She took me out at the age ders a retreat from the first approaches of
a lover both fashionable and graceful. All after the body is cast off and thrown aside. that I intend is, to advise them, when they As an argument to confirm this their docare prompted by reason and inclination, to trine, they observe, that a lewd youth who demur only out of form, and so far as de- goes on in a continued course of voluptuouscency requires. A virtuous woman should ness, advances by degrees into a libidinous reject the first offer of marriage, as a good old man; and that the passion survives in man does that of a bishopric; but I would the mind when it is altogether dead in the advise neither the one nor the other to per- body; nay, that the desire grows more sist in refusing what they secretly approve. violent, and (like all other habits) gathers I would in this particular propose the ex- strength by age at the same time that it ample of Eve to all her daughters, as Mil- has no power of executing its own purton has represented her in the following poses. If, say they, the soul is the most passage, which I cannot forbear transcrib- subject to these passions at a time when it ing entire, though only the twelve last lines has the least instigations from the body, are to my present purpose.
we may well suppose she will still retain
them when she is entirely divested of it. The rib he form'd and fashion'd with his hands: Under his forming hands a creature grew,
The very substance of the soul is festered Man-like, but diff'rent sex; so lovely fair,
with them, the gangrene is gone too far to That what seem'd fair in all the world, seem'd now be ever cured; the inflammation will rage Mean, or in her summ'd up, in her contain'd, And in her looks; which from that time infus'd
to all eternity Sweetness into my heart, unfelt before;
In this therefore, (say the Platonists,) And into all things from her air inspir'd
consists the punishment of a voluptuous The spirit of love and amorous delight. Sbe disappear'd, and left me dark; I wak'd
man after death. He is tormented with To find her, or for ever to deplore
desires which it is impossible for him to Her loss, and other pleasures all abjure;
gratify; solicited by a passion that has neiWhen out of hope, behold her, not far off,
ther objects nor organs adapted to it. He Such as I saw ber in my dream, adorn'd With what all earth or heaven could bestow lives in a state of invincible desire and imTo inake her amiable. On she came,
potence, and always burns in the pursuit Led by her heav'nly Maker, though unseen, of what he always despairs to possess. It And guided by his voice, nor uninform'd Of nuptial sanctity and marriage rites:
is for this reason (says Plato) that the souls Grace was in all her steps, heaven in her eye, of the dead appear frequently in cemeIn every gesture dignity and love. I, overjoy'd, could not forbear aloud:
teries, and hover about the places where * This turn hath made amends: thou hast fulfilled their bodies are buried, as still hankering Thy words, Creator, bounteous and benign!
after their old brutal pleasures, and deGiver of all things fair; but fairest this
siring again to enter the body that gave Of all thy gifts, nor enviest. I now see Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, myself."
them an opportunity of fulfilling them. She heard me thus, and though divinely brought, Some of our most eminent divines have Yet innocence and virgin modesty,
made use of this Platonic notion, so far as Her virtue, and the conscience of her worth, That would be woord, and not unsought be won,
it regards the subsistence of our passions Not obvious, not obtrusive, but retir'd
after death, with great beauty and strength The more desirable; or, to say all, Nature herself, though pure of sinful thought,
of reason. Plato indeed carries the thought Wrought in her so, that seeing me she turn'd. very far when he grafts upon it his opinion I follow'd her: she what was honour knew, of ghosts appearing in places of burial. And with obsequious majesty approv'd
Though I must confess, if one did believe My pleaded reason. To the nuptial bower I led her blushing like the morn
that the departed souls of men and women Paradise Lost, viii. 469-511. wandered up and down these lower re
gions, and entertained themselves with the
sight of their species, one could not deNo. 90.] Wednesday, June 13, 1711.
vise a more proper hell for an impure
spirit than that which Plato has touched -Magnus sine viribus ignis
upon. Incassum furit
Virg. Georg. iii. 99.
The 'ancients seem to have drawn such In all the rage of impotent desire,
a state of torments in the description of They feel a quenchless flame, a fruitless fire.'
Tantalus, who was punished with the rage THERE is not, in my opinion, a consi- of an eternal thirst, and set up to the chin deration more effectual to extinguish inor- in water that ffed from his lips whenever dinate desires in the soul of man, than the heattempted to drink it. notions of Plato and his followers upon that Virgil who has cast the whole system of subject. They tell us, that every passion Platonic philosophy, so far as it relates to which has been contracted by the soul the soul of man, into beautiful allegories, during her residence in the body, remains in the sixth book of his Æneid gives us with her in a separate state; and that the the punishment of a voluptuary after death, soul in the body, or out of the body, differs not unlike that which we are here speakno more than the man does from himself ing of: when he is in his house, or in open air.
-Lucent genealibus altis When therefore the obscene passions in Aurea fulcra toris, epulæque ante ora paratæ particular have once taken root, and spread Regifico luxu: furiarum maxima juxta themselves in the soul, they cleave to her
Accubat, et manibus prohibet contingere mensas: inseparably, and remain in her for ever,
Exurgitque facem attollens, atque intonat ore.
fr, vi. 604